Chapter One: Finding The Book

It was extremely quiet. It was growing uncomfortable. But Gamzee had run out of things to say. He stared blankly at his hands, which he was tying in knots, cracking his knuckles over and over to pass the time.

"Hey look," Tavros squeaked. "That line measures how I breath." He played with his breath, making the monitor rise and fall, and laughed quietly. Gamzee smiled weakly, and dragged his chair closer to the bed. Tavros looked away from the monitor, which was tracking his heart, breath and pulse. He turned to look at Gamzee, smiling softly. "Don't worry, alright?" His face was pale and growing gaunt. He weakly reached out a hand and hugged Gamzee's neck awkwardly. Gamzee silently straightened Tavros' short, chestnut faux-hawk out with his fingers. He kept his eyes fixed on Tavros' face. From the neck down, Tavros was broken. So broken. Gamzee let his hands and head drop. "G-Gamzee?"

"Y..yeah. I'm fine," Gamzee said, looking up and smiling weakly at Tavros. Tavros smiled, then yawned.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap. Don't leave, alright? W-well… if you have to leave then leave b-but." Gamzee interrupted Tavros' ramble with a gentle kiss.

"I won't leave you, my Tavbro," he said quietly. "You get your motherfuckin' sleep so you can get better." Tavros smiled. His brown eyes glimmered. Gamzee couldn't understand how the boy could manage to be so happy. He stood up and pulled the covers over Tavros. He was careful around his chest and legs, avoiding his injuries. He let his mind go numb so he wouldn't want to cry again. By the time he was done tucking the boy in, he was already asleep. His fingers loosely gripped a stuffed bull toy from his childhood. A pair of fairy wings was lazily sewn onto it. Tavros' Tinkerbull kept him company when Gamzee or his parents couldn't be in the hospital with him. And if anyone wanted to give the sixteen year old boy a hard time about it, Gamzee would make sure they got a fistful for it. Of course, nobody was going to give Tavros a hard time right now. Even those that would give the boy a hard time for being in a wheelchair in the past wouldn't bother him now. It took a real asshole to want to pick on a boy with a shattered pelvis, broken ribs and internal bleeding. Gamzee began to cry again. "Damnit, Tav," he whispered, stroking the sleeping boys cheek before slumping back down. Tavros stirred slightly, his grip tightening on Tinkerbull.

Gamzee frowned, listening to the heart monitor beep rhythmically. Tavros' breath fell and rose evenly according to the machine. According to the machine, he was doing great. Fuck the machine, Gamzee wished it knew what it was talking about.

The hospital room was where Gamzee practically lived lately. At first, so had Tavros' mother, but she had had to return to work, having run out of time to take off. Gamzee had promised he'd keep up with his school work while he was out. As of now, though, it was piling up in the corner of the room. He was able to force himself to do a bit of it while he waited for Tavros' to wake up. He looked up at the sterile prison that surrounded him. A few Get Well Soon balloons danced in the air. A large bouquet of flowers sat on the table next to Tavros. Besides that, the room held not much more then Tavros' bed, medical supplies, and Gamzee's chair, which would recline into a makeshift bed. Even Gamzee, who got up to leave once or twice a day to get lunch or go talk to nurses was growing tired of the room. He could only imagine how Tavros, who had been there for nearly three weeks, felt. Most of the time he stared out the window, which only gave him a view of the other side of the hospital and some pigeons that stopped by.

The phone began to ring. Gamzee practically dove for it, trying to ensure that Tavros got rest. "Hello?" He whispered.

"Oh, hello, Gamzee."

"Hey, Mrs. Nitram. You doin' okay?"

"I'm fine, Gamzee. How are you?"

"Holding up," Gamzee croaked, looking over at Tavros.

As Gamzee watched him sleep he noticed a small book. He picked it up. It was a composition book. The front was labeled GAMZEE in tight, capital letters.

"Is Tavros doing alright?"

"Well he hasn't gotten any worse," Gamzee said, slightly distracted by the book. Mrs. Nitram sighed.

"Alright. Well I'm just getting off my lunch break. I have to go back to work. I'll probably be their tonight around six, if you want to go home."

"Well, I don't but that's wanna leave but that's cool with me. It's your turn to stay with Tav if that what you want."

"Thank you Gamzee. You're a good kid, you know?"

"Thanks, Mrs. N. You're pretty cool, too." She laughed weakly.

"Alright, Gamzee. See you tonight."

"See ya." Mrs. Nitram hung up. Gamzee hung up, then watched Tavros for a moment. He looked peaceful, like nothing could be wrong. Under the covers, under his pajamas though were layers and layers of bandages, soaking in blood that didn't seem to stop. He was scheduled for another blood transfusion at lunchtime today. Gamzee sighed shakily, then turned his attention to the book in his hands. Was it for him? He felt bad. Maybe he shouldn't be looking at it. He opened it and decided to look at the first page.

Gamzee-

If you're reading this then I'm probably gone. Or I gave it to you early or something. Maybe you just found it when I was off getting some tests done. Well, that's okay I guess. You can read it if you want. I kinda think that's better than if you found it once I was dead. So anyway, however you came across this you can have it. If it's finished. If it's not, can you give it back when you're done?

Gamzee frowned, clutching the book tighter. This was intended for him to read when Tavros died? Gamzee looked up at the boy. Did Tavros think he was going to die? Gamzee sighed. It wasn't an unrealistic thing to believe, really. But Gamzee wanted him to have hope. Maybe hope, if nothing else, could help him. Because obviously medicine and Tavros' own body weren't on their side.

I wrote this all down because I wanted to remember our whole story. And I want you to remember it too. I hope that it's not really selfish for me to want you to remember me.

Gamzee was already on the verge of tears. He flipped through the book. Pages and pages were filled with Tavros' writing. He flipped back to the front page and started to read from the beginning.