A/N: Dear Sir or Madame- It is our greatest regret to inform you that we have taken up residence in a country that may or may not be Japan. Thusly, we are of the tender drinking age and feel the need to get totally knackered and write some good wholesome fanfiction. We are sorry if this offends or arouses you in an unnatural manner. Regards, Ayumipants and Company.
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE LIVED A BEAUTIFUL MAN NAMED SPAIN. It was his finest wish to become a professional manny for Spain loved little boys. The littler the better. Yum-my. Spain also loved animu. In his spare time he would draw little boys in the style of manga so it wasn't weird or gay at all. Nope, not even a little bit.
One fine Saturday afternoon, Spain was frolicking down the lane and he ran into a rather Asian looking fellow.
"DO YOU LIKE ANIME?" Spain glomped.
"Do you assume that just because I am Asian that I rike anime?" Japan japanned.
"No you baka!" Spain weebed, "I ask because you are dressed in a Pokemon t-shirt. I enjoy Pikachu as well."
"Not as much as my boyfriend does," Japan suggested suggestively.
Just then, a Ferrari sped by. In the driver's seat sat a withered but sexy older man whose name may or may not have been Grandpa Rome. Though Spain was gay, it was not the sexy but withered older fellow who caught his fancy. T'was the 11-year-old, supple, young jail-bait who sat in the passenger seat. Oh how Spain wished he were the seat so the tight young ass would sit upon him. Yum-my.
Sir Romano the Underage Virgin was currently swearing up a sexy sexy storm. HE was wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar popped and "Gangsta Luv" splashed across the chest/
"Yo Yo yo Grandpasta-pops. I don't know why you gotta be lettin' Ven-buttface be flirtin' up a shitty mc shit storm with that wusrt burger bastardo."
"mmmmm" said Spain to a concerned Japan because I sort of forgot Japan was there, "I want to lick that pasta penis." Yum-my.
"I thought we were tarking about animu," mooed Japan japanesely.
"GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU FURRY LOVING BITCH!" Spain exploded, shoving Japan into a cat-costume clad Greece.
"Well, aren't you purr-fect?" meowed Greece to a slightly concerned Japan-weeb, "I am a man-cat and you are giving me a boner. Shall we go back and you can dress in that pink kitty costume I have prepared for your sleek and sexy body type Nyan-pon?"
"I wourd rike that very much. I ruv dressing up rike a kitty cat aromst as much as I rike dressing up rike a rornery resbian rrama. Arso, I rike your knee. A rot."
Then they rode into the distance upon a China teapot-aru.
So anyway, Spain gets into the speeding Ferrai and says, "You know what I like Romano?"
Romano scooted closer to the tomato-party pants man.
"What do you like you saucy gelato sndae?"
"Boku no Pico and Moon Over June miu amigo. I have a crossover fanfiction called 'Fisting Little Boys While They're Menstruating."
Grandpa Rome said, "Mmmm, I like that kind of fanfiction. Almost as much as I like Germania Mania. I mean, there's so much mania in such a small form. Check it out!"
"I know what you mean bro," said America who had just appeared from the backseat because one of the writers really enjoys America. WHICH ONE NO ONE KNOWS HOW MANY OF US ARE THERE? "As the star quarterback of the United States of America, I am charged by Jesus My Big Bro In The Sky Christ to beat up any skinny bitches and hambeasts who read fanfiction unless they read Germania Mania because it's written by the holiest of trinities. You know which one."
"Ohhhh," said Romano, gazing at his Spanish luvah, "I love those sorts of fandoms. I also like fisting. In fact, I have some pretty sexy gloves that go all the way to my shoulder."
"EVERYONE LIKES VAGINA BUNNIES!" exclaimed Scotland, even though he's not a legit character.
"I AGREE!" said Wales. Because he needs to be there too. With his sheep and shit. Sheep shit.
Then they DIED.
So then they drive to the anime club and they see a room full of hambeast furries. They are sweating furry sweat from their furry pores of fur. It was sooooo smelly, like super smelly. Like, I'm-gonna-kill-myself-if-you-don't-fuckin-shower-smelly.
"GANGSTAS DON'T LIKE WEEBS BITCHES!" Romano THREW a table OVER THE BALCONY! HOLY SHIT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW! WHO LETS THEIR KID DO THAT? FUCK!
Japan was hit as the table few o'er head. HE fell to the floor and Greece ran screaming to his side!
"MY KITTY! MY PRETTY KITTY! WHY YOU BE ON THE FLOOR YO?" he said in an out of character Scottish accent.
"I am slain," said Polonius Japan.
"Goodnight sweet cat and little kitties meow at your womb," mourned slightly Horatio but not really Greece?
"YOU KILLED A MAN!" said Spain, "I AM AROUSED!"
Then they had super duper sex on the floor while everyone watched in quiet respect. They fapped respectfully.
Then the curtain closed on our favorite couple and they began their night. Remember, dear readers, Romano is only 11 so scenes portrayed in this fic should not be recreated unless using consenting adults of legal ages. Amen.
P.S. WE DEDICATE THIS TALE OF WOE TO WEEABOO STORIES AND THE MISFORTUNE THAT BEFELL THEE. EVEN THOUGH BITCHES BE PLENTIFUL IN THE WEEABOO STORIES TUMBLR OF YORE, YOU HATH PROVIDED US MANY A LAUGH IN OUR DARKEST OF DAYS. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. LOVE ALL TEN OS US! SO MANY!
There we go… was that good? Yes.
It be saved? Yeah, it be saved. Good job bro. Love you.
THEY TOOK AMY POND AWAY! I WEPT FOR DAYS! COME BACK! DOCTOR COME BACK AND TAKE HER WITH YOU! We don't need Rory as much… you can leave him.