The new life

It was her eighteenth birthday and I had been trying to get her on a better mood and Alice wasn't helping.

Even though she had agreed to come home to my family to celebrate it was just to make Alice happy. I felt a bit sorry for her and I had said that she didn't have to do this but she tried to convince me that this was what she wanted so I trusted her.

In the evening I drove my sweet Bella to my house. I heard her gasp at the sight of all the lights hanging in the trees leading up to the house. As always it was too much but that's Alice so I wasn't so surprised.

I parked the car outside the house instead of the garage and followed her up the stairs and in through the door. Bella gasped again at the sight of all the hundreds of flowers and all the candles hanging from the sealing. My black piano was covered with presents wrapped in silver wrapping paper and a big cake with Bella's name on it.

I heard Alice coming and her mind was set on hugging Bella. Right behind her was Esme, Carlisle and Emmett. Both Jasper and Rosalie was on the other side of the room with their faces in a strict consecrated look.

Even though I knew their reasons for doing so and happy that they did it I knew that it hurt Bella so I hopped that they would at leased say hello but neither of them moved.

I felt that Bella was being dragged towards the piano and I just followed.

Emmett snuck out to install the radio in Bella's car when Alice started thinking.

"Go and get the big present. I will keep her safe"

I turned to Bella and said that I was going to help Emmett. She gave me a look of pain but Alice gave her another present to open so I could sneak out.

I was barely aware of the thoughts and the talking upstairs when I heard Bella. "Ow paper cut"

I heard Alice's as well when I tried to figure out what really was going on upstairs. "FUCK!"

I froze when I could smell the blood but I quickly recovered and rushed upstairs. There was no way that I was going to lose the love of my life because of a paper cut.

When I came in to the room I only saw Jasper bent over Bella. I could just barely feel the others rushing over.

I pushed my muscles to the limit running towards Jasper and pushing him away as hard as I could. Bella's heartbeat was now very low and she was twisting in pain.

"CARLISLE!", I shouted.

I turned around to face him and he quickly ordered Emmett and Alice to take Jasper out of the house and the smell of the blood.

"CARLISLE! She's going to die!", I cried out and before I had even finished the sentence he was by my side.

"No she won't die but she will be turned in to a vampire. She has lost too much blood to suck the venom out without killing her".

I gasped and tried to hold myself together. It was hard because all I could think about was that I wanted to kill my own brother, rip him to pieces.

I stayed with Bella for her sake and for Alice's. I would never forgive myself if I hurt that little annoying sister of mine.

I heard Jaspers AND Alice's apologizes over and over again but I ignored them. I didn't want to hear them right now when Bella needed me.

I suddenly realized that I was holding my breath and that I was tense all over my body.

Carlisle put his hand on my back to comfort me but I couldn't release all this anger towards Jasper yet. This was not what I wanted to give Bella for her birthday even though this was what she really wanted.

I couldn't believe that my worst nightmare was happening right before my eyes. I knew that this would mean that I could be with her forever but I still wanted her to be human a little longer. To have her soul a bit longer and to have a heartbeat and rosy cheeks..

"Edward! Lift her up to my office, we will look after her there", Carlisle said and interrupted my daydream.

I lifted Bella up in my arms and held her close to my body so she wouldn't fall when she squirmed in pain. I gave her a quick kiss before running up to Carlisle's office.

With one of my legs I cleared the desk and put Bella very carefully on top of it.

I put my cold hand on her sweaty forehead to cool her down and it felt like it worked. Her body started to relax and her breathing was slowing down.

I could hear that Esme and Carlisle was starting a fire to eliminate the smell of blood. Even though I couldn't hear or smell Alice and Jasper I knew that they weren't so far away, perhaps 300 miles from here. They would be back before Bella was fully changed.

It had now been 53 hours sense Jasper had bit Bella and sucked too much of Bella's blood.

Her skin was now the same temperature as mine and her heartbeat was very slow so I knew that it was less than 3 hours left of the transformation.

I had too much information and experience of the transformation from my mother and all my siblings.

I had always been the one to watch over them because Carlisle couldn't bear to see people in pain.

Bella was still lying on Carlisle's desk but we had put a mattress as thick as Emmett's upper arm underneath so there was no way she wasn't comfortable.

Alice and Jasper hadn't come back to the house and no one had heard for them either. This mixed with Bella's transformation made everyone except Rosalie crazy from sadness and worry.

Rosalie was as usual too occupied with herself to even notice that Alice and Jasper were gone. Her world only existed of Emmett and her looks and of course hating Bella. She tried to hide it but she clearly didn't care enough about me because I could hear all the horrible things that she wanted to do to Bella. That's why I rarely left Bella's side but if I did I had to make sure that either Alice or Esme and Carlisle were in the room.

I turned my head to make sure that she hadn't woken up. Her eyes were still closed.

I could feel my non-beating heart hurting. It was like a big hole had been punched through my chest. So I put my arms around me to hold myself together.

Even though I still loved Bella more than everything combined it was not going to be the same. I mean, the humanity was gone and I couldn't impress her with my speed or my strength when she was as fast or as strong as me.

But I wouldn't have to defend her in the same way. No one could threaten Bella when she was as hard as a rock, at least not anyone who was human. The Volturi and the werewolves could still be a threat but I tried not to think about that, right now at least.

Charlie had called to ask why Bella wasn't home. What could you say? "She's being transformed into a vampire. She won't be home any time soon". And what would he answer to that? "Oh. Okay. When you're done with her could you possibly make me into a vampire as well?", I smiled at the thought and realized that I had become insane.

Carlisle had told him that he and Esme had given her a trip to Hawaii for a few days and that she would be home soon. Charlie had argued while Carlisle used his cool and persuasive voice so Charlie soon calmed down and said that it was okay as long as she would come home in a near future. Emmett had been planning her death ever sense.

"How is she?" asked a voice from the door and interrupted my day dreaming.

I tuned my head around to my tiniest sister standing in the doorway with a worried expression on her face. Alice's usual spiky hair was now lying flat to her head and she had black circles under her eyes.

I knew that if she could cry, she probably would.

I stood up to hug her. "She's fine. It won't be long now. She will be happy to see you".

She forced her lips to smile.

"Is Jasper here?", I asked and tried to make it sound like I really cared.

"No He thinks that you want to kill him after what he did and I have stopped him a few times from going…". I knew what she was going to say so I didn't force her.

"Where is he now?", I asked with real concern this time.

"He's with Tanya in Denali. I wanted to see Bella. To see how she was and perhaps help?".

I petted her on the head in an attempt to make her feel better.

It must be hard for her to know that the person you loved was suicidal. I could now see how I was against Bella.

"Maybe I should talk to him", I said.

"I don't think that's a good idea. He will think that I told you to say that everything's okay"

" I wasn't planning on try to comfort him. I'm sorry Alice but I'm not sure that I can forgive him".

Alice nodded , turned to Bella and kissed her on her forehead, turned on her heel and walked out of the door without saying a word.

Soon after that, Carlisle was by my side. "So you won't forgive Jasper?".

"No", I said with a sigh. "I'm not sure that I can".

"I can understand what you're saying but you knew that she would become a vampire sooner or later".

"I want her to still be human", shouted.

"You want to be with her forever right?" he asked while he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Right. But…" I tried to push his hand away.

"No, NO BUTS! You're not making any sense! You want to be with her forever but you want that Bella remains human!?" he shouted and I could see that Carlisle was a bit mad at me.

"I know it doesn't make sense but..." Carlisle held up a finger to show that I just said a but. "…but! I think that we could have prepared her more. Have told her all our stories and the others. I don't want Bella to become a maniac and kill everybody in Forks. Kill all her friends and family". I turned my head down and looked at my feet.

"We won't let that happen and you know that. We will strap her down if we have to", Carlisle smiled at me but (!) I couldn't raise my head.

"I can't forgive Jasper… yet".

"You have all the time in the world", he smiled at his own joke. "Focus on Bella now. Then you can try and forgive him".

He left the room to leave me to think. My thoughts went wild and there were no stopping them.

What if she becomes a maniac and the Volturi shows up to kill her? They won't give her a second chance. MY BELLA'S GOING TO DIE!

I could picture Aro, Caius and Marcus with their bodyguards coming towards us with their flowy coats and ruby red eyes. Coming to kill Bella. How could I live if they killed my soul mate? How could I go on from that?

I decided right then and there that I would try to stop them. If they were going to kill Bella they had to go through me and probably my family as well. I knew that they would be there for me. I mean, my own family wouldn't just abandon me. Would they?

I suddenly became unsure of my family's loyalty to each other. I was truly losing my mind.

To not think about the Volturi and my family abandoning me, I started to think about when I first met Bella.

It was not raining and it was quite odd. It was always raining in Forks and that's why we moved here in the first place.

My family and I had just arrived at school and we were standing by the car, talking.

Alice was, as always, worried about Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett… well… lets just say that they weren't talking… they made out AGAINST the car. I felt sorry for the car because that was disgusting. I suddenly got pictures in my head of Rosalie and Emmett tangled together, having sex.

"ROSALIE! I don't want to see that!" I hissed at her but she just smiled at me.

Another picture of them together in my room came up and this time I had enough. I turned on my heel and walked towards the school when I heard what I thought was a tractor but when I turned around I saw that it was a normal human an old pick-up truck.

Oh! She's new I thought.

I looked closer and realized that I couldn't read her mind.

I tried to read her mind again and failed. I got incredible frustrated.

I turned towards the school again with my anger growing stronger.

At lunch everybody was thinking about the new girl: Isabella Swan. The police chiefs' daughter from Arizona.

The boys were fighting over her and the girls were jealous of her.

She walked in to the cafeteria and it suddenly hit me: her smell was… there was no chance that I could describe it.

It was the first time that I wanted to drink a human's blood this bad. It was like I was an addict and she was my heroine.

Jasper detected my feelings and sent a wave of calmness that I happily accepted.

After lunch I had biology.

The class was okay. There was nothing in biology that I didn't know. That was because I had gone through medical school a couple years ago.

Isabella came through the door with Mike Newton hanging around her, asking a bunch of questions that she clearly didn't want to answer.

I put my hand in front of my nose so I wouldn't breath in too much of her smell.

Our teacher gave her a book and showed her to the only seat available, next to me… Lovely.

I pushed my chair so far away from her as possible. She seemed upset and smelled her hair to see if it smelled weird.

Of course you don't, I thought to myself and smiled a quick smile before I turned my head to "focus" on the lesson.

As soon as the bell rang I was long gone.

There was no way that I could sit next to her anymore. I had to chance class before it was too late. Unfortunately there were no classes that had room for one more student.

What was I going to do? I would end up killing her!

Then I remembered my "cousins" in Denali. I could stay with them till my family bought another house some ware far away from here.

When we finally got home after school Alice looked funny at me and I knew that she had seen my future.

I opened my mouth to speak but Alice spoke first.

"I know what you're going to say, brother, but we will not agree. We won't leave Forks".

The whole family looked at me and I knew that they had understood what was going on.

"Why do you want to leave?" Carlisle asked me.

I opened my mouth to speak again but Alice spoke for me again. "There is a girl, Bella, in our school"

"So Edward's having girl problems" Emmett laughed.

"I'm not having girl problem! Sure she is a girl and she is a problem but she's not that kind of problem!"

"But you can't just leave when ever there's a problem, son. You can take a break and visit your cousins but we will not move until we look to old" Carlisle said.

"Fine! I will 'take a break!'" I said and stormed up to my room to pack.

"Edward?" it was Esme. She was probably worried about me.

"What is it, mother?" I said sarcastically.

"I know that you're upset but you don't want you to take it out on me. Edward honey, you know that we like it here. I am a bit surprised that you couldn't have guessed it" Esme said with a sad face.

"I know and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you and you know that and yes, deep down I knew that you wouldn't leave with me. I just want you to go with me.

I'm going to take a break from Forks and maybe everything"

So you're not going to Denali?" Esme asked surprised.

"I'm not sure yet. I just know that I need a car. Can I take the Volvo or will the others get mad if I take that car?"

"They won't get mad and we have five other cars that they could use.

You have to promise me that you will come back" Esme was now holding my hands in hers and it looked like she would cry.

"I can promise that I'll be safe but not that I will come back. I'm sorry Esme but I really don't know anything yet. I'll at least come and visit" The last part was to lighten the mood and it seemed to be working.

"Just promise that you'll call and let me know" She said with a half-hearted smile.

"I promise" I said and gave her a hug.

Esme turned on her heel and walked slowly down the stairs.

I finished packing and went down to the others. Carlisle threw the car keys towards me and I caught them before I had time to blink.

"I'm not sure when I will be back or even if I will be back…" I heard Esme sigh but I ignored her. "…I just know that I don't want to be chased. If you just let me be then it will be a bigger chance that I'll come home" I looked at each of my family members individually before walking towards the door. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around to see my tiny sister. She opened her arms to hug me and I accepted it.

"I'll miss you, brother"

"And strangely, I'll miss you as well, Alice" I said with a smile.

When I drove away from the house I had a feeling of emptiness. To drag that feeling out of my body I started to think about were I was going. I thought of living alone but I would never be able to handle that for a long time. I also thought of diving to see my cousins in Denali. It would be safer if I stayed with Tanya and the others. I wouldn't lose my mind.

The trip took over two hour s even though I was driving in 250 kilometers an hour. It was the time that I needed to clear my head.

The driveway was similar to ours, the long way through wilderness, but the house was built out of gray bricks and reminded me of a castle.

As soon as I turned off the engine Tanya was out through the door to see who it was. Her blond hair was lying in thick curls around her face. She smiled at me when she saw that it was me.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" she asked while she walked on the garden path towards the car were I was standing.

"I needed to get away from Forks, there were some trouble. Hope it's not a bad time"

"Not at all" she said and gave me a big hug. "But the rest of my family is away on other business" she continued and winked at me.

I shivered without her noticing

"Let's go inside" she said, took my bags and ran inside and I followed.

The big living room was white as ours and the furniture was light gray.

Tanya was already sitting in a big light gray leather sofa. She tapped her hand on the pillow next to her. I sighed and sat down were her hand had tapped. When I looked at her I saw Isabella's face. I shook my head and Tanya's face was back.

"What's new with the Cullen's?" Tanya asked and smiled towards me.

"Mostly same old, same old. Nothing really new" I did not smile back at her. I was not in that kind of mood.

"No girlfriend?"

"Nope"

"How is your family doing?"

"Fine"

She moved closer towards me and I moved away.

"How are you?" she asked with a flirtatious voice.

"Okay"

"Just okay?" she moved closer.

"Yes" I said and moved away from the sofa to a small armchair.

Tanya clearly got upset and turned on the TV.

For several days we didn't say anything to each other before I had enough and tried to lighten the mood. We were still sitting in the same positions as when I came to the house and the TV was still on.

"Were Eleazar, Carmen, Kate and Irina?"

"There have their reasons for being gone" she snapped at me.

"So you're going to be mad at me?" I asked a bit hurt.

"No"

"You have to understand that I don't want anything of that from you. I came here to escape from that"

"Really?" she turned towards me and looked like she was going to hear the juiciest gossip she had ever heard.

I sighed and told her the story about Isabella.

"Oh… Do you like this girl?" Tanya said and couldn't get the surprised expression off of her face.

"How do you mean like?"

"Like, like. Let me rephrase it for you: Do you want to kiss this girl?"

"OH! I haven't thought about it actually… I was just so frustrated about not being able to read her mind that I couldn't think about anything else"

"Well… think about it now then"

I thought about it for a second or two before I answered. "I think that I would like that"

Tanya was now smiling. "Then why are you here you stupid man?"

"What do you mean?" I said and felt confused.

"Go home and talk to her!"

"What should I talk about?" I was seriously getting scared.

"Everything that you want to know. Why she moved her in the first place is a good way to start"

"Okay… Thanks Tanya. I will come back soon and visit you for real" I smiled and gave her a hug before running out to the car and driving home.

When I later parked the car in the garage the whole family was there to greet me.

"EDWARD!" Esme cried out.

"Hello mother" I said with a smile before she hugged me.

"I'm so glad that you're home. But you didn't call!" she said and played hit me.

"I'm sorry but I'm home. Be happy about that"

"I know, I know. So… how was it in Denali?"

"It was only Tanya there…" I heard that Emmett started to laugh. "But she was… fine"

"Emmett was now lying double on the floor because of how much he was laughing.

Edward I heard Jasper call out my name through his mind. I looked at him and he continued.

Isa…Bella is missing you I felt that I was surprised. I have felt her emotions and I have seen her eyes wander towards us to see if you're with us. I think you should talk to her. I nodded towards my brother.

I hugged Esme again and went up to my room to unpack (or rather to throw away all the clothes.)

I sat down on the white leather sofa in my room to think.

Bella's missing me? Can that really be true?

I started to think about what I would say to her in the morning until Jasper came up, knocked on the door, and walked in.

"If you are going to talk to her then maybe you should go hunting. Your eyes are pretty black and I bet your throat is burning right now" he smiled at me.

"You're right" I said when I suddenly felt flames throwing them selves up my vocal cords. "Want to join me?"

"If you want me to" he said and continued to smile while he sent a wave of calmness over me.

We jumped out of my bedroom window and I had to stop to see the beautiful pink light the sky gave out when the sun tried to force its way up. Somehow that reminded me of Bella.

"If you're coming to school today then we have to hurry. We only have a few hours".

"You're right" I smiled. "The sunrise just reminded me of her"

"You will see her soon IF you hunt now"

I started to run and I was surprised how much I've missed to run. I realized that I was pushing myself to my limit and that I couldn't see Jasper when I turned around. I stopped and then started to run again when I realized that I was hunting for Bella. I missed her probably as much or perhaps even more that she missed me.

"Edward?"