Say You Will, a waking the dead fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Waking the Dead or any of its episodes or characters. I'm just borrowing them for a trip down the pub- I promise I'll return them (sober!) in time for work tomorrow.

Pairings: Boyd/Grace

Spoilers: Specific spoilers for the series 2 episode 'Deathwatch'. Not sure precisely when this is set though, or who 'the rest of the team' are.

Rating: T

Notes: Inspired partly by shadowsamurai83's fantastic songfics and partly by the Foreigner song 'Say You Will'. Both songs used are entitled 'Say You Will'. I believe the first set of lyrics are owned by Foreigner and the second set are owned by Mick Jagger- neither are owned by me, anyhow. I'm just borrowing them for the purpose of this fic, with no malicious intent. My apologies to shadow if (s)he minds me borrowing the songfic idea- I'll delete this if you do. ; )

Say You Will

It had been going on for months. She wasn't quite sure how much the rest of the team had noticed or realised. Hell, she wasn't even sure how much he had noticed! The anger was rising steadily and she wasn't even aware why. Or at least, she wasn't willing to admit to herself why she felt like this; but it was there, hovering in the back of her mind like some ever-present toxin, poisoning her thoughts. There had been all this bloody flirting, but what the hell did it all mean? One moment he was laughing and smiling, his words teasing like the fleeting touches of his hand on her arm or hand or shoulder. The next moment his eyes were clouded over in a thunderstorm and those same strong hands were gesturing wildly, flitting rapidly about like vampire bats on the prowl, and he would be yelling. Sometimes at her, sometimes at someone else; but the yelling never really went away. No matter how bright and sunny the teasing moments were- and she had to admit, they had been happening much more lately- the rainclouds always drifted back overhead and threatened to envelope them both in a lightning storm.

Well, it seemed that the storm had finally descended tonight. She was sick to death of him blowing hot and cold with her like this. It had been wearing her down for months, and she needed an answer before it drove her insane. Sighing heavily, she stared round her office, suddenly realising that she had been pacing for the last ten minutes- an activity most uncharacteristic. Halting in her unrelenting tread, she slumped into her chair, resting her head in her hands. She sat like that a few moments, letting her storm of emotion pass over her, then looked up resolutely, strong again.

"Oh, sod this!" she exclaimed in a manner not unlike his, reaching for the radio by way of a distraction. The lyrics of the song that met her ears did little to improve her mood and she shut her eyes again resignedly.

'Say you will, say you won't

Make up your mind tonight;

Say you do, say you don't

Wanna be mine.'

~ * ~ * ~

Unanswered questions hung heavily in the air beside him as he drove home. Why did it matter so much when she stopped flirting and started glaring? Why did something bleak always descend between them when they were just living in the moment, flirting, having fun; something that made him snap or yell and her glare or sigh? Why did it hurt him just so much when he caught her crying when she didn't think he was looking? Why the hell did she always play hot and cold with him, building up his hopes and then dashing them again in the space of a few minutes? Why could the storm clouds never stay away for long? What the hell was he hoping for, anyway? Growling in frustration, he switched the radio on in an attempt to pull himself away from the incessant questions. But as the lyrics of the song playing caught his attention, another question hit him painfully in the chest. Why the hell was he driving home anyway?

'Say you will, say you won't

Make up your mind this time;

Say you will, say you will

Be mine tonight.'

Memories of a dozen sleepless nights tumbled through Boyd's mind as the song played on and he remembered all the near misses; all the times he'd nearly lost her; all the times he'd nearly driven her away. ('I can't sleep- I keep dreaming I'm losing you...') He couldn't decide which thought was worse- the idea of her leaving due to his undeniably sharp tongue when he'd lashed her with his contempt one time to many; or the memory of that time she'd been attacked in her own home by one he could only describe as 'a pathetic specimen of a gangster', but nevertheless a cruel, stupid man who could have robbed her of her precious life. Either way, the recollections were not pleasant, and as the acute pain and anxiety of entering that 'crime scene'- on her birthday as well!- struck him full in the chest, he crashed his head onto the top of the steering wheel in anguish, glad of the red light that gave him the opportunity to let out a little of his pain. God, but that was one of the worst memories of his life!

~ * ~ * ~

In the darkness of her office, Grace could not help but laugh bitterly at the lyrics drifting from the radio. ('Feel so alone in the night, scared to open my eyes...')

"Too damn right," she said out loud, keeping her eyes screwed shut. Instinct told her that he would be back, but she didn't know if she cared. She didn't know whether she was more scared about opening her eyes to see her empty office, or to see him standing before her with a bottle of wine as a peace offering. So she ignored her inner voice and did exactly what he would- pretend the emotional problem didn't exist. Pushing back the irrational fear with determination, she relaxed her eyes behind closed lids and just listened to the music, trying to put Boyd out of her mind. But just as determinedly, the truly apt lyrics kept him there.

'I'm in too deep, I'm in over my head this time;

Can't get you out of my mind no matter how hard I try.'

Those words struck Boyd right to the core as he pulled into the car park once more, having no trouble finding a space at this time of night.

"Too damn right," he muttered as he switched off the engine, fighting the image of Grace's face, alive with laughter, filling his mind with her light. Sometimes he just couldn't believe the depth of the feelings he held for her, but whenever fate provided him with an opportunity to voice some of that feeling, fear held him back. If only she'd just stop bloody flirting and give him something solid to work with! The familiar sense of anguish swept his thoughts as he strode down the corridor back to the offices, certain that she would still be there.

~ * ~ * ~

She was. In the darkness of her office, Grace remained sat still as a statue in her chair, letting the chorus wash over her, unconsciously coming to what was possibly the most important decision of her life.

'Say you will, say you won't

Make up your mind tonight;

Say you will, say you won't

Be my guiding light.

Say you will, say you won't

Make up your mind this time;

Say you do, say you do:

You wanna be mine.'

Yes. She was tired of being constrained by her conflicting emotions, unsure which to act on and which to suppress. She was tired of the constant dance of flirting and arguing- the feelings waltzing just below the surface of both their consciousnesses needed to be embraced or restrained one way or another. Because he did feel something, she was sure of that. So that was that. The next time she saw Boyd, she'd just have it out with him, tell him a little of how she felt- just a little, she didn't want to scare him off!- and demand a decision. Be with her or stop flirting, full stop. She couldn't handle this half-way house situation any longer. Tonight, she had made up her mind. Tomorrow, he needed to.

~ * ~ * ~

In fact, Boyd's mind was already made up. The words of even just the chorus and first verse of that song he'd heard on the radio had decided him. He was sick of this state of blowing hot and cold with one another. Something at the back of his mind told him that she did feel something. It was time for the light, friendly flirting to stop and the emotions to finally be addressed. It was time that she either said she did or she didn't want to be his. But whatever her answer, he knew that it would not stop the fact that she was his guiding light, for better or for worse.

As he entered the bullpen, he was astonished to find that the song he'd left in the car had followed him to the office, and was filling the empty space. That could mean only one thing- he was right, and Grace was still here. She was the only one to keep a stereo with built in radio on her desk. He was about to take a step towards her office when the lyrics caught his attention and he halted again to listen to the truth they spoke to his heart.

'I get the feeling I've never been here before,

'Cause no-one I've known's ever moved me the way

That you do.

And I know this is the real thing-

It's all I've been searching for.

I've put it all on the line now I'm hoping you feel

That way too.

(And if you do) Why don't you

Say you will, say you won't

Make up your mind tonight;

Say you do, say you don't

Wanna be mine...'

~ * ~ * ~

Some tiny insignificant noise in the bullpen caught Grace's attention suddenly, and her eyes shot open with no consideration for her silly fears. Some instinct told her who was out there, but what if she was wrong? Rising quickly to her feet, she crept to the open doorway to see who it was. As she stood there, almost silhouetted by the light of her desk lamp, she found her eyes drawn irresistibly to Boyd's, which were alive with the challenge raised in the lyrics floating from her office.

'Now will you

Say you will, yeah say you won't

Make up your mind this time;

Say you will, say you will:

You'll be mine tonight.'

They stood and stared at one another for what seemed like an age, though really the instrumental break through which they stood like statues only lasted a matter of seconds. As the lyrics resumed, the questions they asked reflected in both Boyd's eyes and Grace's as they made identical demands of one another, conveying the anguish of the last couple of confusing months.

'Will you tell me how much I mean to you?

Will you say you always will be true?

I need more than a come-on sign,

So won't you say you will be mine?'

As they listened to the lyrics, silently asking the sentiment of one another, Boyd raised a questioning eyebrow and held out his hands towards Grace, inviting a reply. Despite the insistence on saying that ran through the song that looked set to change their lives, they found that words weren't actually necessary after all. Grace's answer was immediate: she didn't need to think; she wanted nothing more than to be his, and for him to be hers. Nodding her head in a silent reply, she stretched her own hands out and with one accord, as if magnetically attracted to one another, they began to walk slowly forward, closing the space of questions before them.

Even as they started to move, the heap of files on Grace's desk that had been threatening to give way all day finally gave in and slipped forward, crashing heavily into the stereo; the sound going unnoticed by the pair who were lost in one another's eyes. What didn't go unnoticed was the sudden change in tempo and lyrics as the errant folders set the radio to a different station. Her arms around his neck, his hands about her waist, their lips mere inches apart; the sudden change in song made them both whip round in shock. Then the lyrics hit them, and catching one another's eye they could not help laughing.

'I need a lover surely as I need a friend,

Someone whose laughter I'll lean on

To tie our lives together.'

Their laughter died away as they looked at one another, and slowly, slowly, Boyd reached his hand up to cup her face, running his thumb lightly across her lips, making them tingle lightly with the sensation- a sensation that somehow seemed to mean more, to speak more even, than all the months of flirting. Her eyes bored into his in a luscious challenge as the song played on.

'Cast all your fears aside

And say you will, say you will be mine;

And stay with me until the end of time;

And help me, help me grind this mill of life;

And say you will, say you will...'

Reading her question and her challenge, Boyd nodded slowly. He didn't know how possible it would be, and he couldn't quite see why anyone would want to tie themselves to him until the end of time, but that didn't matter. It might have been a rash promise to make, but in that moment he meant it, meant it with all his heart. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than to thrust aside the stupid fears that had tied his tongue for far too long; nothing he wanted more than for Grace to be his and he to be hers; for them to be together and happy for a long long time and sod the rest of the world. Putting all of his heart into the action so she could be in no doubt of how he felt this time, he leaned down and kissed her, the kiss gradually and delightfully deepening as the song drew slowly to its close.

'Cast all your fears aside,

Say you will,

Cast all your fears aside,

Say you will,

You make my heart come alive,

Say you will,

Help me, help me, help me,

Help me grind this mill,

Grind this mill of life.

Say you will,

Say you will be mine.

Come on,

Say you will,

Say you will be mine.

Say you will,

Say you will be mine...'