Hey everyone, I just had some ideas for new stories and I had to write them down. For those who read my other stories, some of them might take some time to update cuz I'm not really in the mood. I just needed something really angst to work on.
Be warned, this story is going to be really angst. This is about dark thoughts and moody stuff…I needed this kinda story right now. I can't seem to write anything fluffy…anyways, here's the new story.
He sat on his bed. His mind was shut off and he stared blankly ahead of him. Nothing seemed real anymore. The man he considered like his father was gone and he knew who killed him but no one trusted him. Even his mom said that he was a little crazy and proposed him to go see a shrink.
Lucas' life had become a mess since the death of his uncle. He was with Brooke back then. That was until, of course, she broke up with him because he was too caught up with his own life and she didn't see the old Lucas anymore.
He did everything he could to get her back but to no avail. She clearly told him that she didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore so he turned to Peyton. He thought they were friends until she told him how she really felt. He realized he liked her too and they got together.
He had his best friend too…at least for a while. After that night at the state championship, she just wasn't the same. She and Nathan got closer with her pregnancy and he kind of drifted away from her, from them.
Everything was doing great with Peyton until she moved back with Brooke after Derek attacked them…they became 'hoes over bros' again and Peyton spent more time with Brooke and Ian than she spent time with Lucas.
In fact, they all thought he was crazy. After he woke up from his heart attack, saying that he saw Keith, everyone started thinking that maybe he was a bit crazy. Even his mom didn't believe him and she did something even worse, she kissed Dan.
When Lucas walked in his bedroom that morning, he found the murderer of his dad kissing his mother and that, he didn't take it. Karen yelled at him when he said Dan was the one who killed Keith. Lucas knew it was the truth though…but how could he bring everyone to believe him?
There he sat. In his bedroom, just after his mom left…she said she was worried about him. What bullshit! She just innocently hugged him and told him she wanted him to talk to her. That he exactly what he did and for what? She told him to go see a shrink. A fucking shrink.
She just left and already, he felt the nonsense of it all. His life, the lies, the broken hearts club, the pain…When Peyton's mom died, he tried to do anything for her but he didn't know how this could hurt. He had never imagined the pain it caused until the man he loved most was taken away from him, forever.
He wiped his eyes to keep back the tears that were threatening to fall at any seconds. He was alone. He was sad. He was a mess. A real train wreck. What could he possibly think of doing in these conditions? Go out. Clear hi mind and blow some steam.
Lucas grabbed the car keys on the night stand and left his house. He didn't leave anything for his mom. Neither a note nor a message. Actually, he didn't really want her to know where he was going in case he wasn't coming back. He hopped in his car and drove towards the only place he could think of, Tric.
The music was blasting from the speakers and Lucas combed the crowed to get to the bar. The tall woman behind it automatically recognized him and offered him his first drink it's on me, she said. She sat across from him and stared at him for a second.
'Last time I saw you, you looked happier than that' she said.
'Not really hard…' he said emotionless.
'Seriously, what's wrong with you?' she asked.
'Honestly, everyone thinks I'm crazy' he replied, not much more emotion in his cold voice.
She felt a stab of sympathy and offered him a comforting smile. He didn't even see it with his head low and his gaze fixed on nothing. She took out a few bottles and made a special drink with them.
'Here' she said, 'that's my homemade drink. It always makes me feel better when I'm blue…'
He mumbled a soft thank you and took the drink. He lifted the glass to his lips and drank the content f the glass in a few seconds. One shot and it was all gone.
Lucas shook his head and swallowed the taste of the strong cocktail the barmaid given him. Just then, he started feeling the effect of it as his head started feeling pretty light. He let out a nervous laugh and stood, searching for his phone in his jeans pocket.
'Be right back' he said as he went outside to get a better signal. He really felt alone and with the drinks he just had, he wasn't sure if he would be able to drive his ass home. He searched his friends list for someone trust worthy. He picked a number and pressed speed dial.
It rang a few times before a giggling voice answered the call.
'Hello?'
'Hey man, it's Luke…'
'O, hi man.' Nathan said while Haley was staring at him with craving eyes. The phone call had interrupted her tickling session with Nathan.
'Hey…uh I was wondering if you were busy at the moment'
'Yeah, actually I am'
'Sorry to be bothering you…'
'Yeah…Wait a sec, no Hales, it won't be long, so what's up?' Nathan asked speaking with Haley at the same time and not listening to Lucas at all.
'I'm really not feeling good, Nate…actually I'm kinda depressed right now and worried that I'll do something stupid…' Lucas replied with total honesty.
'Stop it Hales…uh man, that's great! Well keep it this way. I gotta go. See ya', Nathan hung up before Lucas could say anything more.
Lucas stared at the phone for one more second. His eyes were wide and he was startled with how much people really didn't care about him. Even his mom and his dad hated him. Now there was also his brother and best friend that sure as hell didn't want him.
Lucas walked back to the bar where the barmaid was surprised to see him.
'Hey, Luke. Didn't think I'd see you back around' she said.
'Might see me for a while…give me something strong…' he said.
She frowned but didn't had anything has she poured him a glass of one of the bottles Lucas had been staring at all night. He thanked her with a nod and finished the glass in one swallow.
'That was good! Can I get the bottle?'
'Luke…'
'Please'
'Your mom would fire me if she knew that I gave you so much'
'Don't worry, she'll never know!' Lucas promised.
She nodded and subtly wrapped the bottle in a brown paper bag and handed it to him. Lucas smiled and threw a fifty on the counter before he walked out of the club with the bottle.
He walked down in the parking lot when he crossed Brooke, hanging out with some friends. She barely showed interest in him it just looked like she had nothing better to do when she stopped him for a quick talk.
'Hey, Luke!' she exclaimed.
'Hi Brooke…' he said totally motionless but a little out of balance.
'What are you doing here?'
'Uh…that's my mom's club. What are you doing here?'
'Hanging out with some friends!' she giggled motioning to the girls with her.
She noticed the coldness in his eyes. The pain and the sadness in his eyes is what shocked her the most. He seemed totally out of it. He was nothing like the Lucas she knew. The tall blonde standing in front of her was just the shadow of what she once knew as Lucas. It almost broke her heart to be forced to search for that little sparkle that was always shining whenever she was looking through his baby blue eyes. Tonight, Lucas Scott was the shadow of his own self. An empty shell. An young body with an old soul, the one that suffered.
'Look, Peyton told me about this morning' she said with a sad smile.
'That's great'
'Lucas, I'm sorry she broke up with you' she said.
'Really, you are'
'Listen, you're my friend and I do care about you. Are you sure you're okay?'
Before he could answer anything, the girls called Brooke name in laughter and giggles. She spun around and saw all their waving towards her. They called her name over and over again. She rolled her eyes and said a quick 'I gotta go' to Lucas and ran toward her friends where she laughed and started back into the party.
Just like the others, she didn't care. She didn't care about Lucas and about nobody else than herself. Peyton didn't care either. She called him in the morning and told him that she was really in love with him but he was not the same anymore. She said that they barely talked anymore and that every time they did, he seemed so distant. She simply said that if he didn't want to open up to her, there was nothing else she could do and she was tired of that situation.
So that was it. She left him. When he needed her the most, she ditched him. How ironic, he thought. At least if I die now, nobody will care about it. Nobody' gonna miss me he thought as he hopped in his car and started it.
He drove for a moment, not really knowing where he was heading. The only thing he knew is that it was too much for him to take. All of this was just…too much and he wanted so bad to just escape it. His life, his problems, everyone that won't seem to just trust him and all the lies and the pain…
He finally drove home and directly went in the bathroom. He opened the pharmacy and searched for anything he could find that would be useful. He found some Advil, toothpaste and anything other that you could need n a bathroom. That wasn't what he was looking for though so he went to his mom's stuff when he remembered that she had buy some antidepressant to get over Keith's death.
He searched for a while until he found the little orange bottle he had been looking for. He clenched his fist around the little bottle and left the house with it. He planned to be ready when he would end all the pain, when he would end his life…
As he drove out of Tree Hill, the pain grew bigger and formed a lump in the pit of his sore stomach. He drove all night until the pain grew unbearable and he had to stop on the side of the road. Tears were falling from his eyes and the lump went into his throat. It hurt so much that he couldn't even breathe. It felt like wearing a too tight shirt or being stuck in a confined space.
Lucas wiped his eyes and relaxed his head on the wheel. He was just so exhausted and he couldn't think of anything anymore. He had to change his mind so he took an album out without really looking and he put it in the CD player. As he relaxed, he listened deeply to the lyrics and his heart became too heavy to carry on, feeling as if it was breaking his back.
He felt empty. Like a shell that had her pearl stolen or an empty space that should've filled with love. The love of the people he cared about but it felt like nobody loved him. Nobody trusted him when he knew just so well that he was right. He decided to call his mom.
'Hello?'
'Mom, it's me'
'Lucas, hi' she said awkwardly.
'You ok?'
'Not really honey'
'Why?'
'I just feel bad for Dan. You know he's done everything since Keith is gone and the only way you found to thank him was to accuse him of murder!'
'Mom, he did it!'
'No Lucas, you're wrong! Dan loved his brother and this girl you saw is just a joke. It's just a trick your mind is playing you, that's why I'm getting you to a counsellor'
'Mom, I'm not crazy! I really saw it!' he cried.
'LUCAS, STOP IT! YOU'RE BECOMING INSANE! You're going to see someone whether you like it or not!'
'I won't…if you make me go, I'm leaving!' he threatened, hoping she'd care enough.
'Then leave! I'm tired of your sick twisted game! You wanna leave, then go!' she spat in the phone.
Silence…
'Fine..' Lucas whispered then the line went dead. Karen angrily hung up and blew some steam off. Dan went by behind as she rubbed her forehead, tears stinging in her eyes. He smiled sadly and wrapped her in a hug.
In another house in Tree Hill, two young love birds were just done having some great fun. Haley rolled on the side of the bed and watched Nathan with wide eyes. He looked at her and they started laughing.
'That was great!' he said.
She nodded with a wide smile and laughed. 'So, about that phone call Lucas gave you…what did he want?'
'I don't know' he said.
'He called you and you didn't even ask him what was up?'
'We were busy'
'You should've asked him! Peyton dumped him this morning. He must be a total wreck!' she said now staring at Nathan with anger and fear in her eyes. She picked the phone back, determined to know what was wrong with Lucas for him to call. A feminine voice told Haley
That the phone of the customer she was trying to join was turned off.
Haley grew worried. Lucas never closed his phone. Even at three in the morning, she could still call him and confide in and he would listen or just tell her to go back asleep as well. The point is that Lucas never closed his cell phone in case someone needed him or anything bad could happen and he wanted to be the first to know.
She dropped the phone on the bed with a worried look in his eyes. Nathan stared at her and shrugged.
'So?'
'His cell phone's off'
'And??'
'Lucas' cell phone is always on' she said.
'You're probably over reacting. I'm sure Lucas is fine'
Lucas was still sitting in his car and the tears were freely falling from his eyes. The pain was eating him from the inside. It all burned so bad. He had to stop it. It had to make it go away. He just wished his head could just shut off and he would stop thinking about all the crap that happened in his life.
Pain.
Anger.
Pain.
Lucas grabbed the bottle he had borrowed to his mom and stared at the little white pills for a second before he finally grabbed the only bottle of liquid he had, the bottle of vodka. He put all the pills in his mouth and washed them down with a half bottle of vodka.
The effect was immediate. He felt light. He was floating over his problems. Then his head became heavy and before he even noticed it, he had started driving again and he was heading somewhere while the stereo blasted in his ears.
I'm sleeping my way out of this one I keep telling myself Sitting out dances on the wall The only thing worse than not knowing
With anyone who will lie down
I'll be stuck fixated on one star
When the world is crashing down
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type
But you've got me looking in through blinds
I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well
Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well on my own
Is you thinking that I don't know
I'm having another episode
I just need a stronger dose
--
So that was it for the first chapter guys. Let me know what you thought. I know, pretty harsh story but I feel outta fluffy stuff. Please review.