Heeeey. Okay I read a fanfic about the Holy Trinity that was written from the girls' perspectives and I thought it was hilarious so I thought I might as well give it a shot here. This is purely humor and in no way shape or form represents my actual writing ability. I hope you guys find it funny. And because gossipssweetlips asked I am once again trying to write the next chapter for BCM Nightly. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy! xxxooo-holly

Hello! It is I, Anna Kendrick! Awkwardly hilarious, socially inappropriate, Oscar nominated, Hollywood sweetheart. Calm down, calm down. I said Oscar nominated. Oscar nominated Hollywood sweetheart. So, you can put down the pitch forks, J-Law enthusiasts, last time I checked her legal name was Oscar Winner Jennifer Shrader Lawrence.

Anyway, what was the whole point of this? Oh right! Bechloe! The ship that you pitch perfect fans sail with an unwavering and unmatched gusto, that if properly focused could most likely keep the United States navy running smoothly. Your obsession and love of Bechloe has led to many a shipper being sent to Bechloe-Aholics Anonymous (AKA BAA (the logo is a sheep, how fucking charming)) in order to recover and be reinstated back into the average, and non-Bechloe-centric, society. And I am here to add fuel to the fire of your burning Bechloe passion. That's right, based solely off a dare from my Pitch Perfect 2 cast mates and nothing else, especially not a hidden desire to write a fanfic of my own, I, Anna Kendrick am going to write a Bechloe Fanfiction.

Are you guys okay? Do you need a few minutes to recuperate? Okay.

Hello! I'm back! I went to Taco Bell and got a burrito while you guys calmed down a little bit. Is everyone good? Breathing has returned to a normal resting rate? Heartbeats are back to normal? Alright, good, I'm glad everyone is peachy.

Without further adieu, I present my masterpiece: The Time The Laws of Physics were Defied- A Sexy Sex story written sexily by the sexy, world renowned, critically acclaimed, mega super star, Anna Eatadick Kendrick.

So once upon a time there were these two girls who were both college students and both decidedly heterosexual. One, the older one, was a preppy senior who was part of an a cappella group and beat the odds by being the only tan ginger with a soul to every grace the face of this earth and her name was Chloe Beale (her last name was never a part of the script, but apparently Kay asked and you guys named her). Now the other girl, Beca Mitchell, was a totally badass, check out my tats and piercings, freshman who was unusually short, pale, and ridiculously clumsy. Like how has she not knocked over a lamp or two already in the time it has taken me to write this introduction? But anyway, she was also a kickass DJ who was above going to college for four years to learn how to be something boring, even though she was attending for completely free of charge.

Now as you may have noticed from the above introduction our two main characters had something so unlikely in common that you're probably wondering how they didn't just immediately fall in love when they were brought together by fate at the activities fair of a small liberal arts college. What could it be some of my slower readers might ask, so I shall go ahead and answer for you-music. (Don't feel ashamed if you didn't guess it right away, in a movie about an all women a cappella group from Georgia the answer could have been a number of things, i.e., love of peaches, both having vaginas, interest in typical southern belle fashion, etc.) Once again, its hard to believe that with this once in a life time, probably never to be seen again, shared passion for music, these two heterosexual females could do anything but fall deeply and madly in love.

But alas, it was not to be. In fact, some might classify their first meeting under the category "disastrous." After all, Chloe's best friend and fellow captain of the Barden Bellas, the stuck up blonde bitch Aubrey Posen had called our delightfully spunky and badass DJ Beca a bitch. And that my friends is not the grandest and easiest path to take towards hot "heterosexual" lesbian sex.

Anyway, despite their near fatal first meeting our young soon-to-be lovers found their way back to each other in the most convenient of places after a month of non-stop thinking about each other day and night. Where was this convenient place you ask? Well, if you have seen my movie then you should know that roughly a month later our two gorgeous main characters met up again in the communal showers of Barden University, where in typical heterosexual fashion Chloe Beale was entertaining the interests of a young man entitled "Tom." Beca, however, seemed to be completely oblivious to the noise of the other shower running in the otherwise empty bathroom whilst she began her own shower while singing the opening lyrics to David Guetta's Titanium.

Her voice was incredible, unmatched, step-aside-Beyoncé-there's-a-new-Queen-B-good.

So of course the attention of the only other music lover in the room was immediately caught by the wonderful melody that Beca was creating. Chloe Beale, with complete disregard to her own nakedness and heterosexuality and of course Beca's as well, left her shower with Tom and traipsed across the cold tile floor of the communal bathroom to the only other occupied shower where the sweet tunes were originating. Ripping back the shower curtain, she came face to ass with the very pale butt of the shortest DJ in all the land, "You can sing!" she excitedly exclaimed in an excited tone of voice while reaching around the shorter girl to turn off the water.

"Dude!" Beca squeaked in surprise, shrinking back into the cold wall to shield her smoking body from the eyes of the girl with the equally smoking, yet decidedly tanner, body. What the hell was this? Do people in college always burst into each others showers? This was not at all what Beca had signed up for. Although the longer she tried to avert her eyes from the ginger in front of her the more she didn't mind so much the fact that she was standing in front of her slowly freezing from the lack of warm water washing over her. What? I thought I was completely and unwaveringly heterosexual. Whatever, sexuality is fluid. And in one quick second Beca Mitchell completely changed the mantra of her entire life.

"How high does your belt go?" Chloe asked, a crazed look in her eyes. Luckily (or unluckily) for Beca, Chloe didn't seem too concerned with checking out the hotness that was standing completely unshielded in front of her.

First of all what the hell is a belt? I'm pretty sure I don't have one because I am NAKED. Look at me. What? No. Don't. Instead she settled in playing her normal awkward card, "My what? Oh my God!" So our two main characters' second meeting was turning into a less clothed, but equally disastrous disaster.

"You have to audition for the Bellas!"

"I can't concentrate on anything you're saying until you cover your junk," Beca stammered, nervously, trying to avoid the thoughts that were running through her head about the ginger's junk that were enabling her completely useless at holding a conversation.

"Just consider it. One time we sang backup for Prince. His butt is so tiny that I can hold it with like one hand. Oops!" Of course, because she was the clumsiest of the clumsy Chloe knocked her hand and made her dropped her shampoo, as she bent down to pick it up she found her self face to face with Chloe's...um...cooter.

"Seriously. I am nude." Beca gasped while trying to regain control of being a normal functioning human being.

"You were singing Titanium right?"

"You know David Guetta?" Oh now it was over. Because this ginger woman who had burst into her shower without introduction knew David Guetta, Beca Mitchell was a goner. That's right, now because of their shared love for music, which once again was completely incidental, Beca Mitchell found herself head over heels in love with this woman even though up to that point in her life she had never loved another woman. Well, there's a first for everything.

"Have I been living under a rock? Yeah. That song is my jam." Chloe leaned forward and Beca couldn't help but want to lean forward too, and then the red head added, "My lady-jam." Oh god.

"That's nice." Beca responded as awkwardly as possible.

"It is. That song really builds." She did not just tell me what gets her off? I have never been more unexplainably attracted to a more crass human being in my life. I must have her now.

Instead of having her "right now" the brunette gulped out a "gross" before turning away from the red head again.

"Can you sing it for me?" Yes. Yes! a million times, yes!

"Dude, no. Get out!" She heard herself saying.

"Not for that reason. I'm not leaving here till you sing. So..." Thank you dear Lord. There must be a God out there somewhere. Thank you! Although if God hates gay people...either way, thank you!

So after what Chloe thought was her being very convincing, but was in fact just Beca being very horny, the brunette began to sing. And once again the heavens opened and the angels watched in awe as the tiny brunette graced the world with the talent of her vocal chords. Man, there was nothing quite like it and then Chloe joined in and for a second Beca thought to herself that if it was possible to make tiny music babies the two of them had successfully done it. No. Not the ityou want them to do. Not yet. Patience, grasshopper. (Wow, I feel like a pervert against myself.)

The two ended singing, their eyes locked in what Beca hoped was true love. For a fraction of a second she allowed her eyes to trail down Chloe's body before they darted to the ceiling again. "Yeah. I'm pretty confident about all this," she motioned to her body with a smirk.

"You should be," Beca answered, "I still need to shower."

Just then the boy "Tom" rounded the corner with a smile on his face, "You have a lovely voice."

"Thanks," Beca answered in shock that yet another person was in her shower.

"She's got even better tits, am I right?" Chloe said nodding her head to the shorter girls body. Tom nodded along. "Alright, Tom, you can go now. beca and I are about to have sex or something." The boy nodded his head and then turned around to leave just like that. "okay, lets do this, DJ." And without warning she snapped the curtain shut and advanced on the other girl, completely forgetting her own heterosexuality once and for all.

The whole night the two girls made hot love for hours and hours and hours. neither of them having had a lesbian experience before, but they both seemed to be well aware of what they were doing. And just when the sun came up and other residents of Baker Hall started to come into the showers, the girls got dressed and Beca carried her much larger lover down the hall to her room where despite the fact that Kimmy Jin was there they continued to make sweet love until she left them. (See that was the part where physics were defied because let's face the facts, there's no way I can carry Brittany Snow any amount of distance.) (Also the sex for hours and hours. I'm resilient, but come on I'm being very generous.)

The day turned to night and the night to day and still the girls made love. "Wow, being a lesbian is fun," Chloe commented.

"I'm not a lesbian," Beca said.

"Neither am I," Chloe responded. "But this bitch writing this story is making us do this to please the fans...so, whatever."

The End.

And that concludes my dabbling in the writing of fanfiction. I hope one day Kay will consider the great master piece that I, Anna Eatadick Kendrick, have thrust (get it thrust...its a pun) into this fandom and create an award winning script for it in the porno business. I of course, shall not be playing Beca, but I shan't speak for Brittany. Thank you to the loyal fans of pitch Perfect. I love you all forever and ever.