Poe Dameron wasn't used to silence. Ever since he was a kid, he spent his days at the Resistance base, ever-bustling with activity. Even at six-years-old, he liked to admire the ships while being overwhelmed by so many sounds, from barked orders to marching soldiers. After his training had started, he spent all his time with his fellow pilots, talking and telling stories and laughing at nothing in particular. Then the battles had begun, with the shouts of his comrades and the pew-pews of the blasters filling his ears.
He'd had the most terrible day; his X-Wing had gone down and he'd had to jump ship in a parachute, he'd been captured by Stormtroopers until a friend of his saved his skin before dying in the process – just this thought made his heart press painfully against his chest – and BB-8 had disappeared. He'd gone into this abandoned town in the middle of the Naboo forest completely by accident, but found himself not wanting to leave, like something was pulling at him to stay.
Now he was surrounded by silence, standing in front of an orphanage.
A portion of the wall had been destroyed and there was nothing of the front but some rubble on the floor. Poe wondered when the place had been deserted, but it didn't seem like that long ago. He could almost hear the panicked shrieks and terrified screams of the civilians being evacuated. Almost.
The Resistance pilot jumped when he heard the familiar sound of his BB unit, coming from inside the blasted building. He looked around to see if any First Order trooper was there, swallowed and followed his buddy's screeches. He marched down what used to be a long hallway that was now lined with holes into a foyer. BB-8 beeped louder when he stopped next to his astromech droid, which was rolling next to a pile of broken rocks that used to be part of the wall.
"Hey there, buddy. What have you got there?"
BB-8 pushed some dirt with its round body. Poe got the message instantly. He pushed away some of the wall and found what – or more accurately, whom –his droid had been screaming about. A female Twi'lek with deep green skin had been almost buried under it, her body crouched around white turned grey blankets. He checked her pulse, faint, but he could feel it, and tried to shake her awake.
"Ma'am? Ma'am! You have to wake up. I'm getting you out of here!"
Her whole body tensed when she inhaled sharply. She rolled on her back, the bundle of blankets clutched to her chest.
"They didn't want to take her, so I stayed," she whispered in raspy breaths. "Miss Abolfiri said she was doomed to never be adopted, that we'd never be able to take care of her. Poor darling, she doesn't even have a name yet… it's too late for me, but not for her. Take her!"
Poe picked up the dirtied white blankets and took a peek at a young baby, too young to be in this destroyed place. He knew it wasn't possible for him to fall in romantic love ever since he was a teenager – not that he would want anything to do with that sort of thing –, something that had been said weird because most pilots started training either for the glory or for the girls who liked men in uniforms, rarely for the cause like he did. Therefore, he was surprised when he felt a gasp leave his lips at seeing the golden brown head, topped with a mop of black curls, of the sleeping infant. He remembered that paternity had been what he'd wanted before starting his training, before he'd been told adoption wasn't something the Resistance did and he'd had to produce an heir if he wanted one. When familial bonds had been denied to people like him, who didn't want to get married.
"I'll take good care of her. Thank you."
"No."
Her trembling hand wrapped around his arm and he gazed in her eyes.
"Thank you."
Her eyeballs rolled in her head and her body fell limp. Poe checked her pulse in a desperate attempt to see if she was still alive, then solemnly closed her eyelids. With a sigh, he rose up, put the baby next to BB-8 on the floor and started to look around the orphanage. He found wood and a few matches in the basement, the former which he spread in front of the orphanage. He went back inside, carried the Twi-lek's body and settled it down on the wooden bed. He lit the match and, according to Naboo customs, cremated the body within two days after the death.
The pilot ran back to the foyer, where the baby was still sleeping. With his buddy BB-8 on his heels, Poe jogged out of the orphanage, where the pyre was now at its strongest. He was about to make it back to the trees when a familiar sound came from high above.
A Resistance X-Wing.
"Hey! Hey! Here, I'm here!"
He screamed at the top of his lungs with an arm raised in the air and, surprisingly, did not manage to wake up the baby. Which was strange in itself, but he didn't take time to worry about such things. Poe was too relieved that the ship stopped to hover a few feet above him, and the glass top opened to reveal one of his squadron friends, Jessika Pava.
"You know," she said over the sound of her ship's engines, "someone else could've found you with all that smoke. You're lucky it was me!"
"Figured as much! Do you know where my ride crashed?"
Jess nodded and lowered her ship until she was at a perfect height to speak to him freely, without having to scream.
"Yeah, right out there in the woods. Follow my ship and I'll guide you there."
Not more than ten minutes later, Poe was already mounting his trusted T-70 X-Wing fighter, with BB-8 at the back. He put on his helmet – which, like the ship, hadn't been destroyed upon landing as he had feared – and heard his friend's familiar voice fill his ears. The pilot clutched the baby girl to his chest and started the engine. Thank the Force, everything was still working.
"So, I don't want to stress you about it but… what're you doing with a baby?"
"I found her at an orphanage. Everyone else is dead. That's the gist of it."
"Oh. We'll have to find her a family. Hyperdrive?"
"Ready when you are."
#
Poe looked up when the medical droid's voice called his name. His bones protested when he rose up from his uncomfortable position on the miserable piece of plastic that had been his chair for the last… he wasn't sure how long. The young pilot sent a look at the watch in his hands. He'd been sitting there for almost five hours straight. Still, he was all ears when the robot started to talk.
"Your eight month-old baby's almost in perfect health. All her vitals are fine."
"What is 'almost' fine, then?"
"Poe!"
He turned to see his father walk up at his usual rapid pace down the hall. Poe's eyebrows reached his hairline. Kes Dameron was rarely there at the base at the same time as his son, with their complicated schedules. To see him there was surprising, to say the least.
"I heard you were here at the same time I was, so I decided to come say hi. How are you? Were you hurt in your last mission? Is that why you're here?"
"Um, well… I'm… Dad, I have to tell you something."
Poe sent a look at the droid, then back at his father.
"I have a baby. It's not what you think! I…"
A light appeared in Poe's father's eyes and his son bit his lip, waiting for the dreaded words to pool out of his mouth, as they usually did. He didn't have to wait much because Kes almost immediately said:
"Poe, that's wonderful news! I knew you'd fall for someone, some day! Who's the lucky girl? I bet it's Jess. You let your girlfriend go on the battlefield while pregnant? Wow, even your mother didn't want to do that! What a brave girl!"
"No, it's not like that. I found her, the baby. On Naboo. She was an orphan."
"… Oh. I'm sorry… don't worry, you just…"
"… Haven't found the right person yet, you told me that a thousand times."
Poe nodded in the awkward silence that followed. It was always like that with his father; why was he surprised? He probably shouldn't have expected better; his father had associated his aromanticism and asexuality with a "phase", after all. He contained a sigh that formed in his throat then turned to the medical droid.
"So, tell me. What is it with her health?"
"She is visually impaired and suffers from hearing loss, sir."
"Sorry?"
"She's blind and deaf," answered his father.
Poe's heart twisted painfully in his chest. So that was why the Twi'lek had told him no one wanted her; because of her disability. No one had wanted this beautiful child because she had a "hard" life ahead of her. How ridiculous. His jaw set and his determined eyes glared. Luckily for that baby, he wasn't one to give up after getting invested. He was the same in piloting as he was in life: unafraid of toil. Poe Dameron was the kind of guy who did not give up on you.
"Okay. There are surgeries to help her, right?"
"Yes, but I advise that you wait until she's at least a year old for her eyes. Then wait a few more months for recovery, and we will give her cochlear implants. I have estimated we can give her about sixty-five percent of her eyesight back, the rest will be taken care of by special glasses. She'll be able to see as good as new. As for her ears, we can give her eighty-percent of her hearing back. And with technological advancements in the coming years, I'm sure we can improve that number to a hundred percent. "
"Strange how in a society where prosthetic limbs can be given almost for free, that hearing and eye surgeries don't work more."
"Dad…"
"I know. Sorry."
"Four months it is, then. Can I… Can I get in and hold her?"
"Yes, of course. We are done."
With a glance at his father, Poe walked inside the medical center's bright room. He gently picked up the sleeping infant from the metal table, wrapped in hastily-made clothes from a sheet with the Resistance insignia on it, and sat in the rocking chair that had been put in the corner. Poe thought he heard his father say something but he was too concentrated on the child in his arms.
The pilot thought he was doing everything right… until the baby woke up.
That's when the screaming began.
Poe had no idea what to do. One minute she was sleeping, the next his girl had started evacuating this never-ending cry and moving her tiny body like an angry snake in her pajamas. His heartbeat picked up; he was on the verge of panicking. The nerve of him to think he could take care of a baby, even more one so young. He had no experience whatsoever. Maybe he was doing something wrong. Maybe she needed a real father, someone who had already taken care of a child before. He looked around to see if anyone was there to help but his father and even the medical droids had left, the former to get a good night's sleep and the latter to take care of another patient, possibly. The baby screamed her throat sore, probably from the fact these arms in which she was held were unfamiliar to her.
"Beep, beep, boop! Beep, boop!"
Poe's gaze found BB-8, standing on the doorstep. A sigh of relief filled him when it rolled to his side. This was his buddy's way to tell him it was there for him, no matter what. Sometimes, the Resistance ace pilot had the impression it was somehow alive and understood him like no one else. Some would say that was stupid, because it was just a robot. But they didn't know BB-8 like he did.
"Hey, there, my buddy," he said over the sounds of the screaming baby. "You came to see the happy family we make?"
A thought flashed in his mind. A happy family. It reminded him of his mother, and how well she had taken care of him, even between missions. He also remembered something from his childhood, a lullaby she had once sang to him.
This baby couldn't hear a song, but she could feel it.
"All right. Here goes nothing."
He put the little body further up his torso, where her head rested under his chin, against his vocal cords. He didn't mind the kicking of her tiny feet inside her pajamas, though they beat against his chest. Poe took a sharp breath and started to mumble the song, singing the lyrics as much as he could remember. And as he sang, they came back to him and he could finally tell the full lullaby. My Star.
"My star keeps me company, and leads me through the night.
My star watches over me, and fills my dreams with light.
Some things change, but some things shine forever as they are.
In the sky, shining high... my star."
He continued to sing and his song somehow transformed from a lullaby to a military tune he had heard countless of times in the Resistance base, to a sad love song from the forgotten times his father had been courting his mother, titled Never Had. BB-8 accompanied him, beeping at just the right time.
Once, a medical droid came to show him how to change her diaper, and went away as soon as it was done, like it was afraid of the infant. Poe changed the child on the metal table in the middle of the room then took back his place in his chair. He never stopped singing. As time passed, seconds, minutes or hours, it mattered little to him, the baby cradled on his chest slowly calmed down. The vibrations in his throat forming the words seemed to work in soothing her tantrum.
Her screams stopped, her kicks ceased and her breath evened out. He continued for a moment and finally finished his song. He'd sung himself hoarse. Poe sighed through his nose and looked at his watch. It was almost two in the morning, and he'd spent his first night in a long time at the base sitting in uncomfortable chairs, waiting until things became different. Maybe that was a father's job.
"You sing wonderfully, Poe," said a voice.
He looked up and his eyes widened. Standing there was none other than General Leia Organa, whose eyes were fixed upon the baby in his arms. The twenty-five years old made a move to get up, but she stopped him with a stare.
"Don't, you'll wake her up. And we wouldn't want that."
"No, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am."
A smile stretched on the elder woman's face, and she continued:
"You reminded me of my ex-husband and our child, sitting there, singing a lullaby. Those days are long gone, but you've just made me remember how pleasant they were. And for that, I'd like to thank you."
"You're welcome."
It was her time to sigh through her nose. She grabbed a chair from the hallway and sat a few feet away, in front of him. A moment filled with silence followed, and they watched the baby's body move as she breathed.
"Poe…"
"I know, ma'am," he answered as he set down the girl in his lap. "I can't keep her; adoption isn't something we do. I'm well aware of that. Keeping children isn't really something the Resistance does; I was a pretty lucky kid raised by two wonderful parents born at just the right time to end up here. Every time I go on a mission, there's a chance I won't come back. I'm going to find her a good family… I'm just scared no one will want her…"
"Forget finding her a family. I spent an hour watching you sing this baby to sleep. I think you deserve to keep her like any father deserves to keep their child."
"I… Really?"
"Yes, of course. Don't underestimate yourself, you're more talented than you think. Most people your age would've given up a long, long time ago. As for your missions… we can always find your daughter a babysitter for when you're gone. How about BB-8 over there?"
The droid beeped excitedly, rolling forward and backward in some sort of secret dance, and they both smiled. They gazed at it for a while before the General finally rose up and went to put her chair outside. She came back inside. Poe decided to talk first.
"I wanted to name her Breha. Like your mother."
Leia Organa froze. He kept on going.
"At first, I thought about Shara, like my own mother, but then I dropped that idea. I didn't want to put that pressure on her, as she's going to grow up around the base. Around people who knew my mom. Then I thought how I'd found her on Naboo, maybe a name from that culture. Padmé crossed my mind; I don't know when I heard it, and I wasn't sure..."
"After Padmé Amidala, Queen and Senator of Naboo?"
The full name now reminded him of his History classes and he nodded. Yes, it was the woman he had wanted to talk about… but there was something in the way General Organa had spoken that indicated she wasn't just talking about this important political figure of the Clone Wars.
"… You know of her? Other than the History books?"
"Yes, I do. But… that's a story for another time. Continue."
"Then… Then I thought about you, my role model since I was just a child. And your mother's name is a particularly pretty one, and it wouldn't put too much weight on her shoulders that she has it."
"You really want to name her after Alderaan's Queen?"
"I wouldn't want to name her otherwise."
The General nodded.
"I give you permission to call her that, if you need my blessing. Now hurry on, Pilot Dameron. I'll show you your new living quarters. You can't sleep in a dorm anymore, don't you think? Oh, and that room has a crib for baby Breha, of course. One last thing. You're on paternity leave until your daughter is accustomed to this place… after her eyes surgery."
Poe sent a look at the baby and smiled. He slowly rose up and made it to the room at the end of a long hallway without waking up his daughter. His daughter. It still sounded surreal, even in his own mind. He was going to be a father – be permitted to be one. As soon as the General closed the door behind her, he put Breha in her crib and collapsed on the bed. Still, he couldn't sleep.
The pilot found a book about taking care of babies sitting on his bedside table. Without further ado, he opened the lamp next to it, placed his pillows vertically so that he could put his back against the headboard without finding it uncomfortable, and started to read. He needed to do his research, and he needed to do it well. He was going to need it.
#
Poe jumped out of his X-Wing as soon as it had stabilized on the runway. He didn't even wait for one of his comrades to pat him on the back, as custom after a mission. He jogged his way through the base, his heart pounding in his chest, with BB-8 on his heels. He finally made it to the medical center where his daughter Breha, now two-years old, had just had her last surgery. The one that would make her able to hear, not unlike the one that had made it possible for her to see.
"How is she?" he asked the medical droid.
"Perfectly fine. She has just awoken. Would you like to…?"
"Yes, I'd like to."
The droid led him down a narrow corridor to his daughter's bedroom. He stopped at the door to catch his breath and brush the sweat from his brow. He hadn't been there in the last few weeks because of his missions, but now he was off duty for a while and could stay with her. And he'd be there to go through this new ordeal with Breha. The pilot took a deep breath and knocked.
"Come in," said a robotic voice.
Poe pushed the door and felt a wide smile creep its way on his face. He slowly walked in the bedroom to the hospital bed where Breha was seated. He knew he was the proudest father as he looked at his bundle of joy with her round purple glasses circling her black eyes. Her hair had been brushed into a braid and was flattened on the head, probably from bandages which used to be wrapped there. Her brown skin was glowing in the light of the lamp, glowing as much as her smile. Even after all those surgeries, she was still the happiest girl in the base.
"Dada!" she exclaimed.
She reached at him with her arms but stopped moving mid-way. She put a hand to her ear and giggled. Her smile grew, which he didn't think was actually possible. He got prepared to her reaction when he'd start talking.
"Hi, my darling. How do you feel?"
Breha's mouth opened and her wide expressive eyes stared into his. Poe wasn't sure if he had said the right thing. The medical droid at his right encouraged the pilot to keep on talking to his little girl.
And so, he did.
"I know I am feeling better ever since I've arrived. BB-8's great, too. He followed me here. Do you want to hear the way he sounds? Maybe…"
Poe stopped talking as soon as his daughter burst in tears. His heart sank but a look at the medical droid told him this was normal. He was by her side in three steps and sat on the bed. He slowly rubbed her back with his hand.
"Are you okay? Do you feel pain somewhere? Anywhere?"
"No! I can hear you talk!"
He smiled at that and wrapped his daughter around his chest in a big bear hug. She was getting better at talking, and he knew it would only increase, just like she had gotten better at walking when she'd had her eyes surgery. He still remembered that first night spent with her under his chin while she cried her eyes out. Time flied, it wasn't just clichéd; it was true.
There was something from that night he wanted her to hear, too.
"My star keeps me company, and leads me through the night.
My star watches over me, and fills my dreams with light.
Some things change, but some things shine forever as they are.
In the sky, shining high... my star."
"You like the sound of my voice when I sing? he asked.
"Yeah! I do!"
They stayed like that for a few minutes, with father singing and daughter listening, until BB-8's robotic voice reached them. A long gasp left Breha's lips and she sat on the bed to stare at the little astromech droid that had previously rolled inside the medical center room.
"BB-8! I hear you!"
The droid excitedly beeped while it rolled around, as if it didn't know what to do with itself. Poe chuckled at the sight and Breha looked at him with the widest eyes, accentuated by her glasses.
"I like your laugh, Dada!"
Poe felt a tear reach his eye: from fatigue, from pride, a bit of both. He grabbed his daughter, raised her shirt above her belly and blew a raspberry. Her giggles echoed in his ears and yes, the young man could say he was unashamedly happy at the sound. Every time he was with Breha, he couldn't help but think he'd never been happier in his life, each time a bit more. The medical droid made its presence known once he stopped, though.
"Sir, young Breha needs some rest. She'll stay here tonight and, if everything is fine, will be able to leave in the morning."
"Don't leave."
She wrapped her arms around him and Poe bit his lip. He did his best to keep a straight face as he answered:
"I know you want me to stay, darling, but I really have to go. I'll see you in the morning, like Mr. Droid asks. You need to rest, he's right. And I need to take a shower. You wouldn't want your father to smell like a Sintaril, now, would you?"
"What's a Sintaril?"
"A big, big rat! I really got to take you to Yavin IV, where I was born."
"Oh. Okay."
It was always hard for Poe to leave his daughter behind, even more when he'd been absent because of his missions for the Resistance. He felt like every time he would walk out the door, Breha could disappear and he'd never see her again. A stupid thought, really, but he couldn't help it.
That was how he ended up sneaking out of his bedroom in the middle of the night, with a heavy blanket enveloped around his pajama-clad body. He had only taken one drink with his friends, a tradition after a victory, until he'd crawled to his room and was back out. He could hear the other pilots celebrating not so far away from there. He silently opened his daughter's bedroom door and closed it. Exhaustion finally getting the best of him, he basically fell on the floor. He reached over the tall bed and Breha, in her sleep, wrapped a tiny hand around his finger.
#
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Poe frowned at his father's reflection in the mirror. He was in the process of tying his grey tie, and it was about the tenth time Kes Dameron had asked that question in the last oh, twenty minutes. When he was done with the tie, he ran a hand in his hair and wished he'd had the time to cut them or at least shave the three-day beard that was eating at his jaw.
Oh well. He really didn't have the time to do that. He could've done it earlier, but he'd gotten home yesterday before dinner from his latest mission, had eaten with his daughter and the other pilots, and had promptly collapsed on his bed to get a wonderful twelve-hour sleep. He attached his hair in a bun behind his head and answered his father.
"Yes, Dad. I really am sure."
"Because, you know…"
Poe turned around and crossed his arms on his chest, but he was still smiling. His father would always remain protective of him, and now that he knew what it was like to be a paternal figure in a kid's life, he understood the sentiment.
"Honestly, Dad. I've dealt with countless Stormtroopers before. I think I can handle myself with a bunch of kids sitting in a classroom. Plus, I won't be alone; I'm bringing BB-8 with me."
"I know that. I'm a bit more concerned about their parents. You know, some people in town don't think nicely of us. They keep their mouth shut because we pay them to, plus they don't know exactly where the Base is, but they think we should surrender to the First Order. That this war we fight is stupid. Everybody moved there after the Galactic Civil War, but the eldest know what it was to live under the Empire… and most complied well with that lifestyle."
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I can handle myself. But… thank you for caring."
They nodded at each other. Poe put his comlink in his black suit's pocket, grabbed his helmet on the bedside table and walked to the door. Just as he was about to get outside, his father's voice, suspiciously mischievous, reached his ears.
"Plus, I've heard that Miss Alsbur likes you a lot."
Poe put a hand on the doorjamb and took in a deep, long breath. Of course this was going to be mentioned by his father. Every once in a while, he liked to drop "subtle" hints that it was somehow unhealthy that Breha was growing up without a female figure in her life. As if Jess, who absolutely adored his sweet little girl, wasn't already an aunt to her, as well as her godmother. And the hints seemed to have only increased ever since the man's son had reached the age of thirty.
"I'll see you later, Dad."
Poe closed the door. His anger at his father's behavior receded as he walked away from his bedroom. He exhaled a breath when he arrived on the takeoff runway, near his ship. BB-8 squealed when he walked past him and followed on his heels. They made it at the edge of the base and found the speeder Poe had parked earlier, near the trees. He attached his droid at the rear and smiled when it beeped happily. He put a hand on its head and gazed in its expressive eye.
"Ready for a ride, buddy?"
BB-8 nodded. They made it to the village in twenty minutes. It was a small thing, with a few houses sprouting from the forest floor, a marketplace and a fire pit in the central plaza. The biggest building was the school, of course, behind the circle of houses. It contained a few dozen kids from one or two villages in the area, all taught by one teacher. Even though the residents were used to seeing people ride to and out of town, he still got a few stares. Some at BB-8, some at him.
Poe gulped as he parked his speeder in front of the school.
"All right, buddy. Let me get you free…"
Most of the times, it was his father who drove his daughter to school, morning and night. Other times, one of his fellow pilots came, with a word from the Dameron patriarch that it was okay for them to leave with Breha. On rare occasions, he was the one to pick her up, and he was always unnerved by the stares he got from Miss Alsbur. They always made his skin crawl.
Poe removed his helmet, put it on the speeder and made sure his bun hadn't been completely destroyed by the ride. And it had. He redid his hair and straightened his suit. His daughter would kill him if he wasn't presentable on the first day he was going to meet her fellow classmates. Finally, with his helmet under his arm, he pushed the door open and walked inside.
There was only one narrow hallway that led to the single classroom. Chairs had been lined on one wall, and on them some parents were already seated. The young pilot sat down next to a human couple, a man and a woman who must've both been in their forties and were holding hands. Many openings on the other wall served as windows and offered a wonderful view of the forest. They kept the hallway sunny, light and filled with a little breeze that was pleasant in this warm weather. Poe desperately tried to remove the nervous uneasiness in his belly by swallowing and taking deep breaths, but it didn't really work.
"So… you're a Resistance pilot, aren't you?"
Poe looked at the elder man on his right, who was gazing at him with something that looked like condescension. He had to refrain from biting his lip. BB-8 touched his foot, and he knew his trusted buddy was there if he needed anything.
"Yes, sir," he answered.
"And you think it's proper to raise a child in such an environment?"
"Winston!" tried to shush him the woman.
"I'm having a civil conversation with the man, Sonya."
"You're embarrassing me, that's what you're doing," she mumbled.
Poe tried not the smile at the poor woman's efforts to keep her partner from going on that specific subject. Still, he had to give the man an answer, and as his mother had once said, the truest answer was always the best.
"I know it's not ideal, but we manage. So yes, I do think it is."
"And you're… high in their ranks?"
The pilot sent the man a look. It was clear from the gleam in his eyes that he was expecting him to answer with something like: "Oh, well, not really, sir. I'm just trying to earn a paycheck to make us survive." Which wasn't true, but Poe absolutely hated bragging about his position. Humbleness was something his parents had taught him well. And even this time, he wasn't sure if talking about it to a stranger, even to shut him up, was a good thing, so he was hesitant to do so.
That was until he heard applause coming from the classroom. The kids' teacher appeared in the doorway and gestured at Poe to come; they had apparently already reached the letter D in the alphabetical order in which the children's parents were to come. He nodded and, as he rose up, turned to the man.
"I am Princess-General Leia Organa's best pilot, sir. Have a good day."
He marched away and heard BB-8 follow him, his tiny body rolling on the wooden floor. Poe stopped at the doorway, put on a smile and turned to his droid friend. In a whisper, he said:
"Stay there. I'll call you later."
He sent a look at the man, who was sitting there with his eyebrows raised so that they almost reached his hairline. His partner was trying her best not to laugh. With the smile now glued to his face, Poe stepped through the doorway and waved at the crowd. He winked at Breha, who was sitting at the fourth row.
"Hello! Hi. My name is Poe, Poe Dameron. I'm Breha's father."
"And whatcha doing for a living, Poe? asked a voice.
He looked on his left to see a human child sitting right next to his daughter. From the familiar mop of blond hair, pale white skin and the long nose, he had the suspicion he was the couple's child, and maybe a few years older than his girl. Probably nothing more than eight. The Rodian kid sitting next to him fist-bumped him with a chuckle. His friend had spat out his name like it was a slur.
With his smile still on, Poe answered.
"Well, as you can see from this helmet, I'm a pilot. Would you mind passing it around, sweetheart? Thank you."
The human girl in the front row, closest to the door, smiled at him with all her teeth and observed the helmet with much attention. Then, she gave it to the Twi-lek boy behind her. The pilot continued:
"I work at the base out there in the woods. Has anyone heard of it?"
A few kids raised their hands. He pointed at a human boy, who replied:
"I have. My parents talk about it sometimes. But it's secret, right?"
"Yes. Big secret. Unfortunately for you, well, it's so secret that I can't talk much about what I do there. I can tell you that we are working for the New Republic and help in keeping the galaxy at peace, kind of like some sort of police if you will, that I work under General Leia Organa... Yes, the War veteran! Exactly. She's wonderful. And that I ride a T-70 X-Wing fighter. Any questions?"
A few raised their hands, and he pointed at a Togruta girl in the corner.
"My father is a mechanic, and he told me that that kind of starship needed a droid to pilot efficiently. Do you have one?"
"I'm glad you asked! For those who don't know, what she said is true. I wouldn't be able to drive my ship alone, and I'm thankful because it makes the rides so enjoyable. I have an astromech droid, a BB unit, whose really one of a kind. You'll see why in a second, because… he comes my little buddy, BB-8!"
Gasps and excited shouts erupted all around when the droid rolled in the room. Poe gave everyone permission to rise up and come see their new friend, as long as they didn't rip it to pieces. At that, BB-8 sent him a look, but he winked back. All the students rose up from their seats and gathered in a crowd to have a look at the white, grey and orange astromech droid.
"So, Mr. Dameron," he heard from behind him.
Poe turned around to see Miss Alsbur standing there, next to him. Everyone was so busy with BB-8, they had completely forgotten about him. And that meant their teacher had the freedom to talk to him.
"Yes, Miss Alsbur?"
"How many times have I told you to call me Kathia?"
"Yes, sorry, right. Kathia."
"Breha was ecstatic when she told me that you were going to be there today to talk to the class. Because you're a pilot… you probably don't have a lot of free time, don't you? A man under General Organa mustn't be the kind of guy to… go out for a drink with… friends, right?"
The pilot swallowed uncomfortably. He really hated the way she looked at him, and honestly, he also hated that he had no other choice but to rebuff her. Poe didn't like not being nice to people, it just wasn't something he enjoyed doing. But he also didn't enjoy being thought of in that kind of way, and didn't want to seem like he was leading her on by accepting her invitation.
"I prefer not to go out of the base too often. If I'm called for an emergency, it's better if I'm close by. And, um… I like drinks, but I always only take them with my colleagues. I don't drink often, for Breha's sake and mine. I can't take the risk of having a hangover, you see. So, um… sorry about that."
"No, it's fine," but she answered in a way that really said it wasn't.
With guilt filling his stomach, Poe turned to the crowd and called:
"All right everyone. Leave it a bit of room to breathe… in a manner of speech. Please, go back to your seats and I'll explain to you how BB-8 works."
Some groaned, but they all obeyed. Breha was positively beaming with pride when she took back her seat. Her father was about to speak again when the comlink in his pocket vibrated. He turned to Miss Alsbur.
"If you'll excuse me…"
He got the comlink out and quickly made it to the door. Poe closed it and walked outside of the school altogether, as far away from the spying parents as possible. He answered the call by whispering to the communication device:
"Poe Dameron here. What is it?"
"I know I didn't want you to come at the base for another hour or so," replied the General herself, "but we have news over my brother's location. I'm sorry, Poe, but you'll have to come back right now."
"Oh. Yeah. Got it. I'll be right there."
The conversation ended and Poe walked back inside, past the hallway and down to the middle of the space at the front of the room, where he had been standing a minute earlier. He clasped his hands together and, maybe in a more tensed voice than he wanted, said:
"Sorry, folks. I'm going to have to leave earlier than expected. Duty calls. Can you give me back my helmet please? Yeah you. Thanks a lot."
"You have to go already, Dada?" asked Breha, sounding dismayed.
"She called him Dada!" repeated the boy from earlier, trying his hardest not to laugh, without succeeding at all.
Poe's eyes stared at the boy and his jaw set. Before he had to go, there was still something that needed to be done. That kid definitely needed to be set in his place, and needed to learn that nobody laughed at or about his precious daughter Breha, or at any of her friends if it ended being so. Not on his watch.
And so, the pilot walked with a determined stride to the boy's desk. He put his helmet on it, which made the kid jump. A small smile appeared on the man's face and he winked at him, to show that he wasn't threatening.
"Hi, there. What's your name, son?"
"Leon Vynn. You can call me Leo if you want."
"All right. You know what that helmet means, Leo?"
The kid's eyes half-closed as he looked up suspiciously at the adult. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms on his chest, but still answered. There was something in his voice that told Poe he was unsure what to expect.
"It means you're a pilot… sir."
"That's not what I meant. I meant what it symbolizes, what it stands for. You see, a pilot can't leave base alone, they need a crew. Look at BB-8 over there. He's my co-pilot. But bigger ships might need a few people, and even bigger ones than that sometimes more than a hundred people, to function properly. That's what I call a team. Do you know what being on a team means?"
"You have to… cooperate. And communicate."
Poe nodded and his smile slightly grew at the corners.
"Exactly. You're a bright kid, Leo! A lot of people don't even know that."
The look on Leon's face was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. A light appeared in his eyes at the compliment. Poe had to stop himself from raising an eyebrow. That child definitely needed some parental support in his life.
"Cooperation and communication. Those are important. But what comes with both those things? After you've been on a team for a while, you develop a friendship. And with that friendship comes respect. Am I right?"
"Yes, sir."
Leon was all ears now.
"Look at this classroom," he continued while gesturing at the other seats, in which the children were gazing at him. "You spend a lot of time in this place, with these people. You all sit together to listen to Miss Alsbur, and when you're in recess, you're with the others. You know, kind of like a ship's crew. Kind of like…"
"A team!"
"Yeah, you got it! And what did I just tell you about team dynamics?"
"That respect is important."
"Very important. It's probably the most important thing you'll ever learn in life, better start early. So, you know, the way you've said my name when I came in, or the way you just mocked my daughter Breha for calling what she's always called me... You probably wouldn't have laughed if she had just said "Daddy" or "Papa", but that's pretty much the same thing. See what I mean? That wasn't really respectful of you to say that."
"Yeah…"
The boy looked at the table in front of him, his brow furrowed. Then, he gazed up again and, looking pretty sheepish, said:
"I'm sorry, Mr. Dameron. I shouldn't have been so mean."
"Leon? You're really apologizing?"
Poe looked at Kathia Alsbur and gave her a small smile. Apparently, it was the first time that child had ever said "sorry". He looked back at Leo and wasn't surprised to see him look at Breha.
"I'm sorry too, Breha. I shouldn't have laughed."
"It's okay. Thanks for saying that."
He turned to her father. The look on his face was beautiful when he asked:
"Do you forgive me, sir?"
"Of course, Leo. You're a good kid; you just need a little push in the right direction. I was the same at your age."
Poe put his helmet under his arm and walked back to the front of the class. With a mock curtsey, he wished them all a good day. Applause erupted, more than the polite, half-hearted attempt he had heard earlier, when he was talking to the duo in the hallway. He sent a wink at his daughter, who replied in the same way, and another at Leon. With BB-8 on his heels, he walked out of the classroom. As he marched down the hallway towards the door, he heard a fragment of a conversation between the man and woman he'd talk to upon arrival.
"Was that our son? He apologized! Winston, d'you know what that means?"
"Yeah. He said… a lil' push in the right direction, huh? Guess that's what we're going to do in the future. I shouldn't have said those things to that young man earlier. He's a good kid. Poe Dameron. Gotta remember that name."
The aforementioned Poe Dameron walked out of that little school with a wide smile on his face. It followed him as he tied BB-8 to his speeder, went back to the base and until he let his droid free. He only lost it to a concentrated frown when he arrived in front of General Leia Organa. Duty called.
#
It was official: Poe hated sand.
The now thirty-two years old Resistance pilot had walked for miles and hadn't seen any form of civilization. To make things worse, Jakku's bright, insanely hot sun was almost touching the horizon. Soon, it would be the night. On top of that, the thought of his buddy BB-8 and his new friend Finn walking around somewhere, out there, lost and prey to the First Order. The thought that they would follow their trail and his was distressing enough. Still, he soldiered on, not giving up that he'd find a village or town somewhere in the desert.
That was until he walked past another dune and found an outpost.
Poe's stomach twisted at the sight. Everything was half destroyed and the distinct smell of TIE Fighter blasters floated in the air, probably from an attack by the First Order. He still breathed a sigh of relief as he slid down the dune. First, he needed water. And food. Lots of it. Then, he needed a ship. He couldn't afford to stay on this wretched planet any longer; not when the map to Luke Skywalker himself was lost out there in the unknown, and most importantly, not when his girl, his seven-year old little angel, was waiting for him at the Resistance Base.
#
"Good luck, Finn. I hope you find your friend."
Poe gave the ex-Stormtrooper a pat on the shoulder and walked out of the conference room. His pace accelerated as he jogged closer to his living quarters. He stopped at the door next to his bedroom's and knocked his secret knock loudly. Immediately, he heard a laugh and Breha's voice asking him to come in.
"Hi, darling!"
"Dada!"
Breha leapt from her chair at the table in the corner and ran up to him. Poe picked her up and twirled her around. Giggles erupted from his daughter until he sat on the bed, never letting her feet touch the ground. He hugged her and buried his nose in the soft cloud of curls on her head. The pilot let out a sigh at the smell of her shampoo. The Force knew he loved being able to scent it once more. He loved these moments spent between missions. It kept him grounded when he normally had his head, literally, up in the stars.
Breha pushed away from the hug and pointed an accusing finger at him.
"You said you'd be there for my birthday, Dada, and you weren't! Plus, I saw Auntie Jess at the base yesterday, before she went away again. You were here too, and you didn't come say hello!"
He smiled and bumped their noses together. Poe had promised he'd be there a few days ago, to celebrate the day he had found her… and the day he had told her she was adopted, two years ago, when she had asked him why she had no Mama. Of course, with the latest mission on Jakku, plus the battle on Takodana, he had had no time in the last few days to come see his best girl.
"I know, I'm sorry. I couldn't stop by because of an emergency in Maz Kanata's castle, but… that's not an excuse. I'm a mean Dada, aren't I?"
"No. Just a busy one. Do you have to go again?"
"Yeah, but I have five minutes."
"Really? Come see my drawing then. It's you, me, your X-Wing and BB-8!"
As Poe looked down on the wonderful drawing his daughter had worked on while he was gone, he thought about how she was growing up way too fast, not for the first time. She was already talking like a grown up.
"It's beautiful, darling."
"Thank you! Alanna and Leo liked it, too."
Poe gave his daughter a kiss on the side of her head. He loved it when Breha talked about her friends at school. It made him see that she was a kid like anyone else, that she wasn't affected by the fact she was living here. The thought she may want to become part of the military scared him as much as it made him proud. Whatever his girl would want in life, he would accept it and her.
"Dada? Are you listening?"
"Yes, I am. That's R2-D2 under the sheet, there. Is it?"
"Yes! It is!"
A knock sounded at the door. Both father and daughter turned to see it open. Jessika Pava appeared there, with a wide grin on her face. Her smile faltered when she walked in, though.
"Hi, guys! Poe, General Organa sent me. We're leaving soon."
"Oh," said Breha.
"I'll be there in a minute, Jess."
"Sure."
The door clicked when Jess closed it. Poe sighed through his nose and crouched until he was at his seated daughter's height. He ran a hand in his hair. He could see from her position, shoulders slumped, head down, lips pursed, that she was closing in on herself. A behavior that had started only a few months ago, when his missions as the head of squadron, doubled with his own personal quest for the General, had started to accumulate. In a week, he could only spend minutes with his little Breha. That was the life of a Resistance pilot.
"Hey."
He put a finger under her chin and lifted it to look in her eyes. His voice was soft when he spoke to her.
"I'll be back soon."
"You always say that!"
His eyes widened at her outburst. Poe wasn't used to her raising her voice. And because of the tears that appeared behind his daughter's glasses, he knew she had been thinking about this a lot recently. He didn't chastise her for her anger; she had things to say and she needed to get them out. He remained silent as Breha continued to talk and rant her heart out.
"You always say that! You always say 'I'll be back soon'. And yes, you always come back, but then you go again, and sometimes, it's not soon when you come back again! I just want to spend a while with my father, and I know it's selfish because you're the most selfless, brave and dedicated Dada there is! I'm just… I'm just… I'm scared you won't come back!"
Poe's lips formed a line as he chased away her tears with his thumb. The pilot put a kiss on her cheek. Breha rubbed at her eyes with a hand and with the other, traced a scar, new from his interrogation by Kylo Ren, over his nose.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have raised my voice…"
"But you had to let these feelings get out, right? They started here," he said as he put his index on her chest, and followed her body with his finger until he was touching her mouth, "And they ended up there. It's okay to communicate your frustration, Breha. It's healthy. You were angry at me, at my life. And you're scared. I get that completely, trust me."
"Really?"
"Of course. Every time I go in that ship and leave the base, I'm scared too. I'm scared of not coming back. Who would take care of you or BB-8 if I'm gone? Your feelings are valid, never say or let anyone else say they aren't. It's okay to feel things, and to communicate them after that. That's what makes us human."
"Grand-da always says it's love that makes us human."
Poe didn't really have the time to start talking to his daughter about the birds and the bees, or how his own father had sometimes said that his lack of attraction wasn't the norm and would make his life harder, but he still could tell her this.
"I think he's right to say that love – a love between a woman and a man, two men, two women, between friends, or a child and their parent – is important. It truly is. But… there are people who have animals, cats or dogs or otherwise, and they know their pets love them. Think about it this way. BB-8 loves you, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, but he's a droid!"
"But you said it. He loves you, and he's not human. And I love you, and I'm human. There are many… wonderful characteristics that humans and others… I mean, aliens do feel love and they're not human! There are things that we share with others, and we shouldn't say that it's completely unique to us. This galaxy and our lives have so much things to teach us; we shouldn't shut down experiences because we're not used to them. Do you understand?"
"Sort of…"
"The point is. I love you and I will always do my best to come back for you."
"I love you too, Dada."
She gave him a hug that was meant to crack his bones, but wasn't that strong since it came from his daughter. He smiled and got up. Poe walked to the bed and launched Breha on it. She laughed as she ended up on the bedcovers.
"That's a sound I like to hear! My Breha's laugh!"
The girl sent a serious look at the door, then back at him.
"You should go. They need you, the best Dada in the whole galaxy, to fight for them. Don't be scared of their big guns. I know you can do it!"
"You're sure?"
"Yeah! And don't forget your jacket! Now go! Go, go, go!"
He nodded and jogged out of the room. He turned around and grabbed the door, ready to close it. Poe smirked at Breha, who was still sitting on the bed.
"I'll think about you when I'm kicking the First Order's butt!"
"Yeah! That's my Dada!"
With a bigger smirk, Poe closed the door. Confidence followed his stride as he walked to the locker room where he'd left his jacket. Then, he was off to the runway where his X-Wing waited. He patted Finn on the shoulder as he passed him by and mounted in his ship.
Kylo Ren wouldn't know what hit him.
#
Not far from Poe, the Millennium Falcon rose from the forest floor. Under them, the lava was rising at a fast pace, but he knew they'd be gone before they could be crushed by the explosions that would make the planet implode.
"All teams!" he said to the others. "I've got eyes on them!"
Someone said "Yes!" loudly in his ear. The others cheered, but Poe furrowed his brow. It was a bit early to celebrate: after all, they still had to get out of this hell-hole and the Falcon seemed in pretty bad shape. It stayed in the air, fortunately. They were out in space by the time Starkiller Base exploded in a million specks of dust, leaving only the bright sun in sight.
"Our job's done here. Let's go home."
Hyperspace took them there in barely a few minutes. They even arrived before the old YT-1300 light freighter. Poe was among the first pilots to be out of his X-Wing and he watched as Chewbacca, the furry giant and copilot of the Millennium Falcon, lifted Finn in the air and put him in the arms of a waiting paramedic. He followed the medical procession and shot a look at poor scavenger Rey, who looked completely lost. Then, he saw that the General would be taking care of her. They would be mourning the death of one Han Solo together, it seemed.
Upon walking inside the base proper, he separated from the group and ran up to his daughter's bedroom. He opened the door and couldn't find her. Frowning, he looked in his own room. She wasn't there either. Feeling his heartbeat in his throat, he removed his jacket and attached equipment, sent them flying across the room where they landed safely on the bed, and walked back to the takeoff runway. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw his little girl perched on Jess' shoulders, celebrating with the other pilots.
"Hey there, Dada!" she called.
"She's an angel! You shouldn't keep her in her room!" said Jess.
"How're you, darling?" he asked, walking towards them.
"I'm great! You won! And Kylo Ren is nothing but Bantha Fodder!"
Poe inhaled sharply and put a hand on his heart, as if he was shocked.
"Breha! Those are bad words! Who taught you to say that?"
"Maybe I'm a bit at fault," answered Snap Wexley sheepishly.
Poe laughed and crouched, indicating at Jess to give him his daughter. Breha ended up on his shoulders and he walked around the base. Everybody was celebrating, giving each other high fives, handshakes, pats on the back and hugs. There had been victories before, but nothing as big as this one. He noticed Chewbacca sitting in a corner, quietly mourning, and decided to leave him be. BB-8 and Rey were nowhere in sight, but he knew where the latter was. He was about to go to the medical center when someone poked him on the back.
He turned to see a familiar golden droid with a red arm standing there.
"Hello Mr. Dameron! I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. Princess Leia sent me. R2-D2 has awakened. An emergency council has been announced, and as the Resistance's best pilot, she wanted you to be there up front."
"Thank you. Tell her I'll be there in a minute," he answered, and the droid left at his funny, awkward pace. Poe looked at his daughter on his shoulders and asked: "Do you want to be there too, darling?"
"Yeah, but she asked you. You're important, Dada, and I won't be needed."
"Don't worry, the General won't mind! If you stay silent in a corner, that is."
"I'll be so silent, they won't hear me breathe!"
"All right. Come on, let's go."
He arrived at the conference room two minutes later. Poe put Breha on the floor and indicated that she goes stand at the back, where she wouldn't be noticed. When he was certain she was there and would stay put, the girl's father walked to where the friend Finn had been so desperate to save stood.
"Hi. Poe, Poe Dameron. You must be Rey."
"Yes, I am," she answered and shook his extended hand. "Do I know you?"
"Finn talked a lot about you."
A light appeared in her eyes and a small smile appeared on her face. Poe smiled too and went to stay behind the General, who was now calling the meeting to order. They all gathered around. Even from where he was standing, the pilot could see Breha's head poking up from behind a table.
R2-D2 let the other half of the holographic map, incomplete, appear. BB-8, who'd been next to General Organa's feet, rolled under it and looked at it in deep concentration. It seemed the droid had an idea because it went back to him and Poe crouched until he was at the astromech droid's height.
"Hey… All right, buddy. Hold on!"
The pilot activated a button on the console behind him and the piece he had salvaged from his trip from hell on Jakku, one that he hoped to one day forget, appeared. He put it in BB-8's round body and the droid rolled to R2-D2's side. He made his own part of the map merge with its other half.
"The map!" said C-3PO. "It is complete!"
"Luke..." whispered Leia.
From the corner of his eye, Poe saw the golden protocol droid put a hand on his friend's head. He smiled when he heard it say:
"Oh, my dear friend. How I've missed you."
The meeting was short, and everybody left to prepare for the upcoming trip to find one Luke Skywalker. Poe turned to General Organa when she spoke his name, but she was actually talking to Rey. He frowned at that, but didn't had time to think much about it when Breha came running at high speed and crushed his waist between her arms.
"That map was so pretty! I loved it! Can we see it again, Dada? Please?"
"I don't think so, darling. R2-D2's already gone. I think they're going to clean it, make it shine. It's been asleep for a while, after all."
"Oh. Okay!"
"Mr. Dameron?"
Poe turned around to see Rey standing there.
"Yes? Is something wrong?" he asked the younger woman.
"General Organa… she told me you knew the way to the medical center. That I should ask you to go see Finn."
"Oh, yes, of course! Call me Poe, by the way. Breha…"
"I'm going to see Auntie Jess. I'll be right back!"
Poe's daughter was gone a second later. He chuckled and led the way for the scavenger to follow. He arrived at the familiar medical center a few minutes later, after he'd made sure Rey had been able to keep up between all the twists and turns. It was much more silent here, but the sounds of the celebration could still be heard, faintly in the background. He stopped in the doorway and let the brunette walk to her friend's side. Finn had been settled on his back on a table, and his serene face echoed the beeps of his heartbeat in a machine.
"You'll know your way when you'll have to go to your room and change?"
She looked at him and frowned. He pointed at some clothes that had been put on another table, on his right. They were definitely not meant for Finn to wear; they looked far too small for him. And the bra peeking underneath the vest told him they were meant for someone who wasn't male at birth, or wasn't anymore.
"Oh. I think I'll manage. I can take care of myself."
"Good. I'll tell him, by the way."
"Excuse me?"
He smiled and looked from her to the ex-Stormtrooper, then back to Rey.
"I'll tell him. That you've stayed by his side, for as long as you could. I bet he didn't have any friends when he was a Stormtrooper. Did you know they used to call him FN-2187? He's a human being, not a number, I swear…"
"Who named him Finn then?"
"I did. When he helped me escape."
They nodded at each other and Rey looked back at Finn. A long moment of silence followed, in which Poe gazed at his feet. He was uncertain what to say, how to make her feel better. If she had been his daughter Breha, it would've been easy. But of course, she wasn't.
"Mr. Dameron… Poe. Why did the General say you were familiar with the medical center? If that's not an inappropriate question…"
"Not at all. You remember the little girl I was talking to earlier, right? She's my daughter, Breha. I adopted her when she was less than a year old. She was born blind and deaf, but had surgeries thereafter. I've spent a couple days and nights here, if you know what I mean."
"Well, that explains the glasses."
Again, they nodded, and again, they fell silent. This time, the silence stretched longer than the last time. Poe finally decided it was his time to leave and told Rey so. He had just walked past the doorway when he heard her call his name, almost unrecognizable in that accent of hers.
He turned around and took a peek inside.
"Yes?"
"I'd like to thank you. Not just for telling me where this place was… but… for everything else. On Finn's behalf, too."
"You're welcome. It was an honor to help."
He nodded at her and left. Poe first thought his daughter might be back in her bedroom, but he quickly thought otherwise. That wasn't something Auntie Jess would have approved of, spending all that time in a room, isolated from the festivities. His footsteps led him to the doorstep of the long and wide room that served as a bar, where the other pilots were all still celebrating. The burn of smoke in his eyes and the taste of alcohol on his tongue indicated he was definitely at the right place. He didn't know if it was early or late – there wasn't any indicator of time passing inside the base, unless you walked outside, and he'd forgotten his watch somewhere – but he knew that he really didn't want a drink. He stepped inside, greeted the barman behind his counter and found Breha sitting between his squad comrades, smiling her biggest toothy grin.
"I knew I shouldn't have made you Aunt and godmother, Jessika!" he said over the sound of the laughter, cheers and music. Somehow, they had managed to get a band on such a short notice. "You're already corrupting my daughter! In a pub, at her age! She's seven, by the Force!"
Jess grinned at him from her seat on the side of a table next to the wall, on his left, and wrapped an arm around Breha's tiny shoulders. They smiled at each other, as in reassurance that no, he wasn't really mad. Which was absolutely true, he though as he sat opposite them.
"Hey, Poe," said Snap as he walked by. "It's still early. Grab a pint!"
"Nah, maybe later. I'll have water."
The ambiance was perfect, with old songs from the Galactic Civil War shared between everyone and the happiness spread around. That was until he was offered to go play with the band. Poe tried to refuse, but nobody let him.
"Come on, Poe! You're great and you sing great too!" Jess cheered him on.
At this point, he didn't know if it was the alcohol in her body that was speaking, or herself. And it made him uneasy that Breha was in such an environment.
"I don't have a quetarra, sorry!"
"You know how to play one?"
Poe knew he was done for when the band member patted him on the back. He finally surrendered and walked to the stage at the back of the room. At least from there he could still keep an eye on his daughter. He almost jerked back when someone trusted him with a beautiful quetarra glistening with polish. He ran his hand with admiration over the wood. It felt weird to have one once again in his hands. Kes Dameron had been an accomplished player of the Zabrak instrument and had even thought his son after his mother's passing, but that was long ago.
"What do you wanna play?"
"Um… I only know slow songs."
"Perfect! Make way for a dancefloor, we have a Ktomeo in the room!"
Poe smiled at that. Being compared to a character of one of Yavin IV's best playwright and poet was actually quite flattering. Someone got out a chair for him to sit on. The feelings of his hands on the strings was foreign and familiar at the same time. He quickly remembered the notes from somewhere in his childhood. Feeling himself becoming more confident, he said:
"All right. Here goes. You guys may sing along, if you know it."
"I've been gone for so long now
Chasing everything that's new
I have forgotten how I got here
I have not forgotten you
We were just children, but our eyes opened
And you were all that I could see
You came close enough to know my heart beat but
Still not close enough for me
Through the good times and the bad
You were the best I never had
The only chance I wish I had to take
There was no writing on the wall
No warning signs to follow
I know now and I just can't forget
You're the best I never had
Nanana…
In this motel
Well past midnight
When I'm bluer than a bruise
You come drifting in through the half-light
In your funny yellow shoes
And I hope that's you standing at my doorway
That's the scratchin' of your key
And I hope this song I'm singing
Someday finds you
Wherever you may be…
Through the good times and the bad
You were the best I never had
The only chance I wish I had to take
But there was no writing on the wall
No warning signs to follow
I know now and I just can't forget
You're the best I never had
Nana nanana…
Best I never had
Nana nanana, mmmm…
Best I never had
Nana, nanana…"
Singing while playing for an audience was something he had done only once before but he missed it dearly, he realized. And it felt even better when his daughter walked to his side of the stage and watched him with gleaming eyes. Couples gathered in the middle of the hastily-made dancefloor to slow dance on his own rhythm. For a few moments, he forgot the events of the last few days, the battles and his worries about the future, for Breha and himself. But playing didn't chase away the fatigue in his wary bones.
He didn't know at what time he went to bed, but Poe was exhausted when he walked back to his living quarters. He was carrying Breha on his back, as she'd fallen asleep not long ago. He tucked his daughter under her bedcovers then went to his own room. Shortly after slipping inside pajama bottoms and an A-shirt and having hung his orange suit in the bathroom, he closed his window's curtains and promptly fell face first on his bed.
"Dada? Dada! Okay. BB-8? I think we need to use the big guns."
Poe jumped and let out a screech as an electric shock shook his body. It were quickly followed by Breha's cold hands touching his arm and making it get covered with goosebumps. He looked around, slightly dazed, and found her and his favorite droid standing next to the bed. The pilot let out a deep sigh of relief.
"Breha, that hurt! What's the matter? Is anybody hurt?"
"No, no! Don't worry, everyone's fine. It's just that Rey, Chewbacca and R2-D2 are leaving aboard the Falcon and I wanted to know if you wanted to be there to see them go. You weren't waking up, so I had to use the electric shocker."
"Oh. Yeah. Okay. Ow. What time is it?"
"Late," she replied with laughter in her voice.
Poe ran a hand over his tired face and grumbled that he was coming. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth. He watched through sleepy eyes as his daughter ran out the room. Suddenly, he wondered what she was doing there, mainly because… wasn't this a school day? But then he looked at the calendar on the wall and saw that no, it wasn't, because it was already the holidays. Of course. She'd told him a week ago that Miss Alsbur had congratulated them on a good year and good grades. But with the events of the last few hours and days, and his sleepiness, Poe had completely forgotten that. And he wasn't used to sleeping in. His recent nights had been filled with one or two hours of slumber, nothing more.
"All right, yeah. I'm coming."
He jumped out of bed, took a hasty shower, put on his orange suit, tried a bit of cologne and brushed his bed hair. Most proved to be useless, because the smells of grease and the metallic fragrance of the First Order's Finalizer were, if nothing, persistent. Twenty minutes after having awoken, he was on his way to the takeoff runway. A crowd had already gathered around the Millennium Falcon, but it wasn't gone, at least.
Poe whistled as he walked to the front of the group, where the droids and the General were. Leia greeted him with a sad smile, C-3PO waved at him with his newly reassembled golden arm, and BB-8 welcomed him with his usual, excited behavior. Rey, R2-D2 and Chewbacca were nowhere in sight, and he figured they were already aboard the starship.
"You know, Poe," said the General. "It's been a while since you've taken a vacation. After all, you succeeded in finding my brother."
"Ma'am, thank you. How many days are we talking about? Weeks maybe?"
"How about months? Don't worry. I'll take care of everything. You have a life to live, my young friend. I wouldn't want you to waste it."
That was when the engines started, and the old Falcon, the legendary ship which had made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, rose above them. There was something special in the air, like it was the beginning of an era for its new crew. And yes, maybe it was. Everybody cheered and he joined them, clapping until his hands hurt. The Corellian ship drove its way out of the atmosphere, and the group separated when it went into hyperspace.
General Organa put a hand on his shoulder before walking away, her shoulders slumped and fatigue in her step. C-3PO followed and even offered that she take his arm on the way inside the base. Poe himself sat on his heels to be at about BB-8's height. The droid's head rolled until he was gazing at the ground in front of him, and he beeped with melancholy. His buddy smiled at that.
"Hey, BB-8. Don't worry about that. I know you'll see her again."
The little droid raised its head. It beeped again, with a mix of hope and a bit of curiosity. Poe wanted to chuckle at that. Of course his little friend would want to understand… At times, he was like Breha in her "why?" phase.
"I can't explain it, really. I… I just know it. Kind of like… a feeling. Sorry if that wasn't the answer you were looking for. It's the only one I can offer."
"Dada?"
BB-8 chirped happily. Poe rose up as soon as his daughter's voice had reached his ears. He turned towards her. Breha was holding Jess' hand, who grinned sheepishly at him. There was something in his pilot friend's posture that told him she was suffering from hangover, but as usual, she still managed.
"I know it's Snap's day… He was supposed to look after her, but honestly, I wouldn't leave a child with him right now. I think he's still throwing up from last night. I've still got to repair my ship… do you mind if you…?"
Poe shook his head. He'd never mind taking care of Breha. The smile on his face grew at the sight of his daughter's wide grin and he crouched once again, pointing at his back. With a giggle, Breha hopped on and held on to his neck. He started to jog, not too fast and not too slow. He still wanted the ride to be enjoyable to his little darling. Behind him, he heard BB-8 beep and follow.
Upon passing by the starships, Poe extended his arms on either side of his body and, making sure he didn't hit anybody on his way, made an engine sound with his voice. Breha laughed whole-heartedly at that. She absolutely loved it when her Dada imitated his X-Wing fighter. Then, they made it inside the crowded buildings, and he had to stop in case he hurt someone by passing.
They walked by Kes Dameron on their ride. They nodded at each other but didn't speak further. As he jogged away, Poe felt himself unable to not think about his father's insistence upon him finding a wife – or anybody else, as he'd sometimes added as an afterthought. He didn't need "the right partner". He didn't need a partner at all, not in a romantic way anyway. He never had, and he never would.
If the man wasn't going to accept that, or try to understand how his son worked, that was too bad. Poe would always love his father, even with all his flaws.
"Run, run, Dada! Faster!"
After all, he had found the right person, and her name was Breha Dameron.
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