Give me Something to Believe in
She near enough tumbles from the car – her wedding car – even before it has completely stopped moving. She lifts up the full skirt of her dress – her wedding dress – in a move only to facilitate her running, mindless of the dirt she kicks up to mar the hem. And then she stops. Her eyes rest on a familiar car in the bottom of the ditch. Flames have already engulfed everything that is flammable. The stench of burning plastic fills her nostrils and the combination of this, the intense heat on her face and the smoke filling her lungs makes her eyes water. But it is only the thought of what the wreckage before her represents which causes tears to spill, causes her breath to stall and come in great ragged inhales and exhales.
An arm snakes around her waist and pulls her backwards. At the same time, Ryan's face appears before her, grasping the hands which reach with futility towards the car. "It's his." The words are garbled with devastation. "It's Rick's car." And then she's chocking and coughing against the sobs and the smoke and the heat.
Shock has made her dazed and disorientated. It's a joint effort by Ryan and Esposito to wrestle her back a mere few feet to a slightly safer distance from the burning metal carcass.
"I need to see!"
"No, you don't need to see," Espo calmly counters. "The cops, CSU, the-" he cuts himself off before mention the ME. A vision of Castle's body upon an autopsy table is not what any of them need, though the thought is surely not far from their minds. "They'll tell you all you need to know."
Still, she fights them, sobbing harshly, pushing against her colleagues hands. "But I need to… To help him! Rick!"
"Trust me Beckett," he continues over her desperate calls of her finance's name. "They're doing all they can. You don't need to go down there. Ryan and I don't need to, and you most certainly don't."
She shakes her head desperately and her cries become louder as both detectives fight her flailing limbs to drag her to their hire car. Although in a different setting, the image is strangely reminiscent of the aircraft carrier; Castle hauling her up, kicking and sobbing, away from Montgomery and his sacrifice. He'd pinned her to his car, their eyes locked and both parties spilling tears. He'd muffled her sobs, he'd stroked her hair. All this while their friend, a member of their family, was shot to death mere metres from where they stood.
What Beckett wouldn't give for him to be here now, sitting next to her, carding his fingers through her curls. He would hold her close, whisper soothing words so close to her ear that she would be able to feel the warmth of his breath against her neck. She would press her face against the soft warm shirt at his chest and breath in his familiar scent and spicy aftershave, further solidifying his presence. Gradually, she would relax in his embrace, her sobs lessening to sniffles and the occasional shuddering breath as she believes his words telling her he's okay, and he's here, and he's alive.
But, heartbreakingly, the scene is not to be, cannot be. It is Esposito sitting next to her, not her fiancé. And no words from the cop can ever calm her desperation and building sense of devastation.
Despite Javi's earlier words and despite knowing they need to get Kate away from the evidence of her fiancés accident, what is clear on Ryan and Esposito's faces is the trouble they have with removing themselves from the scene. The cop instinct is strong, and the urge to discover answers almost keeps them there.
Javier's phone rings then, prompting the detectives into action. Ryan starts the engine while his partner attempts to secure the seatbelt around the bride-to-be who is clawing at the locked door to be let out. Esposito silences the shrill ringing with a push of the answer button, and Ryan glances up from concentrating at the road when the voice of Lanie Parish on the other end is loud enough for even him to hear.
"Slow down chica." Espo's calming voice seems to do the trick and although the ME's voice is still emotional enough to be heard, Ryan can no longer discern details.
After ending the call, Javi glances at Beckett then leans forward between the front seats to speak to Ryan in a low but urgent tone. "Bro, that was Lanie. We need to get back as fast as we can."
A/N: So there we have it. I know it's short, but as an introduction to the fic, it just seemed to right place to finish the chapter. The following chapters will be longer.
I think this is going to be the most challenging fic I've ever had to write, and hopefully it will help me grow as a writer. So any feedback and suggestions are welcome!
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed!