A/N ; all of these charactersare originally Stephanie Meyer's i have just changed them up
DISCLAIMER ; trigger warning as this is based on a person who sufferes from anorexia and other disorders so if you aren't comfotable with that then byebye hun.
Everything was a dark grey colour,The sky , The people around me and their clothing.T atmosphere was depressing and the surrounding place was filled with sobs. I could so easily recognise , parents , best friends , family and him. I pushed my way through the people trying to get to him.I needed to find out why he was crying , to assure him it was okay but nobody noticed me. I got to him and held his hand `` Edward ,whats wrong? `` i questioned him but he didn't reply. ``Edward ? `` i asked him again , more worried than before.I followed his eyes , panicked to a point that i couldn't front of my family and I there was a coffin been lowered into a dug out grave,right in front of a head stone that read
In Loving Memory Of BELLA SWAN
1996-2013
GREATLY MISSED BY ALL FAMILY AND FRIENDS
R . I . P
I dropped to the ground , unable to breath. Just as the coffin was placed in i heard `` i love you `` leave his lips.
My eyes fluttered open quickly. My throat was parched and my forehead and every other surface of my skin was matted in sweat. It was just a dream , Bella , just a dream. I sat up and wiped away the sweat. He wouldn't cry if you died . A voice in my head told me , Have you in looked in the mirror lately , you are obese and ugly. Why would he ever want you?. The voice questioned. `` You're right , i'm not near enough pretty for him `` I replied back, sighing and getting out of the bed. My fairy lights where on providing enough light to check my clock . 5am . I had no hope of getting back to sleep , I lazily walked to my wardobe, pulling out a jogging pants and a loose t-shirt. I stripped and put on my jogging outfit. I had to start somewhere the pounds weren't going to disappear by themselves. I quietly walked down the stairs , making sure that Charlie was gone before i left the house. He had already left to my relief. I didn't feel like breakfast ,I was already grossed out with myself and eating wasn't going to make me feel more confident about my weight. I left before i had second thoughts about food. I didn't have a clue where i was going but as long as it was long and i feel achey after it.
I came home sweaty and aching but most of all starving. I limped to the refridgerator ,opening the door, The smell of last nights lasagne wafted out. Don't you dare isabella swan .. Edward.Right. Edward .I turned away and went slowly up the stairs into the washroom. I stripped out of my sweaty clothes and stepped into the already warm water. I quickly shampood my have , massaging the strawberry scented creme into my hair followed by the conditioner. I stepped out and quickly wrapped my cleansed body in a towel along with my hair ,rushing into my bedroom i locked the door and stood in front of the full length mirror. I examined my body , circling my flawa. The paleness of my skin , my invisible collar bone , my breasts that were most likely big because of fat and then my stomach that wasn't flat or toned. My hands then felt my barely visible hip bones and suddenly being a size 8 made me feel obese , was i ever a size 4? My thighs looked so big ,making my stomach churn. Ew Ew Ew, the new weird voice in my head said making the sickness worse. My eyes teared up. Since when did I become so self conscious? I quickly threw on a loose jenas ,not wanting any skinny jeans to cup my large thighs and the loosest tee I had before running downstairs to get my bag and grab a cereal bar. I ran out the door and jumped into my truck , the engine purring to life as i turned the key. Today was going to be like hell with how self conscious I was.
I apologize for how bad this is but I promise I'll improve - clarissa jane