Afterlife

***UPDATE: ate my formatting! I'm so sorry that the scene changes were not marked. In my original document, they were marked with tildes, as I usually do. For some reason, however, FFN will NOT display them! I'm sorry this made the story hard to read, and I hope that you will give it another shot.***

This fic assumes you've finished Mass Effect 3 with at least a military readiness of 2800 and received the beam "synthesis" ending. There will be spoilers for many things in the game, so if you don't know some of the outcomes or are trying to remain in the dark, please hit your browser's back button.

This fic contains a female Commander Shepard who romanced Liara in the first game, Thane in the second and Liara again in the third.

*spoilers after this point*

Shepard clutched her side as she stepped forward. The choice was obvious to her - destroying the Reapers with what she knew now would doom the future for organic life, and control was nothing more than slavery for the Geth and for EDI. Synthesis, however, was an answer that promised a future. What a strange future, she thought. The synthesis of man and synthetic into one being - wish I could be around to see it. She looked forward into the beam, then up and to the side where the red machine stood. Then she shook her head. One life for billions - an equitable trade, she thought, then closed her eyes and jumped.

She thought it might be painful, but disintegration wasn't so bad, all things considered. The beam shone brighter then any light she'd ever seen, and then there was sweet, merciful blackness racing towards her - an end to pain, to suffering, to sorrow.

I'm sorry, Liara, was her last thought.

Liara and Garrus sat on a shuttle in silence. Cortez had swept in to pick them up after finding an abandoned but still functional Alliance shuttle in the ruins of London. Liara and Garrus were wounded from the beam and held various bandages over bleeding, weeping burns.

"We should be with her," Liara said. "Garrus, we can still go back."

"No," Garrus said. "You know as well as I do that this part of the journey belongs to her alone. Besides, she would want us to get medical attention."

"You don't think she's coming back, do you?" Liara said, voicing the fears that both of them felt as they headed back to the Normandy.

"If anyone could, it would be Shepard," Garrus said. "She's come back from wor- Liara, are you all right?" Liara had started to cry, clutching her head.

"She's gone," Liara said. "I just felt it. The last time I saw her, I joined her mind to mine so I would know if anything happened... She's gone, Garrus. She's-" She buried her head in her hands.

Garrus awkwardly lifted his arm and put it on Liara's shoulder. He closed his eyes. "I guess we all knew deep down that there was a good possibility we weren't all coming back," he said. "Still-"

The shuttle landed in the Normandy's launch bay. "Dr. Chakwas is waiting for us," Cortez said. "Liara, I'm sorry. Shepard was... she was..."

"When all this was over, I was going to ask her to be my bondmate," Liara said.

"Liara, I had no idea you two were so close," Garrus said. "I mean, I knew you were together, but-"

"I didn't know for a while either," Liara said. "It was so complicated with her dating Thane, and I wasn't sure if she was over him. Then he died, and slowly she came back to me. It was then that I realized I never should have left. I should have been with her when she fought the Collectors. I was determined to make it right, to make it permanent between us. Now... it's too late..."

Cortez took Liara's trembling hand and helped her from the shuttle. Garrus paused for a second. Meet you at the bar, Shepard, he thought, then followed the others.

Shepard woke on a couch, feeling dizzy and disoriented, as though she'd had way too much to drink. Club music pounded in her ears and pink lighting swam into view, as did the image of Aria T'Loak sitting beside her.

She sat up slowly. Aria laughed at some drunken vorcha stumbling down by the bar and then turned to her.

"Oh, you're finally awake," she said.

"Where am I?" Shepard asked. Was it all just a dream?

Aria laughed and gestured to the neon glowing sign that hung above the doorway. "Afterlife" swam into focus. The club was packed compared to usual, and a line was waiting outside the door to get in.

"So I'm on Omega?" Shepard asked, confused. "I thought it was under Cerberus control." She clutched her side and her hands came back covered in blood. So it was real...

Aria laughed. "Maybe this would make you understand," she said, and clicked her fingers. The scenery changed and they were in Aria's club on the Citadel. The neon blue lights read "Purgatory".

"I'm dead," Shepard said.

"That's right," Aria said. "Glad you could join us. You showed up a little late for all of us on the Citadel. The Reapers crashed the party."

"I'm sorry," Shepard said.

Aria laughed again. "Always so sorry. Shepard, you can't save everybody. I heard you saved the universe and defeated the Reapers. So, good for you. I hope I helped."

"You did," Shepard said. "Thank you." She noticed a cut on Aria's forehead that wouldn't stop bleeding. Aria wiped at it.

"Have a drink on me to celebrate," Aria said. She motioned to a waiter, who brought a tray of drinks. Shepard downed one and felt dizzy almost instantly.

"I think I'm gonna lay down," she said.

"You do that," Aria said. "You've earned a rest, that's for sure."

"There's a light following the Normandy!" Joker yelled. "It's engulfing everything! EDI, help me evade this thing!"

"Evasion is impossible, Jeff. At current speed, the beam will overtake us in 58 seconds." EDI said.

"No way!" Liara cried on the communicator from the observation deck. "The Mass Relay! It just... exploded!"

"No freaking way!" Joker said. "It can't be time for the end of the universe. I haven't even made it to second base with EDI yet!"Expecting a retort, he looked across to see EDI slumped unconscious in her seat."EDI?" Every warning light in the cockpit came on as he started to feel dizzy. The green light rushed through the cockpit and he slipped into unconsciousness in his seat, breaking several bones as he fell onto the controls.

He woke some time later on the floor to find EDI in the pilot seat. I don't feel as bad as I should... what the hell? "EDI, why are you flying the ship? I mean, you ARE the ship..."

"It would appear that that is no longer the case," she said, and her voice sounded less computerized. More... human, Joker realized. He touched her arm and she was warm. "Holy cow!" He said. "EDI, you're alive! Like, a real girl now!"

"Are you insinuating that I was not a real girl before?" EDI asked.

"No, no... It's just... you're different," Joker said. "You're warm. You're..."

"I have calculated that I am 52% organic." EDI said. "Jeff, you are currently 51% organic. Did you not question why you have no broken bones?"

Joker looked at his arm and saw synthetic lines running down it. "Woah!" he said. "What... the... hell!"

"It would appear that some kind of fusion occurred when we were hit with the beam," EDI said. We are both synthetic and organic lifeforms now."

Liara stood at the door, the same lines present in her skin. "It's a miracle," she said. "Shepard's miracle. By the Goddess, I'm sure of it."

"SHE did this?" Joker said. "What the hell happened up there on the Citadel?"

"I'd love to know," Ashley said, pushing past Liara. "This is freaking me out! I just want to go back to the way I was."

"It must have happened for a reason," Liara said. "The Reapers retreated before the mass relay exploded. Shepard found an answer up there."

"An answer that means you can never go home," Ashley said. "Without the mass relays, we're all cut off from one another. Everybody who came here to fight this war is trapped on this world! Some solution."

Garrus, Cortez and James all made their way to the cockpit. "Anybody else think we should look outside?" Garrus said.

Joker got to his feet and opened the door, stepping outside. EDI followed, along with Liara. "Everything is part synthetic," Liara said. "Look, the leaves!"

"That's something else," James said. "Lola's sure got a strange sense of humor, though."

Liara looked up at the sky. "Shepard..."

Siha!

Shepard heard the familiar voice, but it was distant, far away.

Siha!

Again, yet closer.

Siha!

"...Thane?" Shepard opened her eyes to see Thane looking down at her with his black eyes. She sat up and looked around. She was still in her ruined N7 armor, and she was on a beach somewhere, and she felt wet, like she had just washed up on the shore.

"I have been waiting for you, Siha," Thane said. "I knew you would cross the sea eventually, be it at the end of your mission or many years after that. I promised I would wait for you."

"Thane..." Shepard said. "What's going on? Why am I here? I was just at Aria's club..." She reached down to her side, where it was still bleeding. "Also, if I'm dead, why am I still bleeding?"

"The bleeding is a spiritual wound," Thane explained. "It is the thing that haunts you, the ghosts that stay with you. As you heal them in this world by making peace with the dead, your wound will heal. When you are healed, you will be able to pass on to eternal sleep."

"You're not wounded," Shepard said. "You healed?"

"I died with no regrets," Thane said "I was already at peace. I could have passed on, but I wanted to wait for you, so that you were not alone at the end of your days."

"Thanks," Shepard said. "I'm so sorry, Thane. You were stabbed, and then I left you to chase Kai Leng... If I had stayed with you, given you medical attention, you could have lived."

"You did what you needed to do," Thane said. "I was dying anyway. I was glad to give my life in service to your cause then to die the slow, painful death that was in store for me. It was a blessing, Siha. Do not feel bad." He stroked her cheek and she awkwardly pulled away. "Ah, Liara," Thane said, removing his hand. "I understand. She was special to you. It's fine, Siha. I was dying and then I was dead, and I knew there was no future for us. I am glad you found a way to move on."

Shepard felt her wound. The bleeding had seemed to slow a little. Thane checked it. "Siha, you didn't need to feel guilt for me. Or for anybody else. Tell me about your adventure. Tell me how you saved the universe. Then we'll work out the rest."

Liara was packing up what was left of Shepard's cabin when James walked in. "Oh, I didn't know you were in here," he said.

"I just came back to get some things," Liara said. "This is all I have left to remember her by, now."

"I was up here, once," James said. "I asked Lola about joining the N7 program."

"And?" Liara said. "What did she tell you?"

"She told me to go for it," James said. "I have to report tomorrow. I mean, it's not like we're going to be out exploring the galaxy any more, but there's lots of important stuff to do here, you know? Like cleaning up her mess." He broke into a grin.

Cortez walked in. "Oh, sorry to interrupt," he said, "but James, we should go soon if you're going to make it to the base by 7am tomorrow."

"Okay, okay. I'll be right out." James said.

Liara stopped packing and stood up, a playful smile on her lips. "Are you two...?"

"Yeah," James said, looking bashful, "but don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Siha, you can do this," Thane said. He stood with Shepard on a ship of Quarian design as Quarians milled around them, some with their masks, some without.

"I killed all of them," Shepard said. "I sided with the geth because I was angry at the Quarian admirals for starting up a war that should have stayed dead. Inside the geth consciousness, I saw the persecution that the Quarians had brought to bear on the geth. I let all that blind my perception and instead of finding a solution for both I took a side... and now all these people are here because of me. Tali is here because of me. How can I look her in the eye and tell her I'm sorry?"

"Tali was a friend." Thane said. "You must go to her, Siha. You must let her know that you haven't forgotten about her. That you did not want her or the Quarians to die." He put his hand on her shoulder.

Shepard stepped forward into the control room. Tali was looking out of the window at the stars, her mask gone. Shepard looked at her beautiful, sad face and looked down at her boots.

"Shepard." Tali said. "I wondered if I would see you again."

"Tali... I... I'm so sorry. I killed your race... I killed you. I let my anger at the Admirals blind my judgement... we should have found an answer!"

Tali shook her head. "It is not your fault, Shepard. You are only human. It is my fault. I gave you that power. I gave you the kind of faith that nobody should give to another. I killed my people."

"That's not true!" Shepard said. "I punched the Admiral. I took the side of the geth. You begged me to stop the upload and I didn't listen!"

"Tell me, Shepard... is Earth safe? Did you defeat the Reapers?" Tali asked.

"Yes, I did," Shepard said.

"That's comforting to hear, Shepard," Tali said. "We did not die for nothing, then. The other races live. Perhaps someday even the ragged remnants of the Fleet, the few ships that got away from the massacre will make a colony, and we will live on. Perhaps someday they will share the homeworld with the geth."

"I wish I could take it back," Shepard said. "I wish I could-"

"No," Tali said. "Shepard, do not say that. I have to know that you did what you did because you had to. Do not turn around now and say it was a mistake. I saw the inside of the geth network with you. What my people did to the geth... I know that we brought a lot of this on ourselves. That you only made a decision based on the facts." She reached her hand out to Shepard and Shepard took it. Tali surprised her by pulling her into an embrace.

"Shepard, you are still my friend. I want you to know that." Tali let go of Shepard. "I saw you reach over the cliff for me. I am sorry I could not be there to see you beat the Reapers."

"I'm sorry you didn't get your house on the homeworld. I feel like I let you down." Shepard said.

Tali shook her head. "Go in peace, Shepard," she said. "Know that I am still Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, and that I was proud to serve with you."

Shepard reached for Tali, but the scene vanished and she was back on the beach with Thane. Her injury had stopped bleeding, though it still hurt.

"She forgave me," Shepard said, falling to her knees in the sand. "I don't know how-"

Thane knelt down and took her in his embrace. "Siha, she knew you did what you had to do. She knew you did not do it on a whim."

"Garrus, it is nice to see you again," Liara said. "I need to apply for a license to dig in the forests where we landed. I'm trying to study Earth culture from its pre-synthetic origins. Here's the paperwork. How are things?"

"They've been better," Garrus said. He swung his chair around to show a missing leg. Tendrils of wiring were slowly healing and reforming into a new limb, but it would take time. "Got this trying to keep a krogan and a salarian apart," he said. "It's not easy, all these races stuck on Earth with no way home."

"I understand their plight," Liara said. "Some days, I yearn for Thessia with all my heart."

"You might yet see it again," Garrus said. "A lot of change can come in a thousand years. The salarians, however, aren't so lucky. Even with their new synthetic nature lengthening their lives, they'll still be lucky to ever see their families again."

"That is true," Liara said. "Garrus... do you ever think about Shepard?"

"All the time," Garrus said. "We could use her right now. Earth needs a leader who can unite the races." He shook his head. "Those days are gone. Shepard did what she had to do. The rest is up to us."

"Mordin." Shepard stood at the top of the tower as the flames grew. "I'm sorry. It should have been me up here."

"Not true. Genophage my creation. Solution brings peace, Shepard. Came full circle." Mordin said.

"I should have stopped you," Shepard said. "We could have found another way."

"Your sacrifice needed for bigger, better things. Like saving universe. Interesting changes, Shepard. Half-organic, half-synthetic. Would love to study." Mordin said. "Was meant to be, Shepard. Do not feel guilt. Am happy."

"Siha." Thane caught Shepard as she reappeared, unsteady on her feet. Her wound was just a scratch now, and healing fast. "Kelly Chambers. Legion. Pressly." Shepard said. "So many to see."

"They have all moved on, Siha. They have found peace. You are ready, as am I, to move on. To find rest among the stars and the essence of things.

"There's still one more thing I have to do," Shepard said.

The scene changed again and they were aboard Chronos Station, looking out at the stars and a brilliant sun. The Illusive Man sat in his chair, the computer consoles displaying several images of Earth. He stood and turned as Shepard entered.

"Shepard." The Illusive Man looked surprised. All signs of Reaper corruption were gone and he once again looked like a man. "I did not expect to see you again."

"Siha, what do you want with this man?" Thane asked.

"I never thanked you," Shepard said. "Yes, Cerberus was an ugly terrorist organization. Yes, you were indoctrinated by the Reapers and murdered millions on Sanctuary. What you did was inexcusable. But... you brought me back to life. I never thanked you for that."

A smile crossed the Illusive Man's lips. "In a way," he said, "you were all that Cerberus ever stood for. The best of mankind. It makes me proud that the one to save the universe was a human." He dropped his cigarette and stamped it out before disappearing.

Shepard wandered over to the consoles and looked at their images. One showed Garrus, busy keeping the peace. One showed Liara, hard at work on her excavation. Another showed James training for the N7 program. Shepard sat down in the Illusive Man's chair and watched.

"You're not coming, are you?" Thane said.

Shepard shook her head. "I have to watch over them. Over this new world. I can't just walk away. They're my friends."

"I understand," Thane said. He put his hand on Shepard's shoulder. She stood up, took him in her embrace and kissed him.

"Goodbye, Siha," Thane said. "Good luck, my warrior queen." He disappeared and Shepard found herself holding thin air. She reluctantly let go and returned to the monitors.

Councilor Matriarch Liara woke to another day on the New Citadel. Six hundred years had passed, and with it had come so many changes. The invention of faster-then-light travel had reunited the universe, and Liara had been chosen to be the ambassador to take the technology back to Thessia. Galactic civilization reborn, the Council was recreated, and Liara had been chosen as the asari representative.

She got out of bed and watched the news vids, Shepard on her mind as she picked up her datapad and scrolled through the day's appointments. Shepard had been on her mind for six hundred years, guiding her actions, leading the way, even in death. Liara picked up her things and headed out onto the Presidium. It was not as beautiful as the original Citadel, but she preferred the knowledge that it was not full of secret Reaper technology and there were no Keepers wandering around.

"Matriarch Liara?" a voice called from behind her. Liara turned to see a gun pointed in her face held by an angry vorcha. She used her biotic powers to throw the gun off the balcony, but didn't notice the elcor sniper above her. The shot pierced her heart as the Presidium fell into chaos.

"That's for voting against the elcor colony on Horizon!" the vorcha spat, before running off into the crowd.

"Shepard," Liara whispered as she bled out onto the sidewalk, and the next thing she knew, she was in Shepard's arms on Chronos Station, the universe laid out beneath them in a magnificent sea of stars.

"Liara," Shepard said. "I'm so proud of you."

"Shepard," Liara said. "I couldn't have done it without you. I missed you so much."

"I know," Shepard said, and leaned in to kiss Liara, tears in both their eyes.

"I was going to ask you to be my bondmate," Liara said.

"I know," Shepard said. "I would have said yes. I'm sorry I didn't come back."

"It's okay," Liara said, holding Shepard's hand and looking out at the stars. "The universe is safe and we're together. Everything's okay now." They disappeared with Chronos Station as they headed for eternal rest, their long wait over at last.