She is gone. She'll never come back this time.
He'll never see her in the catwalk, in her office, in his conference room or even in front of his desk just to glare at him.
There will never be a chance that she'll stand up from one of those chairs in MTAC and come back to his life again. And it's freakin' so hard to accept that.
What did he do when she was dying in that diner?
Nothing.
He blames himself for her death because he didn't bother to follow her in California even if his gut tells him to. He wasn't there to watch her back. He wasn't there to protect her. It should've been him to be there for her instead of Mike Franks.
But he wasn't there.
That is why here he is… standing in the autopsy room beside a metal table and looking at the black body bag of his 'reason to believe that there is such thing as second chances.'
He built up his courage to look at what he had done to her. His mind was still fighting himself if he would or wouldn't. He was still clutching the zipper.
Would he dare to look at what he had done to her?
He wanted to remember her as the woman who was strong enough to face her demons. The woman who was strong enough to fight for him and save him. The woman whom he fell in love with in Paris. The woman whom he still love every day even though she left him.
He was so busy thinking about her and who she is… was to him that he didn't acknowledge the presence of his friend.
"Jethro?" Ducky called him again. His voice was full of worry and sadness. Worry for his friend because of how will Jethro survive with another death of his love one. Sadness for the death of his friend whom he thought of as a daughter.
Gibbs' head snapped up to meet his friend's eyes. "What Duck?" he asked in a plain tone to hide this feeling that he is experiencing.
He was waiting for his friend's reply until Ducky walked closer to the other side of table.
He looked straight to his friend's eyes, contemplating whether to tell Jethro or not. But he believed that Jethro has the every right to know what he will say.
He inhaled deeply and delivered the news, "Jennifer was pregnant when she died."
Gibbs' hand fell from the zipper. He quickly stormed off but he stopped near the sliding doors. His face was hidden from his friend. He was just standing there with his hands on his sides and his shoulders slumped.
"Do you know gender, Duck?" His voice was thick and icy cold. He didn't want to show any emotions.
"A girl, Jethro."
Ducky heard the door shut and the arrival of the elevator.
At that time, his team didn't question why the elevator stopped. They would assume the reason but of course they're wrong.
And they would never know the reason that he didn't just lost another woman that he truly love since Shannon, he also lost another daughter and he wouldn't give a damn if somebody will ask why the elevator stopped.