Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended
A/N: Just a little warning, there's some mild domestic violence in this fic, nothing graphic but its there and I know that may make uncomfortable reading for some. As always, comments and reviews are greatly appreciated.
Abby stroked the empty space next to her in the bed. It was cold; he had been gone some time. She rolled over, curled herself into a ball and gave a deep sigh, blinking back tears. This was becoming a regular occurrence these days - waking up to find Connor was already fully awake and had left her in bed alone.
It had been three months now since they had returned from their enforced exile in the Cretaceous. They had become very dependent on each other out there, and neither could bear to be separated from the other at first. If she couldn't see where Connor was, she became anxious. After a few weeks, they both began to relax a little - they were safe, they didn't have to look out for each other every waking moment. They had what could be called a 'healthy sex life' and were blissfully happy, until about a month ago. Connor had become obsessed with something that was occupying his mind most of the time, and Abby could feel him slowly drifting away from her.
She crawled out of bed and grabbed Connor's hooded top he'd left discarded on the bedroom floor. She pulled it around her; breathing in the scent that was Connor. She came out of the bedroom and padded sleepily across the hall towards the lounge. It was just as she expected; Connor was sat at the dining table, typing away furiously on his laptop.
"Morning, Connor." she said, kissing his cheek. There was barely a response from him. "How long have you been up?"
"Couple of hours." he muttered.
Abby sighed and went into the kitchen. "Coffee?" she called.
"No thanks."
This obsession was getting out of hand. Today was Saturday, and barring any anomaly alerts they were free to do as they liked. They used to head down to Camden market and browse the many colourful stalls, and then have a pub lunch before braving the supermarket crowds to do their weekly shopping. These last few weekends, Abby had ended up ordering the shopping online and sitting around the flat whilst Connor shut himself away with the computer. She had to put a stop to this now.
"I thought the agreement was that work stuff stayed up in your old room?" she said, coming out of the kitchen.
"It's not work." Connor replied.
"Oh, really?" Abby said, looking over his shoulder. "Is that why you're googling Philip Burton yet again?" Abby was annoyed.
"I can hardly do it at work, can I?" Connor snapped back. "Not when Jess keeps hacking into the ARC files. I've had to change the password 3 times this week."
Abby rolled her eyes and walked away. She knew she would end up strangling him if she didn't. "Jess needs access to the computer systems, Conn. It's her job." She tried to be calm. "And you're not going to find anything on Philip because there isn't anything. You have to start trusting people, Connor."
"I do trust people. I just don't trust these new people at the ARC. There has to be something here." Connor shut Abby out, focusing back on his laptop. Abby shook her head and disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
She stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water to flow over her naked body. She stood completely still with her eyes closed. She was worried about Connor. He wasn't sleeping well, spending most of the night tossing and turning. On the nights when he did eventually drift into a deeper sleep, he would have nightmares. He never spoke about them, just allowed Abby to hold him and comfort him until he went back to sleep. She would caress his clammy body and softly kiss his cheeks, whispering that she loved him and he was safe.
Now he had this paranoia that the new members of the ARC team couldn't be trusted and was determined to find something on one of them that he could go to Lester with. Abby had spent hours trying to make him see sense, and she'd even asked Becker to talk to him because he had already been working with Jess, Phillip and Matt for a year – but Connor just shut them both out and carried on. That was what was hurting the most; it felt like she was losing the Connor she had fallen in love with.
When she emerged from the bathroom, Connor was still glued to the computer screen. "Connor! I don't believe this! It's the weekend, our time together … remember?" she yelled.
"This is important, Abs." he replied, not even looking up.
"I thought our relationship was important too." Abby said. She slammed the bedroom door behind her, coming out a few minutes later fully dressed. "I'm not spending another weekend shut up in this flat whilst you waste your time on this crazy obsession of yours! I'm going out and I want all this stuff back where it should be when I get back, do you hear me?"
"Mm." Connor muttered.
Abby thought she was going to scream if she spent another minute with him. "See you later." She said angrily, grabbing her bag and car keys, and stormed out; slamming the front door just to make her point again. Hopefully, she had shocked Connor into realising what he was doing.
-o-
It was the first time Abby had been out alone since she'd been back. She used to enjoy being alone, but now she just felt lost. She knew deep down that Camden High Street was not the Cretaceous and that she wasn't going to be attacked by a Raptor, but she still felt on edge the whole time; looking over her shoulder constantly. She hated how she felt, she used to be strong and independent. She wished Connor was with her; holding her hand protectively as he had done whenever they moved away from their base camp. Connor made her feel safe.
She felt her eyes sting, and she blinked away the tears that were threatening to trickle down her cheeks. How would she cope if he drifted further away from her? She pulled her mobile from her pocket and went to dial his number but stopped. She had to give him some time alone too. Maybe the problem was that he felt crowded by her? Perhaps being together 24/7 was not healthy for their relationship and they should spend more time doing their own thing?
She took the tube and went into central London, trying to blend in with the crowds on Oxford street and Piccadily Circus. She stopped for a coffee at Starbucks; sitting at a table by the window and watching the world go by. Everyone seemed to be either part of a couple or a group, and it made Abby sad. She didn't even have any friends she could turn to now that Jenny and Sarah had left. Jess seemed a nice enough girl, but she was young and Abby didn't feel like she could connect to her. Wiping her eyes again, she made a decision; she would take up her yoga and kick boxing classes again. It would get her back into the social scene and give Connor his own space for a couple of hours.
Smiling, she made her way to the tube again and headed back to where she had parked her car. By now it was mid-afternoon, and she hoped Connor had done some thinking too. She'd decided to cook his favourite meal, and spend the evening curled up on the sofa talking things over.
She put her key in the lock and opened the front door. "Connor!" she called. Walking into the lounge, she noted that he had at least put the computer equipment away, but there was no sign of him. "Connor, you home?" No response.
Figuring he'd just gone out for some fresh air, she made a start on dinner. Feeling more positive than she had done for several weeks, she found herself singing along to the radio as she chopped vegetables. Rex circled above her head, looking for scraps and chattering excitedly when she passed him a piece of raw carrot.
But her positivity was short lived. Connor hadn't come home by the time dinner was ready, and he wasn't answering his phone. Abby waited and waited, growing more anxious as time passed. It wasn't like Connor to not let her know where he was and she thought about getting in the car to go looking for him. She fiddled with her car keys, debating whether she should go or not and then decided she should wait. He was a grown man after all, and things had been a bit strained between them this morning. She put the TV on, and settled onto the sofa to wait for him.
-o-
Abby woke when she heard Connor's key turn in the door lock. She sat up, rubbed her eyes and glanced at her watch – it was just after 2am. Connor had never been out this late during the three years they had lived together. "Where have you been, Connor? I've been calling you..."
"Out." he said, shortly, throwing his jacket onto the hook by the door. He went into the kitchen and Abby could hear him filling the kettle.
"I was worried about you." she said, standing in the doorway.
"Lost track of time, that's all." he muttered. Abby moved towards him; she wanted to hug him and feel his comforting arms around her, but as she did so she could smell the reason for his lateness.
"You've been drinking?"
"So what if I have?" he said angrily. "I went to see Duncan and we went out to the pub and then back to his place to play on the Xbox, not that it's any of your business!" he pushed past her and into the lounge.
Abby was relieved he'd been with Duncan at least, but angry with him for speaking to her in that tone. "Would have been nice if you'd at least let me know where you were."
"You're my girlfriend, Abby, not my mother!" he spat.
"Fine. Sorry for actually caring about you! I was scared something had happened to you." Abby yelled back. She saw Connor's face crumple and she thought he was going to cry. He moved towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She backed away, the smell of alcohol on his breath made her feel sick and he was swaying. It was obvious he'd had more than just a few drinks.
"What's wrong?" he said, "Why won't you let me touch you?"
"You're drunk." Abby said in disgust.
"Maybe I am! And who can blame me! You've done nothing but nag at me recently. It feels like I can't do anything right!" Connor pulled away from her and began to make his way up the stairs towards his old room.
"Where are you going, Connor?" Abby said.
"Bed." he said flatly. Abby watched him disappear into the room and slam the door. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she began to sob, making her way slowly to her room.
For the first time since before their time in the Cretaceous, they slept in separate rooms.
-o-
It was mid morning when Connor finally emerged from his bedroom. Abby had been awake for a couple of hours and had tried to take her mind off things by cleaning. Sid and Nancy had been particularly destructive overnight, shredding several magazines and newspapers. They wouldn't come near her when she fed them, and even Rex had seemed wary. She guessed they had picked up on her bad mood. Connor looked sheepish as he walked into the lounge, still wearing the clothes he had been in last night.
"Abs, I'm sorry." he said quietly. "I was a bit of a twat last night."
"Yeah, you were. I'm sorry too. Maybe I have been a bit of a nagging housewife lately." She smiled at him. "Come here."
Connor went over to Abby and wrapped his arms around her. "My mum always used to say that you should never let the sun set on an argument." he whispered, squeezing her tightly. "I was an idiot. I had too much to drink and ..."
"It's OK, Conn." Abby looked up at him and their lips met in a warm, soft kiss. "I missed you last night."
"Missed you too." Connor whispered. He kissed her again, a little deeper this time and Abby sighed. "If my head wasn't pounding so much I'd drag you back to bed right now!" he laughed, then winced – his head really hurt and his stomach lurched as if he was going to be sick.
Abby untangled herself from him, and disappeared into the kitchen. "You need some strong coffee, Connor." she called. As she waited for the kettle to boil she leaned against the work top and closed her eyes. This still didn't feel right to her, although she couldn't put her finger on what was wrong. Maybe once his hangover had cleared, she could persuade him to go out somewhere, just the two of them. She longed to be away from the city for a while – the one thing she missed about being in the Cretaceous was being so close to nature.
She took Connor his coffee and snuggled up to him on the sofa as he sipped it. "Thought we might go out for a drive somewhere later, the countryside perhaps." she said.
"Sounds good." he said, putting his arm around her. "You know what I'd really like to do though?"
"What?" Abby smiled and looked up at him. It was the first time in weeks she'd seen him smile properly and her heart skipped a beat. She adored the dimple that appeared on his left cheek when he smiled. His chocolate brown eyes were twinkling too; it was a look she recognised, a look that had made her fall in love with him in the first place.
"I'd like to climb a tree and make love, just like we did that first time when we were in the Cretaceous." he whispered, stroking her hair. Abby sighed, that sounded wonderful. Their first time together had been pretty intense and she'd been shocked at just how good Connor made her feel. "Do you think we'd get away with it here?"
Abby giggled, trying to picture Lester's face if they got arrested for having sex up a tree. "It'll be fun trying!" she replied.
Connor stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up as well. "Let's go now, Abs!" he grinned. Abby felt her knees go weak and her heart pounding as she allowed Connor to practically drag her out of the front door.
-o-
An hour later, they were stood at the base of a carefully selected tree. Abby watched Connor scramble up like a monkey and thought back to a year ago. They often had to climb trees to escape from a creature and she'd had to help him climb even the smallest of trees because of his injured leg at first. He yelled at her to go ahead without him and save herself, but she had always refused; telling him she would never leave him no matter what. It was a promise she still intended to keep.
"I think this is fine, come on up, Abs!" Connor called down. She began her own slow but steady ascent, reaching for Connor's hand as he helped her over the last metre or so. She fell into his embrace and their lips met in a sweet¸ tender kiss.
Connor sighed and broke the kiss. "Tell me what to do, Abby. I just want to make you happy." he whispered.
Abby felt her stomach flip. He'd used those exact words that very first time. If this was the game he wanted to play, then she was more than happy to play along. "Just be yourself, Connor. That's all that matters." she whispered back.
"You're sure? You want me?"
"Yes, Connor. You. I want you to make love to me." Her body was crushed beneath his weight as they eased each other out of their jeans and underwear, and moments later their soft cries punctuated the natural sounds of the surrounding forest. It had been perfect that first time, and it was perfect now.
Neither wanted to move afterwards, and they stayed wrapped in each other's arms. A chill was beginning to fill the air and the late afternoon sunshine was disappearing as evening drew in. "I guess we should make a move." Connor finally said. Abby nodded reluctantly and they both slowly climbed down and headed to the path they'd walked along. They strolled, hand in hand, towards where the car was parked. Suddenly, there was a rustle beside them and Connor froze. "What was that, Abs?"
"Probably a rabbit." Abby said, squeezing his hand and pulling at him to carry on walking.
"It sounded too big to be a rabbit." he said. Abby noticed his eyes had changed. They were wide with fear.
"A deer then!" Abby said. She did think that maybe this was part of the game too, but she decided the look of terror on his face was genuine. He was truly scared that there was something in the forest that might harm them. He was now motioning for her to be quiet, and standing in front of her as if protecting her. "Connor, this is crazy. It's nothing..." she stopped and her jaw dropped open. Connor had reached into his back pocket and had pulled out a wooden knife-like tool. Abby recognised it instantly; he had carved it whilst they were in the Cretaceous and it was stained with the blood of the many creatures he had killed, skinned and gutted with it.
"Put that away, Connor! You can't go pulling a knife out like that in public!" she said, grabbing at his wrist. She wasn't entirely sure what happened next, but she remembered Connor yelling at her to get off him and his arm lashing out in anger at her. She lost her footing and fell backwards, hitting her head against a rock. She remembered looking up and seeing Connor standing over her, shaking. She hardly recognised him; the anger on his face terrified her and his eyes were wildly darting around. Had he just hit her deliberately? Surely not? Her head began to spin, and then she felt sick as everything went black.