-I-
Valka knew it was wrong.
She was being selfish. Stoick deserved better. Hiccup deserved better. But all the same, she couldn't stay in Berk any longer and the thought of leaving her son behind in a village where everyone was judging him and finding him wanting was absolutely unacceptable. She needed to help save the dragons. By herself, apparently, since Stoick wasn't willing to trust her. But that didn't mean she couldn't still take care of her son.
A part of her wondered if she was just being spiteful. After all, leaving her husband and Berk behind was one thing, but taking their four year old son- Stoick's heir- with her as she abandoned her home to help the enemy?
That was adding insult to injury.
Hiccup is meant for bigger things then fighting and feasting. Valka assured herself as she combed her fingers through her sleeping son's auburn locks. And Stoick is far too traditional to see that.
Making up her mind, Valka's hand slipped out of Hiccup's hair and down to his shoulder, giving the four year old a gentle shake until sleepy green eyes opened up.
"Hiccup?" Valka said softly, smiling down at her son. "Wake up, son."
"Nggh… Mama?" Hiccup questioned blearily, sitting up and rubbing his tiny fist into his eyes while giving a big yawn. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, sweetheart." Valka lied with a smile as her heart clenched in her chest. "But Mama's going to go on a trip."
"Oh." Hiccup said, face falling. Though he was only four years old, he knew that trips meant long stretches of time when his mother or father were gone, and he didn't like that at all.
"Don't make that face, Hiccup." Valka scolded gently, petting her son's hair to smooth out his bedhead. "I wanted to know if you would like to come with me."
"Really?" Hiccup asked, visibly surprised. "I can go?" Hiccup never got to go on trips before. None of the kids did, since they were usually too dangerous. It was something that was often complained about by his agemates on Berk, and if any of them found out that he was the first to get to go on a trip, then everyone else would be super jealous. Especially Snotlout.
"Oh course." Valka assured him. "You're a big boy now, aren't you?"
"Yeah!" Hiccup agreed, grinning from ear to ear. "When do we go?"
"Right now." Valka told him. This information made Hiccup's face drop.
"Now?" he said, eyebrows pinching together in confusion. "But it's nighttime. Trips never start at nighttime." Valka frowned at that. Hiccup's perceptiveness was usually something she took pride in, but right now it was working against her.
"This is a special trip, Hiccip." Valka told her son with a conspiring smile. "It's a secret. That's why we have to leave at night."
"A secret?" Hiccup repeated breathlessly, sleepiness forgotten in his rush of excitement. After all, what was more fun than a secret?
"Uh-huh." Valka nodded. "But we have to hurry and leave right now, okay?"
"Okay!" Hiccup agreed as he threw aside his covers.
As he pulled his boots on, Valka packed some of his belongings away in a bag, heart pounding and guilt tearing at her gut. She knew it wasn't right to manipulate her son like this, but she needed to move fast and ensure his silence in their escape. If anyone discovered them, she wouldn't get a second chance to leave without anyone knowing, and she definitely wouldn't be able to take her son with her. The anguish of leaving him behind would be far worse than the guilt of stealing him away.
Bag packed, Valka turned to her son, who was squirming with the excitement of going out on an adventure with his mother. Smiling at him, Valka took his hand and pressed a finger against her lips, a reminder to Hiccup to keep quiet. Hiccup's head bobbed in agreement and with that, Valka took a deep breath and led her son out of his room and down the stairs. Hiccup followed obediently, hesitating only when they got to the bottom step and Valka made for the door, his eyes straying to the room Valka shared with her husband.
"Aren't we gonna say goodbye to Daddy, Mama?" Hiccup asked, puzzled. Goodbyes always happened before anyone left on a trip, and Hiccup didn't see why secret trips should be any different. Valka tried not to feel worse at her son's innocent question, her grip on his hand tightening,
"Daddy had something important to do, Hiccup." She explained, forcing herself not to think about her fight with her husband and the angry, accusing words they had thrown at one another. Or the letter that was waiting for Stoick on their bed when he came back from working off his anger in the Killing Ring, which likely wouldn't be found until nearly dawn. By then, she and Hiccup would be a long, long ways away. "He had to leave already, without saying goodbye. But don't worry, okay? He knows you'll be a good boy for Mama on this trip."
"Oh." Hiccup said, biting his lip. It didn't feel right, not saying goodbye to his father before going away. Whenever Daddy had to leave, Hiccup and Mama always gave him the best goodbye they could, and stayed at the docks and watched the boat sail away until long after it could be seen with the naked eye. Same for when Mama left and Daddy and Hiccup said goodbye to her.
So why wasn't Daddy here to say goodbye to him and Mama, then? What could be more important than that?
Before Hiccup could ask his mother this very question, Valka ushered her son out the door, pressing a finger to her lips again to remind Hiccup to stay quiet. Obediently, Hiccup reluctantly swallowed his questions and followed his mother as she led them through the dark, silent village.
Hiccup had never been out past bedtime before, and the village that was warm, familiar and rowdy during the day was a completely different creature in the darkness of twilight when there was no one else around. The statues all looked very scary and dangerous, and shadows seemed to lengthen and become something quite sinister.
Trembling slightly, Hiccup forgot everything Valka said about him being a big boy as he clenched his mother's hand tighter, walking closer to his mother to try and find some security in her presence. Valka barely noticed, too focused on their escape, but squeezed back comfortingly when she felt Hiccup's hand clench on her own.
Eventually, Valka and Hiccup managed to make their way to the docks, where Valka had a boat prepared for them already. It was a rickety old thing that Stoick had ordered be salvaged for parts, but it would manage for as long as she needed it. Valka had already stocked it with a few provisions and some necessary supplies, but not much. Nothing that the village would miss, either. With one, glaring exception.
Valka's grip tightened on Hiccup's hand for a moment before she unshouldered her bags and tossed them in the boat. She then turning to her son to pick him up and depositing him much more gently into the deck. Working quickly, Valka undid the knots that moored the boat to the pier. Once the boat was free, Valka gave a hearty push from the docks and jumped aboard in one swift, well-practiced move. Once at sea, Valka moved quickly to get them as far from shore as possible, years of experience making the task of sailing- even single-handedly- as easy as breathing for the Viking woman. Within minutes, Berk was a mere speck in the distance and Valka finally felt safe enough to let out shaky breath. It wouldn't take long for the two of them to reach the island where she'd left Cloudjumper, and once they were in the air there was no way Stoick- or anyone from Berk- would ever be able to find them again.
Which was equal parts reassuring and heartbreaking for Valka.
Pushing that thought aside, Valka turned her attention to Hiccup, giving her son a smile when she spotted him standing tip-toed on a box in the very back of the boat, watching as the island he had spent his entire life on floated farther and farther away. He still didn't fully understand what was going on. A part of Valka wondered if he would have come so obediently if he knew that they were never going to see Berk ever again.
Sighing, Valka shook her head to dispel those thoughts and the guilt they carried with them. Berk was no place for her boy. She knew that, just as much as she knew it was no place for her. Stoick didn't understand Hiccup the way she did. No one on Berk understood her boy the way she did. They all thought he was strange, and small, and completely un-Viking.
Well fine, then. If they didn't want Hiccup, she'd keep him for herself.
Making her way to the back of the boat, Valka lifted Hiccup into her arms, pressing her lips against his forehead as Hiccup wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
"Okay, Hiccup." She told her boy with a smile. "We're far enough away now. You can say goodbye, if you want." Hiccup brightened at his mother's permission and turned back to the island of Berk, which he could see a little better now from his higher perch in his mother's arms.
"Bye, Daddy!" Hiccup shouted back at the island happily. "Don't worry, I promise I'll be a good boy for Mama, and I know you'll be a super good chief until we come back and tell you all about everywhere we got to go. Bye, Fishlegs! I know we promised to play tomorrow, but we'll have to do that later. Bye, Astrid! Sorry I got to go on a trip before you. Don't hit me too hard when I come back, okay? I promise I'll bring you something cool. Bye, Snotlout! I'm not sorry I got to go on a trip before you and I hope you're super jealous when you find out! Bye, Ruffnut! Bye, Tuffnut! Don't break any more of my toys while I'm gone! Bye, Gobber! I'm gonna miss all your stories, and I hope you'll show me how to make more blacksmith stuff when I come back! Bye, Bucket! I hope no big storms come soon. Bye, Mulch! Thanks again for giving me the extra fish yesterday for Daddy! I'll see you all again soon, okay? And I promise, I won't mess things up anymore when I get back! I'll be the best Viking ever!"
"That's a nice goodbye, Hiccup." Valka said, hugging her son closer. Hiccup grinned at her in reply.
"Now it's your turn, Mama!" he urged. "You say goodbye, too!"
"I already did, sweetheart." Valka told him, thinking again of the letter Stoick would find on his return home with a heart that felt as heavy as lead. Nevertheless, Valka's eyes settled on the speck that was Berk, and she thought again of the people she was leaving behind. Family, comrades, friends… her husband.
Goodbye. She bid silently to the island and those on it, knowing that the thought would never reach them, but sending it along anyways. Goodbye.
It took them nearly two hours to make land the island where Cloudjumper was staying. After pulling the boat ashore, Valka helped Hiccup get safely on land before unloading all the provisions she could carry. Hiccup pestered her to let him help as she worked, so she gave him the smallest, lightest bag to carry on his own. Even that seemed a bit much for her son, who struggled with the weight, but it gave him something to focus on and kept him from getting bored or finding trouble, so Valka let it be. The night had been very stressful so far and, as much as she loved her son, she didn't think she could deal with his unique brand of curiosity and innocent mischief. Hiccup, for his part, was trying very hard to keep his promise and be good for his mother. He had to be big now, and that meant helping with the tough grown-up stuff like carrying heavy things his mom couldn't hold.
Neither Valka nor Hiccup noticed when a small, plush dragon toy worked itself free from Hiccup's bag as he jostled it while walking, falling to the ground to be left forgotten on the beach.
With a little effort, the duo eventually arrived at the cave Valka had last left Cloudjumper in, and Valka felt all the anxiety and guilt and worry she'd been stewing in up until that point melt away. Finally, she was with her friend again. Finally, she was where everything was right.
"Hiccup." Valka said, stopping to look down at her son. Hiccup stopped and looked back up, big green eyes filled with curiosity. "Before we go any farther, I'm going to introduce you to a very special friend of Mama's. But whatever you do, you can't get scared. Can you do that for me, son?"
"Uh-huh!" Hiccup promised with a nod. Satisfied with her boy's answer, Valka turned back and started into the cave. Hiccup followed suit, until Valka shook her head at the four year old.
"Stay here, Hiccup." She ordered quietly. "Let me bring him out to you, okay?" Hiccup was obviously confused by this request, but obeyed nonetheless. Valka then continued into the cave alone.
She almost cried when she got deeper into the fissure and finally found Cloudjumper, resting patiently as he awaited her return with his head tucked under a wing. Upon hearing her approach, his head snapped up and his bright yellow eyes- filled as always with a patient wisdom that soothed her soul- immediately focused on her.
After that, Valka practically flew across the cave floor, embracing Cloudjumper's neck and burying her face into his scales to inhale deeply, breathing in the scent of smoke and earth and that strange odor that was purely dragon in nature. After her argument with Stoick and the turmoil she faced at basically having to kidnap her own son, it was wonderfully therapeutic to be with her beloved friend again.
"I hope you didn't miss me as much as I've missed you." She told the dragon as she stroked his nose, only halfway joking. Being away from Cloudjumper was like having a piece of her soul kept out of her reach. Crooning low in response, Cloudjumper butted his head against her hand as if to say 'I missed you, too,' making Valka smile warmly at the dragon. "I have someone I want you to meet. He's very special to me, so please behave when I introduce you, alright? I want to leave a good first impression." Cloudjumper gave a curious purr at that before rising to his feet, following Valka as she lead him out of the cave's entrance to meet her son.
When Valka first stepped into view again, it appeared to Hiccup that she was alone. He was about to as where her friend was, but the question died on his tongue before he could begin to form it when a pair of giant yellow eyes glared down at him from the darkness of the cave. Slowing, the eyes came forward, and soon the moonlight illuminated the face they were attached to, squat and solemn, with a plate on its brow that made it look like it was perpetually angry. Rows of sharp teeth extruded upward from its lower jaw, glinting dangerously in the spare light of the night. And as it stepped closer, Hiccup could make out even more details, and each new realization made his eyes widen more. Sharp, deadly talons that almost as long as he was tall, which capped a pair of wings that could probably cover his whole house. Clawed feet that could crush him in an instant. A long, serpentine tail sweeping behind in a slow, hypnotic dance.
Dragon. Hiccup realized, his whole body quaking as the creature in question stopped and loomed over him, like some kind of demon from Hel itself. Seeing the pure, unaltered terror on her son's face, Valka's heart dropped to her stomach as she quickly realize that this meeting wasn't going as well as she'd like.
"Hiccup-" Valka beseeched softly in an attempt to soothe her boy. The sound of his name snapped the four year old out of his terrified stupor and, before she could stop him, Hiccup took off running. "HICCUP!" Valka cried in alarm as her little boy fled. She started forward after him, but barely took two steps before Cloudjumper streaked past her to follow the child.
Oh, no. Valka though, heart practically stopping in her chest. Cloudjumper wouldn't hurt her son, but Hiccup obviously didn't know that, and he was already so scared. If anything happened to her boy- or her dragon- Valka would never be able to forgive herself.
Bolting forward, Valka followed the path Cloudjumper and Hiccup had taken, going as fast as she could in an effort to catch up before anything could happen. She was slowed down by the bags she carried, but in her panic she didn't think to drop them. When Hiccup's scream suddenly pierced the silence of the night, Valka miraculously found another burst of speed, the trees and foliage blurring past as she raced ahead.
When she finally found the two, Hiccup was curled into a shaking ball in front of Cloudjumper's feet, and Cloudjumper was standing on a cliff between her son and a steep plunge into the icy sea below. Valka's heart almost stopped again when she imagined what would've happened to her boy if Cloudjumper hadn't been fast enough to stop him from falling over the edge. Looking down at Hiccup, Valka felt like crying. She'd known that Hiccup was scared of dragons- Nearly all the children in Berk were- but she had hoped that he would understand they weren't as scary as he thought after meeting Cloudjumper. Now she was wondering if maybe she'd made a mistake. Maybe it would've been safer to leave Hiccup with Stoick after all. Trying to ignore these doubts, Valka rushed forward to collect her son in her arms, wrapping his trembling form in her arms and stroking his hair and back in an effort to comfort him as she whispered soft, soothing words.
"It's okay, Hiccup." She whispered into auburn hair as she tried not to tear up, still a little shaken at how close she'd come to losing her son in her reckless hope to introduce him to her dragon. "It's alright. Mama's right here." It probably took nearly ten minutes of her repeating this again and again before Hiccup finally began to calm down and his shaking started to subside. Even then, though, he still looked at Cloudjumper with nothing but fear in his eyes.
"Is it gonna eat me?" Hiccup asked his mother in a little voice, clutching fearfully at her armor as he recalled all the scary stories he'd heard about dragons from his father, Gobber, his uncle Spitelout… virtually everybody. Snotlout would tease him all the time about how someday a dragon would gobble him up in one great big bite. And of course, there was nothing in the world as scary as when there was a raid and the Dragons were flying overhead, grabbing things up and burning everything as they roared loud enough to make Hiccup's ears ring. Getting eaten by a dragon seemed like the scariest thing that could ever happen to the four year old, and he really, REALLY didn't want to experience it for himself.
"No sweetie." Valka assured him, her tone firm and confident. "He's my friend. See? I promise he won't hurt you." Hiccup didn't seem all that assured by his mother's words, so Valka took his chin firmly in her hands and made sure his eyes were on hers so he knew she was completely serious. "Hiccup, you know I would never, ever do anything that could hurt you, don't you my son?"
"Yes." Hiccup answered without hesitation.
"Well don't you think that maybe that's true now, too? If I thought even for a second that this dragon would hurt you, I never would have brought you here. I know he looks scary, but some people think your Daddy looks really scary too. Do you think that's true?"
"Yes." Hiccup answered, with even less hesitation then last time.
Okay, bad example then. Valka realized belatedly with a wince.
"Well do you think Daddy's scary all the time? Like when he helps give you a bath? Or when he lets you ride on his shoulders and plays horsey with you all around the house? Or when he lets you braid his beard? Is he scary then, Hiccup?"
"…No." Hiccup answered, a little reluctantly. He might've been four, but he'd been in trouble enough times to know that this wasn't going his way.
"Well, Cloudjumper here is a lot like your Daddy, Hiccup." Valka explained patiently, ignoring the look of affront Cloudjumper gave her at the comparison to the human who tried to kill him when Valka introduced them. "He's scary sometimes, but he can be nice too, when you're nice to him. That's how he became Mama's friend. And I promise you, Hiccup, he would never, ever hurt you. Would you, Cloudjumper?" Valka directed her last question to the dragon himself, who snorted dryly in response. Hiccup flinched a bit at the noise, but didn't panic again, and even gave the Dragon another glance. She could see in his eyes that Hiccup's fear was giving way to his natural curiosity, and it gave Valka new hope.
Standing up slowly, Valka stepped closer to Cloudjumper, running her hand down the side of his face. Cloudjumper leaned into her touch with a low groan of content as Valka rubbed at one of his favorite places to be pet. From her arms, Hiccup watched this take place, eyes wide in awe at his mother's daring and the way the dragon responded to her touch. Hesitantly, Hiccup glanced down at his own hands, then up again at the dragon that was literally right in front of him. Cautiously, Hiccup reached out towards Cloudjumper, and Valka watched with bated breath as Hiccup inched forward slowly, almost withdrawing his hand a few times before finding his courage again and pressing on. Eventually, tiny digits brushed against the scales of Cloudjumper's nose. Carefully, as not to startle the boy, Cloudjumper leaned in to Hiccup's touch.
A smile blossomed on Valka's face as Hiccup's eyes widened in wonder before an excited grin stretched across his face.
"There, see?" She said to her son. "He's not so scary now, is he?"
"Yes he is." Hiccup said flatly. "…But he's not mean-scary." Valka fought a laugh as she shook her head at her son's stubbornness, before taking him around to the dragon's side and setting him on Cloudjumper's back. Hiccup looked visibly alarmed at the new position.
"Don't worry, Hiccup." Valka assured him before he could protest the fact that he was riding dragon-back. "This is all part of the trip we're taking. It's going to be a lot of fun, I promise."
"I won't fall?" Hiccup asked timidly, trying to peer over the dragon's shoulder to the ground below as his mother secured their belongings behind him with a rope. Cloudjumper's shoulders were too wide though, so Hiccup settled back in fear of toppling to the ground if he leaned over any more.
"You won't fall." Valka promised, smiling at Hiccup as she climbed on behind him. "I'd never let that happen." Reassured by his mother's words, Hiccup gave Valka a nervous grin before reclining back into her embrace as she leaned forward to grasp Cloudjumper's shoulders. "Ready?" she asked, half to Hiccup and half to the dragon.
"Uh-huh." Hiccup answered nervously. Cloudjumper stretched out all four of his wings, eager to take to the skies. As soon as Valka gave him the go-ahead, the dragon was airborne. At first, the takeoff alarmed Hiccup, but after a few minutes, her son began to relax again and it wasn't long until Hiccup was absolutely mesmerized with all the sensations of flying. Valka couldn't help but smile as Hiccup stared in wonder all around him, feeling truly happy for the first time in a long, long time. Pulling her eyes off of her son, Valka looked before her, at the expanse of sky and sea that stretched unbroken as far as the eye could see.
"Look at how big the world is." Valka said softly to Hiccup, smiling when he looked up curiously at her words. "There's so much of it we haven't been able to see. But you know, I bet we'll get a lot farther if we can learn to work together with dragons like Cloudjumper. That's what I want to do, Hiccup. I want to learn everything I can about Dragons, and show the world that they're not evil monsters like everyone thinks. And I want you to help me do that."
"Me?" Hiccup repeated, scrunching his nose in confusion.
"That's right." Valka assured her son with a smile. "You're the only one I can trust to help me." At least, he was now that Stoick had refused to even consider the idea of making peace with the dragons. "We're going to do something no Viking has ever done before, you and me." Hiccup grinned, liking the sound of that. His mother was always the one to help him when the other kids made fun of him, or when one of the grownups got mad when he messed up. It made him feel special and important, to be able to help her now too.
"Okay!" He agreed happily. "I'll be the best help ever!"
"I know you will, Hiccup." Valka reassured her boy warmly, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head before urging Cloudjumper forward. Away from Berk, and Stoick, and everything other than her dragon and her son and the future she saw with both of them.
And never once did Valka look back.