Epiphany
There are moments in life where you feel like the world stops moving around you and you're the only one still breathing. Closed eyes, your heart pounds as a feeling blossoms in your chest and suddenly you understand. Everything has changed, everything is somehow clearer, brighter.
And as you open your eyes, the light moves, focusing solely on one being. Not quite as blinding anymore, it softens into a diffuse halo, of a blue so achingly familiar. Tenderness warms your heart, spreading through your body with unexpected fierceness and a name falls slowly from your lips, sacred, barely a whisper.
Castle
She can't sleep.
5h30
She groans. Too early to get up, but too late to go back to sleep.
Besides, she's too comfortable, cocooned as she is under the sheets, the length of her body pressed against the solid frame of her boyfriend.
Castle
Legs entangled, the broadness of his shoulders dwarfing her, she feels at home and safe. Her hands travel up his torso, stops at his heart and she shifts to place her head over it, the regular thump of it feeling like music to her ears. It's silly, she thinks, but she needs it, she needs to make sure he's alive and well beside her after the events of the day before.
As terrified as she was for Ryan and Espo, she's relieved it wasn't Castle in their situation. She felt feels guilty about because, really, what kind of partner is she if that's what comes first to her mind in life-threatening situation?
One that's madly in love with her fiancé?
She snorts at her Castle-like inner thought.
But he's right, she is madly in love with him and it makes her selfish. She knows if she was in Jenny's situation, she wouldn't have pulled through with half the courage and strength as Kevin's wife.
Just thinking about it makes her heart constrict, fear tugging her chest, clogging her throat, making her breathless. To be so helpless, when all she wants to do is kick every obstacle to get to him, it would've driven her insane.
A ray of sunshine finds a way to cheat the blinds, catching the slope of his nose, dancing over his sharp cheekbones, his defined jaw.
God, he's beautiful and I love him. So much.
She lifts her hand to caress the soft skin of his face, tracing the deep-etched laugh lines around his eyes, brushing back a strand of soft brown hair flopping over his forehead.
A realization strikes her, all of the sudden. She doesn't want to wait anymore. Watching Ryan and Jenny reunite in the ambulance, their love strong and certain, made her long to have what they have. A family, a stability she didn't know she needed in her life. To claim him as hers, officially, and surrending herself to him as well.
Castle
She wants him and the craziness of the wedding, to be whisked away for their honeymoon and the kids, oh god, she wants them, perfect little humans half him, half her.
She wants them to grow old and grey and she pictures him telling their story to their grandkids, captivated by his voice and enchanted by his words.
She wants so many things, her imagination running wild with flashes of what their future might look like.
She's filled with something like trepidation, can't wait for Castle to get up, because she needs to share this with him, needs him to understand.
Oh Castle.
But for now, she's content with the stillness and the calm of dawn, the peace of the semi-darkness, the warmth of their bodies touching, every inch of them connected. And later, she would tell him.
She's ready for forever.
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