AND after the LONG tedious world of Stage Managing musicals I am back and have finally started the continuation. Thank you to all who read and reviewed "Playing with Fire" and asked me to continue...this is for you and I hope that you like it!
Reviews/comments are MUCH loved and appreciated...always helps to know if there is a reason to keep writing :)
To my lovely, lovely betas - Stella, Marjo and Nick - you are the most amazing people in the world!
Disclaimer - I do not own Castle...sadly :(
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Richard Castle was panicking and he knew it. He was experiencing all the classic symptoms - his chest was tightening, his fingers were tingling, his head was pounding and he could not catch his breath. - Yes, he was definitely in panic mode. He was trying to stay calm, with the mantra just keep calm, just keep calm running through his mind – but it was more and more difficult with each second Katherine Beckett did not answer her phone. He tried again, the phone mocking him with its continual ringing, and with each trill of the ringtone, his panic rose. She always picked up her phone before the sixth…seventh…eighth ring. – but not tonight – and that was the cause of his rising panic. It had been a week since the Heat Wave premiere. Just a week since the night Kate Beckett professed she remembered his graveyard confession of love. Only a week since they had decided to be together... A whole week since the mysterious caller had told him to decide.
Whom do you protect? Echoed through his mind and sent chills racing down his spine. The voice had seemed so dark, so calculating, so…calm. He still was not certain if he should construe the words as a simple question, or as a threat. A question of his dedication, his loyalty…his love; that he could handle, but a threat? How could he protect his family and Kate at the same time?
When the call went to her voice mail once again he hung up the phone, grabbed his keys and his coat and ran from his loft. He quickly locked the door and, skipping the slow-moving elevator, pushed open the door to his building's stairwell. He took the stairs two at a time, nearly tripping down at least half of them, his heart pounding relentlessly in his throat. Once he escaped the building he hailed a cab. He climbed into the bright yellow vehicle, directing the cab driver to Kate Beckett's address as he dialed her again. He allowed the scream he had been holding in to escape his throat when she again did not answer, making the cab driver start slightly and gaze at him disapprovingly in the rear view mirror.
"Sorry." He said as the cab driver narrowed his eyes at him and then looked back to the road. After the sixth time she did not answer he started to fidget in his seat and wondered why the cab was not moving fast enough. An eternity later, they arrived in front of her building and he pushed the door open falling from the cab as he tossed bills at the driver yelling "keep the change" as he rushed to the door of Kate's building. He pulled out his keys, found the one labeled "KB" and stuck it in the keyhole. With his first obstacle tackled, he raced up the stairs – two at a time, and tripping less this time – to her door. With his keys still in his hand he unlocked her door and stumbled into her apartment screaming her name at the top of his lungs.
"KATE!" he looked around her apartment, frantically searching for any sign of her.
"Castle? What the hell?" he turned toward the sound of her voice and saw her standing in her bedroom doorway. Her eyebrows were raised and he saw she had one headphone bud in her hand, with the other in her ear connected to the back pocket of her jeans where he guessed her iPod rested. He could hear the faint strains of Def Leppard seeping from the speakers as he ran to her and engulfed her in his arms. Kate's arms encircled his waist and she could feel his labored breathing crackling in his chest as it pressed against hers. She felt his hand in her hair clinging to the back of her skull as he placed soft kisses on the top of her head.
"Rick…" she said quietly, "What's going on?" He pulled away from her just enough to look at her, just enough to see the look in her soft green and gold flecked irises. He could not stop a tear from falling down his cheek. Kate lifted her hand to his cheek to wipe the tear away, letting her palm linger on his warm skin. "Rick?" He placed his hands on either side of her face as she let her hands move to rest on his hips.
"I called, you didn't pick up. I panicked…" his voice trailed off as his eyes closed.
"I was cleaning…had my headphones in." She started to explain.
"I figured, once I saw the buds in your ears…"
"After you busted in here?"
"Well…"
"You know, we exchanged keys in case of emergency…"
"Yeah…"
"So you figured me not answering my phone was an emergency?"
"Well…" He said slowly, looking from her face to the floor and began to examine the grooves in her floorboards, his hands falling from her face. She placed her hand under his chin and lifted his eyes to meet hers. He could not help the small smile that took over his face when he saw the look in her eyes.
"Oh, haha, cute!"
"HA! You know…that never gets old!"
"Thanks for messing with me when I'm freaking out over your safety!" He tried to put on a hurt and dejected face, but she had seen it many times before and it always made her laugh.
"I'm sorry…"
"Well, considering the last time I tried to call you and you didn't pick up a mad man nearly blew you up…I think I have a right to panic when you don't pick up your phone!" his earlier fear started seeping into his voice and her heart fluttered as she heard the terror.
"Hey…" she said, concern in her voice as she drew his eyes back towards her. "You're really upset…"
"It's nothing really, I overreacted."
"I'm sorry I teased you." Before he could respond she applied just enough pressure to her hands, which were still resting on his hips, and pulled him to her as their lips touched. She was so warm and inviting and he let his hands roam her face and neck, before finally burying them in her long, loose waves. She let herself linger in the moment as they slowly discovered each other's mouths, biting lips and tongues intertwining. When they finally broke apart they were both breathless and holding tightly to one another. Her hands roamed over the muscles of his back as his traced the delicate features of her face.
"Are you really okay?" she finally asked.
"Yeah. I'm just glad you're alright." He said, a breathless quality in his voice.
"I'm fine, Rick."
"I can see that NOW!" he smiled as she pushed him away and grabbed her iPod from her back pocket. She turned the stream of music off and wrapped her headphones around the device as she walked toward her kitchen island and unlocked her iPhone. She touched the screen and pulled up her missed calls list.
"Six missed calls in…less than ten minutes. That's impressive."
"Just keep it coming…"
"No, I'm done now. So you staying for a bit or are you going to skulk out of here?"
"Stay, huh?"
"Not like that…" she said with raised eyebrows. Wasn't that line normally his? God what has he done to me? She mused as she walked back toward her room, passing him in the process.
"Like what then?"
"How about dinner? I'm starving…"
"Well you've been 'cleaning', and that always makes me hungry" he said, making her laugh with his use of finger, air quotes over the word "and, of course, ignoring your boyfriend's phone calls. Makes him feel very wanted."
"I was cleaning!"
"Still doesn't mean you can ignore your phone…"
"I apologize! I will keep my phone on me at all times!" she leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips, backing away she fixed him with what he could only call her bedroom eyes, making his heart beat quicken and his head go fuzzy: "Better?"
"Oh, yeah." He sighed.
"So Chinese work for you?" she asked, drawing his attention back to her. From the look on his face she knew where his mind had wandered and she raised her eyebrows at him as her hands found her slender hips. "Castle?"
"Yeah," he startled, "Yeah, Chinese sounds good…"
"Great. I'm gonna go change." She turned to walk toward her bedroom and looked back over her shoulder to drop a quick wink in his direction. He closed his eyes as his arm reached out for the nearest wall to keep him from falling over. All he could think at that moment was how much he loved Kate Beckett. Then once again his mind wandered over the words he had rehearsed a hundred times, maybe even a thousand, in his head – I've been investigating your mom's murder behind your back. They said they would kill you if you kept going…I couldn't lose you again. They said they would kill you. Nothing sounded right…
Less than a minute later, Kate exited her room in dark skinny jeans and a gray V-neck tee, interrupting his musings. She sat down at her kitchen island to put her black flats on and then looked up to find Castle's eyes fixed on her. Smiling she straightened up and met his gaze with her own:
"Enjoying yourself, Castle?"
"Fantastic view…" he responded with a flick of his eyebrows. He walked to her and extended his hand. Kate placed her hand in his and stood from the stool. She grabbed her purse off the table, making certain he noticed her place her phone inside, then drew out her keys.
"Ready?"
"Let's go." He said.
They walked from her apartment in the chilled fall air and in the darkness she allowed herself to reach for his hand, relishing in the warmth of his touch as it radiated up her arm. Kate glanced at him, and in the light of the street lamps she could just make out the smile that spread across his face. It was a quiet night in Manhattan and she realized she was perfectly content walking along the street, hand-in-hand, with him. They arrived at the small Chinese restaurant less then ten minutes after leaving her apartment and the hostess led them to a small table near the back, where they sat, with their knees touching under the table. Menus were offered and drinks ordered, and the entire time he was fixated on her – memorizing the way her features looked in the soft glow of the ambient light of the restaurant.
"Ok, how did you even find this place?" he finally asked after their drinks were set down in front of them.
"I was wandering around one night after I moved in, just getting a feel for the neighborhood, when I stumbled across it. I came in and tried their Tea Smoked Duck and was hooked. Ended up talking with the owners – adorable little Chinese couple and their three children – who immigrated here from the Sichuan Province." She pointed to an older woman standing at the entrance to the kitchen and Castle smiled.
"Cause just walking past it you would think it was a dump…" he said quietly.
"Oh it's definitely a little hole in the wall…"
"I'd say so!"
"Don't count it out yet. Trust me – the food is amazing!"
"Alright, Detective, I'm game. What would you suggest?"
"I would go with the La Zi Ji – Chicken with Chili or dandan mian – the DanDan noodles."
"And you will be having?"
"The Tea Smoked Duck…I've tried everything else and it's still my favorite!" The waitress approached the table again and took their order. Castle ended up ordering both the Chicken with Chili and the DanDan Noodles, deciding that whatever they didn't finish could be taken home for Alexis. Once the food arrived, however, he noticed how they quickly began sharing portions of their dishes. A spoonful here, a quick bite there…every time she looked at him he couldn't help but smile, which lit up his face and made her cheeks flush. Though as much as he tried not to think about it, his thoughts continued to wander to the words he could not utter to her. Please, tell me you'll forgive me.
He was looking at his phone again. Kate could barely remember Castle being so completely quiet, and it was starting to unnerve her. Normally their companionable silence was welcomed and satisfying. Tonight though, something was off and she could not put her finger on it. He might be walking right next to her, but his mind was somewhere else, far off.
After dinner they had decided to take the longer path back to her apartment, which conveniently passed right by one of her favorite coffee shops in the area – a fact she had not mentioned to him. Kate struggled to keep the smile from overtaking her face as they neared the corner where the tiny café rested. Just before they rounded the corner, her pulling faintly on his hand to make certain he was following, he slowed. Startled she turned toward him, her smile fading slightly.
"We have to head back this way" she said pointing in the direction she intended, "to get back to my place. You alright?" she let her head fall just to the side and gazed at him through narrowed eyes her lips coming apart just so as she contemplated the look on his face.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He said halfheartedly. He knew she could tell he was lying. He was not fine and he was not certain he could convince her he was.
"Rick…" she said stepping closer to him and grabbed his other hand, enveloping it in hers. He looked down at their clasped hands as she drew them up in between their chests. He took a deep breath in an attempt to gather his courage, just get it over with.
"Kate, there's something…"
"Beckett?" "Castle?" the familiar voices from the dimly lit street behind him resounded in the stillness of the nighttime around them and they both looked in the direction of the sound.
"Lanie, Espo?" Kate said as they both instinctively moved from each other. Instantly her fingers, arms and chest felt heavy and chilled without the weight and warmth of him near. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Javier wanted to try out that Italian place we went to two weeks ago" Lanie said motioning toward Kate.
"She's been raving about it since you went, so I figured I should try it."
"And?" Kate asked as she crossed her arms over her chest trying to regain a portion of the warmth she felt with hers and Castle's hands clasped in between them…radiating heat.
"It was good…" he said. Kate noticed Lanie roll her eyes and then smack him in the arm lightly.
"Javier! Please…"
"What? It was."
"Oh, it was good."
"Yeah, that's what I said."
"This from the man who was practically moaning in ecstasy before the entrée even came out."
"What? I was not…" Esposito began.
"Don't even get me started about the dessert!"
"That was the most amazing Tiramisu I've ever had, it was like heaven…" he whispered intently toward Lanie's ear. Though not low enough for their companions to miss even a word he said.
"Heaven, really?" Castle said jokingly. "You've tasted heaven?" Before the words were even out of his mouth he felt the sharp jab from Kate's elbow in his side and he sputtered in an attempt to catch the words and shove them back into his mouth.
"Well…" he said with an eyebrow raised as he turned seductively toward Lanie. Before another word could escape his lips Lanie hastily placed a hand over his mouth as she met Kate's eyes.
"Baby…not going there." Lanie stated sweetly but emphatically, with just a hint of what Castle could only call her one more word and I will show you how my scalpel works voice. He recognized it because it was eerily similar to Kate's one more word and I will show you how my Taser works voice. Neither one held much hope for the receiver if he wanted to remain possessed of all of his appendages.
"So what about you two?" Lanie asked with that tone in her voice making Kate raise an eyebrow in her best friend's direction.
"What about us?" Castle asked.
"What are two doing out here, it's getting a little late."
"Well, just finished a case and decided dinner would be good…" Castle said.
"Yeah which is why WE were out…" Esposito said once Lanie removed her hand from his face. "And Ryan and Jenny went out for the night as well. You guys just decided you might as well get some dinner and take a walk…just the two of you…" For some reason Kate's narrowed eyes did not have the effect on Esposito that it had on Castle and Ryan and she did not like it. She was staring him down, and he was staring right back at her. Damn, Espo, she screamed at him in her head willing him to back down. But he was a cop too, and though she was an excellent bluffer he was also a good interrogator.
"Actually Beckett had other plans but I showed up all whiney and lonely and she took pity on me. Alexis is out with her friends and mother had class tonight, and as I was all by my lonesome in the loft I decided to go bug her and drag her away from her oh, so exciting night of cleaning her apartment."
"You know what, maybe I actually LIKE cleaning…"
"Beckett, no one likes cleaning. They do it because they have to or they need to, not because they want to!"
"Then who in the world cleans up after you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"If you don't clean, and I know Martha doesn't…did Alexis? And now that she's at school? Who keeps you from looking and smelling like Pig Pen?"
"Pig Pen?" Esposito chimed in.
"Charlie Brown…" Castle and Kate answered in unison causing Lanie and Esposito to share an eyebrow raised look, which was punctuated with sly smiles.
"I do know how to clean and do laundry you know, I'm not a complete hobo."
"Oh, but you only do it when it's absolutely necessary…"
"Well…" she had that look on her face. The look that said she had just backed him into a corner and she had won. He hated that face, yet loved it all in the same breath, and he was overcome with the desire to wipe it from her face with a series of intense kisses that would leave them both gasping for air. He had never hated Esposito and Lanie – but in that moment, he was very close to it.
"So you just decided to get some dinner and then walk around? Just the two of you?"
"Well, like you said" Kate began, turning from Castle toward Lanie and Esposito "you guys were busy and Ryan and Jenny were doing date night, we didn't want to disturb you…"
"And like I said, Mother and Alexis are both out and Jim is…" he trailed off looking to Kate.
"At the cabin…" Kate finished, "for another week."
"So who else would we have to hang out with except each other?" Lanie narrowed her eyes at the couple and shifted her gaze back and forth – Rick, Kate, Rick again – studying them like lab rats. She was turning her keen ME eyes on them and it made Castle squirm a bit. All he could think was that it was a good thing the people who see that look the most are already dead, cause it would likely unnerve them completely. At least that's what it was doing it to him. He looked to Kate and was amazed to see her meeting Lanie's gaze with her own. No wonder they were such good friends – they both had similar tricks.
"Lanie, come on we should get going, it's getting late. Let these two get back to…hanging out" he said with a tone that made Kate imagine he would be utilizing the finger air quotes if he knew it would not get him smacked and/or shot.
"Sure. Night Kate. Night Castle." Lanie said, that sing song quality in her voice that told Kate she would be getting a phone call from her friend very soon to discuss certain perceived truths about tonight's encounter. Lanie slipped her arm through Esposito's and they turned and walked back the way they had come. Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, Castle was standing back in front of her.
"That was close." He said.
"Yes it was. God, what were they doing over here? Neither one of them really lives that close – they're at least 15 blocks away."
"Um Kate…"
"What?"
"Do you not realize how far you walked us?"
"What?"
"We're actually further from your place than you think…"
"What are you talking about?" she moved away from him and toward the corner. "I have a great sense of direction. The café I go to almost every weekend with my dad is right…" she turned the corner and looked into the café window. Only it was not a café. She was looking directly into a Moroccan Restaurant. "What the hell?" she registered her own surprise and the laughter behind her at the same time. "What are you laughing about?" she said as she rounded on him.
"Nothing."
"Oh, I don't think so, Mr. Castle."
"Just…you and your sense of direction…"
"Shut up." She said as she smacked him lightly on the upper arm making him laugh harder.
"Maybe we should just head back to your place, it's getting late."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Want me to lead?" she fixed him with narrowed eyes as he began to walk just ahead of her.
"Yuck it up, writer boy!"
"Ouch, low blow!"
"Well, it's your own damn fault." Standing even with him she took a step forward, walking back in the direction they had come from.
"Um…" Castle hummed and stopped walking.
"What now?" she turned toward him but kept moving ever so slightly backwards as she examined him.
"You sure you want to go back the same way Lanie and Esposito just left?"
"Yeah why?"
"Do you think they're far enough ahead of us?"
"What's wrong, Castle, you don't think you'll be able to contain yourself walking along the street?" he could almost feel the sarcasm dripping off her voice it was so thick.
"I am containing myself just fine, thank you, Detective. It's you I'm worried about."
"Me?"
"Yeah…"
"Why me?"
"Because you're the one who almost outed us back there, in case you hadn't noticed."
"I did not!"
"Oh, yes you did."
"How did I almost out us?"
"Please, you could barely even form a sentence when they asked us what we were doing out here together."
"That is not…"
"Yes it is…and I am SO going to win this bet!" he gave a small fist pump in the air making her roll her eyes. Ah, how he loved it when she did that.
"You?"
"Yup."
"Win the bet?"
"That's what I said."
"That'll be the day…"
"Oh just wait, Detective. I will be the very picture of decorum and YOU will not be able to keep your hands off me. Just give it time."
"If anyone is going to be winning that bet - it's me, because YOU can't keep your mouth shut! You just always have to be making some coy, flirty, dirty little comment."
"Yes see, that would be the point, even if I do it now…they won't think anything of it because I do it all the time!" He let a wink fall in her direction before he began walking back toward her apartment once again leaving her standing on the barely lit sidewalk with narrowed eyes trained on him and her lips pursed into a smile. She knew he was probably right and she was cursing herself for agreeing to the stupid bet. But she was stronger than he and more resolved to not be the one to cave, to be sure that she was not the reason their friends and co-workers found out about them. Alright, Castle, she thought as she caught up to him and slipped her hand into his, let's see just how reserved you can be.
She looked at her watch for the tenth time in less than a minute. It was still 10:58pm. Looking around the parking level one more time to ensure no one was watching, she took a deep breath in.
"You know you really should be more careful." She started slightly as she heard the low voice behind her. She turned toward her companion with narrowed eyes.
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Anyone could surprise you the way you're looking around…didn't I tell you to make sure you have a wall to your back?"
"How could I possibly forget that?" she asked mockingly fixing him with a small smile. "You know, Jeremiah, we could always do this the easy way." She said.
"Oh Victoria, where would the fun be in that?" she could hear the slight smile in his voice even if she could not see it.
"What did you need to see me about?"
"What do you think?" his voice low and serious.
"Him or her?"
"Him." Jeremiah Smith responded. Victoria Gates took another deep breath. This time she held it in and closed her eyes before she exhaled. She opened her eyes and fixed the older man with a direct stare, lips thinned into a line.
"What about him?"
"He's been digging."
"What?" her incredulity and irritation seeping out of her tone.
"He's been going at Jordan Norris."
"For?"
"For the name, what else?"
"Castle." She said under her breath, an undercurrent of agitation and disbelief edging her voice.
"You really don't like him do you?"
"Not particularly…especially now. Why is he digging into this?"
"Victoria, you know why."
"Beckett." She said plainly looking to him.
"And he's going to get himself, and her killed."
"Her safety is predicated on HER involvement in the case not his. She should be safe; that was the deal Roy made. That was the deal you made!"
"But they could take him out…and then what do you think she'll do?"
"You really think they would be stupid enough to throw kerosene on a wild fire? Because you and I both know that if they do anything to Castle…it would only serve to make Beckett more determined to get to them. Nothing would be able to stop her - not me, not anyone."
"I think they'll do whatever they think they need to in order to finally take her out. If that means taking him out first…" he trailed off and met her eyes.
"What do you expect me to do, Jeremiah?"
"I expect you to make certain she is safe and that he doesn't do something rash."
"Basically making sure they don't act like themselves, oh certainly, that will be so simple." She responded with an air of sarcasm.
"You have to try Victoria."
"You know I will." She said after a moment.
"I know…" he responded. He turned from her and began to walk away; the sound of her voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Jeremiah…" he turned back toward her and fixed his gaze on hers. He noticed her eyes were shinning slightly, a list mist clouding them almost imperceptibly. Anyone else would likely have never noticed it. "Do you really think they would do something to him? Just to keep their indiscretions from coming to light?"
"Victoria…you were IA. You know better than most what lengths people will go to protect themselves, their careers, the lives they've built. Underestimating their misguided, primal need to preserve that may be your Detective's biggest downfall. Roy tried…"
"And if she did not even listen to him…"
"Why would she ever listen to you?"
"Exactly."
"Victoria, I came here because Roy respected you. He trusted you. He said that I could as well and I'm hoping he was right." He regarded her with a last look of concern and then turned to walk away leaving Victoria Gates staring at the empty, dimly lit parking garage around her.