Disclaimer: Me + Don't own = Marvel + Don't sue.
Summary: While the Professor is out of town, the X-gang gets their hands on a bunch of fan
fiction...and a fan fiction drinking game...
WARNING: Total character assassination & general chaos.
Classification: Sillyfic
Pairing: R/L, J/S
Rating: PG...I think.
Feedback: Oh yes, oh yes, oh YES!!! (that means, "of cause I want feedback!").
Mail it to hack_heaven@usa.net
~...~ indicates telepathy.
Fan Fiction
(- Or "I'll never, ever look at a fanfic drinking game again!")
By Sorcieré
"Oh mah GAWD!!!" Rogue put her hands over her mouth, but didn't look away from the computer
screen.
Logan noticed her grin and got curious.
"Whatcha readin', Darlin'?" He asked, then got a good look at the screen. He raised an eyebrow.
"Creative", he remarked, summing it up pretty nicely.
He put his lips next to Rogue's ear.
"I wonder if it'd work?" He whispered seductively.
Rogue didn't get a chance to answer as Jean Grey, Cyclops and Storm stepped into the room.
"What on Earth are you reading?" Jean asked. "I could feel your amusement from the other end of
the school."
Rogue quickly found another story.
"Fan fiction", she answered.
"Fan fiction?" Scott asked.
"Yeah. Y'all wouldn't behlieve the things thay write!"
The other three X-Men walked over to look at the screen as well.
Cyclops skimmed the page.
"I did _not_ propose to Jean dressed in a chicken suit!!!" He declared halfway through the story.
"Just wait, it'll get even better", Rogue giggled.
Storm's eyes widened as she read on. Then she sent Cyclops a funny look. He looked back at her
suspiciously.
"What?" He demanded.
Storm giggled, and Logan grinned gleefully.
"Well, I haven't heard of blue paint, a sponge, a shower and two yellow spandex uniforms
combined in _that_ way before", Jean remarked.
"Whoever wrote this certainly didn't lack creativity", Storm said, trying to hide a grin.
Scott shook his head and sighed.
"You got that one right."
Logan noticed Storm's amusement and decided to have some fun, too.
"Hey, 'Ro. Ya gonna love this", he said and clicked on another fic.
Storm's laugh stopped very suddenly. Scott, though, actually managed to grin.
"Me and Creed?" Storm said disbelieving.
"Me and SABERTOOTH?!?" She repeated, a crash of thunder empathising each of her words.
"And just when I thought the hurricane season was over", Jean complained as the wind picked up.
Outside, hails the size of tennis-balls began to fall.
"Ya know, 'Ro, I don't think ya garden's gonna like those ice-balls", Logan remarked. Rogue
quickly found another page and, almost reluctantly, Storm stopped the hails and the wind.
"This one seems pretty harmless", Scott said. Then he paled. "On second thought..."
"Bad mental picture!!" Rogue agreed. "That was something Ah did NOT want to know!"
"You know, I don't think I'll ever be able to look Bobby and Gambit in the eyes again and keep a
straight face", Jean remarked as she found yet another fic.
"Ah don't think 'straight' is the word Ah'd use..."
Logan quickly choked a grin.
"Aren't there _anything_ that is just fairly normal?" Scott asked.
"Ummm...Ah don't think you'd like the NC-17 section", Rogue said, and, after Scott's glance,
quickly added: "Not that I would know where it is."
"How about this one?" Jean asked.
"Bad idea", Rogue warned, but neither Jean nor Scott listened to her.
"What?!" Cyclops exclaimed. "Whoever wrote this actually think I'd leave Jean for a Mary Sue??
And a badly written one, on top of that!"
"Ah warned ya..."
"Goddess knows I have seen a lot of Mary Sues in my life, but this one takes the prize," Storm
remarked.
"Where'd we leave that 'checklist'?" Logan grumbled as he dug through a stack of papers. "Here
we go.
"Rogue grabbed the list from him.
"'Her past it tied to Logan's or Gambit's.'", she read.
"Check...another one with adamantium-claws. How original", Logan growled.
"'She is beautiful, graceful, has unusual physical features, speaks several languages and is usually a
good singer. She is often a better fighter than the entire X-men team combined.'"
"Check...and she's protected by a God."
Rogue raised an eyebrow.
"That's a new one. 'Everybody likes her. She is either the child of one of the main-characters or, if
she is a bit older, becomes the lover of one of the characters'."
"Check...and she chooses One Eye of all people. Doesn't that count for extra?"
"Nope. 'In the end of the story she will either marry one of the characters, or die a heroic death and
is mourned by all.'". Rogue raised an eyebrow. "Could we be so lucky that she actually dies?"
"Sorry to break it to ya, darlin', but she marries Scooter and they live happily ever after", Logan
said. He looked at Cyclops. "I almost feel sorry for you...almost."
"I'm touched", Scott remarked sarcastically.
"Okay", Jean said, grabbing the keyboard. "Is there _anything_ that isn't NC-17, Mary Sue or just
generally sick?"
Rogue took back the keyboard.
"Umm...Angst?"
"No. We get enough of that as it is - I *am* a Summers, after all," Jean explained.
"Fair 'nuff. Okay...a fic with character death?"
"Goddess, no!" Storm exclaimed. "The last time we read one, everyone was depressed for days!"
"Ooookay...PWP?"
"What?" Scott, Jean and Storm asked simultaneously.
"It stands for 'Plot? What Plot?'" Logan said. "It's a porn...ehh...nevermind."
Everyone looked at him.
"What? Marie just reads a lot of fanfic, that's it", he tried to lie, actually blushing a little. Rogue
elbowed him.
"Whatever you say, Logan", Jean snickered.
"How about some good ol' romance?" Rogue asked.
"I've got all the romance I need right here", Scott said and kissed Jean.
The three other X-men (and -woman) groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Get a room!" Rogue said. Reluctantly, one pair of the resident lovebirds let go of each other.
"You done? Good. How 'bout some humour?" The southern belle suggested.
"Humour? That doesn't sound too bad", Jean admitted with a smile.
"Hey, here's somethin'", Logan said. "An X-Men fanfic drinking game."
"Not fair, Wolvie. Ya've got one heck of an advantage!" Rogue protested.
"Well, one of us gotta be able to help the other in bed..."
Rogue raised an eyebrow at Logan's suggestive voice.
"Drinking game it is!" She quickly agreed.
"Well, since there's nothing better to do..." Storm said. "Count me in."
Jean and Scott traded a look.
"Sure, we're on."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
5 minutes later...
"Okay, found a couple of long fics!" Jean declared.
"How's the liquor goin', Marie?" Logan yelled through the door.
Rogue and Storm came into the room, carrying a lot of bottles and some glasses. Behind them came
Jubilee, Bobby, St. John and Kitty.
"They wanted in, too", Storm informed.
Logan shrugged.
"Sure. The more, the merrier."
Scott was about to say something about kids and drinking when Jean elbowed him, and he wisely
stayed quiet.
The now pretty large group grabbed their glasses and gathered on various couches and chairs.
"Okay, everyone. Here're the rules. Anyone finds anything that's on the list, and we drink. Any
questions?"
Logan looked around. Apparently everyone got the message. Jean found the first fic and put it on a
large screen. The game was about to begin.
"I got the first! 'Rogue' is misspelled!" Kitty yelled. Everyone drank.
Bobby pointed.
"I've got another one!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1 hour later...
"And it's a Schummers!" Storm giggled. Everyone took a sip.
"Another one? That makes..." St. John tried to count but failed miserably. "That makes a LOT of
Summers!"
"Or winters!" Jubilee snickered.
"One more?" Logan groaned. "I need a drink!"
"Let's aaaaaaaaaaall drink to that!" Bobby said and chugged.
"And Rogie's in bed with Bob-by!!" Kitty giggled and pointed to the screen.
"EWW!! Now *I* need a drink!" Rogue said and grabbed Logan's glass.
"Oh, look! Someone hit Scott!" Jean exclaimed.
Logan looked at the screen and grinned smugly.
Everyone chugged.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Another 30 minutes later...
"MARY SCHUE!!!" Yelled Rogue and drank. The rest of the X-gang followed suit.
"And sche's more powerful than AAAALL of us combai...combe...together!" St. John said.
Another drink.
"And she marries...she marries..." Kitty bravely tried to force out the words, but she tumbled down
the couch in a fit of laughter.
"Cyke!" Rogue managed to say, then she collapsed on Logan's lab, laughing so hard she had to put
her glass down.
Everyone chugged.
"And she beats Logan!" Scott added gleefully.
Everyone chugged again and by now also Jean was laughing.
"An' her hair's perfect!" Jubilee giggled.
Another drink.
"And sche diesch hero...heri...bravely to save Storm's life!" Bobby laughed from somewhere under
the table.
"And..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yet another ½ hour later
"Goddesssss! That'sch the...sec...second lady from Loooo-gan's pascht!" Storm managed to say
between her giggles.
Rogue, still on Logan's lab, pointed a unsteady finger at her love.
"Doncha dare lookin'...at any other gals!" She ordered.
Logan kissed her neck through the scarf.
"Wouldn't dream of it, darlin'". He sent her a long glance as she started to giggle again, then
smiled.
"Okay, Marie. Let's get you to bed."
Rogue giggled even more.
"Anytime, Schugah!"
Logan took Rogue in his arms and carried her out of the door. As he headed towards their room, he
could hear one of the boys.
"Let's change our namesch to the seX-Men!"
Another one chimed in.
"Or drunk-Men."
General laughter.
A woman's voice interrupted.
"Or -Women!" She giggled.
Logan shook his head to hide a grin and opened the door.
Man, they were gonna regret it in the morning.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The following morning, around 8 Am.
The Professor's telepathic message was met by a large number of massive hangovers. Xavier
smiled. He couldn't help but finding it a little humorous.
~ X-men, we have a situation here. Magneto has escaped. ~
His only answer was a chorus of groans.
The End...for now.
Gimme feedback, or I'll give you a sequel! (Be afraid, be very afraid ;-)
Summary: While the Professor is out of town, the X-gang gets their hands on a bunch of fan
fiction...and a fan fiction drinking game...
WARNING: Total character assassination & general chaos.
Classification: Sillyfic
Pairing: R/L, J/S
Rating: PG...I think.
Feedback: Oh yes, oh yes, oh YES!!! (that means, "of cause I want feedback!").
Mail it to hack_heaven@usa.net
~...~ indicates telepathy.
Fan Fiction
(- Or "I'll never, ever look at a fanfic drinking game again!")
By Sorcieré
"Oh mah GAWD!!!" Rogue put her hands over her mouth, but didn't look away from the computer
screen.
Logan noticed her grin and got curious.
"Whatcha readin', Darlin'?" He asked, then got a good look at the screen. He raised an eyebrow.
"Creative", he remarked, summing it up pretty nicely.
He put his lips next to Rogue's ear.
"I wonder if it'd work?" He whispered seductively.
Rogue didn't get a chance to answer as Jean Grey, Cyclops and Storm stepped into the room.
"What on Earth are you reading?" Jean asked. "I could feel your amusement from the other end of
the school."
Rogue quickly found another story.
"Fan fiction", she answered.
"Fan fiction?" Scott asked.
"Yeah. Y'all wouldn't behlieve the things thay write!"
The other three X-Men walked over to look at the screen as well.
Cyclops skimmed the page.
"I did _not_ propose to Jean dressed in a chicken suit!!!" He declared halfway through the story.
"Just wait, it'll get even better", Rogue giggled.
Storm's eyes widened as she read on. Then she sent Cyclops a funny look. He looked back at her
suspiciously.
"What?" He demanded.
Storm giggled, and Logan grinned gleefully.
"Well, I haven't heard of blue paint, a sponge, a shower and two yellow spandex uniforms
combined in _that_ way before", Jean remarked.
"Whoever wrote this certainly didn't lack creativity", Storm said, trying to hide a grin.
Scott shook his head and sighed.
"You got that one right."
Logan noticed Storm's amusement and decided to have some fun, too.
"Hey, 'Ro. Ya gonna love this", he said and clicked on another fic.
Storm's laugh stopped very suddenly. Scott, though, actually managed to grin.
"Me and Creed?" Storm said disbelieving.
"Me and SABERTOOTH?!?" She repeated, a crash of thunder empathising each of her words.
"And just when I thought the hurricane season was over", Jean complained as the wind picked up.
Outside, hails the size of tennis-balls began to fall.
"Ya know, 'Ro, I don't think ya garden's gonna like those ice-balls", Logan remarked. Rogue
quickly found another page and, almost reluctantly, Storm stopped the hails and the wind.
"This one seems pretty harmless", Scott said. Then he paled. "On second thought..."
"Bad mental picture!!" Rogue agreed. "That was something Ah did NOT want to know!"
"You know, I don't think I'll ever be able to look Bobby and Gambit in the eyes again and keep a
straight face", Jean remarked as she found yet another fic.
"Ah don't think 'straight' is the word Ah'd use..."
Logan quickly choked a grin.
"Aren't there _anything_ that is just fairly normal?" Scott asked.
"Ummm...Ah don't think you'd like the NC-17 section", Rogue said, and, after Scott's glance,
quickly added: "Not that I would know where it is."
"How about this one?" Jean asked.
"Bad idea", Rogue warned, but neither Jean nor Scott listened to her.
"What?!" Cyclops exclaimed. "Whoever wrote this actually think I'd leave Jean for a Mary Sue??
And a badly written one, on top of that!"
"Ah warned ya..."
"Goddess knows I have seen a lot of Mary Sues in my life, but this one takes the prize," Storm
remarked.
"Where'd we leave that 'checklist'?" Logan grumbled as he dug through a stack of papers. "Here
we go.
"Rogue grabbed the list from him.
"'Her past it tied to Logan's or Gambit's.'", she read.
"Check...another one with adamantium-claws. How original", Logan growled.
"'She is beautiful, graceful, has unusual physical features, speaks several languages and is usually a
good singer. She is often a better fighter than the entire X-men team combined.'"
"Check...and she's protected by a God."
Rogue raised an eyebrow.
"That's a new one. 'Everybody likes her. She is either the child of one of the main-characters or, if
she is a bit older, becomes the lover of one of the characters'."
"Check...and she chooses One Eye of all people. Doesn't that count for extra?"
"Nope. 'In the end of the story she will either marry one of the characters, or die a heroic death and
is mourned by all.'". Rogue raised an eyebrow. "Could we be so lucky that she actually dies?"
"Sorry to break it to ya, darlin', but she marries Scooter and they live happily ever after", Logan
said. He looked at Cyclops. "I almost feel sorry for you...almost."
"I'm touched", Scott remarked sarcastically.
"Okay", Jean said, grabbing the keyboard. "Is there _anything_ that isn't NC-17, Mary Sue or just
generally sick?"
Rogue took back the keyboard.
"Umm...Angst?"
"No. We get enough of that as it is - I *am* a Summers, after all," Jean explained.
"Fair 'nuff. Okay...a fic with character death?"
"Goddess, no!" Storm exclaimed. "The last time we read one, everyone was depressed for days!"
"Ooookay...PWP?"
"What?" Scott, Jean and Storm asked simultaneously.
"It stands for 'Plot? What Plot?'" Logan said. "It's a porn...ehh...nevermind."
Everyone looked at him.
"What? Marie just reads a lot of fanfic, that's it", he tried to lie, actually blushing a little. Rogue
elbowed him.
"Whatever you say, Logan", Jean snickered.
"How about some good ol' romance?" Rogue asked.
"I've got all the romance I need right here", Scott said and kissed Jean.
The three other X-men (and -woman) groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Get a room!" Rogue said. Reluctantly, one pair of the resident lovebirds let go of each other.
"You done? Good. How 'bout some humour?" The southern belle suggested.
"Humour? That doesn't sound too bad", Jean admitted with a smile.
"Hey, here's somethin'", Logan said. "An X-Men fanfic drinking game."
"Not fair, Wolvie. Ya've got one heck of an advantage!" Rogue protested.
"Well, one of us gotta be able to help the other in bed..."
Rogue raised an eyebrow at Logan's suggestive voice.
"Drinking game it is!" She quickly agreed.
"Well, since there's nothing better to do..." Storm said. "Count me in."
Jean and Scott traded a look.
"Sure, we're on."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
5 minutes later...
"Okay, found a couple of long fics!" Jean declared.
"How's the liquor goin', Marie?" Logan yelled through the door.
Rogue and Storm came into the room, carrying a lot of bottles and some glasses. Behind them came
Jubilee, Bobby, St. John and Kitty.
"They wanted in, too", Storm informed.
Logan shrugged.
"Sure. The more, the merrier."
Scott was about to say something about kids and drinking when Jean elbowed him, and he wisely
stayed quiet.
The now pretty large group grabbed their glasses and gathered on various couches and chairs.
"Okay, everyone. Here're the rules. Anyone finds anything that's on the list, and we drink. Any
questions?"
Logan looked around. Apparently everyone got the message. Jean found the first fic and put it on a
large screen. The game was about to begin.
"I got the first! 'Rogue' is misspelled!" Kitty yelled. Everyone drank.
Bobby pointed.
"I've got another one!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1 hour later...
"And it's a Schummers!" Storm giggled. Everyone took a sip.
"Another one? That makes..." St. John tried to count but failed miserably. "That makes a LOT of
Summers!"
"Or winters!" Jubilee snickered.
"One more?" Logan groaned. "I need a drink!"
"Let's aaaaaaaaaaall drink to that!" Bobby said and chugged.
"And Rogie's in bed with Bob-by!!" Kitty giggled and pointed to the screen.
"EWW!! Now *I* need a drink!" Rogue said and grabbed Logan's glass.
"Oh, look! Someone hit Scott!" Jean exclaimed.
Logan looked at the screen and grinned smugly.
Everyone chugged.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Another 30 minutes later...
"MARY SCHUE!!!" Yelled Rogue and drank. The rest of the X-gang followed suit.
"And sche's more powerful than AAAALL of us combai...combe...together!" St. John said.
Another drink.
"And she marries...she marries..." Kitty bravely tried to force out the words, but she tumbled down
the couch in a fit of laughter.
"Cyke!" Rogue managed to say, then she collapsed on Logan's lab, laughing so hard she had to put
her glass down.
Everyone chugged.
"And she beats Logan!" Scott added gleefully.
Everyone chugged again and by now also Jean was laughing.
"An' her hair's perfect!" Jubilee giggled.
Another drink.
"And sche diesch hero...heri...bravely to save Storm's life!" Bobby laughed from somewhere under
the table.
"And..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yet another ½ hour later
"Goddesssss! That'sch the...sec...second lady from Loooo-gan's pascht!" Storm managed to say
between her giggles.
Rogue, still on Logan's lab, pointed a unsteady finger at her love.
"Doncha dare lookin'...at any other gals!" She ordered.
Logan kissed her neck through the scarf.
"Wouldn't dream of it, darlin'". He sent her a long glance as she started to giggle again, then
smiled.
"Okay, Marie. Let's get you to bed."
Rogue giggled even more.
"Anytime, Schugah!"
Logan took Rogue in his arms and carried her out of the door. As he headed towards their room, he
could hear one of the boys.
"Let's change our namesch to the seX-Men!"
Another one chimed in.
"Or drunk-Men."
General laughter.
A woman's voice interrupted.
"Or -Women!" She giggled.
Logan shook his head to hide a grin and opened the door.
Man, they were gonna regret it in the morning.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The following morning, around 8 Am.
The Professor's telepathic message was met by a large number of massive hangovers. Xavier
smiled. He couldn't help but finding it a little humorous.
~ X-men, we have a situation here. Magneto has escaped. ~
His only answer was a chorus of groans.
The End...for now.
Gimme feedback, or I'll give you a sequel! (Be afraid, be very afraid ;-)