Disclaimer : I don't have any right on Gilmore Girls, if I had, do you seriously think I would have chosen Dean over Tristan?




Author's Note: First, thank you Jayde my wonderful BETA. Second, I know what some of you might say, another story? What about updates on the other fics? Starting tonight I'm off work for two big weeks! Yeah! I'll try to update my other fics. Now, in this story, I have no control over the events or characters, I let them be and I got surprised by the outcome. I hope you enjoy, drop a note to please me. Now go read!




To Remember You
Chapter 1: Learning the truth




Tristan stares at the stars in the sky from the reclined seat of his silver Porsche convertible. So many nights he spent looking at the same sky from this parking spot in Stars Hollow. Stars Hollow; a small town with its noisy citizens. He used to be annoyed by them, but now they ignore him as if he was invisible. As warm and friendly this little crazy town can be, as cold it can turn. Taking a cigarette out of the glove compartment, he lights it up and takes a long satisfying drag. He looks at the house in front of him. His eyes stop on the front porch while his mind replays an old memory.




Tristan stares at the stars in the sky from the reclined seat of his silver Porsche. Taking a cigarette out of the glove compartment, he lights it up and take a long satisfying drag. When he closes his eyes, Rory jumps over the door to rest on the passenger seat. Tristan raises his inclined seat to kiss Rory but she pulls away, laughing at him as she sees the confusion in his eyes.

"Don't worry Tristan; I haven't changed my mind about dating you, just about kissing an ashtray!" And Rory starts laughing as Tristan puts out the cigarette and start eating mint.

After a while, Tristan asks, "Where do you want to go tonight?"

Getting serious, Rory leans close to him, her lips teasing his ear when she whispers, "Anywhere, as long as there is coffee and us!"

Tristan turns slowly his head to kiss her softly when he suggests, "What about my place?"

Rory smiles at Tristan tenderly before fastening her seat belt saying, "I don't think so Mister! Come on! It's our second date plus you still taste like ashes!"


Tristan puts out his cigarette, somehow, in front of this house; smoking always makes him feel bad. He sees the living room curtain move a little and Lorelai appears behind the windows, her eyes are sad, she gives him a wry smile as she shakes her head from left to right. Tristan starts the car, backing out of the driveway, in direction of Hartford.




Tristan stops the car in front of his mansion. He looks at it with sad eyes. Even the house seems to miss his wife, everything looks so cold while when she was there everything radiated with a soft orange glow. Starting the engine again, he leaves this cold place to get warmed up in the closest bar.

Upon entering the bar, he walks to the counter without paying attention to people around him. Ordering a double scotch, he finds a corner in the shadows where he could sit and be by himself. Looking at the liquid in his glass, he wonders what happened to make him feel so cheap, what happened to make alcohol his only resting place.

"Oh! God, What do you want me to say? Her indifference crushes my heart that I only think of dying. I know I have to start over, but I don't want to." He mutters.




Tristan enters the nursery looking for Rory, she's still sitting on the rocking chair, holding a porcelain doll and humming a lullaby. It's been a week, seven days; she even missed her daughter's funeral. She hasn't cried, she just rocks the doll, changes the diaper, and rocks it again. As if it never happened. As if Victoria wasn't dead. He wishes that Victoria was still alive and breathing but seven days ago, she just stopped breathing in the middle of the night. Rory hasn't cried yet.

"Rory, come on, you have to eat. Come with me please."

Rory looks at Tristan with bewilderment when she finally speaks, "I can't, don't you hear Vicky? She can't stop crying!"

Tristan gets really scared as he watches his beloved wife going crazy. He calls the only person who might be able to help her. Lorelai.


"Lucifer, you took advantage of my weakness to make me visit Hell. But it's not your fault, it's me that thought I could befriend you. I just got cheated oh! Damn Lucifer!" Looking at his still untouched glass, Tristan continues what he was saying, "Sex, bar and alcohol, are the kind of illusions I consume. If we are what we eat, God you know very well that I'll never be an angel. But I want to change, filter my past and dump the garbage. And I want to take the time, to make peace with suffering." Without touching his glass, Tristan walks out of the bar, climbs inside his car and speeds away.




Tristan stares at the stars in the sky from the reclined seat of his silver Porsche convertible. So many stars are covering the sky tonight. It's been four months since he last saw Rory, four months since the dreadful day when he brought her to her mom. Four months of needing her, four months of mourning the loss of his five month old baby, four months of fear for his beloved wife. Tristan is lost in his dark thoughts when he's brought back to reality by Lorelai's voice,

"May I sit with you?" Tristan nods his head lightly, and Lorelai climbs in the passenger seat asking, "Why did you come back Tristan?"

She is facing him, but his eyes never leave the stars in the sky as he says, "I need her Lorelai. She has you, I only had her!"

Lorelai get close to him and takes him in her arms, rocking him slowly. Tristan returns the embrace as tears starts falling down his cheeks. As his sobs become louder and louder, Lorelai whispers softly, "You know she hasn't cried yet."

When Tristan calms down after a while, he breaks the hug and tell Lorelai, "I need to see her, tonight. I'm lost without her!"

Lorelai looks at him sadly replying, "But she doesn't want to see you Tristan. She wants to forget all about you!"

Opening his door, Tristan gets up and says, "I don't care, I need to see her, even if for her to tell me herself that she doesn't want to see me anymore!"

Lorelai gets out of the car also to go stand in front of Tristan, trying to put some sense in his head, "Tristan, as much as I love you, I have to side with what my daughter wants. I'm the mother and I don't want you to go disturb her!"

Tristan looks at Lorelai straight in the eyes when he replies, "I love you too Lorelai and I respect you but I'M the husband!"

Looking down at her feet, Lorelai mutters, "Not for long."

Anger flashes in Tristan's eyes as he forces Lorelai to look at him screaming, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Lorelai lets herself falls on the uncut grass, tears flowing out of her eyes whispering, "She forgot all about you and Victoria. She remembers everything else. She went to Paris's wedding, but she went alone. She lived in Hartford, but she lived alone. Something flipped in her mind and you never existed for her!" Lorelai cries harder, unable to speak.

Tristan walks up the porch, opens the door and enters the house. He walks in direction of the kitchen, softly knocking on Rory's bedroom door.

Rory opens the door and is lost in the dept of Tristan's blue eyes. She blushes and smiles shyly. Then she looks at the floor and asks, "Who are you?"

Pain fill Tristan's eyes, Rory can see the pain.

Before Tristan can say anything, Rory whispers, "Where we close? It seems that I lost part of my memory, erasing events that I am supposed to remember and not being told about."

Rory goes inside the kitchen, starts a fresh pot of coffee and sits down.

Tristan sits in front of her, unable to speak, scared to say things he shouldn't say. Finally he asks, "Why can't anyone tell you about it?"

Rory looks down at table and replies, "My therapist says that too much unwanted information at the same time could damage my memory even more. I should go to places that I could help me remember things, but I have to remember them by myself. Now, who are you?"

Smiling sadly, Tristan whispers, "I can't tell you, you erased me." Rory looks at him, trying to place him but nothing except different feelings burst inside her. Anger, sadness, joy, happiness, desperateness, safety and love is what she feels all at once.

Shaking her head slightly, she murmurs, "I know that I know you, but I'm sorry… I don't remember you."

Tristan stands up, offers his hand to her, "Then help me walk you down memory lane."

Rory takes his offered hand, feeling a sparks at the touch. She smiles and agrees, "Sure, let me just tell my mom!"

Tristan lets go of her hand saying, "I have a couple of phone calls to make then we'll go for a ride."




Author's Note: Drop a comment, I'll love you forever.
Siaram