This is my first Final Fantasy fic. Just thought you should know that.

Now this starts out as CloTi (well, sorta) but quickly shifts to CloudAeris and (in time) TifaSephiroth.

Now I'm actually a big time CloTi fan but lately I'm seeing things in a different light. Maybe Aeris isn't as annoying as I first thought her to be, right? And Sephiroth totally rules! Now, the others will also be in this story, I just don't know how much just yet. And bear with me, it usually takes forever for me to update, but I will do so. Now, reviews always help with this…*hint, hint* This is a really short chapter, I know, but they'll get longer. Promise.

Oh, and I might up the rating to R… not sure just yet.

Disclaimer: All things (places, characters etc.) Final Fantasy 7 belong to Squaresoft. So they're not mine…I'm just playing with them a little…  I'll give them back in no time…

On with the story!

Chapter 1: The Beginning 

She missed the snow.

She remembered once when it had snowed, it didn't happen that often in Nibelheim, but every now and then they would be blessed with this amazing event. She remembered how the air would get this crisp feeling to it, and the world would seem to fall silent in anticipation of the fall of the frozen flakes.

She remembered the silence above all. It was a calming silence which held a feeling that nothing in the world could be wrong at that time...nothing bad could ever happen in those moments before the snow fell. As a child she had loved the frosty substance, played in it, laughed at it, cried in the cold of it. She had been without a care in the world. Her father had been alive and she had been the happiest girl in the world. Oh how she wished she could go back to that feeling again: that peace, that comforting peace of snowfall.

It had snowed on the Northern Continent. She still felt the chill in her sometimes, but in it was a different sort of chill, not that of cold but a chill that grew the closer they had gotten to the Crater. It had been fear that had chilled her then.

But Cloud had kept that chill away. His determination and courage had driven her, had kept her from giving in to the fear. Of course she had been as angry as Cloud had been, she had been out for revenge, but it would seem that the fear was stronger than anything else she felt. So she borrowed strength from Cloud, and from the others. Now she felt that she had lost her anger, in fact that she had lost all of her feelings to them, to her friends. Her own feelings had been drowned as she borrowed the others. She had somehow lost herself in their feelings. She had lost herself in them. And now she felt hollow, numb. There seemed to be nothing in her. Of course she was happy that Meteor was no longer about to destroy the Earth, but she had felt back then. Now there was nothing. It was as she was only a shell of her old self.

Of course she did not let this show on the outside. No, no one would ever have guessed that there was something wrong with Tifa Lockheart, she had become too good at hiding things. Even from Cloud.

The love of her life: Cloud. Many times she asked herself if it was right to hide things from him like this. Things that were so very important. The very things that made her.... or rather unmade her as it was. For how long could she keep up the charade that all was well? She wasn't sure, but she knew that she was already slipping up some times. The emptiness would shine through her mask of happiness. She only hoped that Cloud would not notice.

Ah yes, Cloud. They were trying to be something...testing if there might be something between them. Something more than just friendship. Tifa knew she did not love him as she had before, as she did not really feel anything anymore. But she would give her all to try. Even if he did still love Aeris, it didn't matter, this was the one thing she has always wanted, wasn't it? So why couldn't she give her all to make it work? Why did she feel so numb? How had she lost herself so completely?

Holding the cup of hot chocolate a little tighter, trying to steal some of its warmth, Tifa continued to stare out of the window. Oh how she wished she would feel again, just feel something… anything.

"Hey Tifa. What's up?" came Clouds voice as he sat down beside her on the couch.

"oh, nothing. Just thinking."

"About what?" Tifa just shook her head at Clouds question.

Looking out the window he commented "Looks like it might snow." He had learned when not to push her.

"yeah, sure feels like it." Oh how she wished she could find peace in the snow, like she had in her childhood, but these days it seemed she could not find peace anywhere.

They sat in silence for a while, before Cloud broke the silence. "I'm gonna go home now, ok?" She smiled at him then, her mask falling back into place.

"Okay, see you tomorrow." she replied, the smile still on her face. Cloud bent down and gave her a quick kiss before walking to the door.

"Goodnight." he said not waiting for a reply and walked out into the night and to his own home next door to hers.

"goodnight..." she whispered after him. Nothing. She had felt nothing at his kiss. Should she not be floating from happiness?  Thanking the stars for granting her wishes? Screaming from the rooftops that she was finally getting what she had always wanted?

But instead she felt nothing... nothing but this never-ending, all consuming nothingness inside of her. Oh how she wished to feel again...

Cloud was a little worried about Tifa. He wasn't really sure why, everything seemed to be all right with her. But sometimes, like tonight, she had seemed so very distant, so not Tifa like. But he didn't want to pressure her to talk about it if she didn't bring it up first. It probably wasn't anything anyway. Everyone had a right to act a little strange now and then right? And if there was something bothering her, she'd let him know sooner or later. As long as he was there to support her, everything was fine.

Then why didn't things seem fine? To be honest, he knew why. The reason he didn't feel complete with Tifa was that he still loved Aeris. Sure he loved Tifa too, but it was nothing compared to what he had felt, and still felt for the flower girl. He was a little angry with himself for doing this to both Tifa and himself. Shouldn't he leave the past to the past? Shouldn't he be able to move on?

He did love Tifa, he was sure of it, and he needed her as well... but it was still nothing compared to Aeris.

Months had gone by since her death and still his heart called for hers. He needed to focus on the present, but how could he stop what his heart and soul felt? It wasn't right... But still he loved her. The beautiful Cetra girl that had stolen his heart at first sight.

Cloud sighed; it was going to be a long night yet again...

So, what did you think? Now review!!!! Please?