Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Slayers or any of its characters. I dont own Mountain Dew, Shock tarts, NOthing, ZIppo, NADA!
OK. Here's the setting and what to expect. This is a pretty out-of control story, so there's craziness, a lil' bit of romance (not necessarily "romance"), and a LOT of humor... The story starts at a cafe, and most of the Slayer's crew is there. It has nothing to do with business, just to hang out and have fun... But we all know fun can get WAY out of
hand....Enjoy! ..and ignore spaces or any of that junk.
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Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadis, Xelloss, and Martina are all sitting at a table, munching a sipping at their food. The two bottomless pits known as Lina and Gourry are stuffing their faces with food, and the others are helplessly watching.
Lina: WOW! This place is great! The got every kind of food! * bite, chew gulp*
Gourry: And not to mention the food's good!
Everyone else knows there is no use getting them into a good conversation, so Xelloss eyes Zel's coffee..
Xelloss: Hey Zel.. can I try some of your coffee * evil grin*
Zel: * looks uncomfortable* uh...I guess so but-
Xelloss: ThAnK yOu! * steals mug of coffee and drinks all of it down.*
Zel: you didn't wait for me to tell you that you just drank espresso, and mazoku are very sensitive to caffeine..
Xelloss: Oh but I know! And in a few seconds I will torture your souls until the caffeine wears off!! Isn't it great???!!!
Zel: I think the caffeine is already in affect...~_~;
Amelia: uh-oh...
Xelloss: HEEE!!! OOOoooo * jumps up out of seat and runs around** He gets on a chair and yells* HUNGRY PEOPLE OF THE INN!!! ( lina and gourry look at Xel) IT IS MY DUTY TO ANNOUNCE THAT LINA INVERSE HAS THE MOST SECRET CRUSH ON GOURRY!!!!!!!!
Lina:THAT IS SOOOO UNTRUE!!! * blushes like mad*
Gourry: ok. I believe you Lina, even though you did try to....
Lina: Noooo..Gourry, I didn't.
Gourry: But I could've sworn last night...
Lina: Gourry, dear, it was only a dream.
Gourry: uh..ok,.. I guess...
Xelloss: Now wait a second, now I'm curious! What DID you do last night to poor Gourry?
Lina: n-n-nothing!
Gourry: Like she said, Xelloss, it was only a dream I had.
Xelloss: And you beleive her?
Gourry: Of course! Why shouldn't I? * Walks over to Xel and whispers in his ear* It's not like I have any choice if I dont wanna get killed by her!
Xelloss: Ah, now I see. Gourry does have some intellect!!
Gourry: *gourry-grin*
Xelloss: Now.. back to my fun...* takes a Shock Tart out he got out of nowhere*
Lina: Oh no, he's acting like he's high again...
Xelloss: *jumps down from the table* No I'm not high! I just got off the table so I'm LOW! HEE! ..............Hey, Lina baby..* picks up Lina, sits down with her in his lap*
Lina: *shocked, then throws a tantrum* XELLOSS METALLIUM PUT ME DOWN!!! * Xelloss kisses her deeply, and this shocks Lina even more*
*Everyone is shocked *
Zel: I knew I should've kept my coffee...now it's getting scary...
Martina: Yeah I know.. (wishing she was Lina)
* Xelloss stops the kiss, and lina is blushing bright red*
Xelloss: I knew you'd like it Lina-san.
*Lina slaps him*
Xelloss: Oooo now I'm harder....
Lina: Damn that! I forgot you were a masochist!
*Lina runs away to Gourry*
Gourry: Don't worry Lina! I'll be your protector! * He gives Lina a big hug, and shields her from Xelloss*
Lina: * bright red blushing, and not trying to get away ^_^*
Xelloss: Oh. So it's Gourry! Don't worry we can play that game too!!!So, Gourry, have you had any bi relatonships?
Gourry: What's Bi???
Lina: FORGET IT, XELLOSS!!!
Xelloss: awww..... no fun.... * runs over to Zelgadis and Amelia and Martina* Hey guys!!! LOOK!! *points to window* *They all look and Xelloss steals Amelia's Mountain Dew.*
Zel: Hey wait a second I don't see...uh oh...
Amelia: My SODA!!!
Xelloss: Whaaat Ssssssooooodaaaaa????
Martina: I'm leaving before I get tortured. See ya! *Dashes for the door*
Xelloss: Don't leave!
Zel: She's gone.
Xel: Oh.. ~_~..oh well! ^_^
Amelia: Lucky her! *whispers to herself* maybe I should try to make a run for it...
Xel: NO! You are staying!! * sits on Amelia*
Amelia: *sweatdrops* Uh.. Why don't you go get Valgarv, then torture him?
Xel: There's an idea! *disappears , then reappears with Val in his arms*
Val: What the...
Xel: Hey, honey. *hangs on Val*
Val: Fuck!!! Get away from me you fucking fruitcake!!!
Xel: Can fruitcakes fuck?
Zel: Well I'm not gonna answer that! He'll get it soon enough.
Val: Get him offa me!!!!
Lina: Just smack him! ^_^ *evil grin*
Val: Nice try, Lina. I know he's a masochist.
Lina: Damn.
Gourry: What's a masochist?
Zel: You were hearing things again, weren't you, Gourry?
Gourry: I was?
Amelia: Yes, you were.
Val: Definitely.
Lina: For sure! I just got a manicure! The sun, I swear, It's bleaching out my gorgeous hair..*everyones staring at her*.. never mind ^_^;
Xel:...Anyways, why do you guys lie to the poor stupid soul , aka: Gourry? Don't worry Gourry! I love you!
Gourry: I'm not so sure that's a good thing...
Lina: Alert the presses!! Gourry LEARNED something!!
Xel: That's not nice!! ^_^
Lina: *Grins evilly* Hey Xel! Wanna play a game?
Xel: Ooo! Game!
Lina: I'll ask you a question. If you get it wrong, you get fire balled, if you get it right, you get fireballed. K?
Xel: K! ^_^ (kawaii!!)
Lina: Now answer this question...
Xel: The answer is Tequila.
Lina: I didn't ask you a question yet!
Xel:.... Oh, sorry,..... the answer is Gourry!
Lina:..Dragu slave!
Xel: *still standing there unharmed* You forgot to chant the spell, Lina.
Lina: Oh yeah. Darkness beyond twilight (etc, etc)
Xel: I'll be leaving you in 5, 4 , 3, 2, ..
Lina... Dragu slave!!
Xel: 1! Bai bai!! *Xel leaves with the blast*
Zel: He's gone!!
Val: It's a miracle!
Amelia: Hooray for justice!!
Lina: For once, Amelia, I agree!
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This story was written under the influence of Mountain Dew, Shock Tarts, and watching too much Space Ghost coast to coast ( and laughing at everything stupid) You like? Please review!
Thank ya kindly!!Oh! and no flames, this was an insanity fic, and it's like crap, so dont mind!