"I don't forgive people because I'm weak, I forgive them because I am strong enough to know people make mistakes." - Marilyn Monroe
Elena wants time. Time to get past the things Stefan has done, time to get past the fact Damon turned her best friends mom, time to miss Jeremy, time to forget about Damon sleeping with Rebekah, and mostly time to forget how badly she hurt Damon with her words, but most of all Elena needs time to breathe. It's gotten so hard to do the one thing you needed to do to live.
In. Out. In. Out.
But it hurts, everything weighs down on her. Every breath is hard.
Elena also wants all this doom and gloom to end. (She smiles a small smile at the choice words going through her head. They are Damon words.) She wants her friends to be happy, she wants all the death to stop, she wants to be happy, and she wants Jeremy home safe.
She feels the light burst of air, she holds her breath, there is only one person that visits through her window. She tries to control her heart. He was finally here. She had missed his visits, mostly she just missed him in general, but when she turns around it's not him.
"Stefan, what are you doing here? I said I needed time."
"I know but..."
"No, you need to listen to me, and hear me. Damon promised me he'd bring you back, but I never expected him to sacrifice everything he was. You let him snap Abby's neck, let him turn her. He did it because he loves you, but why did you let him? You knew everyone would hate him for it, is it easier for you if they do, or if I do? Because it was easier to let Damon be the bad guy, because he's good at it? It doesn't work like that Stefan. You don't get to go all rogue, and reckless and then pretend it's not who you are, it is. Damon may be reckless but at least he doesn't pretend to be something he's not. He owns every damn part." She stops to breathe. She didn't plan on saying all that, but once it started she couldn't stop it.
"Are you done?"
She simply nods, not trusting her voice enough to speak.
"Good. Now you need to listen before it's too late."
"Too late for what?" She cuts him off, worried now.
"Damon's leaving."
"What?" She swallows hard. She swears her heart stops for a second.
"You can't forgive him, he can't forgive you. Bull. You both play this twisted power struggle game and it's ridiculous. The two of you need to get over yourselves, and stop being so stubborn. Damon is leaving. He doesn't know I'm telling you. I heard him talking to Ric at the Grill, he told Ric one more game of darts and he was headed home to pack."
"You need to get me there, now."
"Can you bare to hold onto me for that long?"
"Uh-huh." She barely says. She needs to get to Damon. Stefan using his super speed it the only way to guarantee she makes it there before Damon has a chance to leave.
"As long as it gets you to Damon."
"You might not want him to stay, but you don't want him to leave more, and you know I'm the only chance you have to get him to say. I get it, and I'm sorry. We have to go so we can make it back before he leaves."
Stefan and Elena meet Damon at the front door, bags in hand.
"See you and baby brother are all better."
She breaks free of the hold Stefan and her have on each other. More than just in the physical sense.
"No, we're not. Can we talk?"
"Nope. I'm busy."
"I know your leaving Damon, and I know why you didn't tell me. I think it's a mistake."
"Really, why's that? Your all knowing?"
"You didn't tell me because you knew I'd try and stop you. What scares you is that I could stop you. That's why I came here with Stefan. He doesn't want you to leave, and he knew his chance at changing your mind was me."
"All knowing and full of herself? Wow."
"Then tell me why."
"Because I'm tired of everything being about you. I'm tired that whatever I do is never good enough, that how I feel never matters. I'm better off on my own."
"That's a lie Damon. It matters, and you know it. Everything you are is good enough. We have both been so stubborn, but we were all each other had this summer and we never let each other down. What I'm still trying to figure out is why Stefan being back changed that. We trusted each other. Where the hell did that go? How did we get back to a place where we barely speak?"
"You know why."
"That can't be it."
"You won't even aknowledge you may have taken a page out of my book by going to far. Words hurt Elena. Especially those words."
"You took it the wrong way."
"I'm mad because I love you. Maybe that's the problem. Verbatim Elena. How else do you take words like that?"
"I know what I said. I won't take it back."
"Do you enjoy torturing me?"
"No. I won't take it back because I meant it. Your loving me was getting in the way of trying to kill Klaus. It was putting me in a cage. You were teaching me how to fight, be strong all summer, and then you were trying to take it away. That was the problem. If you would have said those words any other time, I would not have said that in response. But none of that makes you loving me wrong."
"Elena..."
"My loving you is a problem too sometimes." She utters the only words she knows will take this conversation in the direction she needs it to go.
"What?"
"You heard me. My loving you makes things hard Damon. It hurts Stefan. I'm not trying to make this about him either, but he is your brother, and I loved him. Us being together would hurt him. Bonnie hates you right now, and she is one of my best friends. Loving you makes me need to keep you just as safe and alive as everyone else I love. We fight Damon and we are both stubborn as hell. The only things easy about us is loving each other so passionately and our ability to forgive one another for anything because of it. I understand why you think you should leave. I'm asking you not to. You asked me to fight, and I'm asking you to do the same. You asked me not to resign myself to dying, and I was willing to go along with other plans, your plans. I'm asking you to fight to be who you are, not who you think I think you should be. Fight for what you want. I know your probably tired of fighting espeically for me and because of me, but I will always fight for you Damon."
"Your wrong." His face is blank, eyes steeled behind his walls.
"You can't be serious? Nothing I said changed your mind?" She tries to make the words more powerful, but inside she feels broken because maybe she pushed him to the point of no return. Tears well up in her eyes, and before she can even blink them away Damon is in front of her. His hands cupping her face and his eyes are blazing into hers.
"Your wrong about me being tired of fighting for you. I will never stop fighting for you."
And Elena finally breathes easy. She smiles and feels like she has won something for the first time in a long time.
Damon matches her smile, a real genuine smile. It's not more than a few seconds before she leans into meet his lips. She has waited far too long to feel them again. How perfect they felt against hers. How right.
He carries her up to his room, and while he starts the fire she makes herself comfortable on his bed. When he walks over and sits next to her she sees the worry in his eyes.
"Damon?"
"I..."
"What? You can tell me." She brushes her fingers down his cheek, and then takes a hold of his hand.
"I was going to leave. I wanted to be as far away from you as possible. I wanted you to hate me for it too. I wanted you to hate yourself for being the reason I left."
"I know."
"How could you possibly know?"
"Because we can read each other like no one else. That's why I came."
"What?" He asks clearly confused.
"Would you have come back eventually?"
"You know I would have."
"Excatally my point. I would have been so mad you left, but tso happy you came back. I decided to save us from the years of hate. My life is just better with you in it. That's why I came."
"Thank you. For stoping me, for being able to find the humanity in me even Stefan couldn't."
"Always."
"I love you Elena."
"I know, and I love you. A part of me always has. I was afraid."
"I understand."
"But I'm not anymore. So no more going back. That's the only rule."
"I can live with that." He smirks at her before rolling over and pulling her on top of him. She look at Damon as she has so many times before and notices for the first time how content he looked. Knowing she could give him what no one else seemed to give her the same feeling. "Will you stay with me tonight?"
"I'll stay with you more than just tonight Damon." He kisses her lightly before getting up and making his way to the closet. He gives her a shirt to sleep in. She changes in the bathroom, and when she walks out and sees him laying there waiting for her she wonders if this is how things were meant to be from day one. Maybe Stefan was suppossed to leave so Damon could really become part of her life. And when she crawls back into bed with Damon she knows that nothing has ever felt more right. He was who she needed, wanted.
"I promise you I will always forgive you, and I will never leave you again." She uses the same words he once told her to give him the reassurance she knows he needs.
"I believe you, and I will always forgive you." In choosing to belive her he offers up the first ounce of trust, and she knows that this is their real begining.