WHY THE CAT?

"This stinks."

"You're telling me."

Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood sit side by side on the steps of someone's porch, sharing a bottle of alcohol. Things would have been just dandy and less dull, but their good friend Meryl had gone through the trouble to forcefully confiscate both Vash's gun and Wolfwood's Cross Punisher. Said weapons were locked in the trunk of her car while she and Milly settled some business.

As the two men sit in silence, a small black cat trots over and sits down in front of them.

"Nyan".

"Hey Wolfwood, it's a cat."

"I know it's a cat."

"Nyan."

"You know, we've been seeing a lot of black cats recently."

"Yeah...Now that you mention it..."

"Why the cats?"

"Nyan."

"Maybe it's their fault why we keep running into trouble."

"Nyan."

"No, Vash. You're the reason behind all our bad luck."

"What makes it my fault?"

"You're the outlaw."

"That has nothing to do with anything."

"Nyan."

Wolfwood stares at the cat. Suddenly, he starts to laugh.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just had a thought."

"Care to share?"

"Forget it. The humor probably wouldn't last 5 seconds."

"Nyan."

"Go on. Spit it out."

Wolfwood regains his composure for a while. Then he points back at the cat.

"I was just thinking, maybe this guy here, and all those cats we saw, are the same puss."

"...yeah...?"

"Nyan."

"And maybe this cat is your brother's top secret agent, sent to spy on your every move."

"Nyan"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, Wolfie!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know!"

"Oh wait! I'd bet even as we're talking, Knives is monitoring our actions with a tiny camera he hid in this kitty's fur!"

"Stop it! You're killing me!"

(VTSC)

Meanwhile, in the great cavern that the Gung-ho Guns fondly call their headquarters...

"Gadzooks! They're on to me! I need more sugar..."

#rustle rustle#

#crunch crunch#

"Agent Kuroneko, you have your next mission..."

(VTSC)

"Nyan..."

The cat struts off as our two heroes are still helpless with laughter. It returns as they finally stop laughing, and sits a little closer. Wolfwood blinks.

"Say Vash?"

"Yeah?"

"Why's the cat holding a mousetrap?"

"He probably wants to catch some mice."

"Nyan."

"Hey that's kinda cute. It's holding the mousetrap out to you, Wolfwood."

"And why would it do that?"

"Maybe it wants you to help it catch some mice."

"Nyan."

"Go on and take it, Wolfie. What would it hurt?"

"Fine."

Wolfwood sets the bottle down and reaches toward the cat.

(VTSC)

Meanwhile... Far, far away... In the December Orphanage...

The Suns are shining.

The children are laughing.

Four boys are hanging up laundry.

Three girls are feeding the head nun's stupid old thomas.

A small mixed group are playing with a ball.

"C'mon! Gimme the ball!"

"No! Gimme it!"

"Fire in the hole!"

A small child grins as he raises the ball over his head.

Suddenly, there is a very loud roar that mercilessly stabs the silent air, vibrates the stable grounds, and fills everyone with astonishment of the immense amount of pain and anger it can possibly behold.

Loosely translated into understandable English, it is an elongated "YAAAAAAAHHHHHH".

The ball-playing group and the laundry-hanging boys drop everything on the sand before curling up into fetal positions with hands over their ears.

Two of the girls meep fearfully and hide behind the other, older one.

The head nun's stupid old thomas moans as the blast sends it flying through the air. With any luck, New August would find it come Friday.

"What the heck was that!"

"That sounded like a typhoon!"

"That sounded like a sand-worm!"

"That sounded like an evil critter from outer space!"

"That sounded like a yodeling veterinarian of the New Alps!"

The oldest girl among them stands silently, allowing the roar to breeze through her delicate eardrums.

As suddenly as it started, it ceases, leaving devastated silence in its wake.

...That sounded like Father Nicholas.

(VTSC)

Somewhere else...

"Success! Another sugar-frosted spider to celebrate! Legato! Bring me the platter!"

"Yes, Master."

"You say 'trick or treat'."

"You're sugar high again, Master."

"Legato, please remind me to sacrifice you someday to the cause of Vash's Eternal Suffering."

"Yes, Master.

(THE END)