Disclaimer: These Characters are not mine they are JK Rowling's. I claim no
ownership over this story except for this original plot.
Do These Robes Make Me Look Fat?
And many other feminine queries and qualms of Voldie.
Voldie stood before a three-way mirror. He stroked his beardless chin and said to Wormtail, " Do these robes make me look fat?"
"No my lord, but I can see your Marvin Miggs underroos." Wormtail replied with blatant amusement in his voice.
"Excuse me boyfriend, but these," Voldie scoffed indignantly, picking a wedgie, " are Harry Potter underoos."
"Isn't he the boy we want to kill?" Said Wormtail lazily looking up from The Dark Community Chronicle.
"AAARGH", Voldie cried in frustration, "The imbeciles I have to work with. Can't you see what wonderful fashion sense that boy has?"
"Um sir didn't he ruin your powers fifteen years ago?" Wormtail said hesitantly.
"That doesn't affect how stunningly handsome and fashionable I think he is! What does that have to do with anything?"
"Oh nothing sir nothing at all."
"Put my music on. You ass... getting my blood pressure up..." Voldie muttered.
"Sorry sir." Wormtail said with an apologetic air. He slipped in the Shakira CD. He didn't see the appeal of a Muggle singer, but at least is kept Voldie occupied. Wormtail slipped out of the room.
"Whenever, Wherever we'll always be together." Voldemort belted out the high notes. And as he was doing his interpretive dance Wormtail sidled back in in time to see Voldie swinging his arms and jumping, while intoning, "I'm a lilting leaf, I'm a floating flutterby."
Voldie looked up into the mirror and setting eyes on shrieked, "Wormtail!"
"What now sir?" Wormtail replied in an irritatingly greasy voice.
" You know perfectly well what happens at 2 in the afternoon... my pedicure. You know how important it is for my evil toesies to be pretty." Voldie said smiling and wiggling his hairy, disgusting, fungus infected toes.
"Oh. Ok to the spa then master." Peter said with a horrible forced smile. His voice however was overrun with disgust.
A/N Please tell me if this is stupid or cool. I have never written humor before. If you like it I will write more.
Other Disclaimer: The song, "Whenever Wherever" belongs to Shakira, I may have gotten the words wrong, Oh Well.
Do These Robes Make Me Look Fat?
And many other feminine queries and qualms of Voldie.
Voldie stood before a three-way mirror. He stroked his beardless chin and said to Wormtail, " Do these robes make me look fat?"
"No my lord, but I can see your Marvin Miggs underroos." Wormtail replied with blatant amusement in his voice.
"Excuse me boyfriend, but these," Voldie scoffed indignantly, picking a wedgie, " are Harry Potter underoos."
"Isn't he the boy we want to kill?" Said Wormtail lazily looking up from The Dark Community Chronicle.
"AAARGH", Voldie cried in frustration, "The imbeciles I have to work with. Can't you see what wonderful fashion sense that boy has?"
"Um sir didn't he ruin your powers fifteen years ago?" Wormtail said hesitantly.
"That doesn't affect how stunningly handsome and fashionable I think he is! What does that have to do with anything?"
"Oh nothing sir nothing at all."
"Put my music on. You ass... getting my blood pressure up..." Voldie muttered.
"Sorry sir." Wormtail said with an apologetic air. He slipped in the Shakira CD. He didn't see the appeal of a Muggle singer, but at least is kept Voldie occupied. Wormtail slipped out of the room.
"Whenever, Wherever we'll always be together." Voldemort belted out the high notes. And as he was doing his interpretive dance Wormtail sidled back in in time to see Voldie swinging his arms and jumping, while intoning, "I'm a lilting leaf, I'm a floating flutterby."
Voldie looked up into the mirror and setting eyes on shrieked, "Wormtail!"
"What now sir?" Wormtail replied in an irritatingly greasy voice.
" You know perfectly well what happens at 2 in the afternoon... my pedicure. You know how important it is for my evil toesies to be pretty." Voldie said smiling and wiggling his hairy, disgusting, fungus infected toes.
"Oh. Ok to the spa then master." Peter said with a horrible forced smile. His voice however was overrun with disgust.
A/N Please tell me if this is stupid or cool. I have never written humor before. If you like it I will write more.
Other Disclaimer: The song, "Whenever Wherever" belongs to Shakira, I may have gotten the words wrong, Oh Well.