Disclaimer: I don't own any of the ER 'gang'

Perspective

Authors Notes: At the beginning this may seem like a Jinter - its not!!! Each chapter will be narrated by Chen, Abby, Carter or Gallant but it's a progressive story and not like Four Corners because they are not talking about the same day (I hope that makes sense).

2 Years Later (Chen)

Tomorrow will be it. 2 years. A long time? Depends how you look at it, every shift I work I swear gets longer but compared to a lifetime 2 years is nothing - a small fraction. Tomorrow Michael will be 2 - my baby will be 2; but he isn't my baby is he? The photographs they sent, the brief phone calls - he's their son, he calls them Mom and Dad - he doesn't know who I am. To him I'm a stranger but to be fair I chose to do this - it's not their fault. I couldn't have brought up a child but then again I didn't try. I took what I thought would be the easy way out but when it comes to it, it wasn't that easy - it isn't that easy. Everyday, the same thoughts. Every birthday, his or mine, brings back those feelings.

'You Ok?'

I wipe the tears from my eyes, I know who's there, Carter.

'Yeah'

He doesn't look convinced; I don't feel convincing.

'You don't come here often'

'I needed some fresh air'

'Because you felt sick or you needed to think'

I bow my head slightly.

'You a psychic or something'

'I'd like to think so but honestly I come up here a lot usually for the second reason'

I sigh and wonder if he remembers. I doubt it - nobody else does.

'Doesn't seem like that long ago does it?'

He just answered the question.

I shake my head - he seems to understand

'Do you regret it?'

'I don't know'

I can feel the tears coming again, 1 by 1 they slowly trickle down my face soon they no longer trickle but cascading. 'I just don't know'

'Hey come here'

He pulls me towards him and hugs me.

This is what I needed, for someone to just understand, in fact not even understand - just to have someone listen willingly.

'It's cold up here, lets go to Doc's. My treat'

I can do nothing but smile gratefully; the tears are still coming. He takes my hand, its only now that I realise how cold I am.

We walk back down through the ER, I try to hide my bloodshot eyes and the streaky paths of tears but I can see the puzzled, sympathetic looks in my colleagues eyes. We manage to make it to the exit without having to talk to anyone but thing are never that simple.

Kerry. It's always something with her.

'Carter, Chen where do you think you're going?'

We don't bother to turn round; Carter just raises his arm and carries on walking. I originally thought she was going to follow us but Randi rather conveniently distracted her.

We walk over to Doc's and order coffee. We sit there and talk. It's great getting it off my chest but I know that I'll still be wreck tomorrow, but look at the 'bright' side - I still have 2 hours of my shift and a few hours sleep until then.

As if on cue Susan bursts into Doc's - unfortunately she sees us.

'We've got multiple GSW's coming in, it's all hands on deck'

'E.T.A?' Carter asks

'4 mins'

'We're coming'

He turned back to look at me

'Ready?'

'Yeah'

The next two hours are going to be busy.

1 DOA and two other teenagers - street fight.

As we wheeled him through the ER I fell back into automatic mode - listening to the paramedics commentary - if you ask me in an hours time about the patient this is the stuff I'll have forgotten - you get so used to hearing the same things your reactions become reflex.

*The next day*

I don't want to go to work today - I say that most morning but today I just don't think I can face people - screaming patients or sympathetic friends included.

The alarm woke me up, the sleazy weather woman announcing that surprisingly enough it would be cold again.

Sooner than I expect I find myself at County. For the first few hours I'm ok, no obnoxious patients or major traumas so far. Saying that, the paramedics have just walked in and don't seem to be with any other doctors.

Oh my God - it's a baby - someone has dumped it. I don't think I can handle this today.

'Chen!'

'Chen!'

'Yeah'

I shake myself out of my trance - now isn't the time for self pity.

'I need some help over here'

'Breathing?'

'Barely'

'Get him in a trauma room'

'Carter I need some help'

He looks at me

'You Ok with this?'

'Not really but he needs help'

'If your sure'

'I am, I'll be fine'

Yet again he doesn't seem convinced. Deep breath, here we go.

*1/2 Hour Later*

I'm taking a break. He died. Hypothermia. Today of all days.

Abby's just walked in she doesn't look too happy.

'You Ok?'

She doesn't say anything

'You look pissed off'

'Well..'

'One of those days?'

'Something like that'

Then nothing.

Susan and Carter have just entered the room.

Abby face drops even further, wonder whats going on there?

Susan flops on the couch, Carter goes to make coffee and Abby makes some excuse and leaves.

'What are you guys doing tonight?'

'Nothing' Susan replies

'Me neither' Carter mutters

'Do you want to go out and get hammered?'

Carter just looks at me as if to say 'are you sure you want to do that?' but Susan seems up for it.

'Meet you at eight?'

'Sure'

I'm gonna drown my sorrows for one night only.

------- Yet another one from me. I haven't written a Chen story before so this was kinda new to me. I need some help!!!!! I need to gather as much information about Gallant as I can if you can help me please email your info to doojit2002@yahoo.co.uk Thank you for reading and please review!!!!! -Hna