The atmosphere in here is charged, like an electric current across my skin. I've barely had 2 cans and I already feel stupidly drunk. This is strange, I'm normally the one who can out drink the guys. I didn't originally plan to come to this house party but I was dragged by my friends who have all vanished. I make my way to the kitchen as everything starts spinning, not in the usual 'I've had a few' way but as if I've suddenly been flipped upside down. Someone grabs me as my knees give way, yelling to my friend who has just reappeared that he'll take me home. Apparently they know me well enough that my friend nods before leaving. As soon as the cold air outside hits me I start feeling a little better, my vision clearing enough that I can make out who my knight in shining armour is. Messy blonde hair that's loosely tied back, tall, average looking and I realise that I do know him. James, my brain informs me. Knowing who has hold of me I feel relief knowing that he'll keep me safe.
Unaware of my surroundings, it's not until I hear the crashing waves that I notice we're on the beach near the house party we've just left. We stop moving and James drops his arms from around me, making me fall onto the stones, a sharp pain followed by a spreading warmth on my leg and forehead making me come to the conclusion that I'm not as safe as I thought I was. While I'm trying to co-ordinate myself enough to investigate the damage, he turns sharply and crushes his lips to mine. I know that he's had a thing for me since the last time I went to a party with my friends. I had a few drinks and flirted shamelessly but didn't let anything happen. I'm only 15. I'm not strong enough and too out of it to push him away but I try anyway.
"You're going to enjoy this. I'm going to bring you down a peg or two you stuck up bitch. You should have just said yes when I asked you out."
Scrambling backwards on the pebbles I finally find my voice "Please…please don't do this. Please…" I plead.
"You think you're so much better than me, walking around like you own the place. Well I want to teach you a lesson about respecting the feelings of others…" he moves closer telling me that I deserve this, that it's my fault this is happening and there's nothing I can do to stop it. He follows me as I move backwards trying to get away, pulling off his belt and undoing his zipper. My screams are drowned out by the thumping music not even 200 metres away.
It's still dark when I wake up, quiet now too except the sound of the waves. Methodically I gather up my belongings and torn clothes then head to the police station. I'm running on autopilot not even thinking about what I'm doing, or noticing how cold it is. I walk into the reception area and ring the bell, patiently waiting for someone to come.
The officer that arrives looks shocked at my appearance but just asks if he can help. "I'm here to report a rape" I tell him before my legs give out on me. I sound detached like I'm not really there. I'm taken through to an interview room and give my statement before I'm taken to the local A&E to be examined. Scrapings are taken from under my nails, samples are taken to be analysed, photos of my wounds are taken. I'm told that I'm lucky, the worst cuts are the ones on my leg and forehead which need stitches. The rest of the bruises and cuts will heal in time. I also have a badly sprained wrist from trying to fight him off of me and several shallow wounds on my face and neck as well as a black eye.
A female officer who had brought me here also takes me home staying so my parents can be informed. They were called when I arrived at the police station but couldn't get here as they were several hours away at my aunts house. I have a shower as soon as I can, scrubbing my skin until it's red and raw but I still don't feel clean. It's not until I'm in my bed that the tears finally start to fall.
2 Years Later
My alarm is loud, shrill and unwelcome. I'd rather stay in the warmth of my bed but I know that if I don't move my mum will drag me out of my room. Quickly I run to the bathroom to take a shower, do my teeth and take my meds before heading to my wardrobe. What to wear? I've completely changed since we moved to the States, I used to have really long light brown hair which is now above shoulder length and dyed deep red. I got pierced a few times, my ears mostly as well as my nose, tongue and lip. You'd never think that I was the same girl. I pick out my favourite jeans, black skinnies with lace inserts and a long sleeved purple Aiden band tee as well as a black hoodie then find my favourite boots and slip them on before grabbing my bag and heading to my car saying a quick goodbye to my parents as I leave. My car is probably the best thing about this move, a cherry red AMC Javelin that dad finally agreed that I could have. I had to replace the sound system but that came out of my own pocket so no big deal. We left England about 1 ½ years ago but only just moved to Forks a few days ago, we used to live in San Francisco before here. Today is my first day at the high school, to say I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm terrified. I don't want anyone to find out what I've been through so I plan on keeping to myself and not drawing any attention. That will be next to impossible as I'm the new kid and who in their right mind starts on a Tuesday? Sucks to be me.
Pulling into one of the few empty spaces I see a few kids looking open mouthed at 'The Bomb'. I named my car after that song, Cherry Bomb by the Runaways due to her gorgeous colour. Sighing to myself I grab my things and head to the office to get my schedule and map. Having succeeded in that task I find my locker and put away my bag, keeping my ipod in my pocket, earphones hanging out of the top of my tee ready to keep the outside world away from me. My morning classes pass quickly, my mind occupied with note taking and having to catch up to everyone else. The bell for lunch soon goes so I move towards the canteen wondering what delights they have on offer, happy to see cheeseburgers on the menu. I buy one and a coke then sit at an empty table, putting my earphones in and turning up the volume. Nothing like Dir En Grey to drown out the masses even though I can still see that I'm being stared at. Quickly I finish my food and throw away the rubbish but as I'm leaving I walk into a guy. Without even looking at him I mumble an apology and run off, hoping that the afternoon will be better. Heading into Biology I see the only free seat and make myself comfortable. I don't look at the person next to me but inwardly groan when we're told that we need to pair up to complete the work.
"You're new" I feel like applauding at that keen observation. I sneak a glance at my neighbour, he's slim but well built, angled features, dark hair shot through with red making it appear bronze and the most amazing green eyes I have ever seen. I nod in answer to his previous statement refusing to open my mouth.
"Don't speak much do you?" I shake my head moving my chair away because of the closeness of him, trying to make sense of the worksheet in front of us. He leans over and I freeze as he gets closer, not noticing he pulls the paper towards him and reads my name.
"So Elizabeth is it? I'm Edward Cullen" I didn't ask so why tell me? Besides he got my name wrong.
"Effy, I prefer to be called Effy." Ah my voice has made an appearance at last. He looks shocked that I said something but it's quickly replaced by a neutral expression.
Even though he continues to try to engage me in conversation I refuse to speak again for the rest of the lesson, conscious that if I give anything away it can be turned against me later on. It always happens especially after that night.
To my relief it's the end of the day and I can leave. Rapidly scrolling through my ipod, I plug it into Bomb's stereo turning up Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt that I selected so it blasts all around me. Through my windshield I see Edward standing next to a Volvo surrounded by a group of people, looking at me with a pained expression on his face. Thinking no more about it I drive home.
I'm greeted by silence, my mum and dad must've gone out for dinner tonight. Nice of them to invite me. Not really hungry I head up to my room and start doing some homework, not that I'll get very far but at least I'm making the effort. It's more than I did before we left England. Giving up on the maths problems I'm working on I get changed then get into bed. The last thing I think of before falling asleep is a pair of piercing green eyes.
The next morning is pretty much the same as the day before - shower, teeth, pills. The only difference is my outfit, a black Beatles band tee and red skinnies. I grab my things and head out the door again, mum shouting something about me eating before I leave. I'm never hungry in the morning so carry on as if I didn't hear.
Arriving at the school I'm glad to reach my locker without incident only freezing up when some idiot knocks into me as I'm turning to leave. As soon as he leaves I relax, heading to my first class. Once again the morning passes quickly and I head to lunch only buying some fries and a coke before sitting alone again with my music on loudly. NIN today, there's something about listening to Trent Reznor that makes me think that things aren't so bad. I don't see how, Closer isn't exactly an inspiring song for a…well me but it helps in a strange way. All too soon I have to go to my next lesson, Biology again with Edward. I sit and get my books out making sure I'm as far away from him as possible. He doesn't seem to notice my discomfort as he moves closer to me.
"You can't ignore me forever Effy, we're lab partners so you're gonna have to talk to me sooner or later." He's right but I'm not going to tell him that.
Grabbing a spare bit of paper I quickly write down:
I'd appreciate it if you would stop talking to me unless it's to do with the work.
Sliding it towards him I then wait patiently for his reply.
"Not going to happen. Sorry but you're stuck with me talking to you for the rest of the school year." A crooked grin spreads across his face at my annoyed expression. Stubborn son of a… Grabbing the paper I scribble furiously:
Fine but know that this is the only way that I'll communicate with you and even then this is because I'm forced to.
"I'll wear you down eventually" I tense up when he says that, something so close to what he told me and my breathing suddenly becomes shallower. The paper in my hand crumples up in my fist as I try to get some oxygen into my lungs. I know that I'm hyperventilating and that if I don't get some control it'll become a full blown panic attack but I can't make myself focus. I can't hear anything apart from my own gasps as I try to slow my breathing, the room becomes blurred as my vision goes before I fall to the floor unconscious.
"Man I feel like crap" I shrink back as my eyesight clears removing my hand from Edward's grasp. I'm lying on a lumpy bed, clearly in the nurse's office at school as I try to remember what happened. The confusion shows on my face.
"You collapsed in class so I carried you here. We've been waiting for you to wake up." Oh bollocks. Not even been here a week and I've already messed up. I try to get up but a wave of dizziness pushes me back down.
"I want to go home" I just want to get out of here and hide in my room until I have to face the questions tomorrow.
"Ok, I'll get my friend to take my car and I'll drive you home in yours. I don't think you should drive when you can barely stand up on your own." Great, like this day could get any worse.
"I can get a taxi or walk." Even I can hear how desperate I am to be left alone.
"Nope, your stuck with me remember?" I can see I'm not going to win so just nod then wait for him to come back from finding his friend. Moving slowly we head to Bomb, me refusing any help as that would mean being touched. He can think I'm stubborn for all I care. We get in and drive off, me telling him my address. Before long we've arrived so I get out and walk to my door, opening it hoping that I can run inside but no, he's followed me and looks like he isn't planning on leaving anytime soon. I go through to the kitchen hearing his footsteps behind me as I get a coke out of the fridge.
"You sure you should be drinking that after what happened?"
"It was a just a panic attack and sugar always helps me feel better afterwards. Coke is the fastest way to get it into my system."
"So that kind of thing has happened before then?" More than you know.
"Yeah, not so much now but it used to be so bad I couldn't leave the house." Finishing my drink I say my thanks then ask Edward to go. I don't want him here when my parents get home, I'd never hear the end of it and it's going to be bad enough when I tell them that I passed out at school. It really does suck to be me sometimes.