Disclaimer - I do not own any of the Stargate characters I wish I did but I
don't so please don't sue me because I'm in debt. If I did own these
characters I probably have more money and would not be a student, with no
money (.
*Why Danny gets Kicked off the Team* Written by Zork the Unbearable while on a Coca-Cola induced sugar and caffeine high. The reason why Daniel Jackson gets kicked off SG-1.
Don't worry there are no spoilers around here!
********
*Ah the old SGC, the command center of the Stargate program. This is where we catch up with our favorite SG team, SG-1.*
"Since when do we have voiceovers?"
"It was in the notices last week O'Neil"
"I swear I'm not getting my memos."
Buzzers sound
"Hey SG-11 are home, that means Danny's home."
"Indeed it does"
Daniel runs up
"Jack look what I found at the temple!"
"Temple? What is it?"
"Its this big building where people worship gods, but that's not important right now"
"Okay"
"Look, I found this pottery piece and I think it has special meaning to someone, maybe someone that was visiting the temple!"
"Daniel Jackson I believe that is your coffee cup."
Looks at artifact, which is in fact a red coffee cup
"So I was right, it does mean something special, doesn't it? It means I really need some coffee."
Sam walks in
"Hi Daniel"
"Hi Sam"
"Um Daniel your coffee cup is empty, is something wrong?"
"Yes I'm out of coffee, I have to go get some or I might die.again."
"Right well we have a briefing in ten"
*Will Daniel get his coffee, will Jack find his missing memos, will Teal'k ever change that facial expression, will Sam have a major part in this story?
The answer to all these questions is no.*
Ten minutes later, Daniel runs crying into the briefing room.
"General Hammond, a world is in great danger, you have to help it!"
"Dr Jackson what on earth are you talking about?"
"THERE IS NO COFFEE, I need coffee but there is none, I looked everywhere I didn't even find decaf, I am going to die.Again."
"Dr Jackson, you are not going to die, coffee withdrawal does not kill people."
"Yes it does, I've seen it happen, I just need another cup, just one. Why won't you give me any? Is it because you're hiding it from me, so you can have it all to yourself?"
"Oi Danny get a hold of yourself, or I will see that you are put into rehab with Dr Fraiser."
Daniel stops, thinks for a minute, smiles then carries on.
"No Jack don't, I um don't need rehab, I just need some coffee. Its too late for me to drink it now I think I need a coffee drip, just tap it into my vein."
"That is it Daniel, you are going into Rehab!"
"Yesssssssss, I mean no I don't need to be locked up with only Janet to talk to."
*Will Daniel survive without his coffee, will Jack put Daniel in Rehab, Will Teal'c say indeed, will Sam say something.
The Answer is Yes*
"Something"
"Why did you say that Carter?"
"The voiceover said I would"
"Indeed"
"T did you just say that because the voiceover told you to?"
"Indeed I did O'Neil"
"Hey Daniel, oh great where did he go? Why does he always wonder off? And how come nobody ever notices? Okay we have to find him guys. Okay if I was a geeky scientist who likes rocks and is addicted to coffee, where would I go?"
"The gateroom"
"Okay Sam, why?"
"Because Daniel has a secret stash of Brazilian blend there."
"If it is so secret how come you know about it?"
"Um, because, um, I, found it sir?"
"Right, Carter go alert the Doc. T and I will get Daniel."
"Yes sir."
In the Gateroom
"Daniel I have some gold blend here, come over and I'll give you some."
"Really, just hand it over Jack, I mean it I really need it, come on Jack just give me a taste."
"Come and get it, I'll be waiting out here."
Daniel follows Jack out of the gateroom and is grabbed form behind by Teal'k.
"Teal'c that is so not fair, I just wanted Jack's coffee!"
"Danny we are just going to see the Doc first"
"Oh that's okay then"
*Will this be the end of the line for this writer, will this be a pointless voiceover, will anything interesting happen soon?
Probably not, actually I have no idea, I forgot to read ahead.*
Medical Center
Daniel is in a padded cell; the team and Janet look in at him
"I need some coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, I just need some coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee,"
"Um doc, how long will this last?"
"For quite a while I'm afraid. Daniel has been addicted to coffee for too long, way to long; it is like he's been on a coffee high for most of his life. I'm afraid it is not going to be pretty when he comes down."
"Oh so that's why he doesn't sleep and has all those mood swings?"
"That's right, I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep him here with me, for a while until he can function properly with out the coffee."
"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am and stop calling me Shirley."
"I need coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee," coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee."
*This is where it ends, Thanks for those who actually read this!*
*Why Danny gets Kicked off the Team* Written by Zork the Unbearable while on a Coca-Cola induced sugar and caffeine high. The reason why Daniel Jackson gets kicked off SG-1.
Don't worry there are no spoilers around here!
********
*Ah the old SGC, the command center of the Stargate program. This is where we catch up with our favorite SG team, SG-1.*
"Since when do we have voiceovers?"
"It was in the notices last week O'Neil"
"I swear I'm not getting my memos."
Buzzers sound
"Hey SG-11 are home, that means Danny's home."
"Indeed it does"
Daniel runs up
"Jack look what I found at the temple!"
"Temple? What is it?"
"Its this big building where people worship gods, but that's not important right now"
"Okay"
"Look, I found this pottery piece and I think it has special meaning to someone, maybe someone that was visiting the temple!"
"Daniel Jackson I believe that is your coffee cup."
Looks at artifact, which is in fact a red coffee cup
"So I was right, it does mean something special, doesn't it? It means I really need some coffee."
Sam walks in
"Hi Daniel"
"Hi Sam"
"Um Daniel your coffee cup is empty, is something wrong?"
"Yes I'm out of coffee, I have to go get some or I might die.again."
"Right well we have a briefing in ten"
*Will Daniel get his coffee, will Jack find his missing memos, will Teal'k ever change that facial expression, will Sam have a major part in this story?
The answer to all these questions is no.*
Ten minutes later, Daniel runs crying into the briefing room.
"General Hammond, a world is in great danger, you have to help it!"
"Dr Jackson what on earth are you talking about?"
"THERE IS NO COFFEE, I need coffee but there is none, I looked everywhere I didn't even find decaf, I am going to die.Again."
"Dr Jackson, you are not going to die, coffee withdrawal does not kill people."
"Yes it does, I've seen it happen, I just need another cup, just one. Why won't you give me any? Is it because you're hiding it from me, so you can have it all to yourself?"
"Oi Danny get a hold of yourself, or I will see that you are put into rehab with Dr Fraiser."
Daniel stops, thinks for a minute, smiles then carries on.
"No Jack don't, I um don't need rehab, I just need some coffee. Its too late for me to drink it now I think I need a coffee drip, just tap it into my vein."
"That is it Daniel, you are going into Rehab!"
"Yesssssssss, I mean no I don't need to be locked up with only Janet to talk to."
*Will Daniel survive without his coffee, will Jack put Daniel in Rehab, Will Teal'c say indeed, will Sam say something.
The Answer is Yes*
"Something"
"Why did you say that Carter?"
"The voiceover said I would"
"Indeed"
"T did you just say that because the voiceover told you to?"
"Indeed I did O'Neil"
"Hey Daniel, oh great where did he go? Why does he always wonder off? And how come nobody ever notices? Okay we have to find him guys. Okay if I was a geeky scientist who likes rocks and is addicted to coffee, where would I go?"
"The gateroom"
"Okay Sam, why?"
"Because Daniel has a secret stash of Brazilian blend there."
"If it is so secret how come you know about it?"
"Um, because, um, I, found it sir?"
"Right, Carter go alert the Doc. T and I will get Daniel."
"Yes sir."
In the Gateroom
"Daniel I have some gold blend here, come over and I'll give you some."
"Really, just hand it over Jack, I mean it I really need it, come on Jack just give me a taste."
"Come and get it, I'll be waiting out here."
Daniel follows Jack out of the gateroom and is grabbed form behind by Teal'k.
"Teal'c that is so not fair, I just wanted Jack's coffee!"
"Danny we are just going to see the Doc first"
"Oh that's okay then"
*Will this be the end of the line for this writer, will this be a pointless voiceover, will anything interesting happen soon?
Probably not, actually I have no idea, I forgot to read ahead.*
Medical Center
Daniel is in a padded cell; the team and Janet look in at him
"I need some coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, I just need some coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee,"
"Um doc, how long will this last?"
"For quite a while I'm afraid. Daniel has been addicted to coffee for too long, way to long; it is like he's been on a coffee high for most of his life. I'm afraid it is not going to be pretty when he comes down."
"Oh so that's why he doesn't sleep and has all those mood swings?"
"That's right, I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep him here with me, for a while until he can function properly with out the coffee."
"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am and stop calling me Shirley."
"I need coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee," coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee."
*This is where it ends, Thanks for those who actually read this!*