So I came up with the idea for this because some of the line reminded me of Gibbs…and so I wrote it on a whim. It's kind of random and rambling and not very connected…and some of the details might be off because I haven't watched the episode where Jenny is introduced or where she dies. This is a ONE-SHOT just so you know…so umm…please read and review! The song is Old Soldiers by Hal Ketchum.
Old habits die hard, some wounds never heal
We got what we came for, this is part of the deal
I can't forget you, I can't even try
Sometimes it seems like somebody died
He never could set that bourbon habit straight. And thinking about all he'd lost when he'd lost Shannon and Kelly still could still make him feel physically ill with grief. He knew he would never be the same. Jenny changed it all, she changed him. Jenny was just supposed to be a warm body, a night's entrainment. He wasn't supposed to feel anything. He wasn't supposed to fall in love, he should have known better. When their lives took separate tracks, he felt like he lost the woman he loved all over again.
Old soldiers die hard, old hearts beat slow
Old friends go easy, old lovers just go
Old soldiers that didn't die in battle died after their own battles, the ones in their minds, which are the worst. Old hearts don't always beat steady and strong like they should. Sometimes old friends lose touch and faded into old photographs. And old lovers? They just disappear.
Some fools never learn, ain't that what they say
I turned for a moment, you turned away
You had your reasons, God only knows
If it bothered you baby, it never showed
Someone might have called him a fool for loving a woman on a mission like she was. She'd never say why she tried to contact him; he didn't even know if it bothered her. Somehow he doubted it.
Old soldiers die hard, old hearts beat slow
Old friends go easy, old lovers just go
Old soldiers die hard, old heads hang low
Old friends go easy, old lovers just go
He'd seen better soldiers than himself die deaths that gave him nightmares just remembering. He'd seen hearts slow then just stop. He'd lost touch with a friend and reconnected with them in the obituaries. He'd seen tired old women with their heads hung low, tears in their eyes at the edge of a grave for boy who had died much too young. He'd watched more than one woman walk out of his life.
I keep telling myself that it's alright
But I know that later on tonight
Old soldiers cry hard, old hearts beat slow
Old friends go easy, old lovers just go
He never let his walls down any more. After Jenny came back into his life, he wondered if they could begin again. But after she was really gone, really gone, he saw his life flash before his eyes. He saw Paris and Mexico in alternating colors, he saw a blue eyed baby girl with his name on her wrist. He saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. He saw a boat made out of grief and hatred and pain and sorrow and happiness and death. He let his walls down that night, alone in his bed. He knew he was just another old soldier without much left to lose, just waiting until that day he would die. He would almost welcome it.
Old soldiers die hard, old heads hang low
Old friends go easy, old lovers just go
Tell me what you think please!
~Striker