Daytime Blues
Note: I don't own any part of Legacy of Kain so please don't sue me. This fanfic is about how Raziel and his brothers pass the time of waiting for the sun to go down.
(The scene opens on Raziel, Turiel and Dumah sitting around a table playing cards)
Dumah: Got any 8s?
Turiel: Go fish.
Dumah: F**k you!………..f**k………f**k. You guys hear that?
Raziel: Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. The author decided to edit and censor this fanfic.
Turiel: Ah sh*t! I hate that f**king bleeping sound! F**k you, author!
The Author: (steps out with an eraser) What was that?!
Turiel: Nothing master! (Turiel bows and kisses the author's feet. The author steps back into nothingness.)
Dumah: Let's play Yatzee!
Raziel: That game's for losers.
Dumah: Melchiah, Zephon and Rahab play it all the time.
Raziel: I rest my case. God I'm so f**king bored! And to make matters worse, I can't find my smokes.
Turiel: Oh c'mon Raziel, sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the roses.
Raziel: Good idea. (Raziel grabs a rose, lights it up and begins smoking it) Oh man! That's some good sh*t right there!
Turiel: Hey, I've gotta an idea! Let's take a picture of Ariel and send it to Hardcopy. They're paying $500 each ghost photo.
Raziel: And what will we do after that?
Turiel: Uh…well….um………Oh f**k it, I don't know!
Dumah: Hey, let's play Yatzee!
Turiel: You already said that, damn it!
Raziel: Let's play some b-ball.
Turiel: Indoors?
Raziel: Why the hell not? This place is big enough. (Raziel, Turiel, and Dumah call in Rahab, Zephon, and Melchiah to pick teams)
Dumah: I pick Rahab!
Turiel: Zephon.
Raziel: (sighs) C'mon Melchiah.
Melchiah: Oh boy! (jumps with glee)
(The teams of Dumah and Turiel play first. While Raziel and Melchiah sit out. Turiel darts at Dumah and Dumah tries to steal the ball, but Turiel quickly turns right and throws the ball, making a 3 pointer. Turiel does this 8 more times and succeeds but on the 9th try, Dumah decides to try a new tactic. Turiel predicts this and counters by bouncing the ball off Dumah's head, knocking him out of the way and allowing Turiel to run up to the goal and slam-dunk it)
Dumah: (rubbing his forehead) you got lucky! (Raziel and Melchiah step out to play basketball with Turiel and Zephon)
Turiel: You're going down, c**ksucker!
Raziel: Oh yeah?! (As the game begins, Raziel picks up Melchiah and throws him at Turiel. Turiel ducks and Melchiah hits Zephon enstead)
Zephon: FOUL!!! (Zephon takes the ball and tries to do a penalty shot. He misses, the rolls into Kain's thrown room and knochs over the Soul Reaver)
Rahab: Oh sh*t! Someone's gonna get it!
Kain: (walks out of thrown room) Who the f**k knocked over the f**king Soul Reaver, god f**k it!
Raziel: …….
Turiel: ……..
Dumah: …….
Rahab: ……..
Zephon: ……..
Melchiah: ………um………….(points toward Kain's throne room)……Ariel did it.
Kain: That f**king, no good c**k sucking (Long stream of bleeping) BITCH!!!
Rahab: Yeah she's a real a**hole. What was that noise?!
Dumah: Forget it, you'll drive yourself crazy worring about it.
Kain: (walks back into thrownroom) Ariel! Ariel, where the hell are you?! You are so f**king dead!
Ariel: (materializes) Well f**king duh.
Kain: That's it! (Kain kills Ariel with the Soul Reaver)
Raziel: Wait a f**king minute! That's not how the f**king hell it goes! I'm suppose to use the Soul Reaver to slice the sh*t outta Ariel! We're all in deep sh*t now! (Because Kain screws up the plot line, the entire world of Nosgoth collapses and the space-time continuum unravels)
Zephon: Where……….where are we? (Kain and the six lieutenants peer into the void surrounding them)
Narrator: You have entered another f**king dimension. A f**king dimension of not only f**king sight and sound, but also of f**king mind……..and some other really really weird sh*t.
Kain: Jeez! The Twilight Zone! Now I gotta deal with that c**ksucking narrator!
Narrator: I heard that, you a**hole!
Melchiah: What do we so now?
Dumah: Let's play yatzee!
Raziel: Shut up! I hate that game!
Kain: (punches Raziel) You watch your f**king mouth! I love that game! (Raziel walks away, sobbing, while the others play Yatzee. The camera fades to black and the ending credits play).
Note: I don't own any part of Legacy of Kain so please don't sue me. This fanfic is about how Raziel and his brothers pass the time of waiting for the sun to go down.
(The scene opens on Raziel, Turiel and Dumah sitting around a table playing cards)
Dumah: Got any 8s?
Turiel: Go fish.
Dumah: F**k you!………..f**k………f**k. You guys hear that?
Raziel: Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. The author decided to edit and censor this fanfic.
Turiel: Ah sh*t! I hate that f**king bleeping sound! F**k you, author!
The Author: (steps out with an eraser) What was that?!
Turiel: Nothing master! (Turiel bows and kisses the author's feet. The author steps back into nothingness.)
Dumah: Let's play Yatzee!
Raziel: That game's for losers.
Dumah: Melchiah, Zephon and Rahab play it all the time.
Raziel: I rest my case. God I'm so f**king bored! And to make matters worse, I can't find my smokes.
Turiel: Oh c'mon Raziel, sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the roses.
Raziel: Good idea. (Raziel grabs a rose, lights it up and begins smoking it) Oh man! That's some good sh*t right there!
Turiel: Hey, I've gotta an idea! Let's take a picture of Ariel and send it to Hardcopy. They're paying $500 each ghost photo.
Raziel: And what will we do after that?
Turiel: Uh…well….um………Oh f**k it, I don't know!
Dumah: Hey, let's play Yatzee!
Turiel: You already said that, damn it!
Raziel: Let's play some b-ball.
Turiel: Indoors?
Raziel: Why the hell not? This place is big enough. (Raziel, Turiel, and Dumah call in Rahab, Zephon, and Melchiah to pick teams)
Dumah: I pick Rahab!
Turiel: Zephon.
Raziel: (sighs) C'mon Melchiah.
Melchiah: Oh boy! (jumps with glee)
(The teams of Dumah and Turiel play first. While Raziel and Melchiah sit out. Turiel darts at Dumah and Dumah tries to steal the ball, but Turiel quickly turns right and throws the ball, making a 3 pointer. Turiel does this 8 more times and succeeds but on the 9th try, Dumah decides to try a new tactic. Turiel predicts this and counters by bouncing the ball off Dumah's head, knocking him out of the way and allowing Turiel to run up to the goal and slam-dunk it)
Dumah: (rubbing his forehead) you got lucky! (Raziel and Melchiah step out to play basketball with Turiel and Zephon)
Turiel: You're going down, c**ksucker!
Raziel: Oh yeah?! (As the game begins, Raziel picks up Melchiah and throws him at Turiel. Turiel ducks and Melchiah hits Zephon enstead)
Zephon: FOUL!!! (Zephon takes the ball and tries to do a penalty shot. He misses, the rolls into Kain's thrown room and knochs over the Soul Reaver)
Rahab: Oh sh*t! Someone's gonna get it!
Kain: (walks out of thrown room) Who the f**k knocked over the f**king Soul Reaver, god f**k it!
Raziel: …….
Turiel: ……..
Dumah: …….
Rahab: ……..
Zephon: ……..
Melchiah: ………um………….(points toward Kain's throne room)……Ariel did it.
Kain: That f**king, no good c**k sucking (Long stream of bleeping) BITCH!!!
Rahab: Yeah she's a real a**hole. What was that noise?!
Dumah: Forget it, you'll drive yourself crazy worring about it.
Kain: (walks back into thrownroom) Ariel! Ariel, where the hell are you?! You are so f**king dead!
Ariel: (materializes) Well f**king duh.
Kain: That's it! (Kain kills Ariel with the Soul Reaver)
Raziel: Wait a f**king minute! That's not how the f**king hell it goes! I'm suppose to use the Soul Reaver to slice the sh*t outta Ariel! We're all in deep sh*t now! (Because Kain screws up the plot line, the entire world of Nosgoth collapses and the space-time continuum unravels)
Zephon: Where……….where are we? (Kain and the six lieutenants peer into the void surrounding them)
Narrator: You have entered another f**king dimension. A f**king dimension of not only f**king sight and sound, but also of f**king mind……..and some other really really weird sh*t.
Kain: Jeez! The Twilight Zone! Now I gotta deal with that c**ksucking narrator!
Narrator: I heard that, you a**hole!
Melchiah: What do we so now?
Dumah: Let's play yatzee!
Raziel: Shut up! I hate that game!
Kain: (punches Raziel) You watch your f**king mouth! I love that game! (Raziel walks away, sobbing, while the others play Yatzee. The camera fades to black and the ending credits play).