Myles Werkheiser
Baer
English 101.01
10/17/18
Rick and M-m-morty: Ball Fondlers
"M-m-m-m-m-m-morty you gotta come with me right now, I got some super cool shizz to show you!" Rick shouted as he barged into Morty's room.
"You know Rick you really shouldn't barge into my room like that I'm a young teenager with a laptop, you never know what could be happening in here, you're really playing with fire on that one Rick." Morty justifyingly explains.
The theme music starts playing along with the intro to introduce you to the wonderful world of Rick and Morty where everything seems to be backwards and everything else is still backwards. The camera switches to our main characters, Rick and Morty, just straight chillin' yo.
"Morty do you think it's time for interdimensional television 19 yet?"
"You know what Rick it's been a couple years so, yeah I think it's time we do another episode except this time… let's be the episode," Morty hypothesizes.
"Morty… that is the single handedly most… AMAZING idea you have ever had… " Rick shouts as he's shaking Morty, "... I have the best idea for it also, Morty we have to go into Ball Fondlers you know from like the first or second interdimensional television, it's hard to remember I was pretty fucked up,"
Morty and Rick then go into the garage to create something to get them into the best show on galaxy t.v. Rick hammers and screws away on his work desk for a while until he pulls up a weapon that almost looks like a portal gun but not quite. Instead of the green energy inside its a blueish purple energy floating around. Making morty curious as to what exactly he's made.
"Rick what exactly is this gonna do?"
"Well Morty since you have to know everything or you'll just be a whiny little bitch until I tell you, this is going to get us into Ball Fondlers by scanning the screen of the t.v. then creating a completely rendered world in which in sets up a portal and we can just walk right into it and F some shizz up in the A." Rick explains while taking a gulp of his flask mid explanation.
The powerful duo rushes to the living room puts on Ball Fondlers and Rick blasts the dimensional television show with the device. Rick forgot the carry the 3 again because instead of creating a portal to Ball Fondlers it brought the show to Earth.
"Oh shit Rick we really fucked up this time w-w-w-what are we gonna do Rick?"
"Shut up Morty I can fix this like I always do while you just sit there and soil your pants like the other thousands of times it has happened." Rick shouts at Morty angrily.
As the duo is arguing the characters from interdimensional television are just spilling out and causing chaos in the streets as the team of four set up and try to kill their arch-nemesis, Poncho. He has been a major nuisance in the Ball Fondlers series since Rick and Morty can remember. The both of them run up to him and ask him for an autograph because as true Rick and Morty fashion they idolize the villain in anything. Poncho, him being a villain and all, says it will only happen if they help him defeat the Ball Fondlers.
"Rick we have to do this he's galactic level famous."
"Morty who knows what will happen to the show if we help him out because if you haven't realized there are ten different ways it could end and all ten end with Ball Fondlers being cancelled, this is the real world now Morty not some fake fantasy world like I made for your Mom when she was a young child."
"But Rick… he is famous and our favorite character its either we do this or I'm out Rick and I won't be there to help you."
"First off, you act like I actually need your help, I just bring you here so your mom knows you won't be alone in your room to think about killing yourself. Second off Morty, if you haven't realized Poncho is already dead because we kept him distracted so I guess we'll have to settle for some signatures from the good guys." Explained Rick.
Morty absolutely devastated, walks with his head down to ask the powerful squad of 4 to ask them for an autograph.
"Hey guys could I uh, maybe get an autograph or something like that I'm a really big fan."
Casual Alligator responds, " Of course you can little guy! You did after all help us take down poncho once and for all."
Slow Pilot tells Morty, " Eeeeehhhh ErrrRReerr uuuuHHHuhuhh Shmpleepfdsahfbl."
School Girl Man translating Slow Pilot states, "He says hell no this kid seems lame, but I don't agree you guys seem cool and if you haven't noticed he's a little slow so we don't really listen to him ever."
Dollar Store Wonder Woman is completely unnoticed to the conversation and is looking out like there might be something else coming to challenge them. Out of the shadows of the trees comes out an army of hamsters that are going to take them out and take over the world like they have been planning since the squirrels were revealed and wiped out by Morty and his grandfather. The hamsters are squeaking loudly so Rick goes inside to grab the animalizer, a device that reads the voices of animals and makes humans understand them.
"Humans your species disgusts us with how you idolize sex and reality television. We are here to exterminate you and take you hostage as slaves so you can understand the true glory of documentaries."
Rick, Morty and The Ball Fondlers all team up in heroic fashion to destroy the population of hamsters so the world may live in peace. Little did they know the hamsters have already taken multiple humans hostage and are using them against our A-Team of sorts except not anywhere close to as cool. Just more dumb if we're being honest. Just a bunch of idiot killing hamsters. Did I just run out of ideas for story telling.
Anyway our heroes have successfully wiped out mass amounts of hamsters but they keep hearing about a secret underground civilization known as The Scourge. The Scourge has been launching guerilla attacks all around the world but our heroes have finally found out how to wipe out the existence of hamsters.
"Morty we have to get these guys back into the television before we end this."
"Rick how are we supposed to do that?" Morty powerfully asks.
"We have to overload the portal gun with the same schematics as the other one I made to get us into the T.V. and we shoot it at each of them and they are back to being television stars." Rick explains.
Just as Morty is about to get off his final goodbye to the Ball Fondlers Rick blasts them with the modified portal gun and they disappear.
Morty turns to Rick with a drab look on his face, "Well Rick I think we should just let the stars stay where they belong, now let's get rid of these hamsters once and for all."
"Couldn't have said it better myself Morty." Rick and his grandson portal to the main location of The Scourge.
Rick and Morty proceed to annihilate any and all hamsters they see in the crypts of the Earth showing no mercy and no discrimination, no matter how fluffy or cute they might be, and boy were some of those fuckers cute. Rick slashes and Morty quiveringly hashes at the adorable monstrosities to once again save the world. They are presumably met with a slightly larger hamster that instead of being the size of a softball is more like the size of a bowling ball. They only can assume he's the leader as he is the only hamster left for them to destroy.
"Morty what say we have a little fun with this furball?"
"I dunno Rick I think you should just end it so we can go home and relax I'm starting to get a little tired and think we should really just end this.
"Ugh fine Morty lets do it your way and be boring and lame like you always want to be, you never want to be unique or fun just follow everything you're told like a little machine. You know Morty you would be perfect for the government you just do whatever you're told without question, just like your father."
"Shut up Rick and just smash the tiny thing already." Morty grudgingly states as Rick slowly but powerfully walks up to the hamster as X Gon' Give it to Ya by DMX slowly fades into the audio and Rick starts pummeling the demonic yet adorable furball of death.
Rick and Morty have successfully brought TV characters into the real world and defeated a large army of hamsters that were going to take over the world and maybe possibly the universe we honestly don't know the extent to which they could have gone after taking over humanity. Al though it is very likely they could have, they were unusually smart for their size. Regardless the duo has since returned to their home with the rest of the family and started going on their regular daily adventures that you see throughout the show.
As the screen fades out to trigger the end of the show a glimpse of Evil Morty is shown along with his theme song. Could these possibly be related in anyway? Was Evil Morty behind all of this? We may never know because I don't think this story will be continued or touched up on again, but just in case stay tuned to find out...