EEL-FIN FRIED
Seriously why hasn't anyone tried crossing these two series over yet? Come on they both have tentacles in them for crying out loud! Alright maybe it's an odd combination but I'm sure you'll find some parallels somewhere in this little story. This fic is rated K+ but I should caution you for some mild violence - and really lame puns ahead...So sit back and enjoy some squid ink pasta as you read (what I hope will be) my epic X-over!
Foolish humans...You have mocked me and my domain for many centuries, but now your filthy reign must come to an end! I will subject you all under my tyranny as revenge for all the pollution you have caused to my home...
Prepare for the Inkvasion...
…
Rising out of the murky depths of Kamakura's beach, a seemingly ordinary girl emerged. With eyes of determination, this warrior was about to embark on a war against mankind...Nobody could prepare themselves for the sheer terror and destruction waiting to be unleashed by the menacing tentacles of...
Squid Girl...
"That's right you puny air suckers! I'm gonna clean this land of your kind and take over the world! MWAHAHAHA!" As Squid Girl declared her war against humanity, she stepped out of the shallows, revealing her white dress and puffy boots. Her blue hair was shaped like a number of octopus tentacles.
"It's 'squid'! SQUID!" Oh sorry, shaped like squid tentacles. Oh and she hat this weird little paper hat on or something as well.
"Now let's get this squid started!" Squid Girl punched her fists as she grinned in anticipation for the Inkvasion of Mankind.
But before she could claim any human territory, she was about to engage with her first enemies.
"Humph, foolish naive humans, playing with each other on the beach without a care in the world..." Little did our sea saviour realise that those two people she was suffering two were hardly playing at all – or if they were it was some kind of extreme sport where you tried shooting or killing the other player.
"I'll get you this time horned freak!" One of the playful humans said as he loaded another catridge in his gun. "Twenty-third round lucky this time 'kay!" BOOM.
"KYAH! Hey watch where you you point that thing." Squid girl pouted as she wiped the sand off her dress. "Aw geez now look what you've done!"
"You won't give up trying to kill me until I slice you into a million bite sized pieces won't you?" The other playful pink-haired human said as she leapt a high distance over her opponent, before gracefully landing on the ground and kicking up a wall of sand – strangely without using her legs, or arms for that matter!
"HAHA! This looks like a fun game you humans play on the beach. Well enjoy your last game fishies, coz soon you'll be canned tuna when I'm through with you and your kind!" Squid Girl lifted a tentacled hair to her mouth as she laughed with pride.
Somehow, her frightening words were not getting through to these two humans. Instead they continued firing bullets or punching invisible holes in the air.
"HEY, why aren't you guys taking me seariously?" Squid Girl stomped over as she went between their little battle.
"Ugh! Watch out kid!" The larger man shoved her into the wet sand as he dodged another sharp jet of air.
Squid Girl was now mad...
"That's it! I thought I'd offer you two some mersea but you've gone too far now! Now I'm kraken inked!" The fearsome underwater creature unleashed her hair tentacles onto her opponents. Both of them seemed quite shocked when they found themselves tied up in her tentacled grip.
"What are you?" The pink haired girl said with much indifference to her predicament.
"Gah! What do you mean what am I: I am Squid Girl: emissary of the sea; I've come here on your land to claim back what is rightfully ours...I will subjugate you humans for all the litter and pollution you have laid waste upon my beautiful- WAGH wait what are you doing?"
The larger man seemed to free himself easily enough from Squid Girl's tentacles using his sheer strength. The pink haired girl found it just as easy when she managed to slice way the blue ropes which bound her using her mysterious slicer.
"I'm bored, let's fight again tomorrow." the bulky man said as the two of them went their separate ways.
"Now wait just a kraken minute you guys! I was trying to say something?" Squid Girl kicked the sand as she felt like she was being ignored. "Hey you! Look what you did to my tentacles! You'll flay for that!"
But just as she went after the pink haired girl, she felt herself being touched by several cold tentacles. Yet she couldn't see anything on her body...She wondered what this seemingly ordinary girl really was. And when she spoke, she had a deathly tone about it- one that could kill a crustacean...or even a Squid (girl)! "Don't come near me...Unlike those things you use, mine aren't just for building sandcastles..." And after a few more seconds feeling the cold invisible tentacles brush past her neck, the girl turned away and made her departure from the sandy shore.
Needless to say...our poor little emissary of the sea was terrified...Trembling and whimpering with watery eyes, she waited for the girl to leave view before she dared utter another word. "She's, she's no ordinary human...
…
LATER THAT EVENING:
So far the Inkvasion of Mankind was going nowhere...Squid Girl had become highly demoralised after that brief confrontation. She had been trawling around Kamakura's markets, receiving a whole bunch of odd stares, pointing fingers and comments as she wandered aimlessly for some grub.
"Ooh...I'm so starving I could eat a seahorse..." She grumbled as she walked towards a random counter.
"Hello there little girl, would you like something?" The friendly man behind the counter asked.
"Silly human, I'm no ordinary girl I'm-" Oh wait! If I remain undercover for a while, I can take advantage of the humans provisions, then resume the attack at dawn when I have a full stomach. "Okay, human, I'll have one of whatever you serve here."
"Well uh..." The scruffy man scratched his head as he looked down at the emissary of the sea. "We have all kinds of crepes here. There's chocolate crepes, vanilla crepes, or you can have one of our savoury crepes."
Squid Girl placed a tentacled hair to her chin. "Um...do you have anything with plankton in it?"
The man lifted a confused eyebrow. "Well, we have chicken crepes..."
"Then I'll take one of them thank you." Squid Girl nodded with a cheerful smile as she waited for her food.
"Okay...that'll be 500 yen please." As the man waited for the Squid Girl to give him the money she remained standing there smiling and completely oblivious to the rituals of humanity.
"So can I have my chicken crepe now?" She chirped awkwardly
But the man seemed to be waiting for something as he crossed his arms. "Ahem! Miss you have to pay before I can give you your crepe."
"Pay? What the kelp is that?"
"Uh...You don't have any money at all do ya kid?" The man seemed more aggressive now as he leaned down and glared at her with narrow eyes.
"Money? Oh squid! What is this 'money' I need?" These humans seem to have put the number on ol' Squiddy with this subtle tactic...So they think they can win by making me starve huh? Well I'll find this 'money' of there's and soon rule the world MWAHAHAHAHA!
"Um...Are you gonna be much longer little girl?" A man queried the little squirter from behind.
"You just wait a squid human. I'm trying to find some money." The man looked fairly young and plain looking. So too was the girl next to him.
"Kouta, don't be too harsh on her...The poor thing sounds like she's got no money." The other girl said as she crouched down to her eye level. "How about I buy you one of those crepes hey?"
Squid Girl blinked for a few moments looking like a slack jawed sponge when she finally responded. "Oh okay..."
…
"This crepe is squillicious!" The inkcentric invertebrate said as she walked with the two older teenagers down the busy street.
"It is isn't it?" Yuka beamed as she smiled down at the little paper-hat wearing child.
"Yuka don't encourage her..." Kouta whispered loudly in Yuka's ear. "She looks crummy and says these lame ocean puns all the time."
"She probably can't help it." Yuka whispered back. "She might have Autism or something."
"What are those silly bipeds talking about?" Squid Girl wondered as she sunk her teeth into some more crepe. Perhaps these humans will take me back to there base of operations. From there I can build an outpost and recruit more followers for the Inkvasion!
"So what's your name anyway?" Yuka asked kindly as they began ascending a steep climb of stairs through the forest.
"My name is Squid Girl." Squid Girl was quick to reveal her cover. "Emissary of the sea- I mean just an ordinary girl thank you."
Kouta scrunched his face as he looked down at her with a confused glare. "So why are you still following us anyway? Don't you have like parents or a home somewhere round here?"
"The sea is my home silly!" Squid Girl shouted, now going back out of cover. "I am the mother of all of the oceans creatures – and their protector and queen MWAHAHAHA!"
"Riiiight." Kouta nodded as he hurled his bag of groceries over his shoulder.
"Sorry about Kouta, he can be a bit cynical at times." Yuka apologised. "Well you're more than welcome to have dinner at our place tonight!"
"How come whenever I try andbring another girl to our place for dinner I get a sandal in my face but when you decide to bring one over it's perfectly fine?" Kouta grumbled.
"Because, when I invite another person around for dinner, I'm doing it without any 'hidden' motives" She slid a snake like gaze towards Kouta.
"I keep telling you I'm not like that!" Kouta pleaded as the two of them (plus one Squid Girl) made their way to the front gate. "Oh...I guess it can't be helped..."
"Is this where you humans live?' Squid Girl pondered.
"Yes it is." Yuka answered cheerfully. "And there are four more of us at home as well...I think they'll all make you feel very welcome here Squid Girl." Yuka patted her head.
"We're back everyone!" Kouta shouted out as they entered the gate.
"Welcome home." A girl the same size as Squid Girl but with short black hair skipped out onto the courtyard. "Hello there...Are you having dinner with us tonight?"
"Yes she is...This is Squid Girl." Yuka kindly introduced the blue tentacle-haired girl.
"Well I'm Mayu. It's a pleasure to meet you Squid Girl."
As they all made their way inside, Squid Girl stopped at the door when she noticed a strange beast guarding the entrace. "What the whale is that creature?" She flinched back a few metres as the four legged creature wagged its tail and started barking.
"You've never seen a dog before?" Kouta answered. "He's Wanta. Don't worry he's very friendly." He kneeled down and gave the little puppy a pet as he coaxed Squid Girl over. "Go on he's really nice.
Squid girl's jaw quiver as she slid her foot an inch closer, opting to reach out with one of her tentacled hairs instead.
"Hey that's pretty amazing." Kouta observed the tentacled girl's hair. "How do you-"
"WAGH! LET GO! LET GO!" Squid Girl was suddenly under attack as the four legged guardian of the house clamped his canines down on her tentacle. "WAAHH!"
"WANTA NO!" Mayu ran over and pried out his jaws, freeing the emissary of the sea from its torture. "Bad Wanta, we don't do that!"
"Sorry Squid Girl...Are you alright?' Yuka rubbed her shoulder. "Let's come on inside."
"Ungh...These humans have installed an elaborate trap here...I'll have to be more careful next time."
"HmmHmm, Kouta isn't she just so cute?" Yuka giggled as they went into the dining room.
"More like a complete nutcase if you ask me." Kouta groaned.
"We're back everyone. And we've brought a special guest over for dinner today." Squid Girl discovered two more of the humans sitting by a small table...An older girl with long black hair and a younger looking one with short...
...pink hair...
Oh no...
"Nozomi, Nana, this is Squid girl."
"Hello Squid Girl..." Nana waved.
"Uh...Hi..." Nozomi greeted her shyly.
She has pink hair like that girl on the beach...What if she possesses those strange tentacles as her.
"Where's Nyu?" Kouta asked them.
"Oh she should be around somewhere." Nana mentioned.
I need to get out of here...This is clearly an ambush...I shoud've known the humans were recruiting more advanced lifeforms on their side!
"GAH!" Squid Girl jolted as she felt someone tapping her shoulder from behind.
"Oh there's Nyu." everyone else seemed happy but Squid Girl was utterly terrified. Now she could smell it...It was the same smell from from the beach. She anxiously creaked her head around and was met with the deadly terror from before.
"Nyu~!"
"NOOOOO!" Squid Girl had to fight for her life. In a sudden frenzy she tackled Nyu to the ground strangling her with her eight blue tentacles of doom. "I'll save you all! She's a monster! DIE!-!-!-!-!-!"
"N-n-n-y-y-y-u-uuu..." The pink haired girl wheezed as she held out a hand for mercy.
"SQUID GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING!-?" Kouta tried pulling her off Nyu but Squid Girl was now determined to finish the battle from before.
"YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ENDS THIS SQUIDMENT!" She snarled as she wrenched her tentacles tighter around her neck.
"Squid Girl please let go! You're hurting Nyu!" Yuka and the others joined in trying to restrain the mad mollusc as their combined strength finally managed to throw her off Nyu, sending her tumbling into a wall.
"Uhhh..." But Squid Girl was quick to recover. "Why are you protecting that girl? She's evil!"
"That's enough Squid Girl." Kouta scolded her like a parent would to his child. "You're not welcome in here if you intent to hurt others."
"But-but it's cold outside and there's that terrifying Wanta out there."
"Squid Girl..." And with his hand pointing outside, Squid Girl knew she had failed her mission to infiltrate the humans headquarters. She sulked to herself as she made her way outside, planting herself down on the porch.
"Why do I feel so sad all of a sudden..." Squid Girl felt a salty tear trail down her eye. "It's not like I actually wanted to have dinner with them or anything...But, now I'm all alone and squivering." She could feel the harsh night breeze against her scales. "I just want to Inkvade mankind..Why did they have to be so mean?"
"Nyu~!" Squid Girl turned and saw somebody put down a plate of ramen next to her.
"GAH! Have you come to finally take your vengeance upon me. Then go ahead...You're clearly the true master of the tentacles...I can't even see your ones..."
"Nyu~?" Nyu persisted as she shoved the meal closer to the melancholy Squid.
"Is this...For me?" She looked at the menacing pink-haired tentacle weilder's eyes, noticing the warmth and generosity bestowed within them. "After what I did?"
"Nyu." She nodded.
"Oh~ thank you so much!" Squid Girl slurped up all the ramen before wiping her mouth and belching loudly. "Pwah, that was kraken good!"
"Nyu!" Nyu answered as the rest of the residents walked back outside.
"Nyu, why did you go and give her your dinner after what she did?' Kouta shook his head.
"Look I'm eely sorry. I have nowhere else to go on your land..." Squid Girl entered the kow-towing position as she humbly apologised to the hosts. "Won't you please let this poor squid stay here for tonight?"
Kouta and Yuka thought about it for a moment before the young man sighed. "Oh, I suppose we have plenty of spare rooms to fill her anyway..."
"Eeally?" squid Girl clapped her hands joy. "I'm so Rayful!"
"But you'll be fixing the wall and doing all the chores..." Kouta explained his conditions. "Oh and you must speak properly – no more lame ocean puns!"
"But that's Inkpossible!" Squid Girl tried to reason with the man of the house. As they rest of them finally made there way back inside, Squid Girl grumbled as she followed them.
"By the way Squid." Squid girl felt Nyu tap her on the shoulder again. But she reeled back when he noticed it was her invisible tentacle gripping hard around her shoulder. With her face now covered in dark shadow, Nyu glared at her tentacled adversary with blood red glimmers in her eyes. "Try and choke me with those hair extensions of your again and I'll sned you back to the ocean...in a body bag!"
"*Gulp*...Uhhhhh okay..."
"NYU!" And just like that, the demon girl had returned to her innocent childlike self; hopping up the stairs as she kept singing her favourite word. "~Nyu~Nyu~Nyu~Nyu~Nyuuuuu~"
The first day of the Inkvasion of Mankind was already over...
...It was going to be a long batter ahead...
Can you beilieve I've only seen three episodes of Squid Girl when I wrote this? I just felt so compelled to write a X-over after just a few episodes, that's how much I enjoyed the anime...Now as I go and watch some more Squiddy adventures I hope you will take the time out to leave a review. Go on, tell me what you thINK (I'm sorry -I'm sorry it's over now...).