It has been 3 weeks.

3 weeks since she got into the car accident.

I can´t stay here anymore and do nothing.

She has been unconscious for 3 weeks.

Mere will only let me go see her a couple days a week since I get all emotional and then I get sloppy and unmotivated in work.

I try to scoop by her room every time I can, even if mere or cristina won´t let me, I need to see her.

Every day I wake up hoping she has woken up so the first thing I do every morning since 3 weeks ago is call Cristina, she gets all the updates because she operated on her. She was able to fix all the damage and Derek was able to stop the bleeders in her brain but she hasn´t woken up.

At first I couldn´t believe it, the whole car thing I thought it was a sick joke or something but then I saw her in the ICU and all the guilt started flowing through my body.

It´s my fault. I ruin everything.

She was on the way to my house and it was snowing.

They found her car upside down under a bridge. I guess we got lucky someone spotted the car right when it was happened and called an ambulance immediately.

I stayed with her in the hospital for four days, sleeping there and when I needed to go on shifts I´ll go do them but I couldn´t stop thinking about her. Every time I went back up to her room I had this excitement, I thought maybe she would be up and conscious. But I get there and she looks the same and then I start worrying.

Will she wake up?

If she does, when?

Will she remember everything?

Will she remember me?

I finally got to agitated and depressed so Mere literally dragged me over to my house and since Cristina practicaly lives there now, Mere´s got her ´´taking care´´ of me. Wich consistes in her asking me every hour if im okay and making this idiot jokes I only find funny because it´s Cristina trying to pull off a joke.

I don´t get any sleep here cause I´m afraid I might get a call telling me she´s dead.

At least in the hospital, sleeping with her I knew I would be the first knowing if she wakes up. Cause she would wake up to me.

I can´t stand that I´m here and she´s there and I can´t stand the thought she may wake up and not remember anything.

This feels worse than when Izzie woke up and had short term memory. At least she was conscious.

I´m in the couch she gave me staring at the wall waiting for my alarm to go off and go to the hospital, at least work is an excuse to go pass the halls and see her.

Cristina comes running down the stairs.

- Is she awake? is there any update? is everything ok?

- Yes Alex, everything is ok besides the fact that she hasn´t waken up yet.

- I sigh. Can you please convince mere to let me go and stay the nights with her. I really don´t get much sleep here. At least I did there.

- Alex you get al cranky and emotional and you don´t seem like you when you are there, you know, careless Alex, Evil spawn?

- Do I seem like myself now?

-Cristina let´s out a sigh, I´ll try she says.

thoughts? I totally have a story in my mind for this fic. Prepare for some tears and angst. Sorry if my english is bad, I´m chilean, keep that in mind when you read my fics.