I Dream in Ashes

by Shadow of the Fire Bird

Cas Williams has always had a difficult time making sense of who she is and where's she's going; since becoming an Exorcist, more and more challenges have presented themselves but she always managed to overcome them through the bonds she's formed. Until now. With seemingly no way out, Cas is left with one question: where does she go from here? (Second in the Dream Scriptures)

1. Chapter 1

A/N: Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a great holiday. I certainly did: I had way too much chocolate and watched way too much One Piece (that show is taking over my life, please send help!) for my own good. I also dyed my hair! Silver! Now I kinda look like Allen:P

Anyways, enough about me. May I present "I Dream in Ashes", the second installment in my D Gray Man fanfiction series and the direct sequel to "I Dream in Blood".
For any readers of the previous fic returning for its continuation: Welcome back! For any new people who were just curious and clicked on this: Salutations! Thanks for coming, but I'd advise reading IDiB first or you'll probably be very confused.

And, with that, the wait is over. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy:D

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Chapter 1: The Asia Branch

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Breathing...I can't breathe.

No, I-

I can't see.

It's dark. I can't feel…anything.

Am I dead?

Well, I suppose that would make the most sense.

Cas…

Emma?

I can feel something; it's both around and within me simultaneously, but I can't tell if it's really the soul of my dead girlfriend or not.

I feel a tremor within my core that slowly spreads out around me, a softness rises up to meet me.

Then light explodes in front of my vision. A gasp catches in my throat as the blotchy grey images slowly fade back into clarity.

I stare straight ahead, blinking rapidly.

Blinking…Eyes.

Movement in my head, air in my lungs: dragging through my body in each labored breath.

I choke out a sharp cough and its seems to tear something delicate within me. My insides tremble atop the soft folds surrounding me.

I try to center myself: my thoughts are scattered, and my senses are unfocused.

Concepts seem to be whirling around in my mind like a tornado; I attempt to compose them, to lay them out in a basic algorithm, something I can understand despite my head feeling heavy like lead and my body stiff as a wooden board.

A few moments pass before my distorted thoughts are untangled.

I am Cassandra Williams. I was born on June 5th in New Orleans, Lousiana. I was raised in Waterende Germany. My mother is Elizabeth Williams; my grandmother is Audrey Williams.

It takes me a second to regain control of my mind, to focus my eyes on what's directly before me, or rather above me. There's a ceiling made of smooth gray stone with a crack running across its surface that's oddly shaped like a lightning bolt.

Each thought becomes clearer and each breath becomes slightly less painful as it tears free of my chest.

I am eighteen years old. I am an Exorcist of the Black Order European Branch.

And I-

I should be dead.

The memories seize me in that instant, flooding my entire being. I sit bolt upright, propelled forward as they fill me to the brim and I'm almost hurtled completely back into that moment.

The darkness, the cold, unforgiving earth beneath my head as I'm drowned in the moonlight with warm hands on and in my body, tearing through me as my hot Blood dies the clearing crimson.

I choke and gasp as the memories harden into a certainty within me; they're real, they happened. They've passed. As they sink into my skin, my hand presses to my chest.
There's a coldness beneath my fingers, cold like steel.

I glance down to see a wispy hospital gown is draped around my slight frame, and there's something bulky beneath it, pressing against my chest, suffocating me.

There's a heat surrounding my nose and mouth from a plastic oxygen mask, wafting with the steam from my breath tied around my face.

I grit my teeth but a groan still slips through. I then notice that my right arm is missing, and my left is so heavily fortified by a clunky brace of leather and metal it's pretty evident I can't move it on my own.

The memories linger: memories of Tyki. Seeing him, feeling him as he burns me, deeply, right through to my soul as he rips through my body, splintering my bone and spilling my Blood.

Running me dry and raw and…

And I can't breathe.

I'm shaking. It takes a second as the realization bubbles up within me for my mind to catch up.

Because I remember. I remember Allen.

It isn't a thought, it isn't an action, it's a pure, simple emotion.

Agony. And my soul is screaming.

A shriek tears through my chest, seemingly ripping me in half with all of the painful exertion it even takes to breathe. My whole body seizes and I'm knocked completely off balance.

The oxygen mask falls from my face, the band snapping away from me as it clatters into the sheets.

I fall from the bed, landing heavily on my right side due to its lack of an arm. I crawl forward a few centimeters, lugging the wire of an IV behind me.

I can't even process what exactly happened.

Just that Allen…Allen….

I seem to be in a loop, stuck on a stunted thought that just goes around and around and around like a scratched record player.

My heart…My heart is gone. Both physically and mentally, I know this as it has shattered into a million pieces.

Allen, my Allen.

The pain within me is raw and never-ending, a continual tearing through me again and again, slashing across my soul like a blade on a pendulum swing. I scream as the shards of my heart dig into my insides.

I scream with an emotion that cannot be described, cannot be explained.

It's a pain more intense than torn off arms, than shattered ribs or even a ripped out heart.

I'll take that over this. Anything-Anything but this.

Allen is dead.

My Allen is dead

Dead…Dead….Dead.

Allen is dead.

Over and over again it repeats in my mind. First it couldn't start and now it can't stop.

I scream and yell and cry in a blinding, furious agony as I beat my one remaining fist against the cold, polished ground, the metal brace clinking together with each strike.

It sends shocks throughout my entire body, shaking, seizing it. I gasp and sob, unable to breath.

It feels like my throat is closing, like I'm breaking. Like everything is breaking.

The pieces, slipping away, all of them, all ofhim.

His voice…his laugh…his smile as he looks up at me. the feeling of his hand in mine, my arms around him, holding him close, the smell in his hair, the tears in his eyes as I'd rejected him.

Allen…my Allen.

I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm so, so sorry.

Tears. Hot, pure tears slip from my eyes and pour thickly down my cheeks. They burn like acid, like poison in my veins. I choke, my voice going raw as I struggle to breathe.

My shoulders shake and my demolished chest heaves as I lean forward and press my forehead to the floor but the cool stone offers no relief.

The emotions surge within me, shifting from a terrible grief to a violent agony. I'm shrieking and yelling as I smash my head against the ground. There's a crack and a splinter and a burning in my brow as hot Blood dribbles from my hair line, mixing with the tears.

I'm angry; I'm furious. I'm yelling with such a rage it cannot be described.

Why? Why? WHY?

I don't know if that word is uttered only in my mind or screamed aloud. My voice has blurred into the background, like white noise in the distance.

Why did-Why did he have to-

"Why am I always left behind?" My voice drops off into a hoarse whisper in an arbitrary instant

It's enough for me to hear a footstep on the threshold.

"Hello, Cassandra."

I stiffen, but I don't turn around. I can't bring myself to: a numbness is slowly pouring into me, filling me up like cold, wet cement. So I remain crouched on the floor facing away from the doorway while the person within it continues to speak.

"Are you aware of where you are?"

I don't respond. My one arm is shaking, rattling the metal encasing it.

"Cassandra," the voice is pointed, almost angry.

I want to hit it, I want to crush into powder beneath my feet.

But I can't. I'm falling, falling away so fast, all over again, much quicker this time. A wound is always easier to tear open a second time, cut even deeper before.

That feeling, that feeling of nothingness, of an abyss within my own soul that always sleeps within my shadow but now has reared its head once again to rush to my side once I'd fallen once again.

Fallen in love as they fell from me.

Allen is dead, and I'm about to stop caring about it.

Like I'd stopped caring about Emma what now feels like such a long time ago.

"Cassandra, you don't have much time, so you need to listen to me. You are in the medical ward of the Black Order Asia Branch Headquarters. You have been unconscious for a week and you have suffered severe and impossible injuries. The fact that you are still breathing in this very moment is a miracle. Do you understand me?"

There is a pregnant pause before my lips part for, what I believe, to be the last time that I utter anything with feeling.

"Allen" Of course is what I say.

The voice hesitates for a mere moment before replying. "I'm sorry, Cassandra, but Allen Walker..."

They trail off, but they don't have to finish their sentence. I already know.

I shrivel on the floor, slumping even further forward as my Blood soaks into my hair

The knife embedded in me twists further in, round and round, ceaseless.

"My deepest condolences for your loss. You were found together in the forest on the premises by one of our associates. It was not immediately evident that you were alive, but I'm afraid it was too late for him."

I choke, my gasps come loud and rough, dragging up my throat like they're trying to remain trapped within me, barricaded deep down in the darkness as I slowly fold in on myself.

"Cassandra." More footsteps. The person leaves the doorway and comes around the side of the bed. I still don't turn to look at them despite their closer proximity. "Listen to me, when we found you, your heart was gone. It's been physically removed from your chest, and yet somehow you continue to breathe and exist in this world. You're on borrowed time, time you shouldn't even have."

See, even voices from the other side of the darkness seem to acknowledge the unfairness of my situation. What others might deem a miracle, I call a curse. Here I am: stealing air for my hungry lungs, still desperately trying to fulfill a purpose, made meaningless by the simple touch of a Noah.

Half alive and dying inside.

"The question is: what are you going to do with that time?"

These words strike me, like the lightning bolt crack in the ceiling.

"Are you going to continue to sit here, wasting away? I'd hate to sound inconsiderate; I understand that you are in pain, but do you not think there may be a better way to honor your fallen comrade that simply mourning?"

"I'm afraid in circumstances like these, things always move so much quicker. There often isn't time to respond to death in the traditional sense, but that is not the only way.

I'm shaking; I'm shaking bad. His words are reaching me, deeply. I squeeze my eye shut. The tears are still falling, but they're not as scalding as before.

"Do you not think it is better to honor Allen's memory by continuing to press on, to use what time you've been given to find an answer, a solution to your circumstances? Rather that letting his death be in vain, take him with you when you go on."

My eyes reopen, but my sight is almost blinding, like I'm seeing everything clearly for the first time. I look down at my one remaining hand: so broken and covered in layer upon layer of Bloody bandage and metallic brace that barely any skin is visible. I see the groves in the stone floor, the cracks beneath me. Every inch of every space in this simple little sliver of the world that I'm left clinging to.

The voice is right. Now I'm all that's left of Allen in this world. He died in my arms as I risked everything to keep him safe. While that fault is my own, our friendship wasn't. I can't simply fall away.

Perhaps my darkness will skulk back to my shadow where it belongs, just over my shoulder rather than within me, a part of me.

I have to honor Allen's memory.

I have to keep walking.

"Well, Cassandra Williams?" When the voice speaks to me, it sounds not as if it's simply coming from behind me, but in front of me and to the side of me and above, below me, even within me. "What are you going to do?"

I don't answer right away, everything seems slower, like I'm dizzy.

"You," I finally whisper. It still hurts to speak, but I do it anyway. "Who are you?" As I ask the question, I slowly turn my head and gaze up at the owner of the voice standing behind me with one hand resting on the rickety frame of my hospital bed.

He's of average stature, slender with a peaked, pointed face accented by sharp amber eyes with a cunning edge and framed by a mop of golden blonde hair. He's wearing a white and black Order-issued jacket in a similar style to European Branch Chief Komui complete with silver badge. Perched on his head is a black beret with a silvery bead dangling from tassel; this knocks against his head as he inclines it towards me.

After a moment, he smiles and holds out a hand. "My name is Bak Chang; I'm the Chief of the Asia Branch Headquarters."

I'm not really sure what to say in response to this; if this meeting had happened under any other circumstances, I might have had a sharp response: such as an observing comment on how he was the whitest-looking Asian man I'd ever seen or potentially even flirted with him despite the fact he looked nearly twice my age.
I said nothing; instead, I took his hand and allowed him to help me to my feet. I can't even bring myself up completely straight before my legs give out under me, like a puppet's without strings.

I collapse and Bak dives forward to catch me with both arms this time as I fall against his chest: breathing and shaking all over like an inebriated mess.

Just how many opiates am I on?

Evidently not enough because in this instant, that I'm slumped against this virtual stranger's chest does he lean down and whisper something so sudden, so shocking, so wonderful into my ear.

"Allen Walker is alive."

It takes a long, horrible moment for these words to sink in: like the slowly building vibrations emitting from a plucked guitar string.

I don't know what I feel; for a second, I'm terrified that I can't feel anything.

I suppose it's only befitting of myself that the first thing I feel is a scorching, red-hot anger. In a flurry of adrenaline-laced motion, I shove Bak from him and swing my barely-functioning arm in the most awkward of punches. It still meets its mark, socking the Branch Chief in the side of jaw.

He lets out a sharp cry of surprise and pain as we simultaneously stagger away from each other. I trip over my own feet and collapse to my knees, breathing heavily as fireworks erupt before my eyes.

"What the hell was that for?" Bak demands, gripping his cheek.

My head snaps up, glaring at him with as much ferocity as I can muster. "What do you mean "what was that for"? You know damn well what that was for! What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell would you say all that goddamn nonsense if Allen wasn't even dead?!" My voice breaks; I'm gasping heavily through both my nose and mouth as more tears brim in my eyes.

I think it's the first time I actually notice them properly. Tears, that which has never fallen from my face they're hot and sticky like watery paste and they're so cold, they burn.

Bak regards me with a somewhat softened expression as I slump a mess on the floor beside my bed. "Now? Was it really nonsense? Forgive me, perhaps it was a little cruel, but I had to be certain that you were really willing to continue to fight as an Exorcist, my duty as a Branch Chief after all. I had to know that you had not fallen apart."

No, I hadn't fallen apart, but nearly. I sniff loudly, choking on my own tears as I buckle over. My arm can barely bend but I find a way to wrap it around my demolished torso as my upper half falls forward against my knees and I just keep crying. Its like a forest in drought and the first rains come, and they fall and they fall and they jut can't stop

Because the relief just feels too goddamn good.

After a moment, I feel Bak drop down beside me and place a hand on my shaking shoulder.
"Won, get in here."

More footsteps, heavier than Bak's, fall into step beside him.

I glance up in time for my vision to be filled with the figure of a large Chinese man. He's tall and broad with a square head and square shoulders, the latter of which is framed in a stark white lab coat. The former is framed by sleek white hair which contrast with a pair of dark, almost severe heavily-lidded eyes. He looks almost apelike in his features and stature, but there's a strange kind of security in his presence.

"This is Sammo Han Won," Bak introduces the man to me, "He's the Assistant Branch Chief, but he's also had medical

"Don't talk to me," I snap at him,"And my name isn't Cassandra: it's Cas."

"I think it would be best, Ms. Williams, if you got back into bed." Won's voice is low and gruff.

"N-No, I don't want to." I resist feebly, suddenly feeling like a lead brick is crushing my chest, I'm too jacked up for rest.

"Please, you are still very weak."

It appears my agitation is in mind only as Won lifts me back onto the bed and quickly reattaches the IV that had come undone during my fit.

He then proceeds to fuss over me. First by winding the oxygen mask back over my face, instantly making breathing ten times easier. He then adjusts the metal splints on my arms and the braces around my chest and checks all the bandages encircling large portions of my body like a half-wrapped mummy.

"Better get something for that head wound too," Bak remarks, noting the oozing cut on my forehead. "She can't afford to lose even a single drop of that stuff in her condition."

It's in the mention of Blood that I then notice that a key feature that had always marked all of my hospital visits are buckets of Blood stacked around my bedside but there is nary a brimming pail in sight.

"You're not producing Blood anymore," Bak answers my unspoken question. "Due to your lack of heart, you are surviving on the Blood that remains in your body, fueled only by the flecks of Innocence that have concentrated themselves within your system. That's what's keeping you alive; although, I suppose "alive" is a bit of a stretch."

As he speaks, Won hands me a small silver dish brimming with water which he dips a wash cloth into and then proceeds to go about cleaning my head with it.

Bak's words send a shiver through me and as Won retracts his hand and my eyes fall on my reflection in the water bowl do I see why.

Staring back at me through the oxygen mask is a warped and distorted face I hardly recognize. My slender face is gaunt, almost yellowish and waxy in texture. There are dark circles under my eyes which peek out behind heavy bandages that circle around my eyes and mouth. The latter stare back at me out of the ripples with a cloudy gaze that has fogged up my once piercing golden gaze. Around my mouth are more gauze and swabs, my lips are chapped and paler than milk. The once crimson hair, as read as my Blood, that had framed my face is now the color of raw chicken. Everything has been taken from me, ripped away and left me practically a husk.

My arm is missing, my arm is being held together by a metal splints, my chest is being held together by a metal brace. I can't walk; I can barely breathe or see. Everything seems to move too slow or too fast.

Wrong…this is all so wrong. That face in the bowl…

It's the face of a corpse.

As I allow all this to sink in, I respond to it in the only way I know how. I glance up at Bak and Won.
"I look like shit."

The two of them regard me in bemusement for a mere moment before Bak responds with a slight grim smile.
"Well, hopefully not for long."

I blink at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I did say that you were going to put the time you've been given to good use, Cassan-Cas," Bak explains, crossing his arms while Won continues to fuss over me, putting a bandage over my wounded brow and then proceeding to conduct a basic examination (my body temperature is apparently in the 70s). "As I said before, your Innocence was not fully destroyed. When it was shattered, some pieces lingered within your body. There is a possibility that they could potentially be returned to their original state."

I can't help but gape slightly. "Can that be done?"

"Yes, there is a possibility that it can be done, but mind you," Bak strides over to me, "It has never been achieved or even attempted before, and I can almost guarantee that it will be very difficult." He smiles slightly as he presses his finger against the soft swab bandage laid across my forehad. "Well, do you think you're up to the task?"

A way to revive my Innocence. I suppose it would be inhuman not ot hesitate. Being an Accommodator to a shard of the legendary God Crystal wasn't exactly all sunshine and rainbows, it entailed being an Exorcist, hunting and destroying Akuma, demonic creations of the Millennium Earl, and even worse, the Noah Family.

However, I know that there is no other path laid out for me, especially not now. Like it or not, my Innocence is a part of my body, and I must continue to fight with it, so that I could fight for a cause I believed in, and for the people I'd grown to love over these last months.

A shiver passes through me, but it dissipates in almost an instant, and I slowly return Bak's smile.
"Do you even have to ask?"

This is all terribly hard for me to process, but I suppose when I brush aside all the refuse concerns of my situation, I am left with but one desire and I voice it now:

"I want to see Allen."

Bak smiles softly. "In due time, he's sleeping right now, and it would not do well to wake him."

"But I"

"You shall see him before the day is out, Cas; I promise you," Bak quickly insists before I protest further, "But only after you get some more rest. Your body is incredibly run down, and all this exertion didn't necessarily help your situation."

I raise an unconvinced eyebrow. "Exertion?"

"A keen example of the delicacy of your circumstances."

"The Branch Chief is right," Won pipes up, "Rest is encouraged."

"Ordered, more like."

"But you can't just leave me like this!" I exclaim, struggling slightly as Won throws back the covers and proceeds to push me down against the pillows. "I have so many questions. How is Allen alive? How exactly am I alive? What is this about Innocence fragments? How do you plan to

"Enough," Bak presses a finger to my lips, shutting me up. "I'll answer all your questions once you wake up, and then you can see Allen. I promise."

I scowl. "I'll hold you to that, Beret-boy."

Bak chuckles as he and Won turn towards the door.

"If you need anything, just page me," the latter calls over his shoulder before the two men exit my hospital room, closing the door behind them.

I slowly roll over onto my back once they've gone, staring up at the ceiling and its peculiarly shaped crack. My thoughts are racing at the rate of a steam engine, while my body seems to move at the pace of a rock, as in: not at all.

Despite everything, however, I feel rather weightless.

A smile slowly spreads across my face, soft and pleasant like the petals of an blooming rose.

My eyes flutter close as exhaustion claims me, dragging down into the vast depths of unconsciousness almost instantaneously.

Despite this, my last thought sends me soaring.

Allen is alive.

---

The first sense to return is hearing.

Ba bump. Ba bump.

A beat…a heart beat.

My heart beat.

Air suddenly floods my lungs and it jerks me awake. My eyes snap open with a gasp as I stare blankly up at the ceiling of a strange gray room. I'm nestled in a mass of white: the stark ivory sheets of a hospital bed.

They're soft beneath my body, which aches from head to toe.

There's water rushing in my ear from a falls outside and a heart beating in my chest. There's skin around my soul, rubbing up against the bed's warm folds.

Alive.

I'm still…alive.

I slowly sit up: my blood seems to be pounding in my ears, relentless. Everything is spinning so it takes me a moment to make sense of my surroundings.

I appear to be in a standard hospital room made of gray stone. I'm in a bed with an IV racked beside it, the wire attached to my arm.

There's a strange little person in purple with stark orange hair snoozing at the end of the bed with her face pressed against the blankets.

There are bandages everywhere. My chest is bare and there are bandages around it. My arm is bare, and it's wrapped in so many layers of gauze, it looks like a woven mitten. I can feel the touch of them on my cheeks.

What I can't feel

And that is the trigger.

Why?

Why am I still alive?

Because I remember; in that moment, the events of before come rushing back. In images, fragments like a broken stained-glass window.

I remember Lenalee's tears, and the Fallen One's screams. I remember fighting it, desperately trying to save Suman Dark from the monster he'd become.

And the Noah, the Noah called Tyki MIkk, who's devil's touch had pierced my heart.

I should have died; that Noah should have killed me.

I'd felt it, a blackness creeping up within me, a feeling I couldn't get away from, no matter how much I wanted to.

That was death!

And I-

Cas.

Cas and her heart…in pieces on the ground.

Cas breathing her last in front of my eyes while I remained motionless and weak.

My whole body seizes as that single memory consumes me, consumes me with an emotion so deep and dark and cruel it might have even stirred the heart of Satan himself.

Heartbreak, it takes hold of me and throttles me.

I can't breathe. I start shaking. My one hand presses up against my face, feeling the heat of tears behind my eyes.

I don't scream; I don't cry out loudly or sob.

That had been before, in the depths of hell, in the burning darkness.

Now, in the soft light, the grief is silent and cold.

The tears spilling from my eyes are a silent plea. As though I'm begging the world, someone, anyone to come, to grab hold of me before I'm dragged down into the depths of this grief and swallowed completely.

Why? Why am I alive?

When I shouldn't be.

And she isn't.

"Cas..." I breathe, my voice barely a whisper. I feel her name in my lungs, like it's my lifeblood. The only thing keeping me tethered to this world, and yet she's gone and I'm left screaming in the darkness.

I'd loved her from the bottom of my heart, and now she's gone.

"Cas…please….Please, God, no," the tears falls faster, more desperate as my body continues to shake, rattling the IV cord embedded in my one remaining arm.

My head falls against my knees. I can't stop shaking; it's like I'm cold and hot at the same time.

It sinks in, deeper and deeper, and it's never going to stop.

I feel like there's someone beside me, resting just out of the reach of my peripheral gaze.

I feel like I'm not alone in this room, not just occupied by myself and the sleeping figure at the end of my bed.

There is someone else.

Is it Cas? Is it Mana? I don't know.

I suddenly feel stifled, suffocated, clusterphobic even.

My body seems to move on its own as I throw off the covers and practically fall from the bed. I stagger across the floor, my knees knock together as I try move. My pace is slow and awkward, weakened by the dull burn of my injuries, but I don't care about any of it.

I just need to get out of this room.

The halls beyond are deserted, and the halls beyond that and the halls beyond that.

They are drafty and full of shadows, shadows that seem to shift and move in odd places and ways, like they are truly shades from the long past, from the world beyond.

I feel sweaty, haunted and so utterly alone.

Maybe I really am dead after all?

But I know that isn't the case. Would that be so cruel? Or not cruel enough?

But the bandaged hand I press to my chest feels a beating heart, and I suppose that's telling enough.

I don't stop walking, not for pause for thought or direction or mindset. My emotions remain behind me, running to catch up.

I don't want them to, I just want to keep moving, to feel my feet against the hard floor, never ceasing.

Keep walking, as Mana had said.

But where do I go now?

I don't know where I am, where to start or where to end.

There isn't a path to be found in all these halls, least of all for an Exorcist with only one arm.

My Innocence, the Weapon in my left arm had been destroyed, damaged beyond any kind of repair. A peace of my very soul, my backbone, my support in every step of my life. Once the thing that had been scorned and loathed by even me, that shriveled limb had become a godsend, it served to protect those I cared for, to fight for what I believed in. to destroy so I could save.

My eyes prickle as new tears start to fall, tears of mourning bring a bitter, bitter taste.

I throw these thoughts over my shoulder like a superstitious person's salt and press on.

I almost trip on a step, scuffing my bare foot against the stone.

I glance up, blinking as I try to center myself. Without having noticed, I've wandered into a large hall with no windows and a ceiling so high it's cast in shadow.

Ahead of me is a massive door, easily as tall as two churches stalked on top of one another and perhaps as wide as two of them laid side by side. It's carved in a geometric pattern of triangles, circle and squares all of which are painted brilliant shades of blue and purple.

I gaze up at the door. I feel tired just looking at it.

I had promised Mana I'd keep walking, but my feet ache and moving onward is senseless if there is no direction in mind.

And I have none anymore.

My sense of living, both in Weapon and in person have been ripped from me, and I'm left with nothing.

I feel naked and cold before this door, this unforgiving wall of stone.

For some unknown reason, I find myself flashing back to when Cas and I had first arrived at the Black Order European Branch Headquarters last fall. We'd barely known one another two days back then, and quite honestly the woman scared the hell out of me.

But she was strong and dependable, she brought a consistency to everything to she did, her conviction was unapologetic and her loyalty unrivaled. Once she decided on something, she never stopped believing in it, striving for it, protecting it.

She'd protected me ever since the moment I'd first met her, and there were times I'd managed to return the favor.

That promise we'd made in a hospital in Denmark: We'd protect each other.

I'd failed her. I'd failed her then as I'd failed her now, and now I'd never see her again.

That made me want to break into a million pieces.

And yet…

And yet I can't help but imagine that if Cas were here right now, she'd probably smack me on the head and call me an idiot.

I could almost feel her in that moment, a spark of warmth within me like a loose ember in a dying fire.

She'd told me once that what I believed in was necessary for this world, that it was something that needed to be maintained for the sake of everything we stood for. I had to remain unwavering, steadfast, never stop no matter what happened.

The way Cas acted, she was prepared to die at any instant, but only if she left something behind, something that mattered; if only she left her mark on the world.

Perhaps that mark was me.

She had taught me to be braver, to be stronger, more darer, freer than I'd ever been in my life. She'd taught me love in a way I'd never known, she'd taught me a friendship, a loyalty that could never be replicated.

The bond we'd shared would never waver, not even in death. Cas had been destroyed, but she'd saved me.

A destroyer who saves.

I had to keep walking, for Mana's sake and now for Cas. What they have given me, I now must uphold their memory.

I have to keep walking, though my path is more uncertain than it's ever been, I cannot stop for an instant. I must go in the direction where I'm needed the most.

With that thought burning in me, I slowly reach out with my bandaged hand towards the surface of the door.

"The door won't open if you push on it."

The sudden voice makes me jump slightly. My eyes flit to my right to see a figure sitting in shadow just out of the corner of my eye, leaning against an alcove in the wall's perimeter.

How long has he been here? He could have been here this whole time, and I wouldn't have noticed.

"Interested in something here?" the man inquires.

"Not really," I reply, my voice sounds alien, even to me somehow, "I was just walking and ended up here."

"It can't be opened," the man repeats, "How about going back? It's no use trying to go forward. You've reached a dead end."

"But I have to go forward," I press my hand against the door. the injured limb stings slightly and the stone feels very solid beneath the gauze. "I can't stop."

"Even without your left arm?"

I glance at the man, surprised at his statement. He's mostly obscured by shadow but I can just make out a black and white jacket, blonde hair and a beret.

"I'm just curious," He seems defensive at my shocked expression.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"I am the head of the Black Order's Asia Branch: Bak Chang." He pauses, as though waiting for me to respond; when I don't, he continues: "Allen Walker, would you like to be one of our Branch's office workers?"

I blink at him, incredulously. I can't read this man from his darkened distance. What angle is he playing?

"Switch to the support team, is what I mean," he reads my expression as confusion as he uncrosses his arms and leans forward, resting his hands on his knees. "Choose a different path. Even though you're not an Exorcist anymore, there are still things you can do to help the cause. God won't condemn you for it."

His words, they pierce me. No, I can't. Not after what I'd just salvaged, my conviction, that I'd clung to in spite of everything, my purpose. Tears brim in my eyes: hot, angry tears.

The rage flares like a spark erupting to a flame.
"I don't care about that!" I yell as turn and strike the stone door hard with my bandaged fist. It splinters against the pressure. Pain blooms in my palm, but it only
"I swore a vow!" I scream as I continue to pound against the door, "To my friends that I would fight alongside them! To the Akuma that I would save them! To this world that I would protect it! To myself that I-" My voice breaks, the pain nearly overwhelming me as the blood splurts from between the bandages and trickles down the unyielding stone of this horrible, horrible door. "I swore to myself that I would keep walking until the day I die!" I scream as the tears flow down my face. I hit the door one last tiem, the pain is nearly unbearable, the broken bone splintering in my very grasp.

I fall to my knees, still lightly beating against the door. "Open! Open! Damnit, open!"

"Alright, I get it." Vaguely, I hear Bak get to his feet and stride closer to me, "Allen Walker, your Innocence is not dead."

His words hardly register. He might have repeated them, but I'm still processing the first time.

My Innocence…is isn't destroyed.

But how…?

I should probably feel elated, but I just feel confused.

I slowly turn towards him again; the tears are still running down my cheeks.

"Forgive me, but I wanted to make sure of your feelings before I told you," Bak continues. I then notice, rather oddly, that he's sporting a rather impressive bruise on his cheek. I wonder what gave him that.
"I was unsure if, after learning of the Fallen One and tasting death, you would wish to return to the battlefield," the Branch Chief continues. "I'm glad to see I got exactly the result I anticipated." He smirks, "Komui was right about you."

I feel a kind of stunted relief beginning to fester in the pit of my stomach; I'm unsure what to do with it though. Shakily, I start to get to my feet and move towards Bak.

He holds out his hand, "Let's go. You've got the whole branch in an uproar: everyone's been looking for you, and Won needs to change your bandages. Besides, your friend really wants to see you."

His last remark makes me stop cold.
"Friend? What are you talking about?"

Bak grins, "That comrade that arrived here with you. Cassandra-Oh, sorry, she insisted I call her Cas. My bad."

Cas…Wait, Cas is…

That feeling of relief swells within me to a point that it bursts into a sensation of elation so deep and profound I can't even contain myself. Feeling weightless, I fall to my knees as tears spill from my eyes: warm, sweet tears of relief and joy and a happiness so profound perhaps it doesn't even have a name.

I press my bleeding hand to my mouth as I cry louder. Perhaps it isn't the proper response, but I have no other to give.

Cas is alive! She's alive!

I don't know how, but I don't' care. As long as it's so, as long as she's with me.

"Bak, what the hell!"

CLONK!

I glance up, bewildered, in time to see that strange little purple-clad person from before kicking the Branch Chief so hard in the head, he falls over.

"You made him cry!"

"I didn't mean to!" Bak insists as he staggers back, gripping the side of his head.

"And you!" the little figure than rounds on me. She's incredibly short with a slender, almost wiggly body complete with large, curved hands that have no fingers but rather dulled edges like gigantic filed nails. She's dressed in all purple including a crop top, shorts, boots, and a little purple hat. Bright orange hair is poking out of the latter and green paint dots her forehead.

She looks odd, but adorable.

"How dare you behave so rudely towards me!" she thunders. Okay, maybe not so adorable. "You may be an Exorcist, but that gives you no right to be give me the slip, especially after I carried you all the way here from the forest!"

"Oh, it was you," I scramble, trying to regain my bearings, "Then um-thank you for saving me-us, I mean."

The girl looks miffed. "Your girlfriend was heavy."

My cheeks flame. I hold my hand over my mouth to try and cover my blush as the girl keeps glaring at me.
"If you don't mind my asking, what's your name?" I eventually murmur.

"Here name's Fo," Bak explains, still rubbing his head. "She's the Guardian of the Asia Branch."

I blink in surprise, turning back towards the girl called Fo.
"Well, Guardian Fo, I am truly grateful to you for saving both mine and Cas's life."

She sniffs in response before turning to Bak.
"The four-eyed girl's got her all situated in the drawing room, by the way."

"Oh, well then, let's go," Bak announces, straightening his beret as he turns to me, grinning. "Well, Allen, do you want to go see Cas?"

Is that even a question.

All I can do is grin and nod.

"Well, follow me and don't lag behind or you'll get lost again," Fo snaps before sharply turning on her heel and marching out of the hall with Bak trailing behind her.

I follow them through the Branch's many halls towards the drawing room. It takes all of my energy not to run all the way there.

---

I'd fallen into a light, slightly restless sleep when there's a rather timid knock on my door.

I open my eyes and turn my head towards it, which is about all the movement I can muster.
"Come in."

After a moment, the door opens a crack and a round, bespectacled face peeks through.
"Um, Ms. Williams, are you awake?"

"I am now," I reply, slowly sitting up with great effort. "Come in."

There's another pause before the door opens wider and a girl around my age steps into the room. She's small and slight with a pinched, kind of mousy persona. Her face is indeed round and framed with thick, black braids which match her eyes that are magnified by a pair of giant round glasses.

She fidgets awkwardly in the doorway. "Um, I'm here to check on your braces."

I blink. "My what-? Oh, right."

However, the girl doesn't move from her spot.

"Um, you can come here," I finally say.

She lets out a little squeak before scampering over to my bed. She really is like a mouse.

"Could you please lift your shirt up for me, Ms. Williams?" the girls barely whispers.

"Possibly," I reply, grinning sheepishly as I'd found my one remaining arm's movement to be pretty limited.
After a brief struggle, I manage to lift the hospital dress enough to expose what I find to be a rather impressive, albeit clunky, contraption bound around my chest that is made up of layers and metallic sprints

"Right," the girl's confidence suddenly sky rockets as she pushes her large glasses further up her nose and then proceeds to keenly examine the device on my torso. "Now, the structure remains firm, no cracks or friction. Nothing's jabbing or poking you?"

I shake my head, slightly startled. "Um no."

"Good, and how about the arm splint? How's mobility?"

I drop my shirt. "Limited."

"Let me see," the girl then takes my arm and bends it at the elbow.

I grit my teeth.

"Did that hurt?"

"It doesn't exactly feel like a massage."

The girl sighs, "The issue of course is that your body isn't repairing itself. No new tissue is growing and the bones aren't realigning. These splints are the only things keeping your body from breaking apart in its current state, and they honestly aren't the best, but it was all I could do with the time I was given."

My mouth falls open.
"Wait a minute, you made these?"

The girl blinks. "Um, yes."

"Wow, that's really impressive," I commend.

"It's-It's nothing really," the girl asserts, averting her eyes as she bashfully twirls a loose hair strand on her finger. "They were just a prototype. I hadn't finalized anything, but I didn't have the time."

"Well, considering how they're keeping my soupy insides from falling out of my chest cavity, I dare say they're more than satisfactory," I declare, winking at her, "By the way, I don't think I caught your name."

"Oh! Um, Lou Fa, Ms. Williams."

"Enough with the "Ms. Williams". Just call me Cas!"

Lou Fa's eyes seem to grow even wider, "Oh! I can't do that. You're an Exorcist, and I'm just a Junior Science Worker."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

She nods slightly. "Yes, I started an internship here about four months ago. They were understaffed, so I managed to secure a position."

I smile slightly. "Well, I appreciate

Lou Fa actually looks surprised at this. "Really?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, that's the way we do it. Are the Asia Branch Exorcists real sticklers for formalities?"

Lou Fa averts her gaze once more. "To tell you the truth, you're the first Exorcist I've ever met, Ms. Williams."

My mouth falls open. "What?! What are you saying? There must be other Exorcists at this Branch!"

Lou Fa shakes her head. "No. I mean-um-well, there used to be, but they were killed in an attack by the Millennium Earl several months ago. According to our records, it was on a international scale."

I grimace, painful memories making my insides twist.
"Oh, I see."

"Anyways, I've come to take you down to the drawing room for something to eat and drink," Lou Fa continues.

"Thanks but I'd rather just stay here and wait for Bak to come back," I reply, waving her offer aside.

"Oh, but the Branch Chief is currently busy with Mr. Walker at the moment."

I freeze. "Allen? You mean he's awake?!"

Lou Fa nods, rather startled at my sudden exuberance. "Yes, that's why we're going down to the drawing room, to meet with him and the Branch Chief."

"Why didn't you say so. Let's go!" I exclaim, immediately forgetting myself as I hastily throw the covers off and leap from the bed, only to collapse to the floor once my legs refused to support me.

"Your legs aren't strong enough to hold you up right now," Lou Fa explains as she quickly rushes to my side. "You'll need to go down in a wheel chair. I've also got a breathing apparatus for you."

"Oh, great." I try to hide my resignations as I know this stuff is going to keep me alive while on my "borrowed time" as Bak put.

I soon found that with my knocking legs, my lack of one arm, my difficulty breathing and just all around out of commission body, I couldn't do much of anything.

Lou Fa had to help me change into a lavender two piece Chinese blouse and skirt as well as a pair of silk slippers which was more than a little humiliating.

Afterwards, she helps me hook the nubs into my nose which were part of a tube attached to an oxygen tank, which was then locked to the back of a wheelchair.

The young scientist then guided me into the seat, and I was rather furious to find I was gasping heavily as though I'd just run a mile.

This is bad. I need to find a way to fix this quickly.

Lou Fa then proceeds to wheel me out of my room and through the halls of Asia Branch. The place is massive, perhaps larger than the European Branch, but not nearly as populated.

We pass maybe one person on the way to the drawing room and it's another Junior Scientist like Lou Fa. What fills the halls instead of people are strange shadows and cold drafts.

The walls and floors and all made of stone, there aren't many windows to speak of, and there's a constant thundering noise that can be heard at different decibels throughout the branch.
Lou Fa explains to me as we go along that the Asia Branch was carved out of the side of the mountain, which explained it's damp, dark atmosphere and the constant noise was from a waterfall.

"You get used to it after a while," she explains.

Finally, we make it to the drawing room which is a dim but cozy little space with a roaring fire and soft arm chairs layered in green velvet.

Lou Fa helps me into one of these before moving over to a large platter of tea and snacks laid out on a coffee table beside the fire.

"Thanks for doing this by the way," I eventually pipe up as I watch her serve me, feeling awkward and out of place, "I know I act like I'm not grateful; I'm just not used to this sort of thing."

Lou Fa smiles slightly as she hands me a ceramic glass brimming with hot drink. "It's not trouble. It's my job to serve the Exorcists, after all. I'm happy to finally be able to do it."

"All the same, take a drink yourself," I gesture to the platter before us.

"Oh no, I couldn't," Lou Fa starts to protest.

I smirk. "Hey, don't make me order you."

Lou Fa's resignation diminishes somewhat as the corners of her mouth tilt up into the barest of smiles, and she eventually relents: sitting down in the chair across from me, cradling her own glass in her hands.

She doesn't speak for a moment or two and when she does, it's quiet.
"I am happy you're alright, Ms. Williams."

I smile as I sip my tea. "For the last time, it's Cas, and its thanks in no small part to you that I managed to pull through

"I just remember, that night," she shivers somewhat, "Everyone was in such a panic. The boy that came with you, the Branch Chief thought for sure he wasn't going to make it."

I smile rather forcefully at this remark, feeling the ghost of my earlier grief at the notion still lingering in my system.
"Well, that's Allen for you."

Lou Fa regards me curiously. "Are you and him close?'

I grimace; the other girl has unknowingly brought up an uncomfortable subject. Yes, I suppose you could say that Allen and I are close; I do consider him to be my best friend, but he also happens to be in love with me, as he'd confessed to me not too long before everything went to hell. And I return those feelings, although he doesn't fully know this because we can't be together because…

"Yes," I finally blurt. "We are very close."

Lou Fa tilts her head to the side, studying me. It's rather intense with her dark eyes and large glasses and I almost recoil under her gaze. "You love him, don't you?"

The bluntness of her words startles me, and I almost drop my teacup.
"W-Well, I-I…I mean, I uh…H-How did you know?"

Lou Fa's smile is almost mischievous. "Oh, just the look you get in your eyes when you talk about him."

I think I'd be blushing in this moment if I had any Blood to spare.
"It's complicated," I mumble into my drink.

Lou Fa actually giggles at this. It's a rather off-putting, though not entirely unpleasant sound. It just stands to remind me that Lou Fa is a normal teenage girl who enjoys gossiping about boys, not just the prodigy scientist that had had a hand in saving my life.

Normal…Now isn't that a thought.

I'm so lost in them, as a matter of fact, that I don't realize the door behind me has opened until Lou Fa hastily jumps to her feet.
"B-Branch Chief Bak," she exclaims, quickly setting down her glass and straightening her appearance before bowing.

"Hello, Lou Fa. I hope the physical went well," I hear Bak's voice.

"Yes, sir. It did."

"Good."

And then:

"Cas?"

That voice makes me stop cold. A voice that I thought I'd never hear again: it lingers in me, feeling me until everything else has drained away, and I feel so warm I could almost.

I'm on my feet in an instant, not caring that my legs can't support me. I make it around the chair somehow, staggering heavily as I see Bak and Won in the doorway.

And Allen is beside them. Allen looking pale and tired with his hair in his eyes and a body full of bandages. Allen with raw, red eyes from crying and a distinct missing limb like my own.

But Allen Walker alive, alive and with me, and within my reach.

I can't get across the room fast enough. "Allen!" I fall over as soon as I reach him, as soon as my one arm is around his shoulders. I pull him down with me, and we both collapse to the floor together in a tangle of clothing and limbs.

I'm sobbing before we hit the ground, laughing and crying in a boundless, incredible way as I hold him. As I feel Allen's soft skin and trail my fingers through his silky white hair, inhaling his scent.

He wraps his own arm around me, trailing what he can of my hair through the bandages. He buries his face in my shoulder and cries loudly.

"Cas," I feel his warm breath against my neck and the moist tears falling from his eyes. They mimic my own.

"Cas…?" He repeats my name this time with surprise as he rears back, gaping as he looks me head on. I can only smile as I see his face, bandaged but familiar: from grey eyes to a red scar. He's staring at me in shock, in disbelief as tears of pure and utter joy run down my face: clear and sweet like honeysuckle.

Slowly, as a smile spread across his face, he moves his hand and reaches up to gently brush them away with the bulky bandage.

I laugh. I laugh at the absurdity and the pain and the unknown that lays before us.

But I don't care. In that instant, everything else seemed to have fallen away: no one else matter in that room, or the room itself. The rest of the world had collapses to oblivion and it was just Allen and me.

I gripped that boy like I was never going to let him go, and he did the same as I laugh and cried until I couldn't breathe, murmuring incoherent phrases into his ear in both German and English.

I hoped in some vein he understood:

I love you. I love you so much. Let's keep walking together.

---

A/N: Here's chapter one, I hope everyone liked it, especially after the cliffhanger I left with a few weeks back *nervous laugh*. Onwards from here, I'm on vacation for nearly a month, so who knows how many chapters I'll be able to roll out in the meantime. We'll see.
Fun fact: Cas's Chinese influenced outfit in this chapter is inspired by Yu Shu Lien in the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. She's one of my favorite female characters, so I thought I'd pay homage.
Also, if anyone's curious about the cover image, it's a painting by Karol Bak, a Polish artist. He has lots of beautiful pieces, and I use several of his works for covers on this site, including the previous installment of this series. Check him out, he's fantastic.
Be sure to leave reviews, questions, comments, etc. if you're so inclined.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out into a sugar coma.