Hey guys!
Welcome to my 'Black Butler' Christmas story! I wanted to post it on Christmas Day, but it took me longer than expected, so it's getting posted today! It's super long, but I hope you will like it anyway. Since I have read the Manga, a few characters that are from it will be mentioned, but it really isn't that important, so if you've just watched the anime, that should be fine too!
Just a disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot of this fic, although I wish I did!
Please enjoy, fav and review!
Merry Christmas!
HeartElyse
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Unbidden Memories: A Black Butler Christmas Story
A boy was situated alone in his desk chair, fawning over the stack of paper work that was now a scattered mess of parchment splayed across the mahogany desk, his single sapphire eye riveting across the pages with an expression of complete disinterest. Hours had ticked by like this, utterly boring and uneventful, with the pile of documents never seeming to dwindle. The boy realised that the more he read, the more the words began to merge together and sound almost entirely the same.
With a laboured sigh, he dropped his forehead to the desk, allowing his arms to swing limply at his sides. He couldn't help but wonder when this tiresome day would end...
A delicate rapping at the study door caused Ciel to jerk up so violently from his desk that it was as though a wire had been thrust up his spine, the motion making papers go flying into the air and flutter to the floor with a dampened thud.
Clutching at his chest to quiet his foolishly pounding heart, he murmured, "Come in."
Immediately, the door swung open with a flourish to reveal a gleaming silver cart adorned in a selection of buttered cakes and creams, with his butler, Sebastian hovering so resolute in its wake. The butler steered the trolley to the desk and appearing to ignore the documents now decorating the carpet, he began to pour the tea.
"Does Ceylon satisfy you, My Lord?" Sebastian addressed, brandishing the china teacup towards his Master, who took it with a snatch of his hand.
"Yes, its fine," Ciel confirmed waspishly, busying himself by taking a measured swig of his tea.
Sebastian moved on to cutting a perfectly intricate slice of Black Forest Cake, to which Ciel ignored him, instead focusing on the financial report that still loomed before him like a colossal mountain that would not budge, no matter how many times he read the same sentence. Sebastian, noticing that his Master was 'obviously' occupied, placed the cake on a plater by the edge of the desk, as to not disturb the boy. However, even so, there was a topic that they must discuss.
"My Lord, the preparations have been finished for this evening. Is there anything else that you would like to add?"
Ciel froze, his eyes bursting wide, his very limbs seizing, the papers growing taut in his fingers. What preparations? What was happening tonight? Was it a special occasion? He couldn't remember ever being told of such things! His mind raced with the possibilities, but nothing sounded quite correct, like a shoe that didn't fit.
Gulping, Ciel managed a timid, doubtful reply, his eyes still fixated on the documents, yet he was no longer even trying to read them. "Ah...and what preparations would those be?"
The silence that followed was deafening, almost shrieking in Ciel's ears and when he raised his head to see what was taking Sebastian so long to reply to the most insignificant of questions, Ciel was perplexed to find a film of shock glossing over the demon's huge scarlet eyes, his jaw so slack that it could've been hanging by the fine, mossy-green threads of the carpet. However, it wasn't long before the surprise laced into something more insufferable; amusement. Unceremoniously, Sebastian placed two immaculately gloved fingers to his thin, pale lips and began to chuckle, his laugh rumbling from his throat in a soft, refined purr, much to Ciel's chagrin.
"What in the devil is so funny?" Ciel snarled, his teeth gnashing with irritation.
Sebastian's taunting grin only served to grow. "Are you meaning to say, Young Master, that you do not know what today's date is? My my, you never fail to astound me. A human not knowing what the day is? Now that's just unheard of!"
"Bloody demon!" Ciel snapped, twisting his hands into fists, causing the paper that was still in his grasp to crinkle and scrunch distastefully. "There's no need to rub it in my face! Just tell me what the damn date is!"
"It's Christmas Eve, My Lord."
Disbelief washed over him in waves, he nearly drowning in its intensity. The words turned to frost inside him, causing ice to quaver down his spine. It was Christmas Eve? How on Earth had he forgotten such an important day? The thought of forgetting sounded utterly preposterous, impossible, and yet he had.
Immediately, memories came gushing back, flooding his mind with their happiness, with their excitement, with their joy. His vision swam with those contagious smiles. His ears sung with those unquenchable laughs. His nose flared with the scents of chestnut and holly. If he payed close attention, he could almost feel the shadow of heat licking his skin from the fireplace that used to always roar with vivid life...
Those days, those nights, he could remember them so clearly, so much so that he almost felt that he could reach out and touch them. A desperate, childish, yearning part of him that he thought he'd snuffed out a long time ago, wanted to stay with them forever. It wanted to bind him to them, so if anyone dared to try tugging him away, he wouldn't be drawn back into the painful, draining world that was his reality...
"...My Lord? My Lord?!"
Ciel flinched, blinking furiously, his eyes becoming infatuated with Sebastian's face, much to Ciel's relief. Ciel had the creeping feeling that he hadn't forgotten Christmas. No, forgetting Christmas was impossible. He'd just erased it from his mind, shoved it to the very edge of his conscience, so he didn't have to be teased by such hurtful, saddening memories anymore.
Sebastian lingered by his side like a fretful mother hen, the slightest tinge of concern dancing in his russet eyes. Stooping forward, he gently swooped a hand over the boy's forehead, flicking away the lengthy strands of slate hair that tumbled over it in the process.
"Are you well, My Lord?"
Ciel was so stunned by the abrupt action that for several seconds, he didn't move to retaliate, so stiff and still that he could've been mistaken as a board of wood. Yet as the initial shock dwindled away like smoke in a breeze, he harshly slapped the hand away, scowling deeply, but as he spoke, there was no bite in his voice what so ever, the anger within him so fickle that even to himself, it was unnerving.
"I am quite well, thank you. Just a little startled is all."
Sebastian paused for a moment, his hand still remaining poised in the air from where it had been pushed away, his copper orbs forming tiny pinpricks in the whites of his eyes. In a matter of heartbeats however, his features softened and he dipped his head in acknowledgment to his Master's words, his arm sweeping back to his side like a crow smoothly folding its wing.
"Of course, My Lord."
Ciel huffed, his frame appearing to deflate as the breath seeped out of him, leaving him somewhat empty and smaller than before. "So its finally that time of year," he mumbled not particularly to anyone, his only visible eye cast south, half obscured by thick lids, dull and lightless with an emotion that was rare to see ailing them...sorrow...
Righting himself, as though trying to shake away the harrowing feeling from his system, Ciel turned his attention back to Sebastian, allowing the usual authority to soak into his tone once again. "And what exactly were these preparations for?"
"They were for a Christmas Ball dedicated to Lady Elizabeth that will be taking place this evening at the Phantomhive Estate, for Lady Elizabeth was very keen on the idea. You ordered me two weeks ago to begin preparations for the event and start sending invitations to an assortment of possible guests that took your fancy."
Ciel listened earnestly, but for the life of him, he could not recall planning such an engagement, nor even Lizzy nagging him on the idea. He felt utterly clueless on the matter, an unruly sensation that he despised; the very thought of it caused his skin to crawl.
Nodding, feeling an agitating throb building at back of his skull, he responded with a tight sigh. "Very well. Then if the preparations are ready, then I don't see any reason to add anything."
With a slight smirk perking at the corners of his lips, Sebastian crossed an arm over his chest and placed his hand over where his heart should have been, folding himself forward in a light bow. "As you wish, My Lord."
With that, Sebastian retreated from the room as quietly as a cat traipsing through a dark alley, bringing the trolley away with him. Ciel was left to continue his work in silence, sipping his tea at regular intervals, but ignoring his cake for he wasn't sure if he could stomach it at the present time. Yet as he tried fruitlessly to read the words slipping and swaying in front of him, he couldn't rid himself of the bewilderment that shrouded over him like a haze. He felt oddly and unexplainably dizzy, like a fog of some kind was toying with his mind, muddling it somehow.
It just didn't make sense. Why hadn't he remembered?
XXX
The foyer was ablaze with candle light, the flaxen glow of the vast, glittering chandelier showering the large room with such an ambience that the room itself appeared to be shining. The walls were lined with rows and rows of emerald and scarlet tinsel, as was the staircase with the railings covered in spirals of the dazzling foliage. Trees of all shapes and sizes were situated by the edges of the hall, embellished with lavish ornaments and finished off with dewy golden stars on top. The aroma of pine and holly fluttered throughout the space like a mist, enticing and thrilling the guests that had decided to come along and enjoy the festivities of the evening.
The ballroom was filled to the brim with stunningly dressed men and women when Ciel finally was ready to grace them with his presence, treading down the steps in a attire of dense, royal blue, lined with thin pleats adorning the sides, with cuffs streaked with gold and emblazoned with silver buttons tracing along the front of the jacket. To add a festive touch to his slim, knee-high black boots, silver laces had been threaded into neat bows by the lips of the shoes, instead of the usual ebony. To complete the look, a fascinatior was tipped at the side of his head, a rich azure in colour, with a large black feather fluffed over the back.
The moment the guests became aware of his presence, immediately, silence doused the hall, all eyes fixing upon the young Earl as he made his theatrical descent down the tall staircase. The quiet was followed by a choir of soft, appraising murmurs, which hummed throughout the echoing chamber like the rhythmic buzz of bees. Ciel, taking his time in his venture down the stairs, halted on one of the higher steps so that he could see over the entire crowd and addressed them all with a fond, welcoming smile.
"Greetings to all. I am Ciel, Earl Phantomhive, and welcome to the Phantomhive Estate. I thank you all for coming and I hope you all have a splendid evening. I hope to speak to each of you personally throughout the night. To all who I have been fortunate to meet before today, it will be a pleasure to speak to you all again. To all who I have not had the pleasure of meeting before this evening, I am most intrigued to speak with you as well. And finally, I mustn't forget; Merry Christmas to you all!"
The audience gave a cry of cheer in response, applauding with immense vigour as the Earl concluded his speech and made his way down the last few steps to the dance floor. Almost instantly, Lizzy, dressed in her vibrant rouge dress came ploughing through the crowd and lunged into Ciel's unsuspecting arms with an ear-splitting squeal. The impact slammed directly into his chest, causing the breath to gush out of him with a sharp grunt. He stumbled backwards a few steps before managing to right himself, allowing his hands to cup the small of her back, a tense grin stretching across his features.
"Hello, Lizzy," he greeted breathlessly, trying to ignore the golden strands of curly hair that tickled his face, causing his nose to twitch.
Giggling happily, Lizzy leaned backwards in Ciel's arms and slid her hands up to his face, squishing his cheeks in between her palms. "Oh, Ciel! You called me Lizzy!"
Ciel swallowed as an unbidden heat arose in his face, tinging his cheeks crimson. "I'm just...glad to see you."
"Aww! You're too cute, Ciel!" Lizzy shrilled, her features breaking into a delighted smile and her green eyes beaming as she threw herself back into Ciel's arms and twirled him around so fast on his heels that he was pondering whether his head might just go spinning off his shoulders.
"Elizabeth! It is improper of a lady to act in such a way!" The new, grating voice caused Lizzy to spring back from Ciel like a metal coil, much to Ciel's relief, leaving him to teeter and stumble in his rickety boots, trying to quell the swimming feeling that deluded his mind. When his eye refocused on his surroundings, his ease fizzled out at the sight of Aunt Francis looming over both himself and Elizabeth like a brewing storm, her features twisted into the most haughty of expressions, with Lord Edward standing by her side like an angry blonde lion cub trying to roar.
Faced with her unruly mother, Lizzy immediately pounced behind Ciel, her hands hastily winding their way up his arm and clasping so tightly upon it that all the blood within it quickly drained away. "I-I am so sorry, mother!" Lizzy stammered, almost trembling as she cowered at Ciel's side.
With her angular expression only sinking further into a frown, Aunt Francis leaned ever forward, so much so that she was mere inches from brushing Ciel's nose with her own, causing him to recoil a few stuttering steps back, a shudder of discomfort flittering down his shoulder blades. With her taloned fingers, Lady Francis took a bunch of his fringe in her palm and yanked at it rather ruthlessly, causing a yelp to splutter from Ciel's lips.
"And this, Earl Phantomhive, is indecent for a noble of your status," she growled, her eyes stabbing into him like daggers, her eyebrows slashed so brutally along her face that they were almost lying vertically across her forehead.
Wincing, Ciel managed to nip out, "Why, Marchioness Midford, h-how great it is to see you! I don't see Marquis Midford accompanying you. Could he not attend?"
"Alexis had a certain business to attend to," Aunt Francis replied shrewdly, scrutinising Ciel's most gentlemanly of appearances with her hawk-like eyes. After a moment of heavy observing, she finally relaxed her hold, releasing an exasperated huff of air in the process. "Very well, Ciel. As you are the host of this exquisite party, I will allow this act of indecency. But only this once! Do I make myself clear?"
Ciel nodded vigorously, holding up the facade of the innocent flower with the most trained of ease, however on the inside, his eyes were rolling. "Of course, Aunt Francis."
Finding his answer tolerable enough, Lady Francis changed her attention to Sebastian, who had been held poised by Ciel's side like the loyal dog he was, but as the Marchioness' eyes roamed over his unkept tangles of raven hair, he gave an uncertain smile, almost accepting of his undeniable fate as she cuffed him around the ear and began to tug him away. "While I can barely stand your obscenity, Earl Phantomhive, I certainly can't stand the obscenity of a servant. Allow me to right this however."
"Of course," Ciel called back with a smirk, his insides burning with restrained laughter as he envisioned Sebastian being at the mercy of the Marchioness. "Just don't be long. He'll be required to serve the guests shortly."
With Aunt Francis no longer huffing down his neck, he turned back to Lizzy, only to find Edward's most undesirable face shoved into his, exploding red with fury.
"Get your hands off of my sister, Phantomhive!"
Instinctively shredding his arm from Lizzy's grasp, Ciel vaulted backwards, only to tumble into a pair of muscular arms that instantly wound themselves so constrictingly around him that his lungs felt ready to crack beneath the pressure. He squirmed savagely, stomping his heeled feet desperately upon his attackers shins to make it very clear how unsatisfied he was being gripped in such a way. His lips parted, about to yowl out his unhappiness and curse the person for their lawlessness, but as a exuberant voice began to chat away at his ear and the radiant face of a young Indian Prince appeared by his shoulder, his chest flared with annoyance.
"Ciel! It's been so long! You haven't been to the townhouse in months! How inconsiderate of you to leave me hanging like that! I was just about ready to come bursting down here and demand why you hadn't come to see me, but then the invitation came, so I decided that if the party was good, I might be able to forgive you. It's been pretty good so far, but -"
"Prince Soma," Ciel gritted out through a clenched jaw. "While it is great to see you again, would you kindly let me go?"
At the request, Soma's arms loosened, giving Ciel enough leverage to shrug himself free of them. "Of course, little Earl. I sometimes forget how fragile you are, Ciel! That's why..."
Ciel wasn't sure exactly when he stopped listening to the Prince's voice, or if he'd meant to stop listening to it at all. It simply dwindled away, like oxygen to a flame, the ballroom's vibrance slowly eating away the boastful sound until it was completely nonexistent. A melody was dancing through the hoops of its own tune, rising and diving in key and note like the waves of a placid sea, swaying with almost the identical grace and elegance of those spinning about the dance floor. Subconsciously, Ciel registered a numerous account of familiar faces - Lau, with his supposed 'sister', Ren-mou, yapping away with the Wordsmith, Arthur, who appeared somewhat edgy in such a haunting setting, at least on his part. Irene Diaz, dressed as spectacularly as ever and appearing all the more youthful hanging from the arm of her new love interest, Julius Pitt. The Detective, Fred Abbeline, obviously here as a substitute for Lord Randell, who had clearly declined the invitation, but had sent a college instead to snoop around, although it didn't appear Abbeline was doing all the most thorough of jobs, as he was too distracted by the scrumptious buffet to pay much mind to the scene surrounding him. Charles Grey, with his counterpart, Charles Phipps, uninvited guests, but joining the festivities all the same, here under the jurisdiction of the Queen, of course. Grell Sutcliff, swaggering about the hall with the most tardy of feminine airs, another uninvited guest, here for the only reason that his Bassy would be in service. And of course, no one could forget Lady Sullivan prancing about on her spider legs with her butler, Wolfram following hopelessly in her wake - yet even so, with all this familiarity thriving around him, Ciel could not shake himself free of the unsettling feeling that not all was entirely what it appeared.
The room, in Ciel's vision, was twirling, pirouetting like a floundering ballet dancer gradually losing control of her body, losing her sense of conscience, losing her sense of sanity. And amidst this milky and distorted world, full of blurred faces and blinding lights, an illusion came to life before him, but nothing at all was delusional about it, with each detail so refined and definite, like a mirage found in the desert, so believable, yet so unbelievable at the same time. The very recognition of its existence caused Ciel's heart to flatline for several long, gruelling seconds.
He couldn't breathe.
It was a curious feeling, not being able to breathe. It was so fond in his memory, like a childhood friend, or rather an enemy. And yet the feeling was everlasting, unquavering, and no matter how hard he struggled, his mind a scattered mess of rabid panic, his body was numb, unresponsive, unyielding. The weight on his chest wouldn't budge, no matter how much he tried to push it away. He was a statue of stone, a carving of ice, watching in a daze of what appeared to flutter between the realms of horror and shock as those contagious smiles, those unquenchable laughs swallowed the room once more.
In the distance, he could see two small children; one a girl with two spiralling gold pigtails, the other a boy with a mop of glossy slate hair. Both of whom were dashing about the dance floor, weaving through the legs of the other guests, their little feet kicking behind them. They held each other's hand, giggling and smiling as though there wasn't a care in the world. And further away, watching over them with so much love shimmering in their eyes, was a woman of extraordinary beauty, and a man, equally as handsome, both glowing in the other's light, as pristine and kind as they always were.
His mother. His father. Exactly as he remembered them; nothing at all had changed. The young girl was Lizzy, so alike how she was now that it was impossible to tell the difference...
But that little boy... with such a wide, elongated grin and such large, glinting cerulean eyes, so bright with excitement and joy... Ciel should've known exactly who he was... He did know exactly who he was... And yet he didn't see it... He couldn't see how that boy could possibly be who he was... That boy was himself, a younger self, but himself nonetheless... Yet so much had changed that despite the few highlights that they still shared in their appearance, they were not alike at all, and that he was certain of.
No, that innocence, that happiness, had been eradicated a long time ago, murdered by the hands of those who had defiled and soiled him, as well as many other poor, helpless children during that month of torture and humiliation.
He wasn't sure what it was; a pull, a tug, a yearning. But something, buried deep within the depths inside of him was drawing him forward, like a noose around his navel, yanking at him to take the first step, his mind no longer in control, but his body and heart moving in sync, in perfect harmony. He didn't care for anything else; what was around him, where he was, who was calling his name. It was like being trapped in the buoyant field of hypnosis, adrift in a divide that he could not escape, where forward was the only option in a vast sea of broken and locked doors.
A hand falling upon his shoulder caused Ciel to jump almost six-feet into the air, a shock of adrenaline passing through his system as quickly as a bolt of lightning.
"Earl? Earl Phantomhive?! Are you alright?"
"Ciel! You're not listening to me at all, are you?!"
The worried and frustrated faces of Agni and Soma swarmed across Ciel's vision like an angry herd of hornets, causing him to gasp in surprise and stumble back, almost tripping over the tails of his coat. Agni seemed unable to suppress a chuckle at the boy's obvious fright, his eyes squinting with his thin, humoured smile.
"Did you see a ghost?"
Ciel bristled at this, a glower contorting his features in his displeasure. "Don't touch me so easily. Now, if you'll excuse me."
Without another word, he whirled around on his heels and was relieved to still see them, dancing amongst the crowd, the younger Lizzy and himself too naive to bother with what was around them as they wound themselves about the hall, his parents still keeping an eye on them, enjoying themselves as much as they always used to. As he watched them, the world appeared to somewhat fade away, slipping down into the unceasing darkness of his present. Now it was just another quiet Phantomhive Christmas, where the hall, instead of bustling with the traffic of guests and dancers, was utter carnage, with wrapping paper covering the checkered floor like leaves covering a flowerbed, the children prowling through it like kittens playing tag, chasing each other on the shortest of legs, filling the room with the sound of high-pitched cries and childish shrieks. Ciel didn't even attempt to fight it, but allowed himself to be dragged forward with this unbreakable tide of desire, following cautiously behind as his smaller self and Lizzy continued to frolic about the dance floor, sidling passed the partygoers, completely oblivious to their presence.
Time passed. He wasn't sure how long; time didn't appear to be a constant in this place and an inkling in the back of his mind wondered if this was eternity, and if it was, could he stay here forever? For here, there was no pain. They were too real to be fake, too real to be a dream, too real to be just be apart of his imagination. And if it was real, then they weren't dead, they weren't gone... Maybe he was the one who wasn't real...all the things that had happened, all the things that had changed, all th things that had been stolen from him...it all had been in a single blink of an eye, so fast, too fast... Could so much disappear so quickly and still be real, still be believable, still be sane?...
They began to retreat down one of the narrow corridors and at their mercy, Ciel followed, leaving the vivacious ballroom in his wake. Finally free to move as he pleased, he began to run, sprinting along the gloomy, shadow-riddled hallways, his booted feet clunking damply against the carpeted floors beneath him. He staggered deeper and deeper into the manor's insides, trying to catch up to them, trying to reach them. Yet the closer he seemed to get, the further the distance between them seemed to grow. Grinding his teeth together in frustration, he extended a trembling hand to them, hoping madly to somehow grasp them in his palm, as though he might possibly be able to bathe in their comforting light once again.
"Wait!" Ciel howled, tears of desperation making a nuisance of themselves at the corner of his eyes.
As though hearing his pleading cry, they appeared to halt in their unmatchable tread and turned, looking directly back at him, grinning. Ciel instantly became aware of the fact that his mother had begun crying the moment she saw him, still beaming, despite the thick, suffocating tears that chugged down her cheeks. His father remained undaunted in his stance, his expression aglow with pride, but his amber eyes darkened with regret. The little Lizzy simply waved, bouncing on her heels like a baby bird that was eager to fly. His younger self however, wore an expression of utter confusion, as though he didn't recognise his older self either, his eyebrows quirked with suspicion, his head tilted off the side like a clever little puppy. Seemingly intrigued by his lack of knowledge, the younger boy began to retrace his steps back the way he had come until he was standing right in front of Ciel, his blue eyes so round that Ciel could've been engulfed by their vastness.
At first, Ciel hesitated, not wishing to taint the tiny ball of light before him with his supposed 'uncleanliness'. Yet as delicately as he could manage, he slowly lowered his extended hand to the boy's head, reaching to brush his silky locks out of his eyes, only mere inches from making contact...
When a large, gloved, spidery hand came down upon his wrist and bound itself so firmly around it that it caused pain to shoot to the very tips of his fingers. Releasing an unintentional wail of fret, Ciel flinched, his actions so wild and uncontrolled that he went blundering backwards, only seconds from hitting his backside against the carpet if it hadn't been for those fingers still clutching his arm, keeping him from entirely losing his balance all together. Another hand was scooped around his back, and together, they managed to steady him, positioning him back on his feet with the utmost grace that could possibly be mustered. Spluttering for breath, Ciel raised his eyes upwards to witness Sebastian's towering figure slanting over him, his pale skin practically transparent in the darkness, his slitted eyes flashing a lustful fuchsia against the black, a certain knowing simmering within them.
"Are you alright, My Lord?" he murmured, leering snidely.
For several moments, Ciel's body remained frozen solid, his mind attempting to stay afloat in the waves of confusion that was crashing over it, Sebastian's hands still upon him, anchoring him to his reality, the illusion gone, his parents dead, his younger self buried with them and Lizzy still in the ballroom, probably stressing over him instead of dancing to her heart's content. But as his disorientation melded into clarity, he flung into motion, swinging his palm across Sebastian's cheek with as much velocity as he could apply, wrestling himself out of the demon's grasp and retracting so far back from him that his back collided with the opposite wall. Seething with hysterical rage, he shook all over, glaring at the butler with as much venom as he could muster, who appeared to somewhat be taken aback by his Master's unprecedented actions.
"What the hell were you doing?!" Ciel roared, his fists trembling at his sides. "I was so close to -"
"To what exactly?" Sebastian sneered, cutting Ciel off with his biting tone, his features bitter with contempt and disgust. The monster shifted in its movements, and with hardly a heartbeat, Sebastian had advanced forward with the swiftness of an eagle soaring towards its prey, his frame an inky black hole in the darkness, even darker than the darkness itself. Ciel felt himself physically shrink beneath the demon as its presence dawned over him, his body jolting fearfully as its hands smashed against the wall on either side of his head, leaving a resounding thud in its wake, leaving him with no room to escape. It was in these moments that Ciel was reminded of who truly held the power in this contract; Ciel may of been the Master, but Sebastian was the demon after all. If Sebastian so desired, he could easily tear off all of Ciel's pathetic human limbs without battering an eye.
"My Lord, forgive me for my boldness, but I must make it clear that whatever you were supposedly so close to doing was a complete and utter lie," Sebastian growled, his serrated fangs striking out from behind his fine lips. "Even you being this foolish is profound, Young Master. They were only memories. Where did you possibly think you could've gone with them?"
For a long moment, Ciel was completely baffled. He merely gazed up into Sebastian's cat-like eyes, paralysed to the wall, unable to comprehend the demon's words, unable to find anything worthy within them. An intense, unflappable anguish was gnawing at his heart. He had been so close...so close to touching...what? A memory? His past? A dream? An illusion?
And that's when it clicked, and understanding came rushing back, overwhelming him with its monstrosity. They were just memories, dreams, illusions. In face-value, they seemed precious, like gold, but they held no where to go, no place to return to, no refuge to bring peace or comfort. A memory was an ending of a time, an ending of an era, and that era had ended almost four years ago. There was no going back, there was only forward. For once something is truly lost, there is no getting it back again...
Ciel heaved a sigh, dropping his head low, although allowing a slight smirk to furl across his lips. "That is quite enough, Sebastian. I believe that is the second time you've awoken me rather rudely. I will not be so forgiving if there is a third time."
Immediately, Sebastian humbled his presence, composing himself into his familiar humanoid form (now with his ebony fringe smoothed back over his head, thanks to Aunt Francis) and taking a few measured step back to give his Master the space he required, a relief to Ciel's jittering heart. The demon sank down upon one knee, bowing deeply, his arm tucked neatly over his chest.
"I apologise, My Lord. You appeared to be disorientated, so I assumed that a little freshen up would do you some good. I believe Lady Elizabeth is looking for you. She sounded quite eager to dance with you, actually."
Ciel groaned. "Very well, Sebastian. I guess I shouldn't keep her waiting."
"Yes, My Lord."
They began to make their way back to the hall, walking in stride with each other, not speaking a word. Still, Ciel could not help but peek over his shoulder once more. Of course, there was nothing more but the empty corridor gaping at him, but he couldn't quite relieve himself of the feeling that the events of this night would haunt him for many Christmas' to come, maybe more so than the memories themselves...