Out of the Question

SUMMARY: Gaignun reaches an imperative decision thanks to Jr.

GENRE: General/Humor
RATED: PG / K+
NOTABLE CONTENT: Briefly Mild Language/Suggestive Themes
PAIRING(S): (Slight) Gaignun/Godwins

COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Xenosaga
STORY TAKES PLACE IN: Anytime after Xenosaga: Episode II – Jenseits von Gut und Bose

COMMENTS: Ordinarily, I write lengthier stories, but this idea was too fun for me to ignore. So, this is just a quick, hopefully amusing, and (minutely) comical quickie for your daily dosage of U.R.T.V. entertainment. Enjoy!


Out of the Question
Aiselne Nocturnus

Her pretty face sagging, disappointed Mary Godwin pouted, stomping a boot against the polished floor of the Durandal's well-furnished chairman suite. However, her childish tantrum was short-lived when the young woman remembered to act her age. It was mandatory for Mary to handle this matter maturely. Else, she and Shelley would never win their two-against-one dispute. "But…but…why not, Mastah' Gaignun?"

Hating to upset the two women who mattered most to him, Gaignun handled this matter as delicately yet firmly as possible. Even if the two girls outnumbered him, the black-haired chairman more than easily stood his ground. No matter how much he loved Mary and Shelley, he already had his mind made up. Gaignun Kukai was not the type of person to go back on his word.

Wording himself as kindly as possible, the U.R.T.V. tenderly placed his hand on Mary's shoulder. "I'm very sorry, Mary, but I simply cannot."

Mary felt, heard, and acknowledged Gaignun's gentleness. But today, the Godwins could not afford to be sidelined by their lover's silver tongue. Regretfully, the blonde sister shrugged away Gaignun's hand. Ordinarily, she and Shelley obediently did whatever Master Gaignun asked, but today was the one and only exception. Fighting stubbornness with stubbornness, Mary retorted, "But you'd be terrific at it!"

She claimed "terrific," but Gaignun feared "terrible." The raven-haired man was not as susceptible to flattering as were the many admirers he enchanted. And while he was honored to know Mary and Shelley believed in him, Gaignun maintained his resolve. "Thanks, but I think you're giving me too much credit."

"Nonsense, sir," Shelley reassured, always the Godwin sister with the highest maturity level. Realizing Mary's whines made zero progress, it was the violet-haired woman's turn to try to convince their stubborn master. Mary's playful persona often clashed with the girl's attempts at flattering, whereas Shelley's mature beauty could seduce almost any man into putty. Slender fingers stroking Gaignun's jawbone, the eldest Godwin smiled beautifully. "Mary and I have the highest faith in your abilities."

Shelley tended to have a silver tongue of her own. Admittedly, she did succeed in scratching Gaignun's rock-solid composure, but the scratches were not powerful enough to make him crumble. Capturing Shelley's hand in his, Gaignun quickly brought it to his lips, appreciatively kissing her knuckle before breaking the news. "Thank you, Shelley. But even so, I've decided my answer is 'no.'"

Once Shelley's ace-in-the-hole failed, Mary lost the remainder of her patience. Ready to yank out her curls, the blonde groaned in agitation. "Argh! That's whatcha' always say and I'm sick of hearin' it!"

Parting from an equally disappointed Shelley, Gaignun softened his face. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt these women. Surely after years of devotion, Mary and Shelley deserved whatever they wanted in life. Indeed, Gaignun would give the Godwins whatever they asked…except this. He was not being stubborn; he was being practical. So consumed by their own desires, the girls were too blind to notice Gaignun's side of the argument. He refused to lie, either, and sometimes the truth hurt.

For once in his life, Gaignun was unsure what to say, except, "Again, I'm sorry."

"Well 'sorry' ain't gonna' cut it!" blasted Mary, stomping more profoundly that the aftershock bounced her curls. Perhaps if she threw a loud enough tantrum, Gaignun would relent. Such was not the most mature method to get what one wants, but Mary was fresh out of ideas and tolerance. She swore that if Gaignun said "yes," Mary would never ask for anything else for the rest of her life. "You're gettin' ta be as stubborn as ya brothah'!"

Apparently, obstinacy ran through the Yuriev bloodline, though Gaignun believed it was a slight exaggeration to claim he was as pigheaded as Jr. The fiery redhead and his twin tended to take stubbornness to asinine heights. Briefly glancing at the door to the adjacent Durandal's captain suite, Gaignun trailed, "Speaking of whom…"

Of course, Mary easily regained Gaignun's attention. "Oh don't drag the Little Mastah' into this!" She would not let a sidetracked Gaignun get off the hook that easily. "This is between the three of us, right, Shelley?"

"Yes," Shelley nodded politely, composing herself better than Mary, perpetually handling the argument more rationally. "Really, sir, my sister and I have given this a great deal of thought. Not only do the two of us feel ready, but this is something we truly want." To prove their points, the Godwin siblings laced hands together: a sign of the young women's symbiotic readiness. "Both of us are mature enough to accept and handle the responsibilities. We are no longer the little girls you once rescued, Master Gaignun."

Gaignun never believed he treated Mary and Shelley as anything less than adults. The women were incredibly loyal, and even survived hellish pasts when they were younger than Nigredo and Rubedo. Gaignun's respect for the Godwins was unparalleled. "I realize that, Shelley, but…"

Though she tended to act playful, Mary hated being treated as a child. "Then why can't ya be more open-minded bout' this?"

"Mary, I assure you that I've thought this through more than sufficiently," swore Gaignun, raising his palms defensively. If circumstances were different, perhaps Gaignun might say "yes." Sadly, no matter how highly he loved and respected the Godwins, "My answer is still 'no.'"

By then, Mary finished unraveling all of her once-perfect curls, leaving her reddened face framed with wavy gold hair. "Arrrgh! Why do men hafta' be so damn difficult? Ya sure don't act this passive when it comes ta' our nightly routines." Not caring if her words hit below the belt, Mary folded her arms over her chest alongside an ignorant huff. "Hmph! I swear, guys are all tha' same; God forbid they have responsibilities outside the bed!"

Her sexist comment did irk Gaignun. Of all people, Mary and Shelley should know Gaignun Kukai was not that type of man. "You're being ridiculous, Mary."

Deep down, Mary knew he spoke the truth. However, she and her sister upheld their resolves as persistently as Master Gaignun. "Then why else do you always say 'no'?"

The argument started to resemble an endless back-and-forth ping-pong match. Their futile battle of stubbornness drove Gaignun's fingers to nurse his oncoming headache. Mary claimed men were difficult, but Gaignun believed women were impossible!

Sighing, the chairman finally began explaining himself. "Because–"

"Gangway!"

Almost perfectly on cue, a whirlwind of red and white burst through the door to the captain's suite. The Little Master's albino papillon scampered across Gaignun's carpet, with Jr. hot on Alby's heels. Barely noticeable against the dog's fur was a small white Bunnie toy, one of its ears locked in the pup's slobbery jaws. Gaignun assumed the plushie belonged to MOMO, because the corner of his eye caught the pink-haired Realian standing at Jr.'s open doorway. The girl was smart and polite enough to stay put, unlike the red-haired idiot who barged into Gaignun's room pursuing the white-furred menace. It was a classic game of keep-away, and Alby dragged Bunnie anywhere (and everywhere) Jr. could not retrieve the toy. Smirking to himself, Gaignun wondered if Jr. supposed to be playing with Alby, or was Alby playing with Jr.?

Alas, Gaignun was not smiling for long. To elude Jr.'s capture, Alby ran under the master bed, jumped onto a bureau, climbed a bookcase, leapt over Gaignun's bed, briefly hid in the closet, and repeated this cycle three more times. Naturally, wherever the pup ran, Jr. followed, as did a path of ruffled sheets, strewn clothes, flying papers, and fallen breakables.

It was only when Alby attempted to leap over the bed again that Jr. caught the dog mid-jump. The jump's momentum sent the red-haired boy falling ass-backwards off the bed, whacking his thick head on the carpet. MOMO shrieked a concerned, "Jr.! Are you okay?" Gaignun would have been concerned, had Jr. not confirmed his stable consciousness with a loud expletive. Thereafter, Alby managed to escape the hoopla, too-innocently trotting back by MOMO to return Bunnie and escape scolding.

Surveying the damage to his once-immaculate suite, Gaignun waltzed over to his allegedly older brother. Upside-down, Jr.'s legs were still bent over the side of Gaignun's bed, while the boy's throbbing head was being nursed on the floor. Gaignun had a height advantage over Jr. when the brothers stood, but the younger brother's height was much more intimidating from Jr.'s current position. Then the U.R.T.V. brothers looked into each other's upside-down faces: faux-paternal jade eyes drilling into guilty sapphire orbs.

Jr.'s best defense was an impish grin with a snorted giggle. Attempting to use "boys will be boys" excuse as his get-out-of-jail-free card, the bratty redhead waved cutely up at his unimpressed sibling. "Heheh, hi there, little bro."

Not that Jr.'s so-called cuteness worked on Gaignun. But upon hearing two distinct sets of footprints approach, the chairman's attention returned to Mary and Shelley, whom he momentarily forgotten thanks to Jr.'s destructive randomness. What a mess today's fiascos wrought, both literally and metaphorically.

Glancing back at his women, Gaignun sighed exasperatingly, "And yet, neither of you can understand why I don't want to have kids."

The End


A/N: Honestly, I believe Gaignun would make a superb father, but I also think one Gaignun Jr. is more than enough. ^^

Wow, an Aiselne fanfic that's not a zillion words long! Who knew? More over, who enjoyed? ^_~ I hope nobody minded this one-shot, and I hope it brightened somebody's day. Reviews brighten mine, too! Thanks for reading.