Alright, this is my first attempt at a Torchwood fanfiction. It is a Jack/Ianto slash piece, so I warned you, and I had better not get any homophobic comments...just putting it out there. There are spoilers for Children of Earth, Day 4, so you are warned for that too. Includes character death, and is a rather depressing fanfiction..(Jay if you are reading this STAY! I am writing you a 10 chapter happy-go-lucky story about our BAND teacher, so you can damn well read a 700 word drabble.) I wrote this after buying the CoE soundtrack and listening to The Ballad of Ianto Jones. I am very depressed about Ianto, but yet I write things like these...damn bunnies :| I just got into Torchwood and I want more, so I turned to fanfiction... I hope you will like it, but hopefully it doesn't make you cry like I did, I cried several times even editing it. Then again, I am a softie. Please enjoy, and maybe stick around to favorite or even review... :D?
Jack felt tears run down his face. He did not wipe them away nor did he acknowledge their existence. The only thing he could concentrate on was Ianto, cradled in his arms. Wiping his own tears from Ianto's expressionless face, sobs racked through his body. Why Ianto? Why did it have to be Ianto? Why not himself? Why was Ianto even here? He wasn't even supposed to be in the field at all. He could be watching Jack on a camera, seeing him die of toxic fumes, knowing he would return to him. But instead, he was here with Jack, dead.
Jack desperately wished not to come back this time. It's not that he hadn't ever wished for death before, but never like this.
He knew at that moment, that he had fallen madly in love with Ianto Jones. He had always loved him. He loved the way he would always call Jack, Sir, even when they were at home. He loved seeing him every day, even if just for the brief exchange they had when he went on his coffee rounds. He even loved the way he would flinch away from him when he would try to kiss him. He loved the things in Ianto he hated. He had fallen in love, and his love was taken from him.
With this revelation, Jack held his lover closer and rocked his limp body. He could feel his own eyelids growing heavy, and he knew death was soon to come.
Slowly, he leant down to share one final kiss with his love, before falling equally limp next to him.
Jack was in a haze. He knew he was dead. He willed himself to stay in that peaceful numbness eternity, never having to face a day without Ianto.
"Jack?"
Hearing his name, he looked down to see a man in his arms, smiling up at him. He hugged him close to his chest, and his heart ached, knowing this was only a dream, a fantasy.
"What am I going to do without you, Yan?" He managed.
"Jack, I'm just part of one of your many lives to come. Like I have said before, in a thousand years time, you will have forgotten all about me."
Jack was furiously shaking his head the entire time Ianto was speaking to him.
"I will never forget you, nor do I want to even exist in a world without you."
"I'll miss you, Sir," Ianto said with a tear running down his face.
Jack could feel himself coming back into reality.
"No, no, no! Don't leave me, Yan!" He cried, tears rolling off his cheeks.
"I love you, Jack Harkness," Ianto said, completely disappearing.
Jack grasped at the air that was Ianto seconds before, and silently whispered, "I love you too, Ianto Jones."
Suddenly, everything around Jack started moving again. His calm dark place slowly faded into the bright world. He tried gripping onto death, on the haze, but as he took that gasp of air, he immediately wished he had died along with Ianto.
As he sat up, still catching his breath, he saw Gwen at his side. Only she wasn't kneeling over him. He peered over her shuddering figure to see Ianto, underneath a red curtain, cold and lifeless. Tears were reforming in his eyes as he gripped onto Gwen. For support, for comfort, for her, for him? Jack didn't know. They just sat there for hours, as it seemed to Jack, staring at Ianto. Never speaking, only sharing their grief.
It was awful, having to see him like this. Jack knew that image would never escape his thoughts, but that wasn't the most troubling thing. The worst part was Jack seeing him just lie there, but nonetheless imagine him standing straight up and kissing him, yelling at him, punching him, running away, or even blink, but the torture of knowing that he never would.
If you are still here, thank you for reading! The favorite/review buttons are right down here...maybe?
~Emily