A/N: This isn't necessarily a crack fic, but it's pretty far-fetched. It was inspired by a rumor I heard circulating among students and faculty on campus, essentially warning lonely college guys that undercover cops would be posing as prostitutes on social media to try to entrap them on Valentine's Day. (No idea if this is actually a thing that happens or just some bizarre story). Of course, my exhausted brain in the midst of administering the first round of exams for the semester to my students immediately thought "hey, that would be a good SQ fic." I was going to send it as a prompt to the SQ group on Facebook, but then as I started writing the prompt I was like "nope, I want to write this." And it's also my first alternating POV story. So, enjoy this ridiculous yet kind of adorable meet-cute. Happy Belated Valentine's Day! Only a week late :P
Her finger swipes left on yet another potential match and she sighs, tossing her phone onto the empty seat next to her on the sofa… the seat that has been empty for the past three years, ever since her husband was taken from her unexpectedly and tragically. A heart attack on the eve of his thirty-third birthday stole Daniel from her, and it still feels like it was only yesterday. "This is stupid," she mutters out loud. "You're wrong. I'm so not ready for this."
"Regina," Kathryn says as she takes the vacant chair next to the sofa — she knows better than to sit on the couch where Regina and Daniel had spent many nights together during their five years of marriage before fate intervened. "You're ready."
"No, I'm not, Kat," she says, reaching over and grabbing a handful of the popcorn her friend just deposited on the table. "I know everyone says that I should be, but there's no rule about this. I'm not ready to get involved with anyone yet."
"You don't have to get involved with anyone," Kathryn replies as she reaches for the phone to look through the next set of possible candidates on Regina's behalf. "But Regina, sweetie, I say this as your friend: You really need to get laid. It's been three years, and Valentine's Day is next week…I know you say that you're fine, but I can tell that you're lonely. And so are about a thousand guys within a 10-mile radius who I am sure would be happy to keep you company for a night."
She scrunches her face in disgust. "Ew. And no, I'm not going to find some random one night stand on a hookup app... All the guys look smarmy as hell, or they're claiming that they want to find their future wife. Just…no."
"You seriously expect me to believe that there aren't any non-creepy men who are clearly wanting a hookup?"
"Well, no…" she fiddles with her hands in her lap, "but it's too much pressure. You know that Daniel's the only guy I've ever been with…I'm not ready to let go of that. And it's been over three years…I don't even know if I would know what to do anymore."
"Oh, well in that case, get a gigolo."
"What?" Regina nearly spits out her wine. "You can't be serious."
"Why not?"
"Well for one, it's illegal," Regina points out. "And the last thing I need is for that to be on my record," she points out.
"Regina, if you're going to be a politician, everyone will expect you to have some sort of sex scandal on your record. It's basically a prerequisite."
She rolls her eyes as she picks up her wine from the end table. "Kat, no. I'm not going to hire some male escort just so I don't have to be alone on Valentine's Day and so I can have someone else give me an orgasm. That vibrator you bought me for my birthday last year serves its purpose just fine, so can we please just drop it?"
"Fine…but can I say one more thing?"
She cuts her eyes over to her best friend as she selects the movie on Netflix. "Tread lightly."
"If you're opposed to a male escort, why not hire a woman? It's all about you anyway. Who cares who's attached to the tongue."
"Oh my God, Kat," she sighs, throwing a pillow at the blonde in the chair. "Don't be vulgar."
*.*.*
"Any takers?" Graham asks as he sets the cup of coffee down on Emma's desk. It's a quiet night at the precinct, and they're about to start another rousing game of trash can basketball while their other colleague is out on patrol.
"Nope. None yet."
"Maybe we need to take a better photo of you?"
"You photoshopped my lips and chin onto photos of Playmates, Graham. I don't think it gets any better than that."
"Well, maybe that's the problem. Maybe all the guys out there recognize the body from Playmate of the Year 2008."
Emma cringes at the thought. "I hope not. I can't believe I agreed to this."
"You're the only woman here, Em. If we want to break up the prostitution ring, we have to infiltrate it."
"Couldn't you just pose as a John?"
"Please. They would figure out who I am. They vet their clients to make sure they aren't law enforcement, and it's a small town. You're new here. No one knows you yet."
"So going after the lonely men who use their services is a better method?"
"Apparently. At least Albert Spencer thinks so, and you know he's angling for a promotion in the DA's office and he wants this done. So, maybe you should send out another tweet and do some shameless self-promotion. And maybe we should try out some new online ads for your 'services'…"
*.*.*
It's two days before Valentine's Day and the loneliness is hitting Regina harder than she expected it to, worse than it had been the previous two years. She's all but given up on the hookup apps, knowing that she can't do it. She's too out of practice, and more importantly, she doesn't want to.
It's then that Kathryn's words come back into her head, but she can't possibly hire an escort…or can she? "It's not illegal if I don't have sex with them," she reasons out loud to her empty house. "It would just be a date —without sex— and without any expectations because they'd still be getting a free meal." Against her better judgment, she opens her laptop and starts searching, careful of her search terms to make sure she's not skirting too close to the lines of illegality.
After falling down a rabbit hole of potential "dates," she sighs in frustration. They're all either more creepy than the ones in the hookup app, or unattractive, or they're unavailable on Valentine's Day. Just when she's about to give up, an advertisement pops up on her screen just as she's about to exit the browser. Before she can click the "X" to close it out, she accidentally clicks on the ad itself and is taken to a new website. It's basic and non-descript, but the woman on the screen has her attention, at least until another pop-up on the bottom of the screen distracts her. It's a chat box and the start of a message: 'Hi there! I'm Leia. How can I be of service?'
"Leia, really?" Regina says with a roll of her eyes. But it's then that she notices a new photo on the screen of the woman dressed in a golden bikini. Her face isn't shown in any of the photos, aside from some thin, yet seductive, lips, but her body is incredible. In another, she's holding a lightsaber rather suggestively. "Well, she's consistent and thematic. I'll give her that," she says as she continues to scroll, the blinking cursor of the chat box taunting her. "I can't believe I'm doing this…I'm going to kill Kathryn," she says as she clicks on the box and starts to type.
*.*.*
"Oh, I got one!" Emma says as she moves her legs off the desk where they had been resting while she was waiting for her turn in the darts tournament.
"Oh, a potential 'client'?" David asks with a laugh.
"Mhmm."
"Who is it?" Graham asks as he comes around to her desk.
"I don't know yet," Emma comments as she pulls up the website and signs into the chat feature. "Oh…"
"What? Is it Gold? Because if he's threatening you, then that's all we'll need to bring him in," David says excitedly. They've been wanting to bring down Robert Gold's underground prostitution ring for years, but they've never been able to catch him on anything illegal, even though they all know he's behind it. They also know he won't like finding out that someone is working in his territory. Their plan has been to go after the clients, arresting them in hopes that they'll turn in the women involved and that one of them will flip on Gold. But if that fails, they know Gold will eventually try to contact "Leia", either to recruit her or threaten her with encroaching on his territory. Either way, they'll finally be able to get him.
"No, it's not Gold," Emma says, swallowing thickly. "It's a woman."
"Oh," both Graham and David say, taken aback.
"Really?" Graham asks.
"Yeah. She just asked me if I take on female clients."
"Say yes."
"What?" Emma asks. She's not opposed to it, in fact it's much preferable given that she exclusively dates women, but that wasn't the plan. "I don't think any of Gold's girls' client lists have women on them. I doubt she's one of his girls' regulars."
"We don't know that," David points out. "Or, Gold could have someone else working for him…this could be his way of scoping out the competition by sending one of his girls to you."
"Say yes, Emma," Graham says. "Regardless of whether she's a client or employee of his, or completely unaffiliated and just looking for a good time, she's breaking the law."
"Well, not yet," David says. "But she's on her way. We'll at least get an arrest out of it. It's been a slow month. Do it, Emma."
"Fine…" she agrees, typing back into the chat box.
*.*.*
The restaurant is dark when Regina arrives. Even though she's paying an absurd amount of money for this night, as she decided to go for the full "girlfriend experience," she had still taken her time getting ready and wanted to look nice. She's out of practice, so she wants to pretend this is the real thing…maybe it will help get some of her confidence back.
She immediately spots the woman at the bar wearing a tight red mini dress, just as the woman had said she would be, with her long blonde curls cascading down her back. When the blonde turns her head to flag down the bartender and Regina gets a glimpse at her face, her breath catches in her throat. She's stunning. She isn't sure why she's surprised given the woman's line of work, but she's still taken aback.
She swallows her nerves as she walks over to the bar and leans onto it next to the woman. The blonde looks over at her and flashes her a smile, before turning to look toward the door as she checks her watch, as though she's waiting for someone.
Regina clears her throat and asks, "Are you Leia?"
The blonde's eyes go wide. "Oh! You're Regina?"
"I am."
"Oh, wow. I was expecting someone, um…well, not you," she blushes.
"I hope that's a good thing?"
"Very."
"Well, should we grab our table then? The hostess said it's ready."
"Yes, let's."
*.*.*
Shit, Emma thinks as she follows the hostess to the table, Regina walking just a few paces in front of her due to the narrow path between crowded tables. She wasn't supposed to be this attractive. Or this young. I thought she was going to be some 50 year-old rich bitch. Fuck. Why is she hot? Why the hell does she need me? She could have anyone she wants looking like that, without my price tag. Unless…maybe she has a terrible personality? Or maybe she really is a sociopath?
She smiles as she takes her seat across from the brunette at their table in a secluded back corner of the restaurant. Her companion looks visibly nervous, no longer the confident woman she met at the bar just a few minutes earlier, so she takes the reins. "I'm going to venture a guess and say that you haven't done this before…"
"No, I haven't," Regina admits. "I'm not really sure how this is supposed to go…"
That makes two of us, Emma thinks. She's been nervous all day and had been hoping that her client would take the lead so that she could just follow along until her part came into play. "Well, just think of it as a date."
Regina drops her eyes at that suggestion and nervously chews her lip as she focuses on reading the menu, an action that Emma thinks seems out of place for the woman she just met.
"What is it?" Emma asks, genuinely curious.
Her dinner companion sighs. "It's just…I haven't been on a date in a really long time. I don't really know how that works either, to be honest."
"Seriously?" Emma asks, her mouth dropping open in shock before she forces herself to close it. "How is that possible? Have you seen you?" she asks, cringing as she hears how that sounds. "You're beautiful," she tries to recover.
"Thanks," Regina replies shyly, hesitating briefly. "I've just had a lot going on in my life."
"I see…" Emma says, browsing the menu and then ordering a glass of the same wine Regina ordered when the brunette asks her if she'd like anything.
"I'm glad you ordered a drink," Regina says after the waiter disappears to put in their order. "It makes this less awkward and feel more real and less like…well, what it is."
"Why wouldn't I order a drink?" Emma asks.
"Oh, I just figured for safety purposes..."
"Oh, right," Emma says, cursing herself and hoping she hasn't blown her cover. She clearly did not do enough research to prepare for her role. "Well, it's just a glass of wine, not an entire bottle. And I'm quite good at reading people, and so far you haven't given off any vibes that you're going to drug me and take a chainsaw to me when I'm passed out."
Regina laughs at that, and Emma can't help but get lost in the sound. She forces herself to ignore the fluttering in her stomach, changing the subject. "Well, typically on a date, I would ask you to tell me a little bit about yourself, so why don't we start there?"
"Oh, there's not much to tell," Regina says.
"Oh come on, I highly doubt that. Everyone has a story."
*.*.*
Regina is finishing her third glass of wine when she finally tells "Leia," though she knows that isn't the woman's real name, the real reason for their date. She hadn't meant to reveal that much about herself, but she finds the other woman's presence oddly comforting and therapeutic. Archie would tell her that she's looking for deeper connection in another person and that she should try dating for real, but that's exactly why she hasn't gone back to see him since she quit therapy a year ago after he made a similar suggestion. She's not ready to date.
But, this isn't a date. This is easy. No expectations.
It's just a business transaction… and the very real possibility of an orgasm that isn't self-induced.
And "Leia," for her part, seems sincerely interested in her. Regina knows it's what she's being paid to do, but she has to hand it to the other woman — she has the "girlfriend experience" act perfected.
"My husband died a little over three years ago," she confesses as she sets down her wine glass and cuts into the slice of chocolate cake they've decided to share. When the waiter offered them the dessert menu she jumped at the chance, intentionally prolonging the inevitable end of the date and the initial reason she pursued the woman's services. She's getting nervous about that and with every passing moment she's considering bailing, so she's biding her time while she makes a choice. She will still pay the other woman for her time and the agreed upon wage, but she's not sure she can go through with it. But, she wants to. She really, really wants to, because she finds herself unexpectedly attracted to the blonde and it's been so long. And, if she's honest with herself, she's craving that connection. And an orgasm.
"Oh wow," the blonde responds. "I'm so sorry you went through that. That must have been hard."
"Yeah…so, it's been awhile. I haven't been ready to date, and it's lonely at times… especially this time of year, you know?"
"I do," she replies as she, too, uses her fork to cut off a piece of the cake.
Regina can't help but watch as she delicately licks the chocolate frosting off the silverware, and suddenly she thinks that maybe she can go through with the full date. "I don't think I'm ready to actually try dating anyone yet, but for one night I figured it wouldn't hurt to not be alone…does that make me pathetic?"
"No, not at all, Regina," the blonde says, reaching out and placing her hand on top of Regina's. "Not in the least." Her smile is genuine and it affects Regina more than she expected.
*.*.*
Emma grows quiet as the waiter walks off with the check and Regina's credit card, which he returns promptly with his well wishes as he flits off to his next table. "So…." Regina says, breaking Emma from her thoughts. "I guess we should get out of here?"
"Oh, right," Emma says with a frown.
"What is it?" Regina asks her, her face growing serious as they start to walk toward the exit."
"Oh, nothing. I'm fine," Emma smiles, but she's not fine.
"I'm sorry if I harshed your buzz with my depressing line of conversation…"
"No, that's not it at all," Emma is quick to reassure her. "I'm glad you told me."
"Okay," she says before walking out onto the sidewalk through the revolving door, waiting for Emma to follow behind her.
Shit, Emma thinks as she catches up with Regina outside the restaurant, slowly walking north toward her hotel. I can't do this. She's been through hell. I can't set her up.
"Are you sure I didn't freak you out? It's been a really long time since I've been out with anyone, so I'm not really sure what makes for appropriate conversation…somehow I think deceased husbands may not be first-date topics."
Emma looks over at her and sees the doubt in the brunette's eyes, and she can't have her thinking that she's done anything wrong. After getting to know her over dinner, she has nothing but admiration for Regina, and she won't let her think any differently. Regina bravely admitted that she's looking to regain her confidence, so Emma can't destroy that. So, she acts on instinct and goes off-script, grabbing Regina's hand and pulling her to her, letting their lips meet.
"Whoa," Regina says as they separate after a moment.
Emma sheepishly smiles. "Was that okay?"
"That was more than okay," Regina responds, and Emma can't help but chuckle when she sees the blush on the other woman's cheeks.
"Was that your first time ever kissing another woman?" Emma asks with a raised brow. Regina had mentioned over dinner that she and Daniel had been high school sweethearts, though they didn't marry until they both finished graduate school, so she can't help but wonder. She had even asked Regina why she had selected her instead of a male escort, and Regina had explained that a lot of it had to do with comfort. She had shyly confessed that since it had been awhile, she felt like being with another woman would be easier, and that there would be less pressure…that she could relax and enjoy it, and that a woman may be more understanding of her insecurities.
"Aside from a dare after a few drinks in college, yeah…" Regina admits.
"I see….so, what did you think?"
"Then or now?"
"Either," Emma shrugs.
"I don't really remember then…but now…it's definitely okay."
"Just okay?" Emma feigns offense. "You wound me."
Regina genuinely laughs and Emma smiles, happy to have brought the other woman out of her spiral of self-doubt.
But, Emma can't get out of her own head, still warring with herself over what she should do as they make their way back toward their unspoken destination — the hotel room Emma had reserved, as she had done enough research to know that the escort always books the hotel so she can be the one in charge if things go south, and to ensure that the client hasn't stowed anything threatening in the room. It's the same hotel room where she had planted bugs earlier to record the conversation leading up to the planned exchange of money as evidence, where instead of following through with the agreed upon services, Emma is supposed to place her under arrest for soliciting a prostitute. The same hotel room where she knows Graham and David are stationed in the adjoining room, ready to help with the arrest as soon as Regina sets the cash on the table.
But now, Emma can't in good conscious let Regina walk into that room. Yes, the woman has every intention of breaking the law, and she had the unfortunate luck of selecting the wrong escort to break her three-year dry spell after facing a horrendous tragedy. She tries to reason that Regina's story could all be a lie, that she could actually be someone hired by Gold to scope out the supposed competition, or worse…she knows he's ruthless and she wouldn't put it past him to hire someone to eliminate any possible threats to his operation. But, she quickly shakes off those thoughts. Her built-in lie detector has never failed her, and Regina is not a threat to her; she's not a liar, much less a hitwoman. She's just a defeated widow looking to forget about the shitty luck she's been handed for one night, and that is what is going to cost her.
She reaches out and takes Regina's hand, squeezing it gently as Regina smiles up at her. "Thank you," the brunette says. "I'm sure I'm not your typical 'date', but I appreciate everything you've done tonight. It's been nice to have someone new to talk to about all of this, but to also forget about everything for a little while …it's nice to talk to someone who hasn't known me my entire life, who didn't know Daniel and doesn't have an opinion on everything I do or don't do. So, thank you."
Well, fuck.
"You're welcome, Regina," she says at last, pausing as they reach the awning of the hotel. "I've really enjoyed getting to know you, too. And I'm not just saying that." And she isn't. She truly means it, which is why she can already feel the guilt gnawing at her stomach, eating its way through her insides. And when Regina leans in again to kiss her, she kisses her back sincerely, forgetting about the setup, forgetting that Regina just paid several hundred dollars for dinner, and forgetting that Regina is expecting to take the elevator up to the sixth floor, put a thousand dollars in cash on the table, and then receive the services she's purchased.
"Regina," she breathes out when they separate. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asks, biting her lip and staring into Regina's eyes, silently begging the woman to say 'no.'
But Regina just smiles and nods, although there's a hint of confusion written across her face as she says, "yes, I'm sure."
Damn it, Swan, why did you have to be so charming? she scolds herself, wishing that after she recognized her attraction and affection for the other woman that she had done something to turn her off, to let Regina be the one to call it off.
She quickly goes through her options in her mind. She could go through with the plan that her department is expecting of her, ruining Regina's life in the process. But, it's clear that Regina has no ties to Gold, so her arrest will accomplish nothing other than getting an additional arrest for their monthly tally. She could tell Regina the truth, which would at least keep Regina out of trouble, though she knows the woman would hate her forever. Please, it's not like you stand a chance anyway, she reminds herself. She could flat out refuse and call off the evening right now, leaving Regina alone and hopefully angry enough to never pursue this type of transaction again, but risk hurting her more than she already has been hurt. No, I won't do that to her, she decides. She could also try to destroy the planted bugs and then go through with what Regina is asking her to do…she won't actually keep the money of course, because that would be illegal, but Regina clearly wants her and she wants Regina…on a scale of 1 to 10, how unethical would this be? Emma asks herself.
She makes her decision. "Well, let's head in then," Emma smiles as she pulls open the door, gesturing for Regina to walk into the grand lobby.
*.*.*
Regina sits nervously at the hotel bar just off the lobby, confused by Leia's instructions to wait a few minutes for her and to have a drink in the meantime. It seems odd, but then again it's not like Regina has done this before and has any frame of reference for what is a typical escort experience. Maybe all escorts insist that they want to prepare the room first? she thinks. But, that seems like something she would have done before meeting her for dinner, so she's not sure what to make of it.
She's starting to think that she's been stood up, that Leia decided she couldn't deal with Regina's baggage. Maybe Leia asked her to wait at the bar so she could sneak out, hoping that Regina will get the hint and leave.
"Sorry that took so long," she hears the woman's voice behind her.
"I was starting to think that you were ghosting me," Regina says with a smirk as she swivels around on her stool, tossing back what's left of her whiskey sour, a last hit of liquid courage.
"I wouldn't do that to you," she says sincerely. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah," Regina says with a steadying breath, hopping off the stool.
"Great. Come with me, then," the blonde smiles, taking Regina's hand.
She follows Leia out into the lobby, confused as the woman quickly walks toward the exit. "What? Where are we going?" Regina asks as she is pulled back out onto the sidewalk.
"Over there," she replies, pointing to a diner with what looks to be a small bed and breakfast attached to it as she hurries down the street.
"What? Why? I thought your room was at the hotel?"
"It is, but we're taking a little detour," the blonde answers as she bypasses the diner's entrance and unlocks a side door to the building.
"Leia…."
"Please don't call me that," the blonde says seriously, pulling Regina with her past the building's threshold into the small hallway. "Not anymore. My real name is Emma."
"Emma?" Regina asks, questions swirling in her brown eyes. Before she can ask, Emma spins her around and kisses her, pressing her against the wall. Regina kisses her back, running her tongue across the pale pink lips, but then her senses return and she pushes the woman off her. "What the hell is going on?" she asks, suddenly panicking when she realizes how secluded they are.
"Shh," Emma says, "there are guests here and Ruby will kill me if we disturb them. Come with me and I'll explain."
"Explain? Leia…I mean Emma, or whatever the hell your name is, I'm not following you into some random room. You're out of your mind," she says harshly, but obliging Emma's wish to lower her voice.
"You were more than willing to follow me into a room 10 minutes ago," Emma points out.
"Well, that's off the table. I hope you enjoyed your free dinner, because that's all you're getting. Goodnight," Regina says, turning around to leave back through the side door.
"Regina, wait," Emma says.
Something in the desperate plea of her voice causes Regina to turn around, but she keeps her hand on the doorknob.
"I really can explain. I have a room here because my friend owns the place and my apartment is currently being renovated, so I can't stay there for the time being. We can go into the diner if you're more comfortable with that, but I figured given the nature of what we need to discuss, privacy is key. And I'm also trying to avoid a few certain people, which is why I brought you in this way."
Regina looks at her skeptically. "What people?"
"Some coworkers of mine."
"What? Is your pimp after you?"
"Jesus, no," Emma says. "I don't have a pimp. Look, I promise I'll explain. We can go into the diner…it's just down that hall, but you have to promise not to completely make a scene when I tell you what I need to tell you…or you can come with me to my room, I'll sit in the far back corner and you can stand by the door so you can leave at any moment without interference," she says, putting her hands up in a friendly, non-threatening gesture. "Please, Regina. I promise you're not in any danger. Not anymore."
*.*.*
Emma isn't sure why she's so desperate for Regina to hear her out. She could have just let the woman walk out the door. No harm, no foul.
"Not anymore?" Regina asks incredulously. "Was I in danger before? What the fuck is going on?"
"Poor choice of words on my part," Emma concedes. "Not danger, per se. Look, I promise I'll explain everything." Emma takes a chance and turns around, walking a few doors down. She takes out her keys and turns the lock, hoping that Regina hasn't made a run for it while her back was turned.
She breathes a sigh of relief when the brunette is still there gaping at her when she turns back around. "Are you coming in?" Emma asks as she gestures to the now-open door.
Regina looks skittish, but she drops her hand from the doorknob she's been gripping, her knuckles white from the pressure. "I have pepper spray, you know," Regina says as she walks through the door into the room, looking around and leaning against the wet bar just to the left of the entrance.
"I'm glad to hear that," Emma deadpans. "That's smart. You don't know me from Adam. I could be anyone."
"You're making me feel so much more reassured," Regina states, her eyes watching carefully as Emma closes the door behind her.
Emma keeps her word and moves to the opposite side of the room from Regina, taking a seat on her half-made bed and quickly kicking off the 4-inch spiked heels she's been wearing all night. "Sorry, I'm not used to these," Emma murmurs as she does so, internally sighing as her feet are freed from the stiletto's confines. "I'm sure you have questions…"
"You think?" Regina says, her arms crossed over under her chest.
Emma tries, and fails, to ignore how the action makes the brunette's cleavage even more prominent.
"So, are you going to explain?" Regina asks when Emma hasn't said anything for the past 30 seconds.
"Right," she says at last. She reaches into her purse and pulls out the small badge, tossing it toward the end of the bed so it catches Regina's attention.
*.*.*
"What the hell is this?" Regina asks as she leans in closer, making out the gold pointed metal star against the black leather.
"I'm Deputy Sheriff Emma Swan," the blonde says at last.
Regina laughs. "No you're not. What the fuck is this? Seriously."
"I am serious, Regina," Emma sighs.
Fuck, Regina thinks when she sees that the woman isn't laughing. Instead the woman stands up and walks over to the small wardrobe next to the bed, opening it and pulling out some of her uniform blues.
"Shit. You're a cop."
"Yeah," Emma agrees. "I was supposed to arrest you for solicitation tonight."
Regina freezes at that, looks around the room in panic.
Before she has the chance to run out the door, Emma continues. "Keyword being 'supposed to'. Clearly, I'm not going to."
"Why not?" Regina asks, hesitantly. She knows she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, and yet she can't help but ask.
"Because, while I could be totally wrong, I get the sense that you're not some undercover spy for the prostitution ring we were targeting, nor a threat to society. You just picked the wrong escort's ad to respond to."
"I don't…I don't understand," she says. Her mind is swimming in a thousand different directions.
"The details aren't important, and truthfully I shouldn't be telling you any of this. I mean, for all I know you really could be working for our enemy. But, I somehow don't think that you're that good of an actress, so I'm guessing everything you said tonight is true, and if it is, I couldn't let you take the fall for that."
"So you're not arresting me…" Regina states, just for clarification.
"No…and that's why we couldn't stay at that hotel. Before we met for dinner I had bugged the room so I could record our conversations to use against you in court. As soon as you gave me the money, my partners who were stationed in the next room were going to come in and arrest you."
"Shit."
"Yeah…" Emma nods. "So I couldn't explain all this to you there, not after I told them you bailed."
"Wait, you what?"
"That's why I had you wait at the bar. It probably would've been safer to send you to the diner, but I was afraid you'd leave all together, and I wanted to tell you the truth. While I was upstairs I told them you had decided not to go through with it, and that you weren't a mole for our true target nor were you a sketchy legit client, so I told them they could leave. And then as we were walking down the street, I spotted them leaving the hotel and heading back to their unmarked car, which is why I hastily pushed you through the side door here. I didn't want them to see us and risk getting us both in trouble."
"Oh," Regina says. It makes sense. Mostly. Except for one thing. "But why not follow through with your plan, then? Technically, I would have been breaking the law. I was going to go through with it…" she points out before silently cursing herself. Jesus, Regina. Don't confess to a cop your intentions to commit a crime.
"I realize that's probably the case. But I could also tell you were hesitant and clearly this isn't your usual behavior. If everything you said tonight is true—"
"It is," she interrupts. "I would never lie about that."
"I know," Emma confirms. "You've gone through hell. You don't need to be an unfortunate casualty of a sting operation."
*.*.*
Emma watches as Regina chews on her lip as she considers all this information. "Why did you kiss me?"
"What?" Emma is surprised by the question.
"In the hallway just now," Regina clarifies. "You knew the sting was off. So why did you…"
"Oh," Emma says. "Honestly? I'm attracted to you, and you didn't know the transaction was off yet, and I was afraid that after I told you all this that you would hate me. I also wanted you to agree to talk to me. I'm so sorry. It was highly inappropriate and I shouldn't have done it."
"Was everything an act, then?" Regina asks.
"No," Emma admits. "I mean, a lot of the details I gave you weren't true because I couldn't tell you I was a cop, but I really did enjoy having dinner with you. That wasn't part of an act, and that's also why I wanted to tell you the truth. I could have just refused to go through with it and sent you on your way, but I like you and thought you deserved to know. I didn't want to make you think that I rejected you. And I also wanted to make sure that you never do something this stupid again."
"I see," Regina says, starting to pace.
"I'm serious, Regina. Even though I'm not going to arrest you, this shit is dangerous. Even if you ignore the illegality of it, this world is dangerous. You could've gotten yourself involved with the wrong people. Not all the escorts in the area are part of what we're trying to bring down, but a lot of them are, and the people who run it are super shady and often blackmail their clients. You could have been pulled into it, or even worse. It's not worth it just for a good lay."
"I know. I knew it was a stupid idea, and it's not at all like me to do something like this…"
"I could tell…and I really am sorry you got dragged into this. When my colleagues and I agreed that I would go out with you, we really did think that you might be involved in the bigger operation."
"I'm not."
"I know…at least, I think I do. If I'm wrong, then I'm the biggest idiot and probably just signed my own death warrant if you report it back to your boss."
"My boss is our Congressional representative," Regina says, stopping her pacing to take a seat in the chair by the breakfast table. "I work in politics."
"I know. I googled you and ran a background check."
"That feels invasive."
"It should. But even so, there are plenty of crooked politicians. I couldn't be sure that you weren't also involved in something else."
"Touché."
"So, yeah, I'm really hoping I'm not wrong."
"You're not wrong, Emma," Regina says, using Emma's real name for the first time since they've entered the room.
"Good. And I really am sorry. I know this isn't how you expected this night to go."
"It's definitely not."
"And to be honest, I'm surprised you're still here, or at least I'm shocked you're not screaming at me."
"I'm not much of a screamer," Regina says. "I'm much more into silent rage and vengeance."
"Good to know."
"And I probably will be later. I'm still processing."
"Understandable. It's a lot."
"Fuck," Regina says at last. "This is so messed up."
"It is."
"And I'm not going to lie. I am super frustrated because I had finally convinced myself to go through with it. I had been second-guessing myself all night and really had thought about just giving you the money for your time and not actually doing it, but then I talked myself into it."
"Sorry…"
"Stop apologizing. It's my own stupid fault for listening to my friend's bad advice in the first place. This was a terrible idea."
"Yes, it was," Emma agrees.
"Well, thanks for not arresting me," Regina says as she straightens her spine, looking toward the door and standing up from where she had been sitting. "Though I suppose this isn't the worst end to a non-date that I could imagine….it could always be worse."
Emma chuckles at that, rising from the bed to walk Regina out. "Do you really think you would have gone through with it? Truly?"
"Are you asking as a cop?" Regina bites back, a playful edge in her tone.
"No. I'm just curious."
"You're hot, and you're a good kisser, so yeah, probably. It's been three years, Emma…you'd be hard to resist, and if I'm totally honest…I was curious," Regina admits, blushing.
"Well, in that case…" Emma says, slowly approaching her and growing more bold with each step. "I know it's not what you planned, but if you want to stay for a bit, we could see what happens…it's not a crime as long as you don't pay me."
Emma watches as Regina's eyes flick down toward her lips. "Fuck it," she says, dropping her small purse to the ground and crashing into the blonde, pressing her against the wall. "You promise this isn't a setup?" she asks as she pulls back.
"Let's just say you'll only end up in handcuffs if you explicitly ask me to use them."
Regina smirks as she leans back in, grabbing Emma's hand and pulling her toward the bed. "Well, let's see where the night takes us."
The End :P
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this, as completely random as it was. Thanks for reading! I have a few other things in the works that will hopefully be up soon J