Soften Woes of Beauty
Sun is bright today. Full of warm promises and tans. With the wind crisping around their ankles and hair, it's really beautiful.
It was Rachel's kindergarten graduation, and Lisa wanted us to throw a bit of a party for her to celebrate. She's six now. She's tall for her age, and she got dark curly hair, and she's always smiling. Right now she is playing in the paddling pool with Chase and Cameron's three year old.
When Thirteen quit, I had to hire someone to replace her. I chose Cameron. She knew the ropes, knew what I was like, so I didn't have to train her or go through dull process of having to watch her slowly get used to me. Eventually her and Chase worked over their issues over Dibala and got remarried. I look over at them-Cameron runs her hand over her swollen belly. They're going to have another.
The grass in our backyard is green and damp with dew, and the sun is a vivid blue, like Lisa's eyes. Birds fly by and park on the edge of the roof of our house and chirp merrily. I smile at them, and they fly away.
Music trills from inside the house-a small radio is propped in the window, soft waves of rolling jazz fill the air, and the birds return, chirping to it as the flit back and forth, and it's almost harmonious.
We've invited Chase and Cameron, obviously. Why else would they be here? Foreman was here a few minutes ago but he's on call and had to leave. We invited Wilson, but he won't show, not that either of us were expecting it. Ever since Lisa and I got together and he ended up with Sam, we've found our own paths. He cheated on Sam, of course, and right now he's single but it won't be long until he finds someone else. In any case, we speak to each other occasionally and go out for drinks ever two months or so, but that's life, I suppose. I have Lisa now to make up for lost time-that isn't to say I don't occasionally reminisce, but when you're in a relationship, that's how it goes. And honestly, I couldn't be happier. I'd never truly been happy before Lisa, I guess. He has his own group of friends and I have mine now, so all is well. We don't need each other, like we used to cling, back when we were alone and miserable. I'll have to give him a call sometime-ask him to go see a movie.
Lisa comes out of the house in a sundress and walks up to me. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, wispy tendrils curling to her face, and she walks by and kisses me quickly. "Are the hamburgers done?" she asks.
I flip one. "Only if you like salmonella."
She chuckles and sits on the lawn chair and watches as Rachel and Chase's son splash about in the pool together.
The meat sizzles and I flip another. The scent of it fills the air. Jazz trills. Birds chirp and the sun blazes.
It seems so long ago that things in my life were so horrible. Sitting alone, playing a guitar, staring blankly as twangs spliced the air in some sort of mismatched melody, and thumbing Vicodin in my pocket. Playing away at some piano, trying not to wake my best friend, trying to fill some empty space that is gone now; filled.
The hamburger is finished cook and I slap it on a plate. Chase makes a hamburger for himself and Cameron, and I make one for myself and sit on the lawn chair beside Lisa. She scoffs at me, shakes her head although she is softly smiling, and leaves to make her own.
Rachel bounds over to me and sits in my lap. She sits wrongly on my thigh for a second but I rearrange her and then eat my sandwich. She smells of water and the jazz switches over to something with a livelier tune. The birds fly away and Lisa sits beside us.
A crackling, echoing boom breaks the sky.
Rain trickles and Rachel squeals along with Cameron and Lisa. They run into the house and I stay outside while Chase ambles inward. It drops heavily. Hits my skin.
"Greg! Come in here or you'll catch your death!" Lisa calls from inside the house.
"Yes, Mommy!" I call back and roll my eyes, but walk in, rubbing my thigh through my heavy, soaked jeans.
Inside, Lisa has poured Chase and herself a glass of red wine, and Cameron, who is not a moron, drinks water. The red wine is bitter in a good way against my tongue, and when lightning blasts the house with light and thunder follows, Chase and Cameron decide they should get along home before the weather gets too bad.
They take their kid and Rachel falls asleep on the rug in front of the television, and Lisa wraps her arms around me and kisses the side of my mouth.
I can't remember the last time I ever felt content with how things were.
I smile when I realize this is my life now, and things are going fine.
Just fine.