This is kind of a random oneshot. Tell me if it seems too over the place or if you like it. I'd really like to know, as I haven't really decided on my feelings concerning it. Title from It's Time by Imagine Dragons, I might end up changing it though.

"I...can't. I'm sorry."

It's very palpable, the cracking of Rachel's heart. Quinn has to hear it, she has to see it throughout the chocolate irises that fill with tears at the four simple words. Quinn has to feel it.

Quinn doesn't hear it and she doesn't see it and she doesn't feel it because she's walking away and leaving Rachel like this.

Like this is Rachel being too shocked to stand so she kind of crumples against the lockers, her eyes wide and watery and her heart beating itself to death and clawing out of her chest, like this is Puck coming to ask if she's okay and she doesn't hear him because all she's focusing on is Quinn, walking away from her, (from this), like this is her not eating each day she goes without seeing Quinn and being happy about the hunger because it's a painfully beautiful kind of reminder that she's alive.

Like this, is calling Finn and going to his house and crying on his shoulder and listening when he tells her how great she is and letting him kiss her and crumbling like dust, light and transparent, when she's convinced sleeping with him will save her.

It doesn't. It never will.

It's her first time and its horrible because all she's thinking is .Quinn and how this was meant for Quinn but now it's something that will never be hers.

Rachel wants to be smug at the realization. She's not (she'll never be).

Two weeks of ghosting through life and acting like a shell of her former self and she's approached by the blonde, who has circles under her eyes and unkempt hair and a mouth set in a grim line and whose eyes are fading.

Rachel can't be smug about this either; she's coming apart easier than Quinn.

"You slept with him?" It's a question, but it's not. The whole school knows.

Rachel stares into bloodshot hazel eyes. She drowns in them. The freckles in them are stars and Quinn's eyes are the galaxies, or black holes, and Rachel is small and worthless.

"Yeah I did." And Quinn's leaving.

don'tleaveme don'tleaveme don'tleaveme you promised.

The cuts don't help.

The drinking doesn't help.

Nothing helps. Especially not Finn, but he begs her to give him a chance and he's innocent and boyish and sweet and not at all what she wants but maybe what she should want.

He doesn't fucking help.

She's cornered in the bathroom by Quinn. Their conversations are rare and fleeting but she'll take them any way she can get them.

"I know, okay?"

There's so many things Quinn could know.

"I'm not stupid, you know? I notice that you always wear long sleeves, that-that you flinch when someone grabs your arm. I...I wanted us to work, Rachel. I still want us to work."

Yeah they were working, until Quinn's stupid popularity fucked everything up.

"If I lose my status you know I won't be able to protect the both of us. I just...I need some time."

Time can be infinite. It makes Rachel feel panicky, because how much time is Quinn willing to waste?

don't leave me please. you promised.

"Can I...can we...try-"

Nodding. Agreeing. Pleading.

yes, please, you promised, don't leave, try again, please.

But days later the cuts are deeper and Finn's too tall and it's still wrong and it hurts.