The Arusians on Arus had a winter tradition
Of gift-giving and feasting by their own admission
When snow was around and the days short and dark
The Arusians strung lights up and sang in the park
And their voices rang loudly, with a festival trill
Reaching out to the castle, up on the hill
They were singing and singing and after a while
The Paladins noticed, and to it, they smiled
The Paladins all were delighted with knowing
Even here, out on Arus, that candles were glowing
In houses where families all did conspire
To send thanks to each other, eat food and retire
And wait till tomorrow when sleigh bells did ring
And Christmas would come and it'd be quite the thing!
With Hunk in the kitchen, his head in the fridge
And Lance in the common room, arguing with Pidge
Allura was stuck reading mission reports
Coran sat with Shiro, talking Altean sports
And no one had noticed the lack of a member
Quiet, sullen and moody since the start of December
But there was one kid who did nothing but frown
He refused to eat breakfast, or even come down
From his room in the castle, all detached and alone
Keith hated the season; it reminded him of home
He hated the music with his large bat-like ears
And he hated the food and the gifts and the tears
But what Keith hated most with a huff and a shrug
Was that all the Arusians liked to hug and to HUG!
He swore he would go down and end all the singing
And feasting and hugging and selfless gift-giving
He'd get in his lion and stop Christmas this year!
Thought Keith, in his bedroom, grinding his gears
And with that, he changed, all his pounds-per-square-inch
He was no longer Keith. He was only THE KRINCH
He stayed tucked away 'til the hour was late
Then snuck out in the hallway, boiling with hate
Down to the hangar and into his Lion
The Krinch slid with expertise, soon to be flyin'
Away down to 'Ruville with mirthful sedition
To ruin their Christmas and all their traditions
The red lion growled, not with passion but warning
But the Krinch just ignored it, he'd be back by morning
And with that he launched them both into the sky
Out the castle, and over the moon, did he fly
Down to the village where the Arusians all slept
He landed in silence, and onwards he crept
Into the houses with great gleeful ease
Not a single door's locked, and he went where he pleased
With baskets and bags and boxes for stuffing
He'd take all their things, the Krinch was not bluffing
He fast went to work on the houses with joy
Stealing pink things from girls and blue things from boys
That was one thing he hated, how oddly it rendered
That ridiculous thing, where the toys were all gendered
But the Krinch shook his head and continued his mission
And Keith was, at his core, quite a brilliant tactician
He slid up the stairways and slunk through the halls
He took every light and the glass christmas balls
He took the bright stars from the tops of the trees
And the lion-based manger, made out of cookies
And the berries for breakfast and sausage for lunch
And the bread for their dinner, he took the whole bunch!
He grabbed the decor with a tireless rigor
And threw it all in his lion with a great Krinchy vigor
The piles, they grew and the Red lion groaned
This was not right! The Red Lion bemoaned
But the Krinch wouldn't listen and lastly he took
A walk through the village for one final look
He poked his head down every chimney and cranny
Stealing from every last grandpa and granny
And with that he sighed with a quieter tone
He did what he had to, and now it was done
Away through the night the Krinch lifted his bounty
To fly to the cliffside along with his mount, he
Would dump the whole thing off the edge of a cliff
And Christmas would be gone, no buts and no ifs
But when he got there, to the top of the mound
The Krinch saw with surprise, someone waiting around
Another great Lion on the cliffside did wait
And the Krinch landed softly, he'd taken the bait
He couldn't be stopped now, that much was true
Even if that Lion was larger; and blue
And down by the paw was a young human pilot
He looked like he'd been waiting for the Krinch for a while, it
Was only when Red stopped and opened her mouth
That the Krinch wagered that it was safe to come out
He grabbed a few bags, threw them under his arms
Swearing he would not fall for any charms
And he walked down the ramp straight toward the great drop
Not a thing could prevent this, or make him stop
When suddenly he heard a voice and he spun
"Keith, what the fuck, man, what have you done?"
Lance held a small bauble, in his hands, Keith had missed
And he walked towards him, and damn, Lance looked pissed
The Krinch shifted his bags and he stood on the spot
A little embarrassed at how he'd been caught
He looked at the bauble the Blue Paladin had
At the greenish-grey coat in which Lance was clad
The quickly-tied shoes of the slumped-shouldered lad
Upon closer inspection, Lance wasn't mad; he looked sad
"Why would you take from the small and the weak?
If you were upset, you need only speak"
"To any of us, 'cause we're all here for you
That's the promise of Voltron and the loyalty of Blue!"
The Krinch stepped back twice and he started to choke
But he swallowed his pride and he angrily spoke:
"I hate the way everyone gets all together
And pretends that these good times will go on forever"
"They won't and I'll tell you, cause it happened to me
One day you'll be sad and alone and you'll see!"
"How the lights only burn and the songs only ache
And in time you don't know how much more you can take"
"So from now on, in winter, and in spring and the fall
It's just better if no one has Christmas at all!"
"But what about friendship, kissing under mistletoe?"
"It's just not enough Lance, and I think you should go."
"Cry me a river, shall I hand you a tissue?"
"Shut the fuck up, I have abandonment issues!"
"Keith, I can't take much more of your insecure fury
No one cares that you're purple, have claws or are furry!"
"There's not a thing you can do that will make me remiss
For Christmas on Arus or any holiday bliss"
"But what if I offered you family, friendship, or this…"
Keith looked over as Lance said, "my very first kiss"
"Holy shit," said the Krinch, "You have gotta be kidding"
"I'm gonna dump Christmas and not do your bidding"
"Please!"said the Blue Pilot, begging at his feet
And the Krinch stared a while, and his cheeks filled with heat
"Keith, I can help if you'd just drop the pretense
We'll go in your lion and give back those presents"
Said the Krinch towards Lance with a helping of sass
"I don't want your kiss or your virginal ass"
"Wow, Keith," exclaimed Lance, with affront and dismay
"That really came out accidentally gay"
The Krinch was now flustered and put on the spot
And Lance took advantage of how quiet he got
"You talk way too much about being alone
But it's hard to believe, because honestly you've shown"
"How true of a friend and how loyal you can be
Keith you deserve to sing songs round that tree"
"In the park that you vandaled and stole in the night
But I'm not here to chase and I'm not here to fight"
"I'm just here to say, 'cause it seems such a crime
That I remember our moment. We bonded that time."
And the Krinch felt a weight and he dropped all his stuff
And he walked towards Lance and his voice was now rough
"You even remember how I kept you from harm?
We had a bonding moment, I cradled you in my arms!"
"Yes! Said Lance with joy, Yes yes yes yes YES!"
"I'll no longer leave you to wonder and guess!"
"I'll tell you each day how much you mean to me!
The spirit of friendship is strong, and it's free!"
Before Keith could speak, before he did dare
They heard a small noise from down in Ruville square
It started quite small but it quickly was growing
And as the sun rose and the sunlight was glowing
They heard the Arusians in all of their glory
Singing their carols and that's where this story
Can tell how a miracle came underway
The Krinch's heart grew thirteen sizes that day!
Keith turned on his heel and he ran for his ship
"I have to get Christmas back, and get it back quick!"
Lance followed Keith and they flew down to Ruville
(Which is not a copyright violation of Whoville)
They landed the lion in the midst of the square
As close to the singing as they possibly dared
And Keith grabbed as many sacks and boxes and bags
As he could possibly carry, and Lance looked at the tags
And from out of the lion they passed Christmas gifts
And Arusians in Ruville were only slightly miffed
But they promised they'd forgive the transgressions that day
If Keith stayed for supper and together they'd play
And Lance called the paladins down from the hill
And they all ate and drank merrily singing, but still
A little thing stayed with Keith all through the night
A few little words from the midst of their fight
He leaned into Lance and he brushed by his hips
And Lance swept him under and covered his lips
Keith wanted to faint, how did Lance possibly know?
Said Lance, "That's what you get, standing under mistletoe!"
So together they sat and they ate Christmas dinner
Keith was no longer alone, Lance was clearly the winner
And they happily hugged like Arusian tradition
And Keith did enjoy it by his own admonition
And when it was over they flew into the night
And the snow floated down, turning everything white
And the Paladins shouted from their Lions in flight,
"Merry Christmas to all, 'Cause it turned out alright!"