Stuttering: The Mini Series

Disclaimer:
As always, I own only Shae Walker (and, in this chapter, Brittany Linton).

Rating:
It'll likely vary (most likely T-ish).

Genre:
Romance/Drama/Family/Angst/Whatever strikes me in the moment

Pairing:
Auggie/Annie
(Possibly others)

Author's Note:
This fic will consist of little one-shots that I randomly dream up consisting of the characters in my story "Stuttering". The one-shots are completely random and have absolutely nothing to do with the original "Stuttering" fic. They're just little day-dreams that strike me when I'm bored at work or something like that. I'll just get a little scene or two flashing through my head and I'll have to write it out.

This chapter was inspired by the song, "Christmas Wish", by 98 Degrees, which reminds me of my best friend who was murdered back in August of this year (2010). And, this chapter will also be written from Auggie's perspective. I will let you know whose perspective each chapter is written in at the very beginning of each one.

Christmas Wish

Christmas ain't the same without you
It just doesn't feel like it used to
Waiting for the day I'll see you again
I hold my breath and pray to the stars for you, today

It was Christmas Eve and my, hopefully soon to be fiance, Annie Walker had invited me overnight to spend the holiday with...the family? After everything that's happened-both past and present-I'm not entirely sure I know exactly what to call our little unit. What I do know, however, is that I love Annie and our daughter, Shae, more than anything and they mean the world to me.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear the sound of-what I assume to be Shae-strumming on her acoustic guitar. She is extremely talented, with an ability to take anyone willing to listen on a journey through her music. I've always been able to feel the emotions written in her lyrics. And, I'm drawn to the subtle-almost heartbreakingly-sad nature of the melody she's playing. I draw closer to the door to her bedroom to better hear her.

"Christmas ain't the same without you
It just doesn't feel like it used to
Waiting for the day I'll see you again
I hold my breath & pray to the stars for you, today"

The fragile quality in her voice tugged at my heartstrings. She was obviously crying-or, at the very least, trying not to cry-as she sang the lyrics. I could tell they were deeply personal for her. I wasn't entirely sure whether or not I should go in. My relationship with my daughter was still a bit rocky. Though, I understand her anger toward me in the beginning, that didn't make it hurt any less knowing that my own daughter couldn't stand to be within ten feet of me. Her initial anger seemed to have to ebbed away a bit, but, I could tell she still did not fully trust me. So, I'll have to work a little harder to earn it. But, I will earn that trust!

I was so deep in thought that I was actually startled by Annie's gentle nudge of my arm. "You should go talk to her. She could use a father." Well, Annie clearly knew what was going on. Was I really the only one out of the loop?

"Annie, what's wrong? What happened to her?" I asked, trying to get a feel for the situation before I dove head-long into it. I could almost hear Annie shaking her head before she replied.

"No." Was the cryptic response that I got. "I really think she needs to be the one to tell you that." Well, that couldn't be good. I felt Annie's hand gently patting my arm and heard her footsteps walking away from me. I hesitated for another moment, still unsure of my decision. Finally, I made up my mind and felt for the doorknob. As soon as I found it, I heard the music stop and-what sounded like-Shae sniffling and trying to regain her composure.

"Well, don't stop on my account." I greeted her, trying to lighten the mood. I just heard Shae scoot over on her bed, presumably inviting me to sit down. I did so gingerly. When Shae remained silent, I decided to get straight to the point. "Shae, what's wrong? You seem...not yourself."

I could feel Shae all but leap off the bed and I could tell she was angry. When she did speak, I could tell she was right in front of me. "No. No, you don't get to care, now! Ya wanna know why? Oh, I'll tell ya why!" The anger was building, but, I knew better than to interrupt her. "Because you weren't there when it happened! That's why! You weren't there! So, no! You don't get to care and be all supportive, now!" Her tirade was just as cryptic as her mother had been.

"I wasn't there when what happened?" I asked, almost pleading. I wish she would tell me what was going on. So, I haven't exactly been father of the year. But, she's still my daughter, and I wanna help her. But, I can't do that until I know what's going on.

"When the best friend I had in the whole damn world was MURDERED! When THAT happened!" I winced at the intensity of Shae's shouting. So, that was what the song had been about. I finally put the pieces together as Shae collapsed onto the bed next to me and I gathered her into my arms and-much to my complete and utter shock-she didn't try to resist me. Rather, she just buried her face in my chest and cried.

This was a completely new experience for me. Granted, I had only known Shae a very short time. But, I had only ever known her to be a very strong individual. I had never known this vulnerable side of her. I had also never known about the murder of her best friend. But, looking back on our brief history together, it's completely understandable that she wouldn't have said anything about it. I'm not exactly the first person she'd go running to for something like that. Still, I have no idea how to handle the situation. I just wish I could take away her pain. Even though I can't physically see her crying, it still kills me to witness her pain.

After a few minutes, Shae's sobs subside and I feel her pull away from me, sniffling as I assume she's wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry." She mutters. Are you freakin' kidding me? She's apologizing for mourning the loss of a life-long friend? I can't help wondering at the absurdity of it all.

"What the hell do you have to be sorry for?" I ask, almost laughing at her obscenely unnecessary apology. I took her silence as a cue to elaborate. "Shae, it's okay to mourn the loss of your best friend. Now, I may not know exactly how close you were but if you say she was the best friend you had in the world, that says a lot. And, you have every right to mourn that loss." I explained. "Honestly, I'd be more worried if you didn't mourn that."

I was absolutely gobsmacked when I felt Shae wrap her arms around me before speaking. "Thanks, dad." I think I just heard my jaw bouncing off the floor. That's a first! Shae's never called me 'dad'! She always said I hadn't earned that title! But, her voice was so sincere, I was blown away!

"No." I started, my own voice thick, "Thank you, Shae." I think Shae was about to speak, but, Annie had entered the room. Feeling her weight sink the mattress beside me.

"I take it you told him?" I could tell the comment was directed at Shae. Had they been planning this or what? If so, it was a rather elaborate plan. But, somehow, that just wouldn't make any sense.

"Yeah, I told him." Shae replied, voice still shaky. I felt the mattress sink on the other side of me and knew it was Shae sitting beside me. "And, honestly, it was...both easier and harder than I thought it would be. Granted, I said it a little angrier than I think I really should have. But, it was also easier for me to break down in front of him than I would have originally thought."

I smiled as I told Annie "She called me 'dad'." I know I probably sounded rather ridiculous, but, most fathers or dads aren't used to waiting twenty-one years to be called 'dad'. It was the most unbelievably amazing moment of my life. In all my life, I never would have thought that I would even have any semblance of a family of my own, but, now...Now, it seems like things are really looking up for me.

Annie laughed at my comment. I wanted to be offended, but, I was still riding an incredible high. "Why don't you play the whole song for us, Shae, honey?" She asked. I, personally, hoped she would. My daughter was a very talented singer-songwriter. I didn't get many chances to listen to her work, but, I cherished the few chances I did get.

"Sure." Shae replied. Her voice was a little brighter and warmer; yet another side of her I hadn't yet seen. I was used to the cold and bitter Shae Walker that hated her father for betraying her mother (completely understandable, though, it still hurt). I rather enjoyed this lighter, brighter, warmer, Shae Walker.

I heard the sound of an acoustic guitar being strummed before Shae's beautiful voice began to sing. Listening to the lyrics, I could tell that a lot of heart and soul had been poured into them. It was a truly beautiful memorial to her friend. And it only added to the single most wonderful Christmas of my entire life.