Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
A Wish Your Heart Makes
I kept telling myself it was only a dream.
I went and looked up dream on the internet to reaffirm that notion.
1) Dream: A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
Nowhere did it say that a dream meant anything more than your mind playing tricks on you. Nowhere did it say that dreams were a reflection of inner workings or ideas.
But then I kept thinking about that song. That stupid song from Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty- one of those princess movies I'd seen when I was younger.
'A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep.'
That couldn't be true, could it? Why did this dream feel more like a wish than an involuntary sensation occurring in my psyche?
I was used to having dreams, of course. I'd been having them forever.
In the last two years alone, I'd had more dreams than I'd ever had in my entire life. Edward dreams, nightmares about growing old, dreams about my mother, dreams about flying. Some of them were plausible, and yet all of them felt unattainable.
The images, however clear, were always out of arms reach. That didn't take away the fear, or the thrill, or the excitement, but it did make it easier for me to separate the truth from the fiction. I always got to a point in the dream where I knew I was dreaming.
Not this one.
This one felt beyond real. It felt more like reality than reality did. It was as if my mind had betrayed me.
Jacob walking up to me in the woods…
Jacob sliding his hand into mine, staring at me with a longing that was tangible…
Jacob's eyes, dark and warm, calling to me…
Jacob's mouth, turned up into a smile, coming closer…
One kiss, that lasted for what felt like hours…
The realness of his tongue sliding against mine…
The consciousness of his breath hitting my cheek as he pulled away…
The shivers running through my body as he tangled his fingers in my hair and pulled me to the ground…
His touch was so warm, his arms so strong, his body so solid and unyielding.
All of the details started to blend together in my head like a collage of memories that are so close to your heart that they never feel stale or forgotten, no matter how long you go without thinking of them. It was all so vivid and authentic.
The visions played in my mind's eye for a second time and I willed them away unsuccessfully. I willed them away half-heartedly. I couldn't stop myself from reliving this dream.
Jacob's mouth moving down my collarbone…
Jacob's hands traveling up my thighs…
Jacob's voice murmuring softly in my ear…
My own heart beating wildly in my chest…
My own want blazing with an intensity that couldn't be contained…
Then, nothing.
And maybe that was also why I was having such a hard time accepting this dream. It ended so suddenly, with me jolting straight up in the bed, sweating profusely and struggling to breathe.
There was no need for theatrics. It was only a dream, not a nightmare- not a terrifying or life changing experience that would cause my body to go into overdrive and abruptly pull me out of my peaceful sleep. Just a dream.
But why did it feel like it meant more than just your typical, average dream?
As I replayed it in my mind for a third time I remembered something else I read on the internet during my search for peace of mind.
2) Daydream: A dreamlike musing or fantasy while awake, especially of the fulfillment of wishes or hopes.
And this was the purest example of daydreaming- laying here on my bed, thinking about a dream that I never wished for.
I was suddenly completely aware when I closed my eyes and attempted to fall back to sleep.
I realized that I did wish.
As I lay there drifting back into the abyss, I wished that I could return to that dream and finish it proper.