At the Center of Everything
At the Valley of the End, just before the blinding white light consumes them both, Naruto thinks he is falling in love and Sasuke knows he is falling apart.
--
He dreams of Sasuke.
They are random disjointed images of his subconscious, memories of Then and Before, and there are nights where the images are way too real to be memories and these are the dreams that frighten him.
Naruto dreams of their first day at the Academy as Genins and the moment he loses his balance and the exact second their lips meet.
Sometimes, he dreams of Sasuke drowning. He would dive into the water, pull Sasuke out, but his lips are already tinged blue and he's never breathing and Naruto would part his lips and breathe life into him.
One breath, two breaths, three breaths. He will wait, anxiously, and finally, finally, Sasuke would splutter and his dark eyes would open and Naruto would grin in relief and then slap him. "You idiot," he would say.
Sasuke smirks, and Naruto leans in, close and closer and closer, until their lips are touching and Sasuke is no longer smirking.
He always wakes up disorientated and clammy and worried but above all, inexplicably happy.
It doesn't mean anything; he is sure of it.
--
One day, Sai asks Sakura a question.
"What is love?"
Sakura looks at him strangely, and Naruto turns around to steal a glance at Sai. His face is just as impassive as ever, a contrast to Sakura's widening eyes.
"Why would you want to know that?"
He looks at her, his dark eyes open. "I want to know why you would go all this way just to bring Sasuke back."
And Sakura bites her lip while Naruto closes his eyes briefly.
Sasuke.
"Love is…like a bond, except ten times stronger. It is something that has the power to make you laugh and cry at the same time. It is horrible and wonderful and it makes you feel powerless, yet it is beautiful."
Sakura turns to Naruto and catches his eye before continuing. "Love is when you know the other person is worth more than your life."
Sai nods slowly, but says, "I still don't understand."
Sakura shrugs while Naruto inhales deeply.
I do.
--
Naruto still loves Sakura-chan.
He can almost imagine how her lips would taste. He knows he would go to the ends of the world to protect her. Maybe they will be happy together, if she would just give him the chance.
But Naruto already knows what Sasuke's lips feel like, taste like. He is already going to the ends of the world and back for Sasuke. And he knows they were happy, training and exchanging taunts and completing mission together.
He knows he loves Sakura, but if that is love, then what he feels for Sasuke is deeper than love.
It is frightening.
--
Naruto decides to tell Sakura one night, when Sai is asleep in his tent. It's a quiet, balmy night, where the moon is hanging over their heads, clear and bright.
"Sakura," he says, his voice shaking under the fear and confusion no matter how hard he tries to steady it, "I think like Sasuke. A lot."
She holds his gaze, and Naruto's muscles are coiled and tight, ready to jump or flee, just in case she decides to hit him. He stares right back, watching, waiting, and finally—
"I know."
His eyes widen and she thinks they are beautiful because they catch the moonlight just so. Silver and blue and so much ache.
"What – what do you mean you 'know'?"
She leans in, and kisses him.
Naruto sits there, shell-shocked, with Sakura's lips pressed to his. This is what he has always wanted: to kiss her. His mind is reeling in a thousand different directions simultaneously, until she pulls away.
"Now do you know?"
She sits there, quietly, contemplating while Naruto thinks.
He thinks of Sasuke's lips and Sakura's lips, and his hopes and dreams against the reality of things.
Naruto thinks of love.
"Yes," he says finally.
--
Kakashi literally drags Sakura back to Konoha, and sends a team of ANBU to keep her in place. She is literally prisoner in her own bedroom.
She's angry, she's crying, she's all over the place.
Sakura is a mess.
Naruto wakes up in the hospital, dizzy and disorientated. Yamato tells him it was a panic attack, and that he has to remain in the hospital, under surveillance, just in case.
He's angry, he's almost in tears, he's all over the place.
Naruto is a mess.
One day, they both have an afternoon of freedom and Naruto and Sakura go out for lunch. Ramen, no less. They eat in comfortable silence and when they are finished, Sakura leans over the empty bowl and whispers.
"Who do you think was Kakashi's favourite student?"
Naruto doesn't even need to think. "Sasuke," he says quietly.
Sakura pulls away and looks him in the eye, still whispering, "Everyone in Team 7 was, in some way, in love with Sasuke."
Naruto is silent as he absorbs this newfound realisation.
"Now?" he asks.
Sakura turns away. "Now it's just the two of us."
They both know that as Hokage, Kakashi would do anything in his power to protect Konoha.
Naruto looks down at his empty bowl.
--
It's a Sunday, one week after their lunch at Ichiraku. It is afternoon, and Naruto and Sakura are sitting just by the gates of Konoha, as they've done every day for a week.
Naruto catches Sakura pulling something from her bag. It is a candid photo of the three of them in a simple wooden frame. He can't remember when, but they're all smiling – even Sasuke.
Sakura is running her finger over the glass, over their faces and he has to look away because it feels like by just looking, he is invading her thoughts.
"What are we doing, exactly?" she asks suddenly.
He closes his eyes.
"We are waiting."
She doesn't need to ask what for, because they both know.
And Naruto starts to dream.
It has always been about Sasuke, from the time he was chosen to be part of Team 7 until the day he returns to Konoha (because he would. He has to). Everything has been about Sasuke, from Kakashi's attention to Sakura's affection to Naruto's envy.
Naruto dreams of Sasuke and himself, and this time, Sasuke isn't the one drowning. The water is tepid, neither cold enough to make him shiver nor hot enough for him to bring colour to his skin.
The light above the water is dreamy and surreal before his eyes, and his lungs start to burn but there's no one around him. He cannot scream without choking on the water, and his arms and legs are lead. He can do nothing but wait and sink deeper and deeper.
Only once his vision starts to blur and darken does he feel two strong arms grasp him to pull him to the surface. There's a flurry of activity, sounds without sight, before he feels pressure on his lips and hands pressing against his chest.
Finally, the aching pressure ceases and he opens his eyes, not to dark eyes and a smirk, but pink hair and wide green eyes full of worry.
"Sakura," he rasps, struggling to sit up in his wet clothes. She helps him up, and when he is upright, he can see Sasuke standing by the side.
"We were so worried!" she says, the worry and the anger in her voice blended to perfection.
"Sasuke," he coughs, and to his surprise, Sasuke turns around. He can see the sleeves of his shirt are dripping wet, and Naruto smiles in spite of himself. "Heh, you saved me!"
Sasuke holds his gaze. "That's because I pushed you into the water."
Naruto awakens, and he is alone save for Sakura and her picture frame by the walls of Konoha. The sun is setting.
There is still no sign of Sasuke.
END
A/N: I really like Naruto and Sasuke together because there's something about these two that has this lovely, kickass destructive undertone - even more than the other pairings I've written about.