Like Glue and Tape
by: l00ny_l0veg00d
Alice Longbottom walked into the Great Hall on Wednesday morning to see Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy arguing at the top of their lungs at the Ravenclaw table.
"Clearly, glue is better than tape!" Rose argued, banging her fork on her plate.
"Tape doesn't make a big, sticky, gooey mess!" retorted Scorpius.
"Tape comes off much too easily! Glue is more reliable!"
"And messier!"
Alice sat down at the Gryffindor table calmly and started loading her plate, anticipating a long argument.
"Tape only has one side!" Rose shouted. "Glue is much better that way!"
"It's called double sided tape, Rose! And glue is messier!"
"Is that the only point you can make?" Rose yelled, sending her fork flying halfwaay across the Hall.
"No! Glue is harder to use!" Scorpius responded, dodging Rose's fork.
"For imbeciles like you, maybe!"
"I am not an imbecile!"
Alice noticed that a space was beginning to clear around them. Within seconds, there was no one in a ten foot radius of the bickering pair.
"I've beaten you on every single test since first year!" Rose was almost screaming now. She stood up, as if she thought intimidating Scorpius would help her win the argument. Unfortunately for her, Scorpius also stood, and he was nearly three inches taller than her.
"That's because you're an insane genius!" Scorpius defended.
Rose took a step forward. "And you're stupid!"
"I am not stupid!"
Albus Potter chose that moment to enter the Great Hall. He skirted the circle forming around the combatants to come sit next to Alice.
"What is it this time?" he asked with a sigh.
"Originally it was glue versus tape, but now it's about Scorpius's stupidity." Alice answered amiably, taking a second helping of pancakes.
"What do you bet they'll break up again?" Al wondered aloud, filling his bowl with cereal.
Meanwhile, Rose and Scorpius's argument became steadily more heated.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"A Galleon that they'll be 'over' in five minutes," Alice said suddenly.
"Done." Al shook hands with her and resumed eating.
Within seconds, Rose shrieked, "You know what! This is over! Goodbye, Malfoy! Have a nice life!" Once she had finished her tirade, Rose stormed out of the Hall altogether.
"Love you too, Rosie!" Scorpius called after her, dripping with sarcasm. He promptly followed her out.
"Fork it over." Alice said to Al with an evil grin.
Al sighed, rummaged in his pockets, pulled out a Galleon, and dropped it in Alice's outstretched hand.
"How long do you think it'll take them to get together again?" Alice asked, standing up. "C'mon, we've got Charms now."
Al polished off his cereal and rose too. "Oh, they'll be going out again by tomorrow, probably."
Alice smiled mischeviously again. "By the end of the day. Two Galleons."
They exchanged a look.
"Done," they said simultaneously, and shook hands.
Alice was practically skipping all the way to Charms. Al was slightly more subdued, but still in a good mood. They were laughing at one of Alice's stupid "Muggle jokes" (Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Gesundheit!) when they reached the Charms classroom. Rose and Scorpius were already there, standing in a corner near the door, holding hands, and talking quietly.
"Ha! Pay up, Potter!" Alice said triumphantly.
"For the love of Merlin..." muttered Al. He extracted two more Galleons from his pockets and handed them to Alice.
"You bet on us?" Rose exclaimed, outraged. Scorpius dissolved into laughter. "This isn't funny!" she snapped at him.
"Yes it is," Scorpius said once he had recovered.
"No, it's not!
"Is too."
"Not!"
"Is!"
"Not!"
"Is!"
"Not!"
"I am sick of this! We are done, Scorpius, done. See you never!" Rose stormed into the classroom, looking as if she were about to burst into flames.
Scorpius walked in behind her, still laughing.
Al and Alice looked at each other.
"By tonight." Al said.
"End of class." replied Alice.
They shook hands.