Time and Time Again
More and more often, Quinn found herself thanking God for Brittany. After Finn had found out about the baby's true parentage and promptly asked her to leave his house, Brittany had been right there. She helped load her things into the car and then drove them both to her house without saying a word, and she'd been staying with her family ever since. Every time she had a bad day, Brittany would hold her while she cried, never asking for anything in return. Afterwards, she'd just smile at Quinn until she smiled back, because even she knew that no one could resist the infectiousness of a Brittany smile.
Much to her surprise, Quinn found herself being more and more open with Brittany, telling her things she'd never even said aloud to herself. The whole environment was so relaxed. They would spend their nights watching movies together or doing homework together, and no matter what they did, they always ended up deep in conversation. It was clear that most people deeply underestimated Brittany, because while she was terrible at school, she was certainly excellent when it came to people. She picked up on things that no one else seemed to notice, not even her. It was nice to be able to ask her opinion, especially with the increased tensions within Glee Club. Brittany always had an answer, and Quinn was at a position in her life where she just needed answers from someone.
It was how Quinn ended up lying on her back on Brittany's bed, one hand resting protectively over her growing stomach and the other clasped in Brittany's. The Cheerio was painting her nails a brilliant navy blue, a soft smile gracing her features. They'd been silent for a long time, both girls seemingly lost in their thoughts. The mother-to-be figured hers were a little more troubling, however, judging from the contented look on Brittany's face. She found herself feeling the exact opposite of content, like she was always teetering on the edge of tears. It was something they'd discussed before, how it was perfectly normal for someone in her situation to be upset and nervous, even without the interference of the hormones. Still, this didn't explain why it got so much worse every time she was in the presence of Rachel Berry.
It was ridiculous. Every time she saw the singer, she was assaulted by nausea and an overwhelming sense of nervousness that wouldn't let her sit still. Every time they spoke, her cheeks would flush and she would have to divert her gaze away to prevent total humiliation. There was absolutely no reason for her to feel intimidated by a five-foot-two girl who she figured probably had more self esteem problems than Quinn did. She couldn't help but feel paranoid around her, like she was going to do something stupid and embarrass herself, and she couldn't tell if it was because she looked up to Rachel or felt intimidated by her. Both options were not exactly ideal. Neither was her recent inability to tear her eyes away from Rachel's lips while she sang, or her thighs when she wore shorter skirts than usual-
Quinn cut off her thoughts with a deep sigh, shutting her eyes tight and forcing images of Rachel Berry in a state of undress that just made her uncomfortable out of her mind. Brittany looked up from Quinn's hand, her smile fading a little, but her happiness remaining. She didn't have to verbally ask any questions for Quinn to know what she was wondering.
"Britt, how did you know that you liked Santana?" Quinn's voice was soft, but not quiet. Brittany smiled a little wider, closing up the nail polish and setting it on the bedside table.
"Well, I dunno exactly…" She paused, trying to think of the words to describe it. It was a tactic she used often, and Quinn had just gotten used to it. It was why people seemed to think Brittany was impossibly dumb, because she didn't always know how to verbalize her thoughts. "I guess I kinda knew when I started getting nervous around her. Like, I would always get the butterfly feeling, right? And every time she'd touch me, I'd get all breathless and blush. And I realized I stared at her a lot, especially in the locker room after practice…" Quinn swallowed, hard, biting down slightly on her lower lip. She was glad that Brittany was too busy trying to properly answer her question to notice. "Then one day, it just like, became something else. Like I always needed to be by her because she was, like, one of the only people who could make me really happy. And then she was beautiful, even the parts of her that I know aren't. I guess that's how I knew."
Tears began to well in Quinn's eyes, and she tried her hardest to fight them back, but her pregnancy basically reduced her ability to maintain her façade to nothing. Brittany placed a hand on her upper arm, rubbing it slightly, trying to calm her tears.
"What's wrong, Quinn?"
"I'm pretty sure I like Rachel Berry." It wasn't as hard to say out loud as she would have thought, but she did find her roommate's sudden burst of giggles mildly disconcerting. This was a very serious matter! Especially because she was pretty sure that she was feeling everything Brittany just described for the worst possible person she could feel it towards. It was ironic, that she was almost certain she was falling for the same person she'd tormented for years. Not to mention the fact that she was another girl, and she was pretty sure that she was straight. Brittany kept laughing for a few moments, before she spoke.
"Oh, I know that, silly!" Quinn just gaped at the girl as she grinned.
"What?! How did you know?"
"You stare at her, like, all the time during Glee practice. And you get all nervous and stuff when you guys talk. It's so cute!" Quinn bit down on the inside of her cheek for a second. Okay, so Brittany knew, but she was really perceptive.
"Do you think anyone else knows?"
"No. I told Santana that you were being cute and she didn't know what I was talking about. So no, I don't think. Unless Rachel knows."
"Oh god, I hope she doesn't know."
"She's really observant during Glee. Especially of you. I'm pretty sure she knows."
"Oh, god. This is exactly what I didn't need right now."
"What?"
"I'm already the teenage, pregnant, ex-cheerio who cheated on her really nice boyfriend for his sleaze of a best friend. I really don't need lesbian tagged on to that." It was true. Things were hard enough for her already, and this had to stay off the radar if she ever wanted to return to some semblance of normalcy after her pregnancy. Especially if she wanted to ever have a chance of being allowed back in to her parent's house, which she did, a fact that she'd only admitted to Brittany once and in a very quiet tone.
"Well, do you like other girls?" Brittany questioned, her big, blue eyes fixated on Quinn in a way that made her feel more cared about than nervous.
"I've never really thought about it. I don't think so, though…" It was true. She couldn't remember ever having looked at any other girls before Rachel, and she definitely had never fixated on any in the same way.
"So you're probably not a lesbian, so don't worry about that! I mean, maybe you just like Rachel, you know? Just cause she's a girl doesn't mean you suddenly like just girls."
"Is that how you feel about you and Santana?"
"No. I definitely looked at other girls before Santana." She giggled. "I just never loved any girls before Santana. I don't think you're like me though. I'm pretty sure you just like Rachel cause she's Rachel. And there's nothing wrong with that, cause she's actually pretty nice and not as self centered as she acts in Glee. And, you know, she's hot. But don't tell Santana I said that." Quinn laughed for a moment, giving Brittany a smile.
"So it's not the end of the world that I'm in love with the girl I've effectively called a drag queen for the past few years?" Brittany shook her head. For a second, Quinn felt like the tears were going to come back, just because she thought of all the horrible things she'd done to Rachel. It was in the past, and Rachel seemed to have forgiven her because she was treating her like a normal human being. That said a lot, considering Brittany and Santana were pretty much the only two people who gave her the courtesy.
"I'm pretty sure you can make it up to her if you, you know, kiss her or something." Quinn looked at her with wide eyes, eliciting a small giggle. "Sometimes in Glee she looks at you like she just wants to pin you against a wall and kiss you, so I don't think she'd mind all that much. Or you could, you know, just ask her out or something. Or tell her you like her. I think she'd be happy with any of that."
Quinn couldn't help but smile at Brittany, before the cheerio moved from her sitting position to lie down next to her on the bed. This was definitely one of those times that she was sure to thank God for Brittany and her amazing ability to not only read people, but to make them feel completely and utterly comfortable no matter the situation. She paused for a minute, enjoying the pleasant silence, before speaking.
"Thank you so much, Brittany. I really don't know what I would do without you." Quinn meant every word, and Brittany's beaming smile was worth making herself vulnerable.
"That's what friends are for, right?" Quinn just smiled in return, mentally noting to tell Santana the next time she saw her that she was one lucky girl.