Title: Depression
Summary: Harry is depressed after Sirius dies and is feeling heartbroken and alone. After running into Severus one night, the Potions Master offers to let Harry stay with him over the summer. As Harry slowly realizes that he still has a life that he loves, Severus gets more and more curious about the Boy Who Lived. And they both might even find love.
Rated: M
Genre(s): Romance, Angst, Drama, Friendship
Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy/Severus Snape, Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger
Warning(s): Angst, depression, cutting, violence, underage relationship and intense kissing scenes, sexual themes and implications
It was almost the end of Harry's fifth year of school. Summer was almost here, and it was gradually getting hotter and more humid outside. Students studied for their finals on the grass down by the lake, including Harry's friends.
But Harry didn't notice all of this.
He had just lost his godfather, and it had taken a toll on him. Not just his mental health, but his physical health. Harry barely ate, and only got 4 hours of sleep each night - max. And that was without nightmares.
"You can't go on like this, Harry," Remus said to him one afternoon. He had stopped by Harry's dormitory for tea, and the two sat in the Gryffindor common room alone. "Sirius would want you to keep living."
"I know," Harry said, tears filling his eyes. "I just...I just miss him so much. Every day. He's all I can think about. I feel like...I can't go on without him." Harry paused to wipe away his tears. "You know I never told him that I loved him? Not once."
"Oh Harry," Remus said sadly. "He knew. He always knew. It was obvious to everyone. And you have no idea how happy you made him. He loved you so much, Harry. I hope you realize that."
"I do. Which is why I feel so bad that I never told him." Harry felt hot, salty tears steaming down his cheeks. "It hurts. It almost physically hurts, Remus."
"I know, Harry, I know." Remus pulled him into a hug and Harry sank into his arms, letting Remus comfort him.
Severus sat in his office, grading his last class's final exams. He drank yet another cup of coffee, realizing that he'd lost count of how many he had.
Sighing, Severus got up and threw open the door of his classroom. His eyes hurt. Wandering down the hall, he planned to go back to his rooms and take a long hot bath.
That was when he heard the sound of crying. Well, sobbing was a more accurate term. Loud, hiccuping, gasping sobs. The sound tore through Severus's heart, startling him, and he went towards the sound, hoping to locate the source of it.
He suddenly found himself staring at Harry Potter, red eyed and tearstained and currently wiping his nose on his sleeve. It was several moments before he noticed Severus, but when he did, his face reddened even more. "Professor Snape?"
"Mr. Potter, what are you doing out of your dormitory so late?" he asked.
"Remus stopped by for a visit, and I was just seeing him out," Potter explained. "He, er, wanted to talk about Sirius."
Severus suddenly remembered that Potter had just lost his godfather, Black. "I am sorry about your godfather," he said.
The boy's eyes widened in surprise. "Professor Snape, is that you?"
Severus felt the corners of his mouth tugging upward. "I am capable of feeling emotion, though I may not always show it." He looked more closely at Potter, who had awful dark circles under his eyes. "Potter, how much sleep are you getting?"
"Um, not very much," said Potter. "Like 3-4 hours a night."
Severus could barely stop himself from wincing. "See me after class tomorrow and I will brew you a Dreamless Sleep potion," he said.
"Thank you sir," said Potter, and turned to leave.
"Potter?" Severus called as the boy started down the hall. Harry turned back. "Let me escort you to your dorm." Potter didn't look well, and Severus felt a pang when he thought about him wandering the corridors alone at night.
Potter looked confused, but he didn't object as Severus walked with him to Gryffindor Tower. "So what are you doing out so late, Professor?"
"I was going to my rooms," Severus said. "I was just grading papers."
"Oh," said Potter. "Did you grade mine?"
Severus smirked. "Good luck trying to get information out of me. You'll get your score when everyone else does."
Potter laughed, and Severus stared at him in surprise. "All right, Professor." They walked in silence from then on. Severus wondered what Potter was feeling, and wondered if it was any similar to what he himself had felt when he lost Lily. It was then that he realized just how much he didn't know Potter, and he suddenly felt a rush of curiosity.
"Well...thank you for walking me to my dorm, Professor," Potter said.
Severus blinked and realized they had arrived at Gryffindor Tower. "It was nothing," Severus said. His gaze met Harry's, and Severus felt a strange stirring inside him. "Try to get some sleep tonight, Potter. I will have your potion ready in the morning."
Potter nodded. "Thank you, Professor. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Severus said, watching the boy disappear into his dorm before heading to his own rooms.
"I just don't know what to do," Severus said to Albus the next morning. He'd stayed up late brewing the Dreamless Sleep potion for Potter, and then had fallen into bed, so exhausted that he'd fallen asleep before his head hit the pillow. "I feel so helpless. Albus, you should have seen the boy! He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep in the past month."
"He hasn't," said Albus, the twinkle in his eyes gone for once. "Harry has had a hard life, and he has lost many people. His aunt and uncle have not been kind to him, and he dreads going back to them. If you feel helpless, Severus, you could always offer to let him stay with you."
Severus was curious at the mention of an aunt and uncle. They weren't kind to Potter? Did that mean he hadn't been the spoiled brat Severus thought he was?
"He wouldn't want to stay with me," Severus said. "He hates me too."
"But you showed him kindness last night," Albus pointed out. "You made him laugh, Severus. I can't tell you the last time he laughed."
Severus sighed. "All right. I'll talk to him after class today. But what if he doesn't want to?"
Albus smiled. "Then be his friend. Be nice to him. Severus, I know you're scared to let down those walls of yours, but Harry is a wonderful person and he will accept you for who you are. You need to let more people in, and he needs as many friends as he can get right now."
Severus sighed. "All right. I'll try."
AN: Hope you all liked the chapter! Let me know if I should continue. Please review :)