Chapter 1

Santana was pissed off to say the least. She should be there...she should be at Brittany's side for when she woke up. That's a 'When' and not an 'If' like the doctors had said. It was still too early to know if and when Brittany would ever come round from the coma she had been in for 8 days now and Santana could not be anywhere but with her partner when that happened.

But no Quinn had decided that Santana needed to go home to shower and sleep and wouldn't take no for an answer. Quinn had actually talked the doctors into making her go home by saying that Brittany was being sent to have her chest tube replaced. Santana had no option and she sure as fuck wasn't happy about it. Reluctantly she let Quinn drive her home.

Quinn escorted her into the house and ordered that she go shower and then set about making something to eat. Santana stood there staring at her...it didn't feel right having someone other than Brittany cooking in their kitchen. Quinn stopped what she was doing and went to her BFF...taking her hands she led her to the bathroom.

"you need to take care of yourself... you will be no good to Brittany if you end up in hospital ...go shower and when you are finished we will eat and you will go and get some sleep. I promise you that I will be here ready to drag your sorry ass back to the hospital in a heartbeat if needed"

"fine" Santana mumbled as she closed the door. She turned the shower on and looked at herself in the mirror. God she looked a fright. Her only injuries were cuts, bruises and some gravel rash. It was Brittany who bore the brunt of the explosion. Santana burst into tears as she climbed into the shower. The water was too hot but she didn't care. She needed to numb the pain in her heart.

She was in there for god knows how long when there was a pounding on the door she grimaced, the water had gone cold and she was shivering.

'You ok San?'

'Yea...i just lost track of time'

'Id say...you've been in there for close on an hour...lunch is ready'

Drying herself off Santana spied Brittany's spiderman one'sy hanging on the back of the back of the door and put it on. She wanted to feel Brittany and this was the closest she could get right now.

Walking out to the lounge she heard Quinn giggle softly 'Well I never' she uttered in between giggles.

'It's Brit's'

'It looks adorable on you...slightly too long in the legs but still adorable...now sit down and tuck into these pizzas I made...yes from scratch...so don't say I never do anything for you'

Quinn scored a slight smile at that...Quinns pizza's really were the best and she doesn't make them often.

Santana raised an eyebrow at the toppings and looked at Quinn. Quinn looked at her and smiled.

'Well someone had to feed Lord Tubbington...and last time I was here there were some serious lab experiments taking place in your fridge so I did a little grocery shop before picking you up earlier'

'Thankyou Q' Santana said as she took a bite of the Garlic Prawn pizza. She hadn't been eating much in the past few weeks...just the occasional hospital food that the nurses would leave her. She didn't actually think she was hungry but as she polished off most of the garlic prawn pizza and then layed into the chicken tandoori pizza she realized that she was eating like she hadn't eaten in years.

Santana lounged on the sofa as Quinn tidied up. She had no energy and was struggling to keep her eyes open.

'I think you should go and get some sleep before we head back to the hospital'

Santana's eyes flew open at the word hospital. 'I need to go back now' 'No' Quin said 'the doctors promised that they would ring once the procedure had been completed and that it was ok to return...I promise you...if I hear anything we will be there before you know it'

'OK' Santana mumbled as she got up and headed to her and Brit's bedroom, stopping at the door she turned and looked at Quinn 'Trust me...I will wake you up the moment I hear anything'

'Never trust a person that says trust me' Santana stated as she tried to smirk her usual smart arsed smirk..but to no avail.

Santana moved across to Brit's side of the bed. Closing her eyes, breathing in the heavenly scent that is Brittany her thoughts drifted back to happier times...

'Oh god...who ever invented this time of day needs to be shot' Santana whined at Quinn 'Seriously who in their right mind would ever voluntarily get up and be at work this god dam fucking early?'

Quinn laughed 'That would be us San...just remember you volunteered for this and on the bright side it gets you out of having to do those disgusting 5am starts at the airport' Santana groaned..yes she had volunteered but only because she needed a break from shift work and she thought that at least the start time for the 6 month training course that her and Quinn were running was going to start at 9.30 and not this ungodly 8.30am...that's a whole hour longer she could be getting her beauty sleep.

'All I can say is ...there had better be some eye candy amongst these new recruits' Quinn just laughed and picked up her training materials. Santana grabbed the pile of course literature which, quite frankly, would send even the most hardcore insomniac to sleep. They set up the room ready for the new arrivals.

Santana was glad that Quinn was going to start the course off...she wasn't a morning person and there wasn't much chance of her being too pleasant and cheerful until she had had her third cup of coffee for the day. She look at the time and cursed there was no time to run to the cafe and get an espresso...bring on morning tea she thought.

Santana sat at the back of the room and casually eyed each recruit as they walked in. No one had piqued her interest until a tall blonde came running in apologising for being late saying something about a Lord Tubbington going through detox and that she had to clean up the mess he had made.

'Someone's had too much sugar for breakfast' Santana thought to herself as Quinn introduced herself and gave an outline of the course and what to expect.

'OK so thats a very brief outline but what I think we should do first is to introduce ourselves...what I'd like to hear is 3 things about you as well as what you did before you came to join Customs...Santana and I will start off' Santana jumped when she heard her name she wasnt expecting to actually have to say or do anything before lunch

'OK soooooo..I'm Quinn Fabray Ive been a Customs Officer for 6 years now and can't really remember what it was like to go to work not having to wear a uniform. I kick ass on singstar, I hate intolerance and people who talk non stop about themselves...you're up San'

Santana groans and stands up...ok lets get this over with quickly 'Hi everyone Im Santana Lopez and Like Quinn I also have been in Customs for 6 years I am not a morning person...so you have all been warned' Santana glances around the room and lets her gaze fall on the tall blonde who is sitting there listening attentively and she smiles slightly 'Contrary to Quinns belief I am the one that kicks ass on singstar and I welcome any challengers cuz I knows ...no one ...can beats me. I also love to eat junk food for breakfast cuz breakfast is usually around midday...next'

Everyone stakes turns in introducing themselves but Santana doesn't take a lot of notice..she hopes that Quinn will fill her in over lunch. Finally the tall blonde stands up and Santana perks up a little...'I'm Brittany S Pierce and no no relation to Britney Spears...I spend most of my time making sure Lord Tubbington doesn't take up smoking again...it really is a foul habit each time he gives up smoking he puts on so much weight and then he has to go through another diet which he really isn't good at sticking to..Im hoping the psychologist can help him with that this time. My favourite colour is purple and I like to have sugary treats on hand at all times cuz it helps with concentration and I have a feeling that we are going to need copious amounts of concentration' Brittany pouts as she makes that last statement.

Santana is smiling as she woke up reliving the time she first laid eyes on her beautiful girlfriend. She frowns and then gets up to go talk to Quinn.

Entering the lounge she sees Quinn watching Days of Our Lives. 'Quinn can I drag you away from that riveting television you are watching I need to tell you something'

Quinn quickly sits up surprised to see her BFF there and immediately worried about what Santana may have to say. 'Of course you can...bit did you sleep ok?'

'Yea I slept ok' Santana states as she sits down next to Quinn. 'Q I can trust you right?'

'Of course you can...with your life you can...with Brittany's life you can...whats up?

'ummmmm...I..ummm...it was...*sigh*'

Quinn looked at Santana through worried eyes and held her hand as tears started to fall down Santana's cheeks.

'San you don't have to tell me anything that you aren't comfortable with saying' Quinns voice was shaking

Santana sighed 'No I have to tell someone I have to talk about it and you are the only person I feel I can trust'

'OK...but just take your time...there is no hurry' Quinn spoke softly, she had never seen her friend this way before she wasn't sure if this Santana ..this vulnerable frightened Santana...was a Santana she wanted to see...it was breaking her heart.

Tears were streaming down Santana's face 'the bomb was meant for me, it should be me in that hospital bed..not Brittany...it's my fault that she is there...it's all my fault' Santana sobbed uncontrollably and Quinn took her in her arms and held her.