La Douleur Exquise
So this was a little something that has been floating around my brain for quite some time. When I read drjamband's fic "A Relationship in Ten Words" (an epically cute Johnlock fic, if I might say so), this phrase just stuck in my mind.
And then I finished HoH, and I knew the perfect characters for this fic. So here it is.
Angst, lots of angst. And a dude crushing on a dude. If it's not your cup of nectar, don't read. Kk?
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The pain in his chest had been there, vaguely at first, ever since he had met the hero.
The golden boy. The rebel. The saviour.
The one and only Percy Jackson.
At the time, it was only hero worship. Hades, the guy had just saved his life! He was entitled to feel a little something towards the guy.
But that was the problem.
That little something had grown and evolved and was no longer little or insignificant. It stayed with him wherever he went. The pain grew.
When Percy had returned and Bianca had not, Nico just… he felt so numb. The one person who truly loved and cared for him was dead. Gone.
Nico had wanted revenge, but he couldn't.
He just couldn't hurt Percy.
And that's when he knew it had gotten seriously out of hand.
Big time.
It took him quite some time to accept these feelings and emotions. He had to be alone, had to find his place.
So he did the only logical thing. He left Camp Half-Blood. He had no place there, and the ache in his chest hurt too much when around that insufferable son of Poseidon.
He went nowhere and everywhere in search of something. Something to dull the ache.
Sometimes he was tempted to just end it all with his Stygian iron sword.
But he couldn't.
The longer he stayed away, the more the image of the demigod was built up. Until Percy Jackson appeared in his mind as if he had accepted the god's offer of immortality.
He hated it.
He hated him.
The pain in his chest grew stronger each day.
Meeting Percy after he had lost his memories was one of the hardest things Nico had ever endured. Not being remembered by the one you care for most has got to hurt.
He played along as best he could, but that pain, that horrible ache, worsened still.
Delving into Tartarus was supposed to banish all thought of Percy from his mind. Too bad the opposite occurred. Percy laced and invaded all his thoughts.
Imminent death gave him plenty of time to think.
Attacked by a manticore; saved by Percy.
About to be sold to the Titans; saved by Percy
Stuck in Tartarus; saved by the thought of Percy
There was a recurring pattern there.
And then of course, he was rescued from that damned bronze jar. Which added to the list.
Stuck in giant Bronze jar; saved by Percy and Co.
Nico knew he had it bad.
Like Prometheus, he was cursed to feel a pain in his chest that would never go away.
He'd told Jason and Cupid he was over Percy. He was lying, not only to them, but to himself.
He wasn't over Percy Jackson.
He feared he never would be.
It reminded him of a French phrase Piper had taught him. La Douleur Exquise. The Exquisite Pain. The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have.
Yeah, that pretty much summed it up.
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Well, there you have it folks. Some glorious onesided Nico/Percy angst. You are welcome. :P
Please let me know what you think! Reviews make my day.
Love Peace and Rock always,
RockerBabe414