This retelling was made on a spur of insanity. *Dilandau's voice* "This is going to be such fun!"
Disclaimer: Secret of Mana is one of THE best RPGs out there. Unfortunately, I don't own a single part of it; I just manipulated the characters. What fun!
Secret of Mana
Day1
Randi: You guys, I just don't know. Walking over a thin log, near a waterfall, with a 100 foot drop just doesn't seem like a very smart idea to me. Plus, the Elder told us not to....
Timothy: Aw c'mon Randi! I really think that the shiny thing Grandma was talking about is on the other side! Pleeeeeeaaaase! *puppy face*
Elliot: Look Randi, get your chicken butt over here or I'm kicking your ass!
Randi: Um... * Doubtful that the log will hold up much longer under Elliot's weight, but ireally/i doesn't want to get his ass kicked again* Okay.... *takes tentative steps until finally reaching the middle of the log* (whew)
Elliot: See, chicken butt! Nothing to it! *whaps Randi on the back*
Randi: uhhhh...ahhhhh! *falls off the log*
*SPLASH!*
Timothy: Uh-oh.... Oh, you're in for it now. Oh, gosh, you killed Randi! You killed Randi!
Elliot: Shut up twerp! If I get in trouble, then so do you. Besides, it wasn't my fault; he was just weak! *drags Timothy back to Potos village with him*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Randi: *shaking head free of water* uhhhhh... Where am I? Oh. Yeah. I remember. Stupid Elliot. Good thing the water was 20 feet deep. (Great. Now how do I get home.? There's no way I can get through that brush with my bare hands, unless I jump, that is. Wait, jump? What is jumping by one's own free will? This world will never know....)
Strange Light Out of Nowhere: Raaaaaannnnndiiiiii. Raaaaannnnndiiii.
Randi: Wha-? Who is that? *bright light fades, revealing a rusty sword in a stone* Riiiiiiight.
The Sword: Luke- erhem- I mean, Randi. I am your father. You are destined to pull me out of this rock.
Randi: (I think I hit my head too hard. Either that, or the sidestream off of Elliot's last joint was amazingly strong.) Excuse me?
The Sword: Look, just pull me out of this rock, okay? You have no idea how long I've been here!
Randi: *whiny valley girl voice* But you're all rusty and dirty. I might cut myself trying to free you. Then I'll need a tetanus shot, and I hear those really hurt! *end whiny voice*
The Sword: Geez, you're a whimp! You won't get a tetanus shot; in fact, they don't have those in this magical game world. You'd just die. Now pull me out!
Randi: But-
The Sword: *glowing* NOW! Or I'll pop out and stab you myself!
Randi: Errrr.... *Tentatively placing hands on the hilt*
The Sword: Firm grip, boy! Firm grip!
Randi: *tugs on sword* I'm try-. Whoa! That was easy! Yay! *swinging sword wildly* I've got a sword! *realizes that The Sword must be getting dizzy and stops* Uh... sorry about that.
The Sword: ....
Randi: Sword?
The Sword:....
Randi: * seriously questioning his own sanity* Fine! You don't want to talk anymore. That's just peachy with me! It's about time I put you to work, anyway! *Swings the sword in vicious arcs, slicing through the knee-high brush*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{back at Potos village}
Randi: *pant* *pant* I can't...believe... I made it.
Elliot: *grabs Randi into a smothering hug* Ohhhhhhh! Randi! We were SO worried about you!
Randi: *throws off Elliot and scowls* Yeah, I just bet you were.
Timothy: We thought you were dead! *weeping profusely*
Elder: There you are, my dear boy! We were worried sick about yo- *stops in his tracks and narrows his eyes* What is that?
Randi: Huh? *glances at his hand* Oh, this? I found it in a hidden lake. Nice, huh? My very own sword... *smiling dreamily*
Elder: BAKA! YOU IDIOT! FOOL! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU"VE JUST DONE?
Randi: Uh...no.
Elder: That's the Mana Sword!
Randi: Elder, your blood pressure-
Elder: It's protected our village for ages!
Randi: *blink* Are you okay Elder? I mean, it's just a sword-
Elder: You've released monsters near the village!
Randi: Wha-?
Elliot: *smacks Randi on the back of his head* Nice going, dumbas-aaaaaaahhhhh!
Randi: *falling with Elliot into a huge whole that suddenly appeared* Ahhhhh! *recovering quickly*
What is this place? Some type of underground cave?
Elliot: *crouched in a corner, shaking* *looking behind Randi with very wide eyes*
Randi: (Elliot scared? Is this a dream?) Elliot, what is it? * turns to look behind his shoulder*
Ah!!!
*Reflexively swing up the sword to ward off the claws of a Mantis Ant whose head is as big as Randi's entire body*
Randi: *sobbingly* What did I do to deserve this!?
Elder(from above the pit): You pulled out the Mana Sword, that's what. You freed it, and so you're the one who has to kill it. Now stop running away from the thing and hit it with the Mana Sword!
Randi& Elliot: I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
Elder: Use the sword!
Randi: *whacking the Mantis' butt- er- abdomen ineffectually with the blade* I'm trying. I can't pierce it's outer shell!
Elder: So try something else!
Randi: *running again* Like wha-
*The Mantis suddenly strikes his head toward Randi. Randi's wrist twists and he loses his grip on the sword, which goes flying – straight into the Mantis Ant's glassy eye and into it's brain. The monster puffs into smoke and its bones clatter to the ground*
Randi: Ewwwww.... *Reluctantly picking up the Mana Sword and a strange globe left in the ashes-*
Sayermyst: Received Sword's Orb! Dadadada!
Randi: Who said tha-?
Elder: Boy! Pay attention! We're trying to pull you up. *grabs a hold of Randi's hand and drags him from the pit* Nice going, my boy! * pounds him on the back affectionately*
Randi: *cheerfully* So I'm forgiven?
Elder: Errrrr....
Elliot: *crying into his mommy's bosom* No! *sniffle* You almost got me killed! *sniffle*
Randi: *grumbling* Your gratitude is overwhelming. I saved your life.
Irrelevant Potos Villager #1: This wouldn't have happened in the first place if you hadn't pulled out the Mana Sword!
Randi: How was I supposed to know that a rusty sword hidden in a not-so-very-hidden lake would be the...the...
Elder: Mana Sword?
Randi: Right. Exactly.
Irrelevant Potos Villager #2: He's a constant danger to our village with the freed Mana Sword. Monster's will be naturally attracted to him, and therefore attracted to the village. I say we banish him!
Randi: *jawdrop* Huh?
Irrelevant Potos Villager #3: Yeah! Banish him forever!
Randi: * incredulous* I just saved your lives!
Elder: People of Potos Village-
All Potos Villagers: Ba-nish him! Ban-nish him! Ba-nish him!
Elder: -let us at least-
All Potos Villagers: Ba-nish him! Ban-nish him! Ba-nish him!
Elder: -try to maintain some order!
All Potos Villagers: Ba-nish him! Ban-nish him! Ba-nish him!
Elder: I declare a vote!
*The villagers slowly cease their chanting.*
Irrelevant Potos Villager #4: ...This is a democracy? I never knew that. How come you never told any of us villagers, Elder? Just what are you trying to pull?
Elder: *slides hand down face (and beard) in frustration with the irrelevant villagers* This is not a democracy. I'm only letting you vote for today.
Irrelevant Potos Villager #4: *downcast* Oh.
Elder: *back to looking dignified* Now. Raise your hand if you want Randi banished from Potos Village.
*All Potos Villagers raise hands*
Elder: Raise only one hand. And remember, you can only vote once. Keep them up so I can tally, please. *counts* Fifteen! Okay, now who wants Randi to stay?
Timothy: * raises his hand (again)*
All Potos Villagers (except Timothy): *glare at Timothy*
Timothy: *swiftly lowers his hand*
Elder: Okay, now let me count....
Randi: *sweatdrop*
Elder: Sorry boy, but you are banished!
*deafening cheers and scattered high-fives*
Randi: NANI!? {translated from Japanese: WHAT!?}