Alfred wasn't afraid to admit it. She was out of his league. She was beautiful, she was smart, she was playful, she was just awesome. Alfred wasn't all that. He was a junior that still hung out with freshmen. Still played cards and had comic books. Still had a deck of Magic the Gathering in his bag. Still rocking thick framed glasses and baggy clothes. She, on the other hand was different. Livelier, if that made any sense.

Seemed like when she came back from summer break her eyes were brighter. Her smiles lingered longer. Her insults became teasing comments. She seemed to glow in a way that Alfred's never seen before. Not when they played cards sophomore year. Not when he took her to the fields to look at the stars. Not when he kissed her under the night sky and not when they spent the ride back cruising and singing stupid songs on the radio.

He's never seen Chiara this happy. This carefree. This alive.

It hurt.

But it would be a lie to say he was surprised. When a random guy came over to her and kissed her cheek, wrapped his tan arm around her, it made sense. Alfred wasn't all that. He wasn't tanned like that, wasn't built with so much confidence to show what muscles he did have, didn't have those eyes or that hair or that smile and he sure to god can't pass off as spanish with the southern twang that clung to his every word.

Alfred wasn't ashamed of who he was. He loved who he's worked to become and the only girl he's ever loved making the same doe eyes Alfred once had on her 24/7 wouldn't change that. No, he wasn't all that the guy hanging off his ex-girlfriend was but that doesn't matter. He was who he was.

He only wished that that would've been enough for Chiara to love instead of looking for a lisp, guitar music, and tomatoes to take his place.

Alfred never told her this, but he thought about a future with her before. He would come home from a long day in the army and he would scope her up in a hug. She would roll her eyes at his eager greeting and shove him off. Chiara would say, "Dinner will burn with you grabbing me like that." She would pout but that's fine, he's give her a kiss to make it go away. They'd be happy. They'd have a kid or two. A happy little family. They would've been happy together.

Chiara's loud laughing at something the Spanish guy said is what snapped him out of the -lovely, wondrous, unreachable- daydream. It was funny. He never gave a shit about what his future would look like, only how to get there and what he's to do when he got to a certain point but without Chiara in his arms, Alfred felt lost for the first time in a long time. Without her, he won't come home to Italian on the stove. Without her there was no red hot blushes and after hour whispers of confessions.

That Spaniard stole his love. His future. Alfred understood it but what will he do now? Will another girl even love him? He wasn't very likable. Chiara was something surreal, he tripped up every time he called her his girlfriend. He never got over how someone could love him. See things like he did. Trust him and believe in him enough to stand by his side and fight the World with him. How is he ever going to find someone else like this? Confused with no confidence, second guessing himself and second guessing what others think of him romantic wise. This was no way to go about things. But Alfred was Alfred. He shouldn't change just to cure some fears and loneliness. Should he? Is he even old enough to be asking himself this question?

"Al? You've been staring for a while, I think they're starting to get uncomfortable.."

Alfred shook his head and straightened himself out, finally drawing his gaze from the group, from her. "Thanks, Mattie."

"Let's go home, eh? We can watch Black Panther on the Xbox, maybe The Silence of the Lambs again if you want." Matthew offered in an attempt to shift Alfred's attention somewhere other then the group three tables away from them.

Seeing the offer for what it was, Alfred smiled and stood up to leave without complaint. "Sure thing, Mattie. Let's go."

The walk to the car was silent. For the most part. "Are you going to be okay?"

Alfred looked back to the restaurant. He sucked his teeth for a moment then gave a halfhearted shrug before turning back to the pick up they were ridding in, the same one he used to drive that beauty out to the fields for a night of magic, one he'll never forget. "I'll be fine. Later though. Right now... I don't really know."

Matthew looked at the pick up thinking about the night Alfred took it from the driveway and came back home at four in the morning with a dopey grin and lip stick on his neck. "That's okay. You have time to miss her. No one will judge you."

"Good. Because I miss her. More than anything, Mattie."

"You got time, Al. You got time."

I've been thinking about making this a whole story but I'm not sure. It'll be just fem!lovino getting close to Alfred and Alfred having the time of his life and then her falling in love with Antonio after about maybe a year of her and Alfred dating. I don't know. I like my Almost Great but I've been thinking about this one just as long as I have that one. That and this one is more my writing style, you know? I don't know. Night.