Ander doesn't know how long he's been sitting on the balcony staring across the elven land at the Ellcrys. It was this very tree that had taken almost everyone he held dearest to his heart away from him, his father, Arion, Diana and more recently his beautiful niece Amberle; even Aine his older brother was dead.
Ander had no one left in these four worlds that loved him for who he was. Sure the elven community loves him but that was just because he was now their king, before all this drama he was nothing but the drunken, party animal and immature, youngest son of the king.
Ander feels something wet running down his cheek; he brings his hand up to wipe away the moisture, it was then that he realised was crying. Those few fallen tears soon turn into chest wracking sobs of heart-wrenching pain for everyone he lost. Ander hugs his knees tightly to his chest resting his head between his legs to hide his face. From whom, he didn't know.
Ander reminisced the day when he waited alongside his father, brother and the elven council, waiting to see if it was Amberle who would walk into the sanctuary as one of the chosen.
Ander remembers the swell of happiness as Amberle got escorted in, and her blindfold got removed. The look of pure joy on her beautiful face that looked so much like her mother as she smiled at him. He had been so proud of her.
But that was also the same day everything went utterly and entirely wrong.
Ander slowly stands up and creeps his way towards his chamber, making sure not to get spotted by any of the elven guards. The last thing he wanted right now was someone trying to talk to him or to see the state he was currently.
At last, he makes it safely to his chambers. Locking the door behind himself he makes his way to the hidden compartment in his fireplace where he had hidden a stash of harsh alcohol.
Ander pulls out one of the most potent bottles he owns, shuffling over to his overly large window he sits down on the bench, that out looks the vast land of the four worlds.
Everything looks so alive and happy, while he felt the complete opposite of that. Ander felt dead and empty inside. Sighing, he unscrews the lid off the bottle and takes a large gulp. The liquid burns as it makes its way down his throat. Right now Ander can't care less; he welcomes the pain. He needs this.
He's been sitting at the bench drinking and crying for about an hour now. Ander was so out of it that he doesn't hear the little the rattle of his door being pick locked, nor his door getting pushed opened before shutting behind the footsteps that were making their way over towards him.
Allanon can't help the small frown that forms when he looks at the sight before him. The young, newly king before him was in an unbelievable amount of pain and was trying to drink it away while his body continued to rack with sobs.
Allanon leans over and grasps the bottle when Ander goes to bring it to his lips. He can't help but notice Ander's lips that were wet and red from Ander biting them. They looked downright soft and kissable-.
Allanon quickly shakes his head to put a stop to that train of thought. He shouldn't be thinking along the lines of those things at a horrible time like this.
Ander jumps as a hand enters his vision and takes the bottle of alcohol out of his shaking hands. Ander's eyes quickly albeit sluggishly follow the hand up to the owners face.
Allanon. It was Allanon who was standing in his room and holding the one thing he needs more than anything right now in his tight grasp.
"H-how did you get in h-here, and g-give me that b-back" his speech comes out slurred in between small hiccups from the excessive amount of alcohol he has consumed.
Allanon sighs as he takes in the young king's face. Bright red-rimmed blue eyes stood out against tear streaked cheeks, ruffled hair, and those goddamn lips.
Ander looks like a mess, but that was understandable, he's just lost his whole family and potential lover in a short period.
"I'm a druid and a couple of centuries old if you haven't forgotten, and I'm here to check on you" Allanon coos.
Ander glares at Allanon "G-go away, I'm fine" he snaps but as of the moment, there was no venom lacing the words. Just a pleading tone as he snatches the bottle back and takes another gulp.
Allanon shakes his head "I can't stand by and let you drink yourself into a stupor; you're King now and with that title comes responsibilities. Sitting around moping is not what your father would want" it was harsh, but it was the truth.
At these words, Ander's face grows hot with anger. Ander stands up too quickly and sways slightly before poking an accusing finger into Allanon's chest.
"I didn't want t-this! I did not wish to be king of Arborlorn!" Ander yells, throwing the bottle across the room. It hits the wall and smashes, sending shards of glass and liquid everywhere.
"Arion was heir to the throne, and that got taken from him, his life ripped from him just like fathers, Aine, Diana, and Am-Amberle" he chokes out, voice getting even more broken with every word until he finally explodes.
Ander turns around and starts throwing things off his draws, pushing them over onto the marble floor and destroying everything in his path until his room was a mess of debris.
He collapses on his knees and is left a broken sobbing mess on the floor surrounded by broken shards of glass and other debris.
Allanon can't stop the pain that fills his chest, squeezing his heart painfully as he witnesses the aftermath of the war, bear down on Ander's shoulders.
Allanon kneels down in front of Ander pulling him into a soft and warm embrace. Ander fights against the hold at first, slamming his hands into Allanon's hard chest. Crying out begging for Allanon to let him go and leave him by himself.
Allanon ignores the pain of Ander's hits. After a while, Ander finally stops and all but collapses into his embrace, head buried into his neck as the young man wails and mumbles words over and over again against his neck.
At first, he can't decipher what was said. But after he does, he wishes he hadn't. This brave young man, who has endured so much pain and heartache, was quietly begging for death.
"P-please, please just k-k-kill me" Ander murmurs over and over again as his body quivers and quakes with every word. Allanon holds him tighter in his arms and presses a soft kiss against his soft hair.
"I could never, ever do that, not in a million years. Please don't say those sought of things Ander, you are loved by many and the elven race is counting on you" he consoles softly in Ander's ear.
"I have no one left, they d-don't need me. I'm w-worthless" Ander chokes out, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and falling onto Allanon's neck.
"You're wrong Ander. They need you. You'll come to see this Ander; I promise" Allanon states. After a while, Ander falls still in in Allanon's arms, soft even breaths tickling his neck.
Allanon carefully picks Ander up, cradling him against his chest as he makes his way over to lay the young king who has snuggled up against his chest to get closer to the warmth emanating from the druids body.
Allanon softly lays him under the blankets of his bed. After Allanon has carefully tucked the king in, he leans down and presses a soft kiss upon the frowning forehead of the young elf.
Smoothing the frown away with his thumb "I need you, more than you could know" Allanon whispers against warm skin. Allanon pulls back and takes one last look at the sleeping elf before sighing and moving to pick up a chair to sit down.
Allanon picks up a fallen book to read as he settles in for the night to watch over the sleeping form.
Ander slowly begins to wake up due to the sunlight pouring in from the window, blinking sluggishly he pries his eyes open, letting his eyes adjust to mornings sunlight.
Ander tries to remember how he got into bed. The last thing he remembers was sitting at the window with a bottle of the potent stuff, trying to drown his sorrows away and then…oh.
It all comes flooding back to him as he takes in the state his bedchamber. The drinking and crying, Allanon coming in, yelling at Allanon, throwing the bottle at the wall, destroying his room, sinking to his knees, words exchanged.
Allanon, holding him tightly as he cried himself to sleep.
A soft blush rose up his neck to his ears as he remembers how amazing and right it felt to be held by Allanon.
Sighing softly, Ander slowly pulls himself into a sitting position, careful not to jostle his head too much. That was one of the consequences of drinking; it had taken its toll in the form of a raging headache.
Ander blushes when he finally spots the slumped form asleep in an armchair in the corner of his ruined room. Allanon had stayed to make sure he was okay. This thought causes his stomach to flutter softly.
Ander slowly gets out of bed and makes his way around the glass shards and other broken debris on the ground. Ander makes his way towards the bathroom to take a bath to clean himself up and to do his teeth.
After preparing the water to the right temperature, he shuts the door half way and strips off his clothes until he was bare.
He slowly climbs in the bath and slides down until his chest up was the only thing uncovered by the water.
Pulling his knees up to his chest to rest his chin on top of them; he thought about the family he'd lost, the responsibilities of being a king, watching his brother come back as a demon only to kill Diana and then to have Arion in his arms begging for death.
Ander's whole families blood was on his hands. Aine had died because he was stupid, drunk and reckless. Amberle was brought into this mess because he trained her to become one of the chosen. His father Evantine died because he couldn't protect him.
Arion was dead, Then turned demon only to be killed again because he didn't listen and tried to attack the Dagda Mor without a plan. And his brother paid the price.
By extension, Diana's death was his fault too because he'd gotten his brother killed.
The tears began to fall again. So many elves had died, and all their blood was on Ander's hands. Ander started to feel sick with himself. Tears were burning his eyes as they made their way down his cheeks and into the water.
Ander closes his eyes as he slides into the water. After about thirty seconds of being under the water, he breaches the surface of the water.
Ander opens his eyes and automatically wishes he hadn't. His breath catches in his throat at the sight before him. His hands drenched in thick, hot blood.
Slowly looking down at the baths water he struggles to breathe when he sees that the water was no longer water, but hot sticky crimson blood. All of a sudden decaying hands come out of the water grabbing at him and trying to pull him under the surface.
Allanon awakes to a blood-curdling scream coming from the bathroom.
A quick glance to the empty bed had him wide awake as he ran towards the bathroom, power surging in his hands, ready to fight off whoever was attacking the King.
As soon as he rushes into the bathroom, he frantically looks around. Confused he saw no one. Allanon looks down at Ander, who was in the bath desperately trying to fight off whatever he was seeing.
Ander was attempting to pull himself to the surface of the water; bubbles were rising to the surface as Ander continued to fight something invisible to breach the surface for air that he so badly needs.
Allanon quickly moves into action and reaches into the large bath, grabbing Ander by his biceps. With one pull he had the trembling king out of the tub, wrapped in a gown and encased in his arms as Ander tried wildly to catch his breath.
Ander was hacking up bits of water as he fought for breath. He clutches onto Allanon's shirt tightly with his fist, scrunching up the fabric as his body was shaking violently. Ander eyed the bath as if it was the worst thing in his life. His eyes remained full of terror and hot tears.
Allanon rocks Ander back and forth slowly as he rubs one hand up and down the Kings back, the other hand wraps around Ander's waist holding him still.
"Shh, you're okay, there's no one here, and no one's going to hurt you, everything's okay. It's just you and me here."
After a while, Ander brings himself to match Allanon's breathing and finally he was calm enough to speak.
"So much blood. There was so much blood, I was covered in it Allanon, then there were these decaying hands that kept pulling me under and I couldn't breathe. God, I couldn't breathe.
They just wouldn't let me go no matter how hard I fought" he cries out as he hugs closer seeking the warmth that was permeating off Allanon like a heater.
Allanon reluctantly leaves the bathroom once Ander had insisted he was fine now. Allanon carefully makes his way over to the centre of Ander's room taking in the mess.
Sighing softly Allanon moved towards the door to wave in a few servants to get the room back into order.
Ander soon exits the bathroom to find his room tidy, as if his breakdown never happened. Ander turns and sees Allanon staring out the window he had his drinking bender only a few hours earlier.
Ander comes to a stop beside Allanon. Standing beside Allanon, Ander to stares out the window across the four lands.
"I should probably go check in with Kale and the rest of the council, see if she still has plans of overruling the drunken stupor of a King" Ander states in a self-depreciating laugh.
Allanon eyes Ander from the corner of his vision "Don't think of yourself like that Ander. You've gone through things most of the inhabitants of the four lands couldn't understand and yet here you stand, alive." Allanon murmurs.
Looking at Ander fully now he finishes with "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for".
Ander peeks at Allanon "Thanks, I guess…" he shrugs minutely with a small smile.
Ander exited his room and made his way through the kingdoms halls until he finally reaches the quarters where Kale and the council were all surrounding the table discussing matters at hand.
Ander stalks over and takes his seat, blatantly ignoring the glare from Kale that followed him from the door to his place at the head of the table.
"Welcome back, King Ander" the council greets in Unison. Ander gives a respective nod in their direction before crossing his fingers and trying to hold himself together.