I felt so empty. That is all I could describe my emotions. I had no tears to cry because my tear tank inside me had been emptied out throughout Gus's life. It didn't feel like Gus's heart has stopped, but it felt like mine had. He was my treasure. Handsome, Intelligent and had the greatest personality. I could see what Hazel saw in him. He didn't deserve any of THIS. This world. He didn't deserve to die. He should have lived. Why did he die? Tell me! PLEASE! He was perfect! Not a nasty bone within him. Augustus Waters. Is there anything wrong with the name? Is that why he died? Is there anything wrong with me? Is that why he died? NO! It was this devil disease. I cannot even describe it. It killed my son. My precious baby boy.
I come to the grave yard every single day, three times a day. I get up at 5. I go to the church. I go to work. My lunch break isn't spent having a cup of coffee with my work friends. But, going to the church. I finish the day off and go to the church. I buy dinner. I eat dinner I lie on my bed. And it repeats like that every single day. Well, since Gus… died.
Hazel came round every day to see if I was okay. I just yelled at her to go away. She hadn't done anything wrong. She just reminded me of him. If I saw her eyes, heard her knock it would make me scream out my lungs into the pillow. Gus's father left me. He couldn't cope. I don't blame him really. I wouldn't like to live with someone who was depressed. He looked after me for about 3 weeks until he couldn't cope any more. "Sorry" He said and went. Just like that. So I now have no reason to be happy. I have no reason to be happy for anyone. I don't want to be happy for Hazel. Like I said she just makes me feel upset.
I have just finished work. So I then start the car to drive when I see Gus. He's there in front of the car. I scream "GUS!" I get out of my car and run towards him. But I seem to be running for a long time even though he was right next to my car. "Mom!" I can hear him shout. "Mom, it's okay! I have been here the whole time. Where's dad? Where's Hazel?" I stopped then. I couldn't see him anywhere but he was talking to me. Perhaps he was hiding. "Come out Gus! You know I hate to play hide and seek!" There was no response so I stood there. I'm miles from my car and I 'm cold. I sit down in the middle of the road. Blocking everyone who seems to be around me for no reason. "Gus isn't here…" They keep saying. But I know he IS! HE IS! I get up and shove everyone out of the way.
"GUS! GUS! COME TO MOMMY! PLEASE!" He's there.
Again I run towards him. I hear car sounds screeching but I ignore them. It's Hazel I can see in the car. She is trying to slow down but she can't stop. I am too concentrated on Gus but he disappears so I stop. People are running towards me, but I don't know why. Why are they running towards me? Please can you tell me? Hazels car has no more power. I let her take my life so I can join Gus. The car crashes into me and my brain stops. Everything is black. Dark. Good bye.